Lonely Loneliness

Garden Flash (2)

Question:

Hope the sunburn isn’t too painful. Sounds like fun. Did you enjoy? pica Mephistopheles <serp…@forbiddenfruit.com> wrote in message

news:3AFF1645.4CE0CAC5@forbiddenfruit.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> it’s a mess in my head as well. worse, i am sunburned from riding an inner tube > down a river for four hours with four people from work. when my head gets messed > up i start writing really bad, morose poetry (i see this as a symptom). trouble > is, it perpetuates the messed up feeling and i isolate more. at some point, it > grows so comfortable that i have this odd sense of happiness. i keep this until > some drags me out of it, usually by making me fall more in love than a teenager > which makes me stop writing morose poetry and start writing love sonnets > (Shakespearean) which are also bad [note to self: is saccharin the  word i'm > wanting here?]. after allowing my heart to be broken, i then start babbling (but > stop writing poetry). i had a point —- oh yeah, i sometimes got to a bar where > other people read their really bad poetry and sometimes this gets me out of that > messed up state as well. > Are there gardening clubs in your neck of the woods? > John

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Response:

Your gardening flashes are great and I do hope they become a regular feature pica Wing Commander Sandcastle <sandcas…@sandcastle.worldonline.co.uk> wrote in message news:9dn067$j7igi$1@ID-73971.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The spring onions have come through now. > I have a bromeliad in my pond, purchased this day. Two of my fish in my pond > were observed simultaneously also this day. > It pissed down this evening, a minor thunderstorm, so it saved me watering > the garden. Apparently, there is supposed to be a certain time of day when > you do that during the hot weather, e.g just as the sun comes up or when it > has just gone down. I’m learning, basically. > Many of my posts henceforth are going to be about my garden, but in truth I > am flaking with this loneliness thing. I thought I could really handle it, > but I cannae hack it really. The reason why is that you need someone to talk > to about how screwed up you are in your head. As time goes on, more and more > private disasters happen inside my mind. I get sicker and sicker with the > poison in my head. I just want someone to reassure me and for me to reassure > them. Fear and lack of direction will do me in, eventually. The more > depressed I get, the more scared I get. The fear will screw up the nervous > system eventually. > OTS

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Response:

Hi OTS, I like hearing about your garden. I hope it does well even if you are still learning. I think it will.  We are not close enough to run across to each other’s place to chat a while, but feel free to talk to me about being screwed up in the head any time you want. You are not alone in that. Maybe we can help each other work out some of the screwy things going on in our minds. Wanda  : ) Wing Commander Sandcastle <sandcas…@sandcastle.worldonline.co.uk> wrote in message news:9dn067$j7igi$1@ID-73971.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The spring onions have come through now. > I have a bromeliad in my pond, purchased this day. Two of my fish in my pond > were observed simultaneously also this day. > It pissed down this evening, a minor thunderstorm, so it saved me watering > the garden. Apparently, there is supposed to be a certain time of day when > you do that during the hot weather, e.g just as the sun comes up or when it > has just gone down. I’m learning, basically. > Many of my posts henceforth are going to be about my garden, but in truth I > am flaking with this loneliness thing. I thought I could really handle it, > but I cannae hack it really. The reason why is that you need someone to talk > to about how screwed up you are in your head. As time goes on, more and more > private disasters happen inside my mind. I get sicker and sicker with the > poison in my head. I just want someone to reassure me and for me to reassure > them. Fear and lack of direction will do me in, eventually. The more > depressed I get, the more scared I get. The fear will screw up the nervous > system eventually. > OTS

Response:

it’s a mess in my head as well. worse, i am sunburned from riding an inner tube down a river for four hours with four people from work. when my head gets messed up i start writing really bad, morose poetry (i see this as a symptom). trouble is, it perpetuates the messed up feeling and i isolate more. at some point, it grows so comfortable that i have this odd sense of happiness. i keep this until some drags me out of it, usually by making me fall more in love than a teenager which makes me stop writing morose poetry and start writing love sonnets (Shakespearean) which are also bad [note to self: is saccharin the  word i'm wanting here?]. after allowing my heart to be broken, i then start babbling (but stop writing poetry). i had a point —- oh yeah, i sometimes got to a bar where other people read their really bad poetry and sometimes this gets me out of that messed up state as well. Are there gardening clubs in your neck of the woods? John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Many of my posts henceforth are going to be about my garden, but in truth I > am flaking with this loneliness thing. I thought I could really handle it, > but I cannae hack it really. The reason why is that you need someone to talk > to about how screwed up you are in your head. As time goes on, more and more > private disasters happen inside my mind. I get sicker and sicker with the > poison in my head. I just want someone to reassure me and for me to reassure > them. Fear and lack of direction will do me in, eventually. The more > depressed I get, the more scared I get. The fear will screw up the nervous > system eventually. > OTS

Response:

The spring onions have come through now. I have a bromeliad in my pond, purchased this day. Two of my fish in my pond were observed simultaneously also this day. It pissed down this evening, a minor thunderstorm, so it saved me watering the garden. Apparently, there is supposed to be a certain time of day when you do that during the hot weather, e.g just as the sun comes up or when it has just gone down. I’m learning, basically. Many of my posts henceforth are going to be about my garden, but in truth I am flaking with this loneliness thing. I thought I could really handle it, but I cannae hack it really. The reason why is that you need someone to talk to about how screwed up you are in your head. As time goes on, more and more private disasters happen inside my mind. I get sicker and sicker with the poison in my head. I just want someone to reassure me and for me to reassure them. Fear and lack of direction will do me in, eventually. The more depressed I get, the more scared I get. The fear will screw up the nervous system eventually. OTS

Response:

Filed under: Happiness Loneliness

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