Lonely Loneliness

Lonely, or just a loner?

Question:

To all of you who reacted to my first message… Gina, Lady3J and Simon… Thanks so much… I didn’t write it here because i was expecting answers. (I’m not that naive) But your attention, thoughts, experience and caring words mean much to me. To see how you put effort into someone you don’t even know, yet. If you all don’t mind I think I’ll be hangin’ around here. You see like great people, and I would be a fool to walk away from that. And, to Simon, I go out alone on quite often. Not because there would be no one to go out with. On the contrary, really. I just don’t like to hang out with the same people always. Maybe it’s arrogant, but i think myself to be much more interesting than they are (to me atleast) Going on totally unnoticed, however, like yesterday… That’s painfull. Maybe i should change my attitude, or the way i think and sense. Just to blend in more easily. Maybe, but i won’t. This is me, and (if you ask me) it’s a good deal which way you look at it. Once again… Thank you all for your kind words. I’ll be around, Jack

Response:

Jack, I hear you… To me, life seems like a computer program with some of the menu selections "grayed out." I haven’t yet figured out what I need to do (or not do, or undo) in order to make those menu items do something when I click on them. Maybe by joining together here and sharing our own experiences, we can learn something and become enlightened. Hang in there…                                               Mike J

Response:

Jack wrote: > Well. This is my first cry into the world without knowing who i’m > adressing it to. I’m not even sure why i’m going to do it. > Only one hour ago i was still downtown, spending my time in an Irish > pub. I often go there, and some of the times alone too. This was one > of those occasions. > However, this time it made me feel as if the world was a picture i > could only look at. I couldn’t be seen, nor could i interact in any > way.

when do you not go alone? and with whom?sometimes, I feel that my life’s like a read-only file. I can try my best to interact in the real world and try to make friends but I’m never able to keep those changes and I soon lose those friends. > Why can’t i be able to get the attention and appreciation i think i > deserve. I’m a nice guy, trying to make the best out of my life. I’m > not asking for much. It just doesn’t seem fair to see how i just can’t > get it right. Maybe things are meant to be the way they are, and i > just have to find peace with that. It bitters me though, to see people > pursueing only superficial ideals without thinking of the > consequences.

A lot of people out there just don’t notice other people. They’re just absorbed in their own little world and sometimes if you try to be nice, they’ll just ignore you because they think they’re so much better in their own world with their friends. > Shakespeare once wrote: > "But, oh, how bitter to see happiness through the eyes of someone > else"

A friend of mine once said:"Go away, you’re stupid" (hehe, not many people have had THAT happen, eh?) > That pretty well compiles my state of mind. I feel lonely, but can’t > think of anyone who could suit my misses. And i’m envious of those who > can fit in to a lifestyle like this without being brought to doubts.

A life style of being lonely? I’m in a constant state of paranoia and fustration. Paranoid that my friends are doing things without me in their own little world, fustrated because I’m not invited. I’m pretty sure the only ones who can live with loneliness are those who are dead. > To anyone who came this far reading.. Thanks for reading my story, > don’t take it personal and feel free to tell me if you know what’s my > misperception or problem. Or just to tell me you feel the same. > Thanks for listening.

I feel the same if not worst. I am in hell. The flames shooting out of the keyboard are not because of my overclocking and messing with the hardware. > Jack > jjvw@///.xs4all.nl > (remove the /// to mail me. I hate that spam mail)

Simon Milky…@concentric.net (Remove the e-mail address to send me spam mail. I hate that spam mail)

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jack wrote: > Well. This is my first cry into the world without knowing who i’m > adressing it to. I’m not even sure why i’m going to do it. > Only one hour ago i was still downtown, spending my time in an Irish > pub. I often go there, and some of the times alone too. This was one > of those occasions. > However, this time it made me feel as if the world was a picture i > could only look at. I couldn’t be seen, nor could i interact in any > way. > Why can’t i be able to get the attention and appreciation i think i > deserve. I’m a nice guy, trying to make the best out of my life. I’m > not asking for much. It just doesn’t seem fair to see how i just can’t > get it right. Maybe things are meant to be the way they are, and i > just have to find peace with that. It bitters me though, to see people > pursueing only superficial ideals without thinking of the > consequences. > Shakespeare once wrote: > "But, oh, how bitter to see happiness through the eyes of someone > else" > That pretty well compiles my state of mind. I feel lonely, but can’t > think of anyone who could suit my misses. And i’m envious of those who > can fit in to a lifestyle like this without being brought to doubts. > To anyone who came this far reading.. Thanks for reading my story, > don’t take it personal and feel free to tell me if you know what’s my > misperception or problem. Or just to tell me you feel the same. > Thanks for listening. > Jack > jjvw@///.xs4all.nl > (remove the /// to mail me. I hate that spam mail)

    Hi Jack, Welcome.  I’m not chuck full of answers today, but we’ve got a whole lot of really great people on this group and I’m sure some of them will be speaking to you or probably already have.  We’ve found here and there that sharing some of our thoughts and ideas have helped some of us to learn how to function at a different level socially.  We’ve pointed out areas to each other that we might be able to improve on in order to be more outgoing or make us more noticeable in an attractive manner.  Hang out with us for awhile and share and we’ll all see what we can come up with.  : ) J —         Confidence comes not from always being right,           but from not fearing to be wrong.                   Peter Mcintyre

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jack wrote: >>Well. This is my first cry into the world without knowing who i’m >adressing it to. I’m not even sure why i’m going to do it. >Only one hour ago i was still downtown, spending my time in an Irish >pub. I often go there, and some of the times alone too. This was one >of those occasions. >However, this time it made me feel as if the world was a picture i >could only look at. I couldn’t be seen, nor could i interact in any >way. >Why can’t i be able to get the attention and appreciation i think i >deserve. I’m a nice guy, trying to make the best out of my life. I’m >not asking for much. It just doesn’t seem fair to see how i just can’t >get it right. Maybe things are meant to be the way they are, and i >just have to find peace with that. It bitters me though, to see people >pursueing only superficial ideals without thinking of the >consequences. >Shakespeare once wrote: >"But, oh, how bitter to see happiness through the eyes of someone >else" >That pretty well compiles my state of mind. I feel lonely, but can’t >think of anyone who could suit my misses. And i’m envious of those who >can fit in to a lifestyle like this without being brought to doubts. >To anyone who came this far reading.. Thanks for reading my story, >don’t take it personal and feel free to tell me if you know what’s my >misperception or problem. Or just to tell me you feel the same. >Thanks for listening. >Jack

Dear Jack… I wish I had a magical formula to offer for overcoming loneliness…but all I can do is tell you that I’ve been there myself, and it takes a lot of work to dig out from underneath all that loneliness and the wall surrounding you…but I’m living proof that it can be done !!  I know how it is to be surrounded with people…and even be a participant in the activities…but still feel "alone". Anyway….since you are lonely and since you have taken that first step of crying into the world (even though you don’t know us yet)…you certainly cried to the right place, and I’m glad you chose us.  There are many wonderful people here and I’m sure you’ll be meeting them….and  I hope you stay with us as you conquer this loneliness….and you will conquer it !!   Your friend, Gina "The greatest thing you ever can do,,,   Is trade a smile with someone who’s blue…"                               – Led Zeppelin (Friends)

Response:

Well. This is my first cry into the world without knowing who i’m adressing it to. I’m not even sure why i’m going to do it. Only one hour ago i was still downtown, spending my time in an Irish pub. I often go there, and some of the times alone too. This was one of those occasions. However, this time it made me feel as if the world was a picture i could only look at. I couldn’t be seen, nor could i interact in any way. Why can’t i be able to get the attention and appreciation i think i deserve. I’m a nice guy, trying to make the best out of my life. I’m not asking for much. It just doesn’t seem fair to see how i just can’t get it right. Maybe things are meant to be the way they are, and i just have to find peace with that. It bitters me though, to see people pursueing only superficial ideals without thinking of the consequences. Shakespeare once wrote:

"But, oh, how bitter to see happiness through the eyes of someone else" That pretty well compiles my state of mind. I feel lonely, but can’t think of anyone who could suit my misses. And i’m envious of those who can fit in to a lifestyle like this without being brought to doubts. To anyone who came this far reading.. Thanks for reading my story, don’t take it personal and feel free to tell me if you know what’s my misperception or problem. Or just to tell me you feel the same. Thanks for listening. Jack jjvw@///.xs4all.nl (remove the /// to mail me. I hate that spam mail)

Response:

Filed under: Happiness Loneliness

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