Autophobia
Question:
Hi All, After my long term girlfriend left me at Christmas I had a breakdown and had to see a psychiatrist for several weeks after. Over a period of time I developed issues such as OCD, Panic Disorder and Depression and as a result I now take medication on a daily basis to help me cope with it. I have been advised by my psychiatrist that over time I have also developed Autophobia. Is there anyone else out there that has this phobia or is aware of it. I had never heard of it until I started to discover that I have it. I would like to hear from any other people that have this phobia or know about it. I look forward to hearing from you. James.
Response:
I had to go look this up. Thought it was a fear of cars {grin} Seriously, I suffered from this (not knowing the name for it) as a child unp until I was in my mid 30’s. I think my father dying (when I was 13) left me with some abandonment issues and might have played a big role in my fears of being alone. Antidepressants also helped me overcome this fear. Now I enjoy an occasional bit of solitude, although I’m glad I’m married and not alone all the time. NK "James McGrandles" <mico_8nos…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b80rd4$1gb$1@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi All, > After my long term girlfriend left me at Christmas I had a breakdown and had > to see a psychiatrist for several weeks after. Over a period of time I > developed issues such as OCD, Panic Disorder and Depression and as a result > I now take medication on a daily basis to help me cope with it. I have been > advised by my psychiatrist that over time I have also developed Autophobia. > Is there anyone else out there that has this phobia or is aware of it. I > had never heard of it until I started to discover that I have it. > I would like to hear from any other people that have this phobia or know > about it. > I look forward to hearing from you. > James.
Response:
"No kidding!" <nokidd…@NOSPAMria.net> wrote in message
news:3N%oa.36285$4P1.3243847@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > Now I enjoy > an occasional bit of solitude, although I’m glad I’m married and not alone > all the time. > NK
Personally I like a LOT of time to myself. My partner has been complaining that I do not spend enough time with her, while I think that I do not have enough time to myself. My interests are not the kind my partner enjoys and she would not under any circumstances indulge in my interests (my kind of music, my kind of movies and video games), so because I am such a considerate (& modest :p) person I go along with her interests most of the time. My question to you is how much time a week / day should partners spend with each other? I’ve heard from a lady who went to marriage counceling that 10 hours (together, not washing dishes or crap like that) per week when things are going good and double that when times are going not so well. Lain
Response:
James McGrandles wrote:
> After my long term girlfriend left me at Christmas I had a breakdown > and had to see a psychiatrist for several weeks after. Over a period > of time I developed issues such as OCD, Panic Disorder and Depression > and as a result I now take medication on a daily basis to help me cope > with it. Has your psychiatrist just given you meds? What about therapy? CBT is used for OCD, panic disorder and depression and personal counselling could maybe help you adjust to your new life as a result of the end of your relationship. > I have been advised by my psychiatrist that over time I have also > developed Autophobia. I had to look that up. Never heard of it before. How is your shrink presenting this info to you? I seriously doubt this is a legitmate psychiatrict label or dx, especially considering you have just come out of a long term relationship. Of course you’re likely to feel fucked up about being alone! > Is there anyone else out there that has this phobia or is aware of it. > I had never heard of it until I started to discover that I have it. Personally, I love being alone. I enjoy the company of my family (to a point) and friends but I need to have my own space and to be alone in it, probably more than most people. I didn’t always feel like that mind you. I once felt very vulnerable and freaked out when I was alone. Why do you think you are afraid of being alone? — ARQ Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in my name and a ‘c’ in front of lara to email me.
Response:
|_ /-\ | |\| wrote: > My question to you is how much time a week / day should partners spend > with each other? 1 hour and 7 minutes per day. Which works out, according to my calculations, as 7 hours and 49 minutes per week. Any less than that, well you might as well just call it quits; any more and you’re both being co-dependent. — ARQ Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in my name and a ‘c’ in front of lara to email me.
Response:
> My question to you is how much time a week / day should partners spend > with each other? I’ve heard from a lady who went to marriage counceling that > 10 hours (together, not washing dishes or crap like that) per week when > things are going good and double that when times are going not so well. > Lain
This is very interesting as I’ve never counted how much time we spend together but it ‘feels" right. Meaning I am not disappointed and I don’t think he is either. Since I work full time, there’s 8 hours during the day every Monday – Friday that I am away from him. If he is working night shift (usually 2 days a week), we can go as long as 2 or 3 days without seeing each other at all. I used to hate it but now I’m used to it and like my two days to myself partake in "selfish" pleasures (i.e- things he doesn’t always like to do a lot such as go out to eat with my mom or let play on the computer all evening). I also go to school so that take up one or two evenings a week. We try to be together on weekends, but he frequently works and we are also usually doing errands and cleaning house if he isn’t so I guess Ann is close to the mark. I certainly don’t get time with him every single day (or if I do it’s only an hour or two), but other days I get 4 or 5 hours after work. We usually sit in front of the boob tube. Sometimes we’ll go for a walk if the weather is nice. We are lucky that we have a little trailer at the beach so we try to get in a few days there once a month. We are usually up each other’s asses when we go there, so by the end of a few days, we are bored and ready to go back home. He has learned not to make me partake in his activities that I don’t care for and I have learned to occasionally go with him even if I don’t really want (to at least show an interest in his life and keep up with his activities). It’s hard to average how much time we spend because he schedule swings. Since I’ve taken this new job, I have more time and now I’d guess we average about 20 hours a week together (but than again….about half of this is probably doing shopping and cleaning, etc). So the 10 hour estimate is probably very close. I guess it doesn’t really matter what the hours are as long as you both are happy with it. NK
Response:
"Ann R Quay" <ann.r.q…@clara.co.uk> wrote in message news:3EA51335.9080007@clara.co.uk… > |_ /-\ | |\| wrote: > > My question to you is how much time a week / day should partners spend > > with each other? > 1 hour and 7 minutes per day. Which works out, according to my > calculations, as 7 hours and 49 minutes per week. Any less than that, > well you might as well just call it quits; any more and you’re both > being co-dependent.
Thats why its so damn imortant to have a proper and acurate watch! Are atomic clocks heavy? I also heard that even they go out of sync (1 sec in a 1000 years). We are doomed to begin with, the timing is just not right you know? Lain
Response:
Thanks for taking the time to reply. No doubt the proper ballance is when both partners are happy. Unfortunately I seem to attract people (and aliens) whose hobbies / interests are me. I try to be fair in relationships, but I also get very agro if I fell I am being treated unfairly, as such it is important for me to figure out what is acceptable. Like I mentioned before I really enjoy time alone, but since moving in together (which is a major goal achievement for me BTW) I do not get time alone to be me. I will give you an example, over the last long weekend (4 days) we spent the first 3 days toghether, watching TV together, eating together, cleaning together, going away to the mountains for a night… and when we came back on the 4th day, I sat at my computer in the afternoon to work on my resume (so you can not call this alone "fun" time) and my parner felt that I was not spending enough time together and she was bored. I dont know, I just feel so helpless, because I think I am doing the right thing, but my partner does not think so and I want us both to be happy. I think the courtesy and thought I give, I do not get in return but I feel guilty if I try to stand up for me, so I just sit back down 
Lain — It is easier to see the light, from darkness. "No kidding!" <nokidd…@NOSPAMria.net> wrote in message
news:cSjpa.37514$4P1.3391238@newsread2.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > My question to you is how much time a week / day should partners spend > > with each other? I’ve heard from a lady who went to marriage counceling > that > > 10 hours (together, not washing dishes or crap like that) per week when > > things are going good and double that when times are going not so well. > > Lain > This is very interesting as I’ve never counted how much time we spend > together but it ‘feels" right. Meaning I am not disappointed and I don’t > think he is either. > Since I work full time, there’s 8 hours during the day every Monday – Friday > that I am away from him. If he is working night shift (usually 2 days a > week), we can go as long as 2 or 3 days without seeing each other at all. I > used to hate it but now I’m used to it and like my two days to myself > partake in "selfish" pleasures (i.e- things he doesn’t always like to do a > lot such as go out to eat with my mom or let play on the computer all > evening). I also go to school so that take up one or two evenings a week. We > try to be together on weekends, but he frequently works and we are also > usually doing errands and cleaning house if he isn’t so I guess Ann is close > to the mark. I certainly don’t get time with him every single day (or if I > do it’s only an hour or two), but other days I get 4 or 5 hours after work. > We usually sit in front of the boob tube. Sometimes we’ll go for a walk if > the weather is nice. > We are lucky that we have a little trailer at the beach so we try to get in > a few days there once a month. We are usually up each other’s asses when we > go there, so by the end of a few days, we are bored and ready to go back > home. He has learned not to make me partake in his activities that I don’t > care for and I have learned to occasionally go with him even if I don’t > really want (to at least show an interest in his life and keep up with his > activities). It’s hard to average how much time we spend because he schedule > swings. Since I’ve taken this new job, I have more time and now I’d guess we > average about 20 hours a week together (but than again….about half of this > is probably doing shopping and cleaning, etc). So the 10 hour estimate is > probably very close. > I guess it doesn’t really matter what the hours are as long as you both are > happy with it. > NK
Response:
|_ /-\ | |\| (with undone shoelaces) wrote: > I think the courtesy and thought I give, I do not get in return Not standing up for what you need in a relationship is not courtesy and thought; it’s not standing up for what you need. It’s also a near guaranteed way to make sure you don’t get what you need and a way to make yourself miserable. > but I feel guilty if I try to stand up for me, so I just sit back > down Most relationships need a bit of compromise by both parties. By not standing up for what you require, you’re going to end up compromising a lot more than your partner is. The balance or compromise falls in favour of your partner instead of the compromise being equitable. It sounds like she’s asking for what she requires and she’s getting all of it, while you’re getting not much, if any, of what you require. She might be happpy but you’re obviously not. Can you see yourself sustaining that? ‘Being nice’ is probably one of the worst things to be in a relationship because ‘being nice’ often means not being truthful about what your need and want in a relationship. If you don’t get what you need, you’re not going to be satified. I don’t see how that can be a good thing in a relationship. If you stood up for yourself and said that you need to spend, say, a few hours a day on your own doing your own thing to be happy with who you are as a person (or whatever it is your require), what do you think she would say? Or what has she said if you have stated what you need? — ARQ Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in my name and a ‘c’ in front of lara to email me.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Personally, I love being alone. I enjoy the company of my family (to a >point) and friends but I need to have my own space and to be alone in >it, probably more than most people. I didn’t always feel like that mind >you. I once felt very vulnerable and freaked out when I was alone. >Why do you think you are afraid of being alone? >– >ARQ >Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in my name >and a ‘c’ in front of lara to email me.
I am the type of person that needs a lot of time to myself. I need time to think about what’s going on in my life and to clear my head. If I’m around people (or even just one person) for more than 2 days straight, I feel like I’m losing my mind. I wasn’t always like this though…I used to feel so alone and needy when nobody was around. Now, I spend probably 85% of my time alone (outside of work) and I actually enjoy it (except sometimes I am craving company so I have a friend over). I have a lot of friends that need someone around all the time or else they’re bored or they don’t know what to do with themselves. And I have also noticed that a lot of these type of people have to have some kind of music or the TV on 24/7. My friends will call and say, "It’s so quiet over there. Why isn’t the stereo on?" They think it’s absurd to just sit in silence (like I’m doing right now…the TV was driving me nuts!). My theory is that people who need constant company or noise are afraid of something going on in their head. They’re not willing to confront their thoughts and listen to what’s going on in their mind. I think the reason I feel like I am so in tune with other people and their feelings is because I sit and think, not only about myself but about other people. I try to figure out my problems and work through them rather than drown them out with loud music or the TV. Did that make sense to anyone? (By the way, I just wanted to say hi to everyone…it’s been awhile since I’ve posted!) Shana shaynuh…@aol.com Visit the web site created for alt.support.ocd! http://members.aol.com/shaynuh512/page1.html I’m so sick of this roller coaster ride…I want my ticket back!!!
Response:
Shana wrote:
> I have a lot of friends that need someone around all the time or else > they’re bored or they don’t know what to do with themselves. And I > have also noticed that a lot of these type of people have to have some > kind of music or the TV on 24/7. My friends will call and say, "It’s > so quiet over there. Why isn’t the stereo on?" They think it’s absurd > to just sit in silence (like I’m doing right now…the TV was driving > me nuts!). > > My theory is that people who need constant company or noise are afraid > of something going on in their head. They’re not willing to confront > their thoughts and listen to what’s going on in their mind. I think > the reason I feel like I am so in tune with other people and their > feelings is because I sit and think, not only about myself but about > other people. I try to figure out my problems and work through them > rather than drown them out with loud music or the TV. > > Did that make sense to anyone? Completely. And I completely agree. — ARQ Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in my name and a ‘c’ in front of lara to email me.
Response:
Good. I typed that kind of late and wasn’t sure I was making any sense. =) > > Did that make sense to anyone? >Completely. And I completely agree. >– >ARQ >Add a dot on each side of the ‘r’ in
Shana shaynuh…@aol.com Visit the web site created for alt.support.ocd! http://members.aol.com/shaynuh512/page1.html I’m so sick of this roller coaster ride…I want my ticket back!!!
Response:
im suffering from following phobias…. Androphobia and Gynephobia: Fear or men/women Peradophobia: Fear of bald people Aulodysomophobia: Fear of one that has a vile odour Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Aphenphosmphobia: Fear of being touched Anuptaphobia: Fear of staying single Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Autophobia: Fear of one’s self its NOT fear off being alone………. its fear off YOURSELF Autophobia: Fear of one’s self It is a little unusual how people can be afraid of themselves, but as autophobiacs have proved, people can be. Sometimes people can be afraid of their own feelings and thoughts; so much so that they can scare themselves into not being able to think about personal things. Depressing and scary, isn’t it? when u cant bare or instinctivly back up when some1 toutches or WANTS 2 toutch u, or comes close 2 u in ANY way… then your suffering from this, as do i! WHY do we feel this way? coz we think ourselves not WORTHY 4 whomever it =, u got a VERY low selfesteem then, and this phobia = caused by SEVERE depression, hidden or obvious… cures 4 this i have not found, coz im not seeing a phychiatrist, simply coz i can deal with it myself, im a loner :-/ besides that, im not medically insured 4 this, and im poor so i cannot afford phychiatric help, but however….. i do want 2 take medicine 4 this…. but i do NOT know whitch kind off medicine and whether u need a doctors description 4 it, or any stuff like that…. its VERY difficult 4 me IF i fall in love & all with some1, simply coz u think your not good enough then 4 them & all :-/ so after a while u try 2 dump them, while thats not want u want & all, but u think that your just not good enough 4 them, etc. etc. etc. and this continues on & on & on, and the more… the lower your selfesteem goes & the bigger your phobia gets :-/ i dont visit this site mutch, but if some1 would like 2 help me sure they can email me at docraver1…@fastmail.fm
Response:
im suffering from following phobias…. Androphobia and Gynephobia: Fear or men/women Peradophobia: Fear of bald people Aulodysomophobia: Fear of one that has a vile odour Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Aphenphosmphobia: Fear of being touched Anuptaphobia: Fear of staying single Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Autophobia: Fear of one’s self Autophobia: Fear of one’s self its NOT fear off being alone………. its fear off YOURSELF Autophobia: Fear of one’s self It is a little unusual how people can be afraid of themselves, but as autophobiacs have proved, people can be. Sometimes people can be afraid of their own feelings and thoughts; so much so that they can scare themselves into not being able to think about personal things. Depressing and scary, isn’t it? when u cant bare or instinctivly back up when some1 toutches or WANTS 2 toutch u, or comes close 2 u in ANY way… then your suffering from this, as do i! WHY do we feel this way? coz we think ourselves not WORTHY 4 whomever it =, u got a VERY low selfesteem then, and this phobia = caused by SEVERE depression, hidden or obvious… cures 4 this i have not found, coz im not seeing a phychiatrist, simply coz i can deal with it myself, im a loner :-/ besides that, im not medically insured 4 this, and im poor so i cannot afford phychiatric help, but however….. i do want 2 take medicine 4 this…. but i do NOT know whitch kind off medicine and whether u need a doctors description 4 it, or any stuff like that…. its VERY difficult 4 me IF i fall in love & all with some1, simply coz u think your not good enough then 4 them & all :-/ so after a while u try 2 dump them, while thats not want u want & all, but u think that your just not good enough 4 them, etc. etc. etc. and this continues on & on & on, and the more… the lower your selfesteem goes & the bigger your phobia gets :-/
. The other issue with mailorder is "USA" vs. "gray market" equipment. Just be careful what you’re buying. Later, Joe — Joe and Jackie Armstrong Arvada, CO – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – After reading a number of reviews, having visited discussion groups such as this one, and actually handling both a Nikon N70 and a Cannon Elan II, I have decided to go with the N70. My question now is what is the best place to buy the camera from? Would it be better to buy mailorder or by just walking into a store. Any suggestions about good places to buy will be much appreciated. Thanks!