10 things I hate hearing

Question:

"Bill Rossi" <billro…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:3JFk7.5098$Uf1.388046@bgtnsc06-news.ops.worldnet.att.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Darkfalz" <ab…@microsoft.com> wrote in message > news:3b930181$0$20947$7f31c96c@news01.syd.optusnet.com.au… > > "adora g shumway" <ad…@titanicstreams.com> wrote in message > > news:3B92B77C.AB617BF@titanicstreams.com… > > > Here is a list of things I’m sick of hearing in conversations when > > > talking about my loneliness. From therapists to strangers to "family and > > > friends", if I ever hear these phrases again I’ll flip out! > > > 10. You’ll find someone when you least expect it > > > 9. Just go out and meet people > > > 8. You just aren’t looking in the right places > > > 7. You’re to sad > > > 6. Cheer Up > > > 5. Just talk to someone at a place you like to go to > > > 4. Try going to new places > > > 3. Not with that attitude….. > > > 2. Life is not fair > > > 1. You are to hard on yourself > > > if ya got any more, feel free to add them to this list! > > (from women) > > He’s soo cute > > He’s hot > > He’s gorgeous! > > I don’t care about looks > > My boyfriend may be hot, but I’m only with him for his personality > > Ok, the last one is more funny than anything else. > The one I hate is "he’s nice". I’m convinced it’s the default compliment > when people can’t think of anything else positive to say.

It’s worse when it’s "he’s nice but… no thanks" or something along those lines. That’s what I was told she said when I told my friend to let the girl I liked know about it… Why say somebody’s nice then in the same breath that you don’t consider them good enough to get to know better?

Response:

Yeah, it’s pretty hard to hear the truth. -B – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -On Sun, 2 Sep 2001, adora g shumway wrote: > Here is a list of things I’m sick of hearing in conversations when > talking about my loneliness. From therapists to strangers to "family and > friends", if I ever hear these phrases again I’ll flip out! > 10. You’ll find someone when you least expect it > 9. Just go out and meet people > 8. You just aren’t looking in the right places > 7. You’re to sad > 6. Cheer Up > 5. Just talk to someone at a place you like to go to > 4. Try going to new places > 3. Not with that attitude….. > 2. Life is not fair > 1. You are to hard on yourself > if ya got any more, feel free to add them to this list! > a.s. > my chat, http://www.titanicstreams.com/chatroom/

Response:

adora g shumway <ad…@titanicstreams.com> wrote: > Here is a list of things I’m sick of hearing in conversations when > talking about my loneliness. From therapists to strangers to "family and > friends", if I ever hear these phrases again I’ll flip out!

11. You’re such a great guy, I can’t believe you can’t find anyone! (as she rushes off to have hot sex with her boyfriend). 12. Replace "great guy" above with "nice guy" (ugh). — Ralph

Response:

"Darkfalz" <ab…@microsoft.com> wrote in message

news:3b930181$0$20947$7f31c96c@news01.syd.optusnet.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "adora g shumway" <ad…@titanicstreams.com> wrote in message > news:3B92B77C.AB617BF@titanicstreams.com… > > Here is a list of things I’m sick of hearing in conversations when > > talking about my loneliness. From therapists to strangers to "family and > > friends", if I ever hear these phrases again I’ll flip out! > > 10. You’ll find someone when you least expect it > > 9. Just go out and meet people > > 8. You just aren’t looking in the right places > > 7. You’re to sad > > 6. Cheer Up > > 5. Just talk to someone at a place you like to go to > > 4. Try going to new places > > 3. Not with that attitude….. > > 2. Life is not fair > > 1. You are to hard on yourself > > if ya got any more, feel free to add them to this list! > (from women) > He’s soo cute > He’s hot > He’s gorgeous! > I don’t care about looks > My boyfriend may be hot, but I’m only with him for his personality > Ok, the last one is more funny than anything else.

The one I hate is "he’s nice". I’m convinced it’s the default compliment when people can’t think of anything else positive to say.

Response:

"adora g shumway" <ad…@titanicstreams.com> wrote in message news:3B92B77C.AB617BF@titanicstreams.com… > Here is a list of things I’m sick of hearing in conversations when > talking about my loneliness. From therapists to strangers to "family and > friends", if I ever hear these phrases again I’ll flip out!

OK, here’s my take on these.. note: I’m not trying to say that these cliches are right, but they’re not all wrong… it’s just a matter of what you take out of it.. well..umm….. anywhoo…. > 10. You’ll find someone when you least expect it

well thats kinda true.. it happened to me at the start of the year.. I met a friend of a friend online (totally coincidental that she was a friend of a friend – small world!) and it almost turned into something romantic… I was in the middle of a whole "argh, I don’t give a sh!t about love/companionship" phase, and I wasn’t even looking. I never expected it! > 9. Just go out and meet people

mmm.. I don’t go out with the aim to MEET PEOPLE, (hell, sometimes first impression-making freaks me out!) I go out to be out of the house – these 4 walls get kinda boring after a while… if I meet people, I meet people.. sowhatbigdealwhocares? > 8. You just aren’t looking in the right places

Ahh, but surely you’re not SUPPOSED to be looking? apparently, if you look like you’re looking (or at least look like you’re looking hard), any member of the opposite sex will run the other way? *shrugs* > 7. You’re to sad > 6. Cheer Up

meh.. they have a point with this one.. if I’m in the dumps I just imagine the most horrible things possible happening to people who give me that advice – that thought cheers me up (black humour is such a joy! If you’re serious about it, find happiness in something – it doesn’t have to be a person.. actually best if it’s not…. get a hobby, go for walks, paint/draw/write, join a library and read books… ANYTHING to broaden your horizons and entertain your mind.. do it yourself… well, it works for me.. > 5. Just talk to someone at a place you like to go to

reply: "You mean a complete stranger…? oh sure… that REALLY shows I’m not desperate… ;-)" (actually, thats why it’s good to hang out with friends.. heck, even one close friend… you always have SOMEONE to make idle chatter with without worrying that it’s a pick-up… bonus if the friend is a member of the opposite sex – one that you’re NOT attracted to romantically… if you’re really keen to find members of the opposite sex, a good idea is to have platonic friends of that sex – you learn more about them, and it’s a source of contacts and introductions…) > 4. Try going to new places

Yeah, fair point… hell, even if there’s no-one there, you might find a nice place! if it’s somewhere quiet and natural, you may want to go back to relax , have a picnic, enjoy the scenery, or have a good drive or walk for fitness sake… if it’s a new suburb, or street or city, you might like to take in the sights.. do some window shopping.. whatever! > 3. Not with that attitude…..

reply: "f*** you.. I LIKE my pessimism, it’s based on life experience…" No, but honestly pessimism is good when it’s not stopping you from doing things… if it IS stopping you from getting out and doing things, it’s a drag (hell I know that)… you just have to do what you feel up to doing… and if it’s an ANGRY attitude thats setting you back, you’ve got to look at it and see how it’s blocking you from enjoying stuff….. > 2. Life is not fair

reply: "well, DUHH…" …and their point is? > 1. You are to hard on yourself

Well, it’s easy to be hard on yourself if you’re a perfectionist, or if you look across to your peers (classmates, fellow graduates, workmates etc) and compare yourself to them, or if you have fears that hold you back.. But it IS OK to pat yourself on the back for something – ANYTHING that you feel is an achievement. People are always so damn keen to fire-up the knocking machine when things go wrong (and find scapegoats).. but good deeds are never aknowledged enough. Sadly, thats the way of the world When you’ve had people criticise you (parents, teachers, bosses, "friends") that internal voice starts criticising too.. and it takes time to stop that. Just say "I’m trying to be easier on myself" GOnz

Response:

19. It’s all in your head. `___

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