Lonely Loneliness

Power

Question:

"F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message <news:408eedfd$0$22849$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… > A Human Being wrote: > > Do you feel powerful only when you feel suicidal ? If so why and if > > not why? >     There’s always so much pressure on me all the time. My superego is such > a tyrant with myself.

So its yourself, not anyone else. Were you always this way ? What kind of a job are you in now? > He never lets me have fun or relax. When I try to > rebel against Him, the best I can do is to do nothing at all (everything has > to be done perfectly, so if I do nothing, it’s not too bad), but still, He’s > there telling me all the time that I’m a criminal for being lazy and > procrastinating.

What kind of childhood did you have? Was it a very strict upbringing? Set rules and lifestyle ? > So there is no real escape. Often, the only choice seems > suicide.

Are you sure? You would rather end your life than try and curb a few undesirable habits of yours ? Your life is so unimportant to you ? But not today (today I’ve let Him win, so I’ve been busy doing > perfect things, so He’s not too unhappy with me today) >  (thanks for caring)

You’re welcome … and thanks for answering my questions.

Response:

Oh my fucking god I think I just found out why I have been so depressed. I have to see if this is it, if it is that is soo gay.

Response:

>Oh my fucking god I think I just found out why I have been so >depressed.

  Took you that  long to figure out why your ass was depredssed ? duh – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have to see if this is it, if it is that is soo gay.

Response:

Oh I was wrong… damn. I guess I’m actually crazier than I thought before… I have social problems, body dysmorhpic disorder, some sex related shit, and a whole lot more shit. I need to get some therapy =(

Response:

>Oh I was wrong… damn. I guess I’m actually crazier than I thought >before… I have social problems, body dysmorhpic disorder, some sex >related shit, and a whole lot more shit. I need to get some therapy =(

 Never under-estimate how crazy you are. Most in here have social problems, sex related shit (not getting any, never had any, not getting enough), join the club.

Response:

I seriously suffer from sever sexual addiction, no kidding. Beyond what you could comprehend methinks if you haven’t experienced it.

Response:

—–BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE—– Hash: SHA1 In article <408eedfd$0$22849$626a1…@news.free.fr> F.r.a.n.k. <v…@vidi.vici> wrote: >There’s always so much pressure on me all the time. My superego is such >a tyrant with myself. He never lets me have fun or relax. When I try to >rebel against Him, the best I can do is to do nothing at all >(everything has to be done perfectly, so if I do nothing, it’s not too >bad), but still, He’s there telling me all the time that I’m a criminal >for being lazy and procrastinating. So there is no real escape. Often, >the only choice seems suicide. But not today (today I’ve let Him win, >so I’ve been busy doing perfect things, so He’s not too unhappy with me >today)

I couldn’t ever relate to the intensity of your superego’s fascism, but I noticed mine go into a corner and sulk ever since at one stage I was feeling really, really down and sort of "let go" on a few things for a while. Next time you pee and it sprays a bit onto your leg, laugh and leave it there, then go out into the streets of Paris in shorts, brandishing your "disgusting" personal hygiene. Or scoop up the dog’s poop with your bare hands. Bite into a cherry, see the maggot, then eat the rest, maggot and all. You’ll notice the world will be just fine, in spite of your cosmic sins of doing disgusting stuff. – — http://voyager.abite.co.za/~berndj/ (up again for now – yay!) —–BEGIN PGP SIGNATURE—– Version: GnuPG v1.0.4 (GNU/Linux) Comment: For info see http://www.gnupg.org iD8DBQFAj46//FmLrNfLpjMRAjYZAJ4xiXn29MEVgF4FJULkY0IEDhZTLgCghkx7 VHdCbnKUyAJlXstXKs8ue3Y= =SEV8 —–END PGP SIGNATURE—–

Response:

"ImJustOne" <the.color.of.televis…@tuned.to.a.dead.channel.com> wrote in message news:fTuic.37115$G_.6895@nwrddc02.gnilink.net… > One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the thought that > the people that knew me and treated me like nothing would laugh and say meh, > what a loser, figures that’s how he would end up.  Staying alive and doing > something with my life is a way of giving the middle finger to all those > who’ve knocked me down.

I’d like to live because I’d like to continue enjoying life. I think it’s fun.  It’s quite an ADVENTURE. Laife

Response:

On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 23:46:26 GMT, "Steve Spry" <23…@unavailable.com> wrote: >Ahhh, so you’ve never dealt with your loneliness? Hmmm. >You know what they say, you are no longer afraid of death when you reconcile >with death. >What about loneliness?

What? I dunno what u meen? Watch my mental breakdown as it happens. http://mspoopiepants.blogspot.com/ I’m posting…be very afraid. http://www.lolfun.com/flash_0603/funky_d.cfm Tank goodness for usenet to keep track of my major life events. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." –Mahatma Gandhi If anything I’ve said seems useful to you, I’m glad.  If not, don’t worry.  Just forget all about it.  His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Response:

"Ms Pnoopie Pnats" <myblowuprejecte…@blooups.com> wrote in message news:8ist80db118sttvkvuq2uud4oh4me184fk@4ax.com… > What? I dunno what u meen?

When you are no longer afraid to be alone .. that is the moment you become strong.  More POWERFUL than you can IMAGINE. You need someone to show you the way.  I learned these things when I was initiated into a higher order of sex magick circle.  Lots of GROUP SEX. Really a wonderful experience for everyone, the men and the women in there. It’s been three weeks since I had sex and I am overworked at the office.  I am getting cranky.  The women there are really INCREDIBLE .. UNINHIBITED … FREE. I need to make the next scheduled "meeting".  heehee Laife Laife

Response:

"Steve Spry" <23…@unavailable.com> wrote in message

news:yxCjc.2238$rF.1631@newssvr24.news.prodigy.com… > The women there are really INCREDIBLE .. UNINHIBITED … > FREE.

Obvious this description leaves out all members of the OTO. har har har har Laife

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->A Human Being wrote: >> "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message >> <news:408d4769$0$20159$636a15ce@news.free.fr>… >> > A Human Being wrote: >> > > "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message >> > > <news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… >> > > > When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. >> > > In what way do you feel powerful and why ? >> >     The ability to *choose*; for once. >> You are not allowed/do not have the freedom to make your own choices >> in your everyday life? >> > > At last what? >> >  At last being powerful i.e. being able to make a choice. >> Do you feel powerful only when you feel suicidal ? If so why and if >> not why? >    There’s always so much pressure on me all the time. My superego is such >a tyrant with myself. He never lets me have fun or relax.

  You need to loosen up. Maybe you are setting up very high standards to be a perfect person and screwing up life. >When I try to >rebel against Him, the best I can do is to do nothing at all (everything has >to be done perfectly, so if I do nothing, it’s not too bad), but still, He’s >there telling me all the time that I’m a criminal for being lazy and >procrastinating.

  If you are single and lonely, who cares if you dont get things done on time. Its not like you are short of time, you have all the time in the world all to yourself. Darn, that is one of the great advantages of being shy and lonely. On a weekend I plan on getting 10 things done and Iam happy if I get one thing done. Its not the end of the world, things can be done later. Why finish something today if it can be put off until tomorrow ? >So there is no real escape. Often, the only choice seems suicide.

  Maybe you need to change the way you think. Get rid of stupid super-ego, he is ruining your life. You are a normal human being, they are not meant to be perfect. Its all the little imperfections in people that makes them interesting. Whats the fun if every person you met were perfect ? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->But not today (today I’ve let Him win, so I’ve been busy doing >perfect things, so He’s not too unhappy with me today) >    (thanks for caring)

Response:

Interesting.  Maybe you should give him an asswhoopin’? "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message

news:408eedfd$0$22849$626a14ce@news.free.fr… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->     There’s always so much pressure on me all the time. My superego is such > a tyrant with myself. He never lets me have fun or relax. When I try to > rebel against Him, the best I can do is to do nothing at all (everything has > to be done perfectly, so if I do nothing, it’s not too bad), but still, He’s > there telling me all the time that I’m a criminal for being lazy and > procrastinating. So there is no real escape. Often, the only choice seems > suicide. But not today (today I’ve let Him win, so I’ve been busy doing > perfect things, so He’s not too unhappy with me today) >     (thanks for caring)

Response:

Ahhh, so you’ve never dealt with your loneliness? Hmmm. You know what they say, you are no longer afraid of death when you reconcile with death. What about loneliness? "Ms Pnoopie Pnats" <myblowuprejecte…@blooups.com> wrote in message news:qp7l801lbg565r0elqdk7ep7lknlf7uohj@4ax.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> True, at werk I am teh happiest persin u eber met > Watch my mental breakdown as it happens. > http://mspoopiepants.blogspot.com/ > I’m posting…be very afraid. > http://www.lolfun.com/flash_0603/funky_d.cfm > Tank goodness for usenet to keep track of my major life events. > "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." > –Mahatma Gandhi > If anything I’ve said seems useful to you, I’m glad.  If not, don’t worry.

Just forget all about it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->  His Holiness > the Dalai Lama

Response:

"F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message <news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… > When I’m suicidal I feel powerful.

In what way do you feel powerful and why ? > At last.

At last what?

Response:

A Human Being wrote: > "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message > <news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… > > When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. > In what way do you feel powerful and why ?

    The ability to *choose*; for once. > > At last. > At last what?

    At last being powerful i.e. being able to make a choice. — Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won’t seem to heal This pain is just too real There’s just too much that time cannot erase    - Evanescence – My Immortal –

Response:

"F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message <news:408d4769$0$20159$636a15ce@news.free.fr>… > A Human Being wrote: > > "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message > > <news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… > > > When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. > > In what way do you feel powerful and why ? >     The ability to *choose*; for once.

You are not allowed/do not have the freedom to make your own choices in your everyday life? > > At last what? >  At last being powerful i.e. being able to make a choice.

Do you feel powerful only when you feel suicidal ? If so why and if not why?

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -A Human Being wrote: > "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message > <news:408d4769$0$20159$636a15ce@news.free.fr>… > > A Human Being wrote: > > > "F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message > > > <news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr>… > > > > When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. > > > In what way do you feel powerful and why ? > >     The ability to *choose*; for once. > You are not allowed/do not have the freedom to make your own choices > in your everyday life? > > > At last what? > >  At last being powerful i.e. being able to make a choice. > Do you feel powerful only when you feel suicidal ? If so why and if > not why?

    There’s always so much pressure on me all the time. My superego is such a tyrant with myself. He never lets me have fun or relax. When I try to rebel against Him, the best I can do is to do nothing at all (everything has to be done perfectly, so if I do nothing, it’s not too bad), but still, He’s there telling me all the time that I’m a criminal for being lazy and procrastinating. So there is no real escape. Often, the only choice seems suicide. But not today (today I’ve let Him win, so I’ve been busy doing perfect things, so He’s not too unhappy with me today)     (thanks for caring)

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -DudeNEPhx1971 wrote: >>>     When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last. >> One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the >> thought that the people that knew me and treated me like nothing >> would laugh and say meh, what a loser, figures that’s how he would >> end up.  Staying alive and doing something with my life is a way of >> giving the middle finger to all those who’ve knocked me down. >> There would be one less nice guy in this world of jerks. >  It takes time to get over the "what will others think of me" mode. > Most of the time, others arent thinking about your life, they have > their own shit going on in life. Do things for yourself, you should > be happy at things you do. You can be single and alone and still have >   a happy life. A happy life is not measured by the number of friends > you have or if you have a girlf/wife/kids. One can get disappointed > with their life if they compare it with other’s life. And you dont > really know whats going on in their life, you only see the happy > side. Things do change over the course of time, you will have more > people in your life. Just be patient, enjoy each day. > cheers

Makes good sense to me. The things we have or have accomplished we tend to take for granted. For me that’s what spirituality is about – when anything becomes whole, it is [tended to be] perceived as nothing/unremarkable. And everything comes from nothing. – Michaela

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>>>     When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last. >>> One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the >>> thought that the people that knew me and treated me like nothing >>> would laugh and say meh, what a loser, figures that’s how he would >>> end up.  Staying alive and doing something with my life is a way of >>> giving the middle finger to all those who’ve knocked me down. >>> There would be one less nice guy in this world of jerks. >>  It takes time to get over the "what will others think of me" mode. >> Most of the time, others arent thinking about your life, they have >> their own shit going on in life. Do things for yourself, you should >> be happy at things you do. You can be single and alone and still have >>   a happy life. A happy life is not measured by the number of friends >> you have or if you have a girlf/wife/kids.

A month ago I posted a thread on here saying happiness is measured by relationship with friends and loved ones or something…Ooops OK that post was about happiness with reference to money/status and relationships with friends/loved ones. <case closed> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->One can get disappointed >> with their life if they compare it with other’s life. And you dont >> really know whats going on in their life, you only see the happy >> side. Things do change over the course of time, you will have more >> people in your life. Just be patient, enjoy each day. >> cheers >Makes good sense to me. >The things we have or have accomplished we tend to take for >granted. For me that’s what spirituality is about – when anything >becomes whole, it is [tended to be] perceived as nothing/unremarkable. >And everything comes from nothing. >- Michaela

Response:

>>     When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last. >One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the thought that >the people that knew me and treated me like nothing would laugh and say meh, >what a loser, figures that’s how he would end up.  Staying alive and doing >something with my life is a way of giving the middle finger to all those >who’ve knocked me down. >There would be one less nice guy in this world of jerks.

 It takes time to get over the "what will others think of me" mode. Most of the time, others arent thinking about your life, they have their own shit going on in life. Do things for yourself, you should be happy at things you do. You can be single and alone and still have a happy life.   A happy life is not measured by the number of friends you have or if you have a girlf/wife/kids. One can get disappointed with their life if they compare it with other’s life. And you dont really know whats going on in their life, you only see the happy side. Things do change over the course of time, you will have more people in your life. Just be patient, enjoy each day. cheers

Response:

On 24 Apr 2004 16:35:01 GMT, dudenephx1…@aol.com (DudeNEPhx1971) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>>     When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last. >>One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the thought that >>the people that knew me and treated me like nothing would laugh and say meh, >>what a loser, figures that’s how he would end up.  Staying alive and doing >>something with my life is a way of giving the middle finger to all those >>who’ve knocked me down. >>There would be one less nice guy in this world of jerks. > It takes time to get over the "what will others think of me" mode. Most of the >time, others arent thinking about your life, they have their own shit going on >in life. Do things for yourself, you should be happy at things you do. You can >be single and alone and still have a happy life. >  A happy life is not measured by the number of friends you have or if you have >a girlf/wife/kids. One can get disappointed with their life if they compare it >with other’s life. And you dont really know whats going on in their life, you >only see the happy side. Things do change over the course of time, you will >have more people in your life. Just be patient, enjoy each day. >cheers

True, at werk I am teh happiest persin u eber met Watch my mental breakdown as it happens. http://mspoopiepants.blogspot.com/ I’m posting…be very afraid. http://www.lolfun.com/flash_0603/funky_d.cfm Tank goodness for usenet to keep track of my major life events. "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." –Mahatma Gandhi If anything I’ve said seems useful to you, I’m glad.  If not, don’t worry.  Just forget all about it.  His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Response:

    When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last. — Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me These wounds won’t seem to heal This pain is just too real There’s just too much that time cannot erase    - Evanescence – My Immortal –

Response:

frank said >    When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last.

An odd inversion. If suicide flits across my mind, it’s because I feel like the world’s power is too strong for me. Actually, I always feel like that, so why am I talkinf about it? — http://www.cassowarybuttons.com <— Buttons for everyone. My blogs: http://buttonmakersball.blogspot.com <–button making http://animeg.blogspot.com <–rants on everything

Response:

"F.r.a.n.k." <v…@vidi.vici> wrote in message

news:4089fe66$0$27010$626a14ce@news.free.fr… >     When I’m suicidal I feel powerful. At last.

One of the things that keeps me from committing suicide is the thought that the people that knew me and treated me like nothing would laugh and say meh, what a loser, figures that’s how he would end up.  Staying alive and doing something with my life is a way of giving the middle finger to all those who’ve knocked me down. There would be one less nice guy in this world of jerks. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Your face it haunts > My once pleasant dreams > Your voice it chased away > All the sanity in me > These wounds won’t seem to heal > This pain is just too real > There’s just too much that time cannot erase >    - Evanescence – My Immortal –

Response:

Filed under: Fight Loneliness

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