Lonely Loneliness

Dont know what to do

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"Darkfalz" (darkfalz.use…@gmail.com) writes: > "Lior Caspi" <Lio_EB…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0d6c@posting.google.com… >> Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: >> I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in >> Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at >> the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have >> experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in >> California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live >> anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew >> english it was even harder on me. Then I moved to Florida. At the >> beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. >> After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang >> out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them. >> The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide >> but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and >> start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in >> high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think >> sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I >> sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making >> friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I >> dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really >> lost right now and would accept anything you got to say. > KEINE JUDEN! > DEUTSCHLAND ERWACHE! > HEIL HITLER!

Falzie, for intelligence’s sake…… Don’t lower yourself to that! Hitler suffered from a venerial disease he contracted through sleeping around without taking precautions, proving stupid already. He contracted syphillis, known to give way to insanity if left untreated. He left it untreated and got completely insane. As he saw his weewee fall to pieces, he blamed his mommy for it, the jews, the boogie man, and the big bad insects he shouted were after him on the screen of his dementia and hallucinations: he had more and more of those, until he lived under constant hallucinations as he aged, where his staff tried all they could to hide his psychotic, mad, insane episodes. What could you possibly have in common with insanity?? With any STD you’d have caught sleeping around unprotected like a moron? Yes, condoms existed then too, btw. You are an intelligent virgin man, not an idiotic male slut. You have a working mind, right? Then remain smart. Don’t fall for that cheap type of desperate teen provocation that only the insane could find admirable or even valuable. You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap delirious wacko stuff. C —

Response:

"Michaela" <michaelashouse> wrote in message <news:417c0fde.0@news1.mweb.co.za>… > One can learn from studying him.

Yeah — I learn a lot about *myself!*  My own infantilism, insecurities, anger and hatred, etc., etc.  I think he’s so fascinating because he is our darkest moments come true, a sort of reverse-Christ, so to speak. > The power of persuasion.

You know, the funny thing is — he was an artist!  He really, really thought of himself as an artist.  He was persuasive because he had that artistic sensibility…no philosopher or policy wonk ever persuaded the masses…he often compared the masses to women…. It’s really fascinating that David Bowie referred to Hitler as the world’s first rock star. > The power of suggestion. So good can perhaps come from > his bad. I think you imply this below too… not certain.  ?

Well, I suppose "good" could be made out of anything, provided the creator is imaginative enough, has the resources, etc. (lemonade out of lemons…), but I didn’t mean that the Jewish Lobby in America is a good thing, despite it being one of Hitler’s lasting legacies, however unintentional — I mean, you can be against any goddamned thing in American politics, but it’s political suicide to utter one disparging word about Israel, no matter what the party. It’s ironic, since at the time Hitler was railing about Jewish control, anti-Semitism was not a social taboo.  He made it one — so much so that even criticism is easily made out to be anti-Semitism. > Wait. AH stood up for what he believed in up til the end? > Didn’t he kill himself? I dunno. Perhaps I’m not thinking > straight. That sounds cowardly to me. If he’d really believed > then by killing himself, wasn’t he ‘giving up his cause’?

Oh, no — he so believed in a cataclysmic race war that when it was clear that Germany was losing, he personally ordered the country’s destruction as one obviously unworthy, through a sort of divine trial by combat, of inheriting the earth, leading the world, being the Master Race and so forth.  He actually ordered a kind of Ragnarok (Norse Armageddon, one might say) given the way things turned out. So he was quite consistent.  He really felt that only "the strong" deserved life.  Since Germans have shown themselves weak, they deserved death. Of course, his own suicide had as much to do with fears of humiliation (the example of Mussolini’s end was heavy on his long-fevered mind) as with ideology, though it wasn’t simple "cowardice" that lead to his suicide.  He simply saw no "point" to living any further.  Remember, this is a guy who volunteered for the infantry, and volunteered for the dangerous job of running the mail around the trenches, who had dental work performed without anesthesia…I don’t think it was simple cowardice as such, no. > Stop splitting pears. (Just kidding, actually I have no > idea what you two were talking about here.)

Well, he was going on about Hitler and I was just making the point that results are what counts, whatever the guy says — and empowering "world Jewry" in the "moral superiority department" is poetic justice for his legacy. > Define "sane."

Well, as much as one perceives reality as it is, and not as one needs/wishes it to be, one is sane.  Mental health has gradations like physical health.  Most of us could/should be healthier, but that doesn’t mean we’re sick because we’re not at an optimal level of well-being. > I quite like the beetle.

LOL You know, I saw a Kubelwagon the other day in my nabe!  It was in bad condition, but no doubt a Kubelwagon for sure! > I wish I could remember the movie’s name. I think the actor > was Danny Da Vito. He would take over businesses and ruin > many people’s lives (note to self).

Sigh…indeed! > You know how a sentence > "jumps out" at you and you never forget it (well, I often forget > the sentence itself, but I get the gist and then I don’t know how > to explain what I got from it to others)?

Yes, it happens on a few occasions to me.  I wonder why this is, seeing how important it is to us. > Well, I’m gonna change the movie slightly because of my memory: > this one woman rose to the occasion and fought against DDV > for her hubby’s company and DDV said something [hopefully] > to the effect of "funny how the worst in me brings out the > best in others."

LOL — that’s just perfect right there! Ah, if only I had a sense of humor…how does one develop a sense of humor??? > HTMS

? > LOL > – Michaela

During basic training, every time we entered the DIFAC (dining facility) the first man in the platoon had to announce "Charlie Company Second Platoon ‘Commandos’ now entering the DIFAC!  All hail the mighty ‘Commandos!’" to which the rest of us yelled "All hail!" One day a Drill Sergeant from another platoon just dead-panned "aw, hell" at the end of the ritual and people busted out laughing.

Response:

Left Hand of Empire wrote: >> Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. > I don’t think he was a "good" man at all, though he was an interesting > character, in a very dark way.

One can learn from studying him. The power of persuasion. The power of suggestion. So good can perhaps come from his bad. I think you imply this below too… not certain.  ? > As for his achievements, well, I think his most lasting legacy, > ironically enough, is to empower the very Jews he despised.  As a > result of his lunacy, you can’t say one damned thing about Jews or the > State of Israel of the Jewish Lobby here in America, etc. >> Most of all, he stood up >> for what he believed in and saw it through until the end. > Yeah, well, that’s Dubya’s m.o., too.

Wait. AH stood up for what he believed in up til the end? Didn’t he kill himself? I dunno. Perhaps I’m not thinking straight. That sounds cowardly to me. If he’d really believed then by killing himself, wasn’t he ‘giving up his cause’? >> That’s what >> matters. > No, results are what matters.  "An apple tree does not bear peaches" > and so forth.

Stop splitting pears. (Just kidding, actually I have no idea what you two were talking about here.) >> Yes he got sick and did some questionable things > He was mentally sick to begin with.

Define "sane." >> but nevertheless he did plenty of good as well. > Very little, depending on your definition of "good."

I quite like the beetle. >> Every hooknosed >> Jew ought to be gassed (and arabs along with them). >> Unfortunately the end >> results (ie. the power Jews now have and the state of Israel) >> weren’t so good but you can’t blame him for that. > What are you talking about?  This is like GWB making Al Quaeda > stronger, however inadvertently.

I wish I could remember the movie’s name. I think the actor was Danny Da Vito. He would take over businesses and ruin many people’s lives (note to self). You know how a sentence "jumps out" at you and you never forget it (well, I often forget the sentence itself, but I get the gist and then I don’t know how to explain what I got from it to others)? Well, I’m gonna change the movie slightly because of my memory: this one woman rose to the occasion and fought against DDV for her hubby’s company and DDV said something [hopefully] to the effect of "funny how the worst in me brings out the best in others." HTMS > Incompetency is regarded as a crime in most militaries, too, you know? >> SIEG HEIL! > Oh hell.

LOL – Michaela

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Darkfalz wrote: > "OB" <nevilemo…@yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:6ebc501c.0410172316.e011b8f@posting.google.com… >>"Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message >><news:2tg5ffF1us917U1@uni-berlin.de>… >>>"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message >>>news:ckteod$sqh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… >>>>You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap >>>>delirious wacko stuff. >>>Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. <snip> >>Sometimes "intelligence" is merely a self-awarded licence to be stupid. > "All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." > The Jews were triumphing. Hitler did something. > Something needs to be done again.

Why are the Jews evil? I realise this is a silly question to ask someone with so much hate to spare. I am just wondering if you apply the same convoluted logic to all classes of objects you despise… — .ske

Response:

"ske" <no.m…@spam.net> wrote in message

news:cl5cki$1mc$1@ctb-nnrp2.saix.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Darkfalz wrote: >> "OB" <nevilemo…@yahoo.com> wrote in message >> news:6ebc501c.0410172316.e011b8f@posting.google.com… >>>"Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message >>><news:2tg5ffF1us917U1@uni-berlin.de>… >>>>"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message >>>>news:ckteod$sqh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… >>>>>You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap >>>>>delirious wacko stuff. >>>>Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. <snip> >>>Sometimes "intelligence" is merely a self-awarded licence to be stupid. >> "All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." >> The Jews were triumphing. Hitler did something. >> Something needs to be done again. > Why are the Jews evil? > I realise this is a silly question

Yes it is. ACHTUNG JUDEN.

Response:

"Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message <news:2tg5ffF1us917U1@uni-berlin.de>… > Hitler was a good man and he did some great things.

I don’t think he was a "good" man at all, though he was an interesting character, in a very dark way. As for his achievements, well, I think his most lasting legacy, ironically enough, is to empower the very Jews he despised.  As a result of his lunacy, you can’t say one damned thing about Jews or the State of Israel of the Jewish Lobby here in America, etc. > Most of all, he stood up > for what he believed in and saw it through until the end.

Yeah, well, that’s Dubya’s m.o., too. > That’s what > matters.

No, results are what matters.  "An apple tree does not bear peaches" and so forth. > Yes he got sick and did some questionable things

He was mentally sick to begin with. > (notice how > historians don’t bring this up, they prefer to think it was his plan from > the start)

Bring what up?  What plan?  His sickness has long been recognized, even pre-1933. > but nevertheless he did plenty of good as well.

Very little, depending on your definition of "good." > Every hooknosed > Jew ought to be gassed (and arabs along with them).

LOL — what about the ones w/o the nose?  During WWII, one even made the cover of "Wehrmacht" magazine as an ideal Aryan soldier!  And a founding member of the SS was a quarter-Jew, his bodyguard and chauffeur (and later romantic rival for his neice’s affections) Herr Maurice…etc. > Unfortunately the end > results (ie. the power Jews now have and the state of Israel) weren’t so > good but you can’t blame him for that.

What are you talking about?  This is like GWB making Al Quaeda stronger, however inadvertently. Incompetency is regarded as a crime in most militaries, too, you know? > SIEG HEIL!

Oh hell.

Response:

"Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message <news:2tg5ffF1us917U1@uni-berlin.de>… > "Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message > news:ckteod$sqh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… > > You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap > > delirious wacko stuff. > Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. <snip>

Sometimes "intelligence" is merely a self-awarded licence to be stupid.

Response:

"OB" <nevilemo…@yahoo.com> wrote in message

news:6ebc501c.0410172316.e011b8f@posting.google.com… > "Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message > <news:2tg5ffF1us917U1@uni-berlin.de>… >> "Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message >> news:ckteod$sqh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… >> > You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap >> > delirious wacko stuff. >> Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. <snip> > Sometimes "intelligence" is merely a self-awarded licence to be stupid.

"All that is needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." The Jews were triumphing. Hitler did something. Something needs to be done again.

Response:

"Eleonore Beaudoin" <bc…@FreeNet.Carleton.CA> wrote in message

news:ckteod$sqh$1@freenet9.carleton.ca… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Darkfalz" (darkfalz.use…@gmail.com) writes: >> "Lior Caspi" <Lio_EB…@hotmail.com> wrote in message >> news:aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0d6c@posting.google.com… >>> Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: >>> I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in >>> Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at >>> the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have >>> experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in >>> California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live >>> anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew >>> english it was even harder on me. Then I moved to Florida. At the >>> beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. >>> After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang >>> out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them. >>> The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide >>> but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and >>> start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in >>> high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think >>> sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I >>> sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making >>> friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I >>> dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really >>> lost right now and would accept anything you got to say. >> KEINE JUDEN! >> DEUTSCHLAND ERWACHE! >> HEIL HITLER! > Falzie, for intelligence’s sake…… > Don’t lower yourself to that! > Hitler suffered from a venerial disease he contracted through sleeping > around without taking precautions, proving stupid already. He > contracted syphillis, known to give way to insanity if left untreated. He > left it untreated and got completely insane. As he saw his weewee fall to > pieces, he blamed his mommy for it, the jews, the boogie > man, and the big bad insects he shouted were after him on the screen of > his dementia and hallucinations: he had more and more of those, until > he lived under constant hallucinations as he aged, where his > staff tried all they could to hide his psychotic, mad, insane episodes. > What could you possibly have in common with insanity?? With any STD you’d > have caught sleeping around unprotected like a moron? Yes, condoms > existed then too, btw. You are an intelligent virgin man, not an idiotic > male > slut. You have a working mind, right? > Then remain smart. Don’t fall for that cheap type of desperate > teen provocation that only the insane could find admirable or even > valuable. > You got way too much intelligence to lower yourself to such easy cheap > delirious wacko stuff.

Hitler was a good man and he did some great things. Most of all, he stood up for what he believed in and saw it through until the end. That’s what matters. Yes he got sick and did some questionable things (notice how historians don’t bring this up, they prefer to think it was his plan from the start) but nevertheless he did plenty of good as well. Every hooknosed Jew ought to be gassed (and arabs along with them). Unfortunately the end results (ie. the power Jews now have and the state of Israel) weren’t so good but you can’t blame him for that. SIEG HEIL!

Response:

In article <4172052…@news1.mweb.co.za>, michaelashouse says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Your Name Here=Harvey wrote: >> Find out what you like doing or want to, and take the steps to get >> you there. Try out new things. >> eg. I like playing volleyball a lot, and would have played it sooner, >> if I knew how much fun it really was. You can read up about basic >> techniques and then practice them. If you have one of those cheap >> practice volleyballs, it would be a way of making new friends, >> and interacting with people, without too much talking… >> I wanted to photograph pretty women at your age — I just went out >> and did it, asking women to pose for me, like through a modelling >> school – they had amateur models who would happily pose for the >> camera. >Very cool. > Very often we put limits on ourselves, when they are not >> necessarily there at all, really. >That rings true to me too. >> If you do stuff you really like doing — then you won’t be so >> unhappy and miserable. >> Harvey >> In article <aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0…@posting.google.com>, >> Lio_EB…@hotmail.com says… >>> Lior.

If you really want to do something, take the steps that will get you there. Another example… I was into home computers way back in 1981 – I looked over the magazines not able to decide what I wanted. Ended up buying an Atari 800 in London – about a year later, I started my first drawing on the computer, then did some others. I eventually got into designing game graphics for a friend’s computer game – he was a keen arcade games player (Home computer version only). He wanted to program his own games – found out that BASIC was way too slow, and slowly he learnt assembly language programming – from a book. About his third program, was a complete game, called "Laser Hawk" – which took about a year, part time to complete. I designed the graphics for him, in 1986 it was published in England and got limited sales there. We planned our next game, it eventually took 3 years to complete, as it was a massive game with an involved game design, called "HawkQuest" – being 360k of data. (Programs were around 32k to 48k back then) http://members.tripod.com/~hawkquest I never thought I would get around to working on a computer videogame, as I’ve always only played them. I didn’t think my friend would get around to writing his own computer game, as he didn’t know machine code – when you’ve seen his first two efforts at programming, you wouldn’t have been impressed at all. His 3rd effort led to a full game, incorporating what he learnt through his early efforts. So it seems to me now, how strange it was, that events did fall into place that enabled the completion of Laser Hawk and HawkQuest – lots of coincidences and contact with various people, etc which all HELPED to get those projects/games done. So given time (and effort, etc) anything is possible. Harvey

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"Darkfalz" <darkfalz.use…@gmail.com> wrote in message <news:2tdsraF1uhfjsU1@uni-berlin.de>… > KEINE JUDEN! > DEUTSCHLAND ERWACHE! > HEIL HITLER!

Gott im Himmel!  Wie sagt man "LOL" auf Deustch?? Actually, it’s quite interesting that you bring up Hitler in ASL…talk about lonely!  That’s what happens when folks get real lonely and wrapped up in themselves.  Amazing how many lonely people went along with him, eh?  Because they didn’t know what to do with their existential angst, they sought to lose themselves in something greater than themselves.  It’s a sort of reverse cannabalism.

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Lio_EB…@hotmail.com (Lior Caspi) wrote in message <news:aa3e0507.0410151822.4c54c44a@posting.google.com>… > As you said about yourself, the thing that is keeping me going is the > thought that life would get better after a while. Of course I would > rather have a good high school experience, but I know that after the 4 > years of high school life might turn differently.

As Nietzsche remarked, what if this life is the only life you’ll ever have?  What if this is *it*?  In that same vein, what if it gets worse?  Is life inherently good, does it have intrinsic value, or is it something which we’ll "tolerate" only as long as we have fun, get enough "hits" out of it like some drug addict? Have you read Viktor Frankl’s "Man’s Searching for Meaning" yet?  He was a psychotherapist who spent years in a Nazi death camp.  It’s interesting to "compare notes" with someone like him, and I recommend you read that book. > Yes, it is. I remember my elementary school years when It was easy for > me to make friends. The funny thing is, the best friends I do have > live in my home country (Israel) and I knew all of them from > elementary school. Few even from kindergarden. This has nothing to do > with the topic, but I also remember how over there, unlike here, > everything was at a walking distane.

Well, IIRC, your country can be as little as eight miles wide at its narrowest, right? You obviously don’t live in a city — but what’s preventing you from bicycling?  Though I know those narrow country roads can be dangerous, too (same goes for suburban roads). Look, in your case you also have the issue of being a transplant at the delicate adolescent years…don’t discount the impact of that fact — in other words, much of your "problem" (more to the point, your perception of a problem) may relate to the usual adolescent angst that everyone goes through, but which some, like the popular kids, can easily brush aside and therefore doesn’t appear on their radar screens so often. > We used to hang out at the mall > and the streets every other day and just enjoy ourselves. Every summer > I go over there and hang out. They do not know that my life in the > United States are a lonely one. I leave the expression that I am > having the time of my life. They take it forgranted the fact of having > friends and having fun, but I adore every moment I get with them.

Well, you’re surely homesick, too. You know, maybe your situation is also a bit like a guy or gal who dates but cant’ help comparing everyone to their ex, who was the big crush of their lives.  Know what I mean?  There may also be the matter of your own expectations, as much as anything else. Don’t forget that Israeli society is rather more "cohesive" than here in the States.  I remember reading — and I’ve no reason to doubt these first-hand accounts — that Israeli society is a lot more "structured" than ours, given the political situation there.  You guys have a founding myth, whereas our founding myths have been under much attack (they still stand, but not with so much dignity as before)…I think y’all may have more of a sense of a common destiny there, a common national destiny…here in the States, it’s intellectual, our ties to fellow citizens are more intellectual than emotional, since we’re of such diverse backgrounds (and therefore tastes, really emotional stuff that’s beyond logic, like the idioms of a language which don’t translate well even if we can get the gist of their meaning). > I got to this newsgroup by looking at the groups Google has to offer. > I noticed at the veriaty and looked for the one that fits me, that is > depression/loneliness.

Ah, okay, like most of us, then!  So you’re not so alone, see?  =) > Yep. I dont always feel sad about being alone. Some days I just cope > with it and think maybe it is the day I came to accept it, but then I > see how others are having fun and just cant bare the sight of it, and > I feel sad again. Its something that comes and goes.

Me, psychologically, I’ve somehow come to view the fun of others as my own, too, somewhat.  For friends, I try to imagine the situation from their point of view, and when I’m successful doing that, I can actually feel a bit of their happiness rubbing off on me!  Just a tiny bit, and that’s only sometimes.  But what I’m trying to say is that if you could somehow claim their fun as your own, even if only conceptually…then you might not feel so bad, nor as often…like, with me, I see couples, or others having fun, and I feel a little "sentimental" — if that’s the right word here — and think, ah, I’m glad *somebody* is having fun, I’m glad life *does* go on, ’cause that gives me hope, hope that my turn may yet come around again! It’s like seeing someone doing something you used to do but no longer do and you start getting the old urge again and think, yes, that’s how it was! and you get kinda "inspired" by it…no need to take things "personally" in a negative way, no need to wonder "well how about *me* and mine"…like seeing someone with a BMW and a big mansion and not feeling jealous…. > Well, I think a girl is something all straight men are fantasizing > about, regardless of location and age.

Yes, in terms of sex — but I believe that some guys are actually happy, really, deeply happy with their current wives or girlfriends or whatever, and no longer "fantasize" about *love* and being loved…at such a time, it’s simply a matter of sexual taste or curiosity, it’s no longer a matter of "love"…if that makes any sense…. > The question is, what is your > dream in life you fantasizing about. Is it becoming a doctor? opening > a company? seeing sights? Mine is traveling in South America, Europe, > and Asia. My dream was to spend a few years of just traveling, and do > so at an age as young as possible.

Typical Israeli!  =) My life goal, if that’s what you mean, is to be a novelist, and a much beloved one, financially successful as well as critically acclaimed — for all time! It’s not the kind of "easy" thing to achieve, as you can see.  So I think it’s just as well that life has disciplined me to accept disappointment and so forth.  =) > What’s my problem? Reread what you just read.

Not necessarily…you may have only described the symptoms, the manifestations of some underlying thing.  I’m curious what you yourself, given the time of an honest effort, might think.

Response:

"Lior Caspi" <Lio_EB…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0d6c@posting.google.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: > I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in > Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at > the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have > experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in > California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live > anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew > english it was even harder on me. Then I moved to Florida. At the > beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. > After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang > out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them. > The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide > but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and > start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in > high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think > sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I > sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making > friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I > dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really > lost right now and would accept anything you got to say.

KEINE JUDEN! DEUTSCHLAND ERWACHE! HEIL HITLER!

Response:

jack_foreig…@yahoo.com (Left Hand of Empire) wrote in message <news:1e1aa574.0410150529.31d9acc6@posting.google.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Lio_EB…@hotmail.com (Lior Caspi) wrote in message <news:aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0d6c@posting.google.com>… > > Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: > > I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in > > Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at > > the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have > > experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in > > California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live > > anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew > > english it was even harder on me. > You remember the story of Cain and Abel?  God’s punishment for Cain > murdering his brother Abel wasn’t the death penalty — it was exile. > Loneliness is indeed worse than mere death.  Even when I haven’t > exactly been depressed I’ve wondered about suicide.  It all just seems > so pointless.  What’s keeping from actually doing it?  For me, aside > from simple physical cowardice, is a sense of feeling like I haven’t > quite lived yet…I would feel cheated indeed if I were to just die > and not have had at least some of my goddamned dreams come true, you > know…that, and curiosity: curiosity about where things will wind up, > how things will develop, in my life, in the world.  The real reason I > have to keep going, even in the worst of times, is this sense of not > having had my share yet of the good life, and simple curiosity whether > I ever will. > So, what kept you going?  What’s keeping you going even now?

As you said about yourself, the thing that is keeping me going is the thought that life would get better after a while. Of course I would rather have a good high school experience, but I know that after the 4 years of high school life might turn differently. > > Then I moved to Florida. At the > > beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. > > After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang > > out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them. > Yeah, I can relate.  It’s harder to make friends as one gets older, > isn’t it?  Funny but true.  As kids, we can simply just hang out, > we’ve got nothing better to do anyway, in a sense.

Yes, it is. I remember my elementary school years when It was easy for me to make friends. The funny thing is, the best friends I do have live in my home country (Israel) and I knew all of them from elementary school. Few even from kindergarden. This has nothing to do with the topic, but I also remember how over there, unlike here, everything was at a walking distane. We used to hang out at the mall and the streets every other day and just enjoy ourselves. Every summer I go over there and hang out. They do not know that my life in the United States are a lonely one. I leave the expression that I am having the time of my life. They take it forgranted the fact of having friends and having fun, but I adore every moment I get with them. > How did you find this newsgroup?  I think you came to the right place > for a bit of companionship/fellowship/comradery.

I got to this newsgroup by looking at the groups Google has to offer. I noticed at the veriaty and looked for the one that fits me, that is depression/loneliness. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide > > but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and > > start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in > > high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think > > sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I > > sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making > > friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I > > dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really > > lost right now and would accept anything you got to say. > > Please reply > > Lior. > What is it you want to talk about, exactly?  I remember just suddenly > feeling sad as a kid, too — just feeling very sad and wanting to cry. >  I’m not like that anymore, thank Goodness, but I still remember those > days.  Feeling so alone and all.

Yep. I dont always feel sad about being alone. Some days I just cope with it and think maybe it is the day I came to accept it, but then I see how others are having fun and just cant bare the sight of it, and I feel sad again. Its something that comes and goes. > You’re here now.  Here, "we stand alone together."  What’s on your > mind, really?  What do you find yourself thinking about most of the > time?  Me, I’m still fantasizing about having a girl, you know, having > a love of my life.

Well, I think a girl is something all straight men are fantasizing about, regardless of location and age. The question is, what is your dream in life you fantasizing about. Is it becoming a doctor? opening a company? seeing sights? Mine is traveling in South America, Europe, and Asia. My dream was to spend a few years of just traveling, and do so at an age as young as possible. > What’s your problem?  =)

What’s my problem? Reread what you just read.

Response:

Your Name Here=Harvey wrote: > Find out what you like doing or want to, and take the steps to get > you there. Try out new things. > eg. I like playing volleyball a lot, and would have played it sooner, > if I knew how much fun it really was. You can read up about basic > techniques and then practice them. If you have one of those cheap > practice volleyballs, it would be a way of making new friends, > and interacting with people, without too much talking… > I wanted to photograph pretty women at your age — I just went out > and did it, asking women to pose for me, like through a modelling > school – they had amateur models who would happily pose for the > camera.

Very cool.  Very often we put limits on ourselves, when they are not > necessarily there at all, really.

That rings true to me too. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> If you do stuff you really like doing — then you won’t be so > unhappy and miserable. > Harvey > In article <aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0…@posting.google.com>, > Lio_EB…@hotmail.com says… >> Lior.

Response:

Lio_EB…@hotmail.com (Lior Caspi) wrote in message <news:aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0d6c@posting.google.com>… > Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: > I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in > Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at > the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have > experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in > California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live > anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew > english it was even harder on me.

You remember the story of Cain and Abel?  God’s punishment for Cain murdering his brother Abel wasn’t the death penalty — it was exile. Loneliness is indeed worse than mere death.  Even when I haven’t exactly been depressed I’ve wondered about suicide.  It all just seems so pointless.  What’s keeping from actually doing it?  For me, aside from simple physical cowardice, is a sense of feeling like I haven’t quite lived yet…I would feel cheated indeed if I were to just die and not have had at least some of my goddamned dreams come true, you know…that, and curiosity: curiosity about where things will wind up, how things will develop, in my life, in the world.  The real reason I have to keep going, even in the worst of times, is this sense of not having had my share yet of the good life, and simple curiosity whether I ever will. So, what kept you going?  What’s keeping you going even now? > Then I moved to Florida. At the > beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. > After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang > out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them.

Yeah, I can relate.  It’s harder to make friends as one gets older, isn’t it?  Funny but true.  As kids, we can simply just hang out, we’ve got nothing better to do anyway, in a sense. How did you find this newsgroup?  I think you came to the right place for a bit of companionship/fellowship/comradery. > The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide > but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and > start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in > high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think > sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I > sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making > friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I > dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really > lost right now and would accept anything you got to say. > Please reply > Lior.

What is it you want to talk about, exactly?  I remember just suddenly feeling sad as a kid, too — just feeling very sad and wanting to cry.  I’m not like that anymore, thank Goodness, but I still remember those days.  Feeling so alone and all. You’re here now.  Here, "we stand alone together."  What’s on your mind, really?  What do you find yourself thinking about most of the time?  Me, I’m still fantasizing about having a girl, you know, having a love of my life. What’s your problem?  =)

Response:

Find out what you like doing or want to, and take the steps to get you there. Try out new things. eg. I like playing volleyball a lot, and would have played it sooner, if I knew how much fun it really was. You can read up about basic techniques and then practice them. If you have one of those cheap practice volleyballs, it would be a way of making new friends, and interacting with people, without too much talking… I wanted to photograph pretty women at your age — I just went out and did it, asking women to pose for me, like through a modelling school – they had amateur models who would happily pose for the camera. Very often we put limits on ourselves, when they are not necessarily there at all, really. If you do stuff you really like doing — then you won’t be so unhappy and miserable. Harvey In article <aa3e0507.0410141744.298c0…@posting.google.com>, Lio_EB…@hotmail.com says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hey, my name is Lior and here is my story: >I am a 17 year old who lives in Florida. I was originally born in >Israel, moved to california when I was 13, then moved to Florida at >the age of 15. Ever since I lived in the United States I have >experienced major and minor depressions. The two years I lived in >California I thought a lot of suicide and just did not want to live >anymore. I did not have anyone to talk to and since I barely knew >english it was even harder on me. Then I moved to Florida. At the >beginning I was quite happy because I had lots of friends in school. >After a while I thought I will be able to get closer to them and hang >out with them, but as time went by I only got further away from them. >The two years so far that I live in Florida I did not think of suicide >but had many depressions and sometimes came home going to my room and >start crying. Lately, loneliness really got into me. I am a Junior in >high school and I really got no one close to talk to. I think >sometimes of going to consuling but then think ‘what is the use’. I >sometimes wonder to myself what is the reason I have hard times making >friends. I know that my shyness is one of the major reasons, and I >dont find myself very good looking although some say I am. I am really >lost right now and would accept anything you got to say. >Please reply >Lior.

Response:

Filed under: Happiness Loneliness

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