Destiny
Question:
Some times destiny needs a kick in the ass. You could spend your life waiting for destiny. Make your own destiny. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -summer wrote in message <01bd45b1$872dde20$c04318d2@estelle>… >I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have >never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could >never imagine myself getting married…
Response:
Hey Pramod. Glad you answered back I’ve been checking in on the group daily just to check on how everything was going with Ric but havent had time to post anything.. >Yes, you are correct… this is the first time I’ve ever truly fallen for >somebody, thinking the whole time that it’s great, and then realizing, >that she didn’t feel the same way in the end. Yuck.
That sucks. I’ve never been in a relationship but there have been times with girls that I really liked that I was convinced they cared for me. It sucked when they didnt but your situation sounds even more painful. You were actually in a relationship with someone you really cared about and to have it end just like that. I feel for you. >Hmm… People say that to when you loved and lost, you should only think >of the good times that you had together, and move on. I’m finding the >whole thing very difficult now, because she still wants to be friends (we >were good friends before we even went out). I sorta wish I didn’t go out >with her, because then, I would have not have this disgusting feeling of >sorrow in my stomach.
Sounds almost like you wish the whole thing never happened. Not only because of the heartbreak you feel with the breakup but it also sounds like you feel the experience has poisoned the friendship you once had with her. Ive been thinking about the whole "loved and lost" thing. Maybe this is what they call a ‘character builder.’ It totally sux but once you survive it, you’re stronger for having gone thru it. While I’ll never go thru the same emotional pain that youre going through right now , I do have a big empty hole in my life knowing I never even have the chance to have someone. To go thru the pain with the knowlege that maybe there’s someone for me over the horizon. To know there’s at least some hope because someone has at least shown an interest in me. I realize thats probably not much consolation for you at this point but it’s something to think about. >Heh, you are correct, I didn’t mean just let go totally, you always have >to maintain some control over your own life.
Yep. With me, even though this one aspect of my life sucks, I’m trying my best to excell in other areas. In your case, I think you may need a little downtime from the whole relationship thing. Hard as it may be, try and immerse yourself in something you really enjoy doing to try and keep your mind off it. Putting the whole thing out of your mind may seem like a hopeless task, especially at first but keep plugging away. While I dont exactly have first hand experience in this, I’ve listened to plenty of people who were going thru similar situations. Believe me it DOES get better. I remember once I was totally in love with this one girl and was crushed when she turned me down. She was all I thought about and I didnt think I’d ever get over it. But you know what, I did. I have absolutely no feeling for her at all now. >Yes, I’m trying my best to believe this, but it’s very difficult. Does >anybody think it’s a good idea to try and stay friends with this girl? >Or move on to someone else? I’m not exactly looking for the next love of >my life, but I still don’t know if it’s worth it to be friends with this >girl again.
I wouldnt junk the whole friendship but I do think you need some time away from her so you can recover a bit. I know this doesnt seem possible now but you WILL get over her. Once youve had time to chill and let your feelings cool down again, then I hope you guys do become friends again. You may want to tell her that you do still value her friendship but you need some time away from her to regroup. >Ack… Even now, I caught myself sighing and thinking of her. You have >the same exact initials as she does. >.. Ick. :-
Last thing I want to do is dredge up any bad memories. Tell, you what. Just say the word and Ill change my signoff to something else. Hang in there. You’ve come to the right place if you need to talk. – signed, you know who….
Response:
Quotes for the week: >hmph…I wish my marriage had hit someone else!! >"Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons….for you are crunchy >and taste good with ketchup" >sionell
Thanks for the laugh, sionell. m.j.
Response:
On 3 Mar 1998, CATNIP3700 wrote: > Me neither. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never actively sought it out, when > I fall for someone (which luckily does not happen often!) and get rejected > (which always happens.) it really hurts.
Yes, you are correct… this is the first time I’ve ever truly fallen for somebody, thinking the whole time that it’s great, and then realizing, that she didn’t feel the same way in the end. Yuck. > Good to meet ya, Pramod!!
It’s good to meet you too. 
> So ‘ tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?? > I think that’s kind of like asking which is better : the electric chair or > lethal injection? > I imagine they both suck.
Hmm… People say that to when you loved and lost, you should only think of the good times that you had together, and move on. I’m finding the whole thing very difficult now, because she still wants to be friends (we were good friends before we even went out). I sorta wish I didn’t go out with her, because then, I would have not have this disgusting feeling of sorrow in my stomach. > I wouldnt want to put everything in the hand of "destiny" though. Destiny is > what "happens" to people who dont take control of their lives and it’s usually > not a pretty sight. On the other hand, it’s good to acknowlege that there are
Heh, you are correct, I didn’t mean just let go totally, you always have to maintain some control over your own life. > >I thought that I had found somebody special, but I’m realizing that you > >can’t find love, it finds you. > Very cool attitude. If something comes my way, excellent. Until then I’m gonna > try and be as happy as a can without trying to worry about it.
Yes, I’m trying my best to believe this, but it’s very difficult. Does anybody think it’s a good idea to try and stay friends with this girl? Or move on to someone else? I’m not exactly looking for the next love of my life, but I still don’t know if it’s worth it to be friends with this girl again. > m.j.
Ack… Even now, I caught myself sighing and thinking of her. You have the same exact initials as she does, MJ….. Ick. :- Pramod Gumpeni
Response:
I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could never imagine myself getting married…
Response:
On 2 Mar 1998 08:02:23 GMT, "summer" <summ…@geocities.com> wrote: >I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have >never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could >never imagine myself getting married…
Me neither. I guess cause I was a really ugly kid. And it kind of stuck. I believe in destiny too. In my case, destiny is supposedly going to SMACK ME IN THE FACE!! Nooooo I wont go out to date anyone. I wont go looking. She (destiny) is supposed to walk up to me and rip my clothes off, make love to me, and then say," will you marry me?". LOL!!!! I SUCK!!! What the hell am I laughing at???
Response:
On 2 Mar 1998, summer wrote: > I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have > never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could > never imagine myself getting married…
This is the first time I think I’ve posted to this group. I just found it last week, and have been reading it voraciously… Basically, I fell in love with a girl that didn’t love me back… and she dumped me (after three months) and started dating someone else, that she felt was "more" promising, and had "more" in common… I just felt robbed, because I feel like I wasn’t given a chance. The feelings of loneliness that I felt last week were almost insurmountable, and I felt like I was slipping into depression. Anyway, I think that destiny might be the best way to go. The weirdest things happen when you least expect them… I thought that I had found somebody special, but I’m realizing that you can’t find love, it finds you. Peace, Love, Happiness… Pramod Gumpeni
Response:
On 2 Mar 1998 08:02:23 GMT, "summer" <summ…@geocities.com> wrote: >I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have >never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could >never imagine myself getting married…
It’s been argued in my philosophical circles that love will hit you when you least expect it. Now that’s not my entire belief but I don’t think you can find love either. As for marriage, join the club, I’m sure it’ll hit me whenever I walk up/down the asile. Nice to meet you summer.
Response:
On 2 Mar 1998 03:24:00 -0700, Libery…@aol.com (Larld) wrote: >On 2 Mar 1998 08:02:23 GMT, "summer" <summ…@geocities.com> wrote: >>I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have >>never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could >>never imagine myself getting married… >Me neither. I guess cause I was a really ugly kid. And it kind of >stuck. >I believe in destiny too. In my case, destiny is supposedly going to >SMACK ME IN THE FACE!! >Nooooo I wont go out to date anyone. I wont go looking. She >(destiny) is supposed to walk up to me and rip my clothes off, make >love to me, and then say," will you marry me?". LOL!!!! I SUCK!!! >What the hell am I laughing at???
Lawerence, I’m not laughing either. First, Summer identified herself as chinese. If she is from China, I’m not completely sure how thier social ettiquette would interpret your post, you may scare her away. She can speak for herself, but I’m positive you never thought about it. Your point is valid though, how can you meet someone in today’s society, if you don’t make yourself know in social circles. You can’t. Realize that this is a social circle, and you are not making a positive impression of yourself, all we can see is a hurting one. Wish we could help. Realize here we will make no judgement of you based on your looks.
Response:
I looked up from painting my toenails purple to find dadais…@SPAMKILLER.hotmail.com (Watcher) snuck in and left *THIS* on the mantleshelf: >It’s been argued in my philosophical circles that love will hit you >when you least expect it. Now that’s not my entire belief but I don’t >think you can find love either. As for marriage, join the club, I’m >sure it’ll hit me whenever I walk up/down the asile.
hmph…I wish my marriage had hit someone else!! sionell "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons….for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup"
Response:
>On 2 Mar 1998, summer wrote: >> I have always believed in destiny..and for all through my life, I have >> never gone way out to look for someone special in my life..and I could >> never imagine myself getting married…
Me neither. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never actively sought it out, when I fall for someone (which luckily does not happen often!) and get rejected (which always happens.) it really hurts. On the other hand, I know people who’s whole purpose in life seems 2B to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. These people always seem to be unhappy because they always have some unrealistic expectations and when each person they meet doenst live up to those expectations, they just get more unhappy. I hope you havent totally given up though, summer. I think it’s best to not go out of your way to look for someone special but not close the door on the possibility. (Easier said than done I know!!!) Let me know what you think Pramod Gumpeni wrote:
. >This is the first time I think I’ve posted to this group. I just found >it last week, and have been reading it voraciously…
Good to meet ya, Pramod!! >Basically, I fell in love with a girl that didn’t love me back… and she >dumped me (after three months) and started dating someone else, that she >felt was "more" promising, and had "more" in common… I just felt >robbed, because I feel like I wasn’t given a chance. >The feelings of loneliness that I felt last week were almost >insurmountable, and I felt like I was slipping into depression.
So ‘ tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?? I think that’s kind of like asking which is better : the electric chair or lethal injection? I imagine they both suck. >Anyway, I think that destiny might be the best way to go. The weirdest >things happen when you least expect them…
I wouldnt want to put everything in the hand of "destiny" though. Destiny is what "happens" to people who dont take control of their lives and it’s usually not a pretty sight. On the other hand, it’s good to acknowlege that there are some things you dont have control over so you dont get so upset when things dont go your way. As with most things, I think a happy medium is the best. >I thought that I had found somebody special, but I’m realizing that you >can’t find love, it finds you.
Very cool attitude. If something comes my way, excellent. Until then I’m gonna try and be as happy as a can without trying to worry about it. >Peace, Love, Happiness… >Pramod Gumpeni
P, L, H back atcha P.G. m.j.
Response:
Filed under: Happiness Loneliness
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