Can anyone help me
Question:
I just lost my mother this past Thursday to cancer. She had adenocarcinoma of the lung. I feel so lost without her I don’t know how I will go on now. I know I can and I will go on, but I just don’t clearly see how I can. I loved her so much, and I still do. I wish someone could help this awful pain and loneliness go away. I know it’s not possible to take it away, but I just it was easier. I watched her struggle for every breath she took for so long, and it comforts me some to know she is in a better place and she isn’t suffering or in pain any more, but I just wish I could have her back wih me. I love her so much and I can’t be with her. Sometimes it feels like life is so unfair. Can anyone who has been through this already help me cope. can you give me any advice other than what every one else has and help me…????
Response:
My heart goes out to you Stacy, I will pray for you and your family for comfort. It’s times like these that I feel we really need to turn to God for he is the one who will sustain us. Tony
Response:
I am so sorry that you had this loss, Stacy. I know words will never replace the comfort you felt in your mothers arms. If there is anything to be learned through a process like this it is that life is precious and fleeting. Every day we have here is a gift with no assurance of another. Try to find a way to brighten someone else’s day today. Start with something small and easy and watch what happens. Some of the bumper stickers call them random acts of kindness. An example I did was when the guy came up to my window to sell flowers at the stoplight, I bought some and had him give them to the person in the car in front of me. You should have seen them trying to turn their heads around and figure out who I was! The guy who sold the flowers got a real kick out of it and everybody seems to have had a brighter day for my 3.00 investment. I know this is a simple suggestion, but I really believe if you involve yourself in helping others, you’ll see how blessed you are. There will still be crying days but they will get fewer and fewer. We’ll be praying for you, Bill
I just lost my mother this past Thursday to cancer. She had adenocarcinoma of the lung. I feel so lost without her I don’t know how I will go on now. I know I can and I will go on, but I just don’t clearly see how I can. I loved her so much, and I still do. I wish someone could help this awful pain and loneliness go away. I know it’s not possible to take it away, but I just it was easier. I watched her struggle for every breath she took for so long, and it comforts me some to know she is in a better place and she isn’t suffering or in pain any more, but I just wish I could have her back wih me. I love her so much and I can’t be with her. Sometimes it feels like life is so unfair. Can anyone who has been through this already help me cope. can you give me any advice other than what every one else has and help me…????
Response:
I lost my sister on Easter Sunday of last year to the same thing. I was with her from the day of diagnoses to the last day. I went to the chemo and radiation with her. So I know what a struggle this has been for you. We had some good times and we had some bad times. But we went through it together. The rest of the family finally got involved towards the end and we had great people from hospice with us. They really helped us deal with our emotions. Its just something that is going to take time to get through. You will cry a lot, go a head and cry and don’t feel bad about doing it. I cried in a staff meeting at work. I needed to cry and while that may have not been the best place for it, no one ever said anything about it. They knew I was under a lot of stress. Cry and laugh think of the good times and the bad times they are your memories. Don’t feel guilty about any of them. Things will get easier with time.
Response:
These help me: KEEP FIGHTING One of the most difficult things everyone has to learn is that for your entire life you must "Keep Fighting" and adjusting if you hope to survive. No matter who you are or what your position, you must keep fighting for whatever it is you desire to achieve. If someone is not aware or this contest and expects otherwise, then constant disappointment occurs. People who fail sometimes do not realize that the simple answer to everyday achievement is to "KEEP FIGHTING." HAPPINESS, HEALTH, and SUCCESS depends on the fighting spirit of each person. THE BIG THING IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS TO US IN LIFE – BUT WHAT WE DO ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS TO US. Written by George H. Allen – Chairman of the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. – Former coach of the Washington Redskins. Willie Nelson’s CD "Yesterdays Wine" as well
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I just lost my mother this past Thursday to cancer. She had adenocarcinoma of the lung. I feel so lost without her I don’t know how I will go on now. I know I can and I will go on, but I just don’t clearly see how I can. I loved her so much, and I still do. I wish someone could help this awful pain and loneliness go away. I know it’s not possible to take it away, but I just it was easier. I watched her struggle for every breath she took for so long, and it comforts me some to know she is in a better place and she isn’t suffering or in pain any more, but I just wish I could have her back wih me. I love her so much and I can’t be with her. Sometimes it feels like life is so unfair. Can anyone who has been through this already help me cope. can you give me any advice other than what every one else has and help me…????
Response:
Stacy, I have an idea what it is like. It has been a week and two days since my wife died. The funeral is behind me. I have moved my bed back into the bedroom – though not in the same place we had it for the last six years. I am trying to get the house back into shape. When hospice moved in, things got shoved everywhere. My wife was a packrat, and if I am to get this place fixed up I need to go through her many stacks of newspaper clippings, old magazines, outdated catalogs, and things she thought she might find useful someday, and get rid of it. I am trying to find stuffed animals – we collected them – some of my favorites are missing, including a dolphin I got at Shedd Aquarium in Chicago our last trip together. Funny, I was the one with the stuffed animals when we got married. I got her started collecting. Her funeral was precisely 12 years and 6 months after our wedding. She died exactly 1 month after we called in hospice, and exactly 6 months after her diagnosis. I notice things like that, wish I didn’t. When I read your post, I wanted to say something to help. I honestly don’t know what to say that others haven’t. There is no advice for this sort of thing – we all handle it differently. Your pain as as personal and unique as you and as your relationship with your mother was. The only thing I do know is that it does lessen with time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, as they say. I do have a thought – try to locate some free webspace – I don’t know how that works with webtv. Maybe you can make a small memorial to your mother, let the whole world know that someone special is gone. Otherwise – talk about it. Some say that only makes it worse, but I don’t believe it. Friends, or if that’s no good (sometimes friends just make things worse) a grief counselor. Look – the wound is very fresh. It will be agony for a while. You will be lost for a while. But you will survive. Find something, some activity, that makes you feel really alive, really real – and do it with a vengeance. To remind yourself that you are still there, that somewhere in the pain there is a living you, healing. I don’t know if any of this helps – I don’t even know if it is helping me. But there it is, my 2 pennies worth. Allan Moore Hawk Widner Fidelis ad Mortuus
Response:
I am so sorry for your loss, Stacy. I lost my mother in similar circumstances. I found that well meaning advice, from helpful friends, was appreciated, but it didn’t help. They hadn’t felt the same kind of pain. Just remember that you must take it one day at a time, and that time is an ally. It will get easier. Have you thought about joining a support group? You can find several through your local community organizations, or even ask your local hospital. Sometimes it is a great help to sit down face to face with other people who have shared your sad experience. You may even find a new friend. Then, you will eventually be comforting others, which will make you feel alot better. Good Luck…
Response:
Just lost my mom from the same thing~~ I try to focus on the positive~~ quality time together,she’s with my dad, healthy and strong….. I hope you can find peace with the memory of love that you shared. I find it helpful to look at our family pictures~~~ A grief group may be for you but do not deny yourself the tears and the pain, it will get better with time~~ Good luck, will keep yo in my prayers. p~~
Response:
Hi there, I lost my mom 5 years ago it was horrible and I am sorry to say still is there is nothing so sad or had as losing your mom. No one can take her place no one knows how you feel when you go to call her and can not. I always took my mom shopping I am lost without her I have this feeling when I see one bird no others around that is my sign and that is my peace feel she is with me at that moment I know it may sound strange but you need something to feel conected to and that does it for me I loved her very much I was one of 6 and I was number 5 so she was my friend alos. I will say a prayer for you but talk to her laugh and say thaks when something good comes your way maybe she was up there and saw and helped. Life is too short she was suffering she is not in pain you will meet again. God bless and so sorry for the worst lose of your life.
Response:
Filed under: Happiness Loneliness
Leave a Comment
XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
TrackBack URL | RSS feed for comments on this post.