stuff
Question:
On Mon, 1 Apr 2002 12:41:15 +1000, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote: >I don’t give a fuck what they want. Whatever it is >a) They don’t deserve it.
True. >b) They dont give a fuck about what I want, why would I do the same for >them?
Because they’ve got the pussy, and they get good offers for it every day. If you don’t want to be reduced to begging for it, you’ve got to play a good game. >3. Julia Roberts is UGLY. Hollywood has just tried to force you to believe >she’s gorgeous, but she’s sickeninging gross.
True. She is one ugly dog. But Hollywood plays a very good game.
Response:
"Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote in message
news:3ca7c83f@news.comindico.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Doc" <spine…@qwest.net> wrote in message > news:MBkp8.425$GS5.47065@news.uswest.net… > > > I’d love to be a women, or at least in their shoes. Women hold ALL the > > cards > > > when it comes to dating, get ALL the allowances (short girls and fat > girls > > > have no problem getting men, for example) and have ALL the breaks these > > > days. > > God you are an idiot. No wonder women aren’t interested in you. Women do > > NOT want sensitive, Alan Alda-ish slouching self effacing noodles. They > > want men with 1) confidence (which is free by the way, and 2) preferably > > money and good looks. 2) won’t do you any good without 1). > I don’t give a fuck what they want. Whatever it is > a) They don’t deserve it. > b) They dont give a fuck about what I want, why would I do the same for > them? > > So 1) improve your attitude and 2) quit whining and do what ever it takes > to > > get some money. You could like like the fucking elephant man and still > get > > whatever (or nearly whatever) woman you want with an attitude > (Specifically, > > the attitude that helps the most is that you really don’t care if they > like > > you or not; women LOVE that in a man) and some dough. > > EXAMPLE: LYLE LOVETT AND JULIA ROBERTS> > 1. They are celebrities and have totally different rules > 2. They are divorced > 3. Julia Roberts is UGLY. Hollywood has just tried to force you to believe > she’s gorgeous, but she’s sickeninging gross.
Hear-hear. If I were her (which I’m glad I’m not), I’d have wasted the so-called plastic surgeon who ‘pumped-up’ that upper lip. I mean for f..k’s sake, these cretins are clueless – since when were upper lips bigger than lower lips ? Same with ol’ fish-lips Hurley, she looks like a f..king guppie for Chrissakes. You’d need to be borderline retarded to think having two lower lips looks good. True Hurley’s "before" lips were f..king gross-out, but the "afters" are just scarey. It’s like when you were a kid, made"big-lips" with your tongue and played faux-kiss chase. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
> Anyone tried dating agencies ? > They always gave me the creeps. > Please, someone tell me something good about them. > And another thing – where are all the pretty girls, and why do they always > seem to go out with utter wankers ? > I suppose it’s about personality – I think I must be a bit short ! > BWAAH, BWAAH. > (F..king crap genes – life is SO unfair)
Nick – are you in the UK? Do you want to go on radio or TV and help tackle height prejudice in our society? Channel 4 are interested in doing a TV programme about it – I’ve already been on Radio 4, Radio Leeds & Radio Scotland. If you do, drop me an email. I’ve already got a few other guys and gals interested in going on. If you know of any other short folks who want to join up herd then up. MC PS – f*ck all to do with genes – more to do with prejudice – don’t tell me you’ve fallen for that crap? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
"Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote in message
news:3ca4727d@news.comindico.com.au… > > I’m sorry to hear it, but I bet you that there have been a few who > I place myself on women’s side. That’s why I hate them so much, because they > HAVE to know they are abusing the system, being horrendously unfair, and if > I acted like a woman, I’d be beside myself with guilt. Yet women behave that > way without feeling the slightlest remorse.
Good job they don’t run the world. > I’d love to be a women, or at least in their shoes. Women hold ALL the cards > when it comes to dating, get ALL the allowances (short girls and fat girls > have no problem getting men, for example) and have ALL the breaks these > days.
Tell me about it. I’m actually very good-looking, but I got no confidence – so even if a chick shows interest in me, I can’t do anything about it. ….. and you think you’re shagged. Anyone tried dating agencies ? They always gave me the creeps. Please, someone tell me something good about them. And another thing – where are all the pretty girls, and why do they always seem to go out with utter wankers ? I suppose it’s about personality – I think I must be a bit short ! BWAAH, BWAAH. (F..king crap genes – life is SO unfair) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
>> Women hold ALL the cards when it comes to dating
boy don’t I know this. >Tell me about it. I’m actually very good-looking
I don’t think this has anything to do with it. I spend some of my many dateless summers at the beach or downtown and see a lot bad looking men with beautiful women. Two summers ago while I was sitting near a busy street downtown, watching people walk by, I noticed an average looking guy, by himself, sitting further down from me. I figured he was doing the same thing I was but he started to do something interesting. He would actually get up and talk to some of the girls that walked by. (or if they sat down to rest on the steps) Now we’ve all watched other men ‘work’ women to get phone numbers, ask them out etc and as always I’ve tried to listen and see what I could learn, but I never said anything to them. That day I did. I actually asked him as he walked by: "How do you do that?" I asked how are you approaching the girls, what are you saying, where? which?…everything. I think he saw the look of desperation in my eyes and felt sorry for me. He answered by talking about his girlfriends, how he approaches women, what to say and more importantly what not to say. He ended by shaking my hand and wishing me luck then dissapeared into the crowd. I tried a couple of new things after that and failed mostly due to this… >… but I got no confidence
<edit> Now that is a problem. Nor do I. Unfortunately that is everything >so even if a chick shows interest in me, I can’t do anything about it.
What man hasn’t had a woman interested in him? I’ve been there many times. (the interest wasn’t about money and as I look back on I’m surprised at the quality of women that were interested in me) but the important thing is to do something about it. >And another thing – where are all the pretty girls, and why do they always >seem to go out with utter wankers ?
because those utter wankers approach and talk to them more often than the quiet guys do probably. >BWAAH, BWAAH.
don’t whine take what you’ve been given in like a man. I do. I still go out and try to have fun. >….. life is SO unfair)
Its supposed to be
Response:
"Doc" <spine…@qwest.net> wrote in message
news:MBkp8.425$GS5.47065@news.uswest.net… > > I’d love to be a women, or at least in their shoes. Women hold ALL the > cards > > when it comes to dating, get ALL the allowances (short girls and fat girls > > have no problem getting men, for example) and have ALL the breaks these > > days. > God you are an idiot. No wonder women aren’t interested in you. Women do > NOT want sensitive, Alan Alda-ish slouching self effacing noodles. They > want men with 1) confidence (which is free by the way, and 2) preferably > money and good looks. 2) won’t do you any good without 1).
I don’t give a fuck what they want. Whatever it is a) They don’t deserve it. b) They dont give a fuck about what I want, why would I do the same for them? > So 1) improve your attitude and 2) quit whining and do what ever it takes to > get some money. You could like like the fucking elephant man and still get > whatever (or nearly whatever) woman you want with an attitude (Specifically, > the attitude that helps the most is that you really don’t care if they like > you or not; women LOVE that in a man) and some dough. > EXAMPLE: LYLE LOVETT AND JULIA ROBERTS>
1. They are celebrities and have totally different rules 2. They are divorced 3. Julia Roberts is UGLY. Hollywood has just tried to force you to believe she’s gorgeous, but she’s sickeninging gross.
Response:
With the greatest respect Harv, bollocks ! Money DOES buy happiness (well, it does if you define it as a higher standard of misery). Money buys freedom which is 50% of happiness – as in the pursuit thereof. N. "Harvey @ Home" <kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus> wrote in message news:n9Mo8.172$Og6.17191@news02.tsnz.net… > Sex symbols can live terrible lives – with Dudley Moore, I think his > personal life was a mess, and of course fate played a terrible hand upon him. > I don’t think successful people live happier lives than most – it only > APPEARS to be that way on the surface. > They probably have as much anxiety as anyone else (have more to lose than > most – creating worry). Everyone faces their own fears, worries, doubts, etc. > Harvey > In article <3ca338fa.15470…@news.news-service.com>,
broj…@windswept.home – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> says… > >On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 15:38:31 +1100, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> > >wrote: > >>The difference is men are easily pleased in this department. Or it just so > >>happens God made most women attractive enough to please most men, but didn’t > >>bother making all men attractive since women were supposed to care about > >>something else. But I don’t see it like that, I just think women have set > >>their standards unreasonably high. > >From my perspective, females have become LESS interested in male > >appearance as the decades passed. Prior to the mid-60s, many singers > >and actors were successful because they were physically attractive. > >They certainly didn’t have talent. Females were very shallow back > >then. > >This seemed to change when hideous, shaggy types like Mick Jagger and > >twirps like Dudley Moore became sex symbols. And check out all the > >young broads today with bald guys. You wouldn’t see something like > >that in, say, 1960. > >Of course, if you’re a guy with $$$$$, you’ll be successful. That has > >always been true throughout the history of homo sapiens. > >Bro Jack
Response:
> I’d love to be a women, or at least in their shoes. Women hold ALL the cards > when it comes to dating, get ALL the allowances (short girls and fat girls > have no problem getting men, for example) and have ALL the breaks these > days.
God you are an idiot. No wonder women aren’t interested in you. Women do NOT want sensitive, Alan Alda-ish slouching self effacing noodles. They want men with 1) confidence (which is free by the way, and 2) preferably money and good looks. 2) won’t do you any good without 1). So 1) improve your attitude and 2) quit whining and do what ever it takes to get some money. You could like like the fucking elephant man and still get whatever (or nearly whatever) woman you want with an attitude (Specifically, the attitude that helps the most is that you really don’t care if they like you or not; women LOVE that in a man) and some dough. EXAMPLE: LYLE LOVETT AND JULIA ROBERTS> Doc – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
But isn’t sociability and friendship just a function of your mind-set ? There’s a far higher percentage of "non-socialite" loners out there than most people imagine. If you find yourself interesting, other people’ll find you interesting and vice-versa ….. the spawning grounds of friendship and a social life. If you frequently find yourself bored or going through the motions of life, you’ll just be also-ran(ning). If you happen to be of this disposition and married, you’ll end up divorced and if you’re lucky, remarry. And as you get older, opportunities diminish – which is why you need to grab EVERY opportunity with both hands. If you’re lucky enough to have an interest, then clubs hold out some hope of an extra-curricular existence. If not, just watch life disappear between your fingers. The clock don’t stop ticking ….. and no-one gets out alive. "Harvey @ Home" <kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus> wrote in message news:W3Mo8.170$Og6.17081@news02.tsnz.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – > and not just what is on the surface. > This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, > because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the > wrong choice. > The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. > Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is > simply being there with that other person, just hanging out. > The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, > that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships > fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad. > Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect > with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend. > Harvey > In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org > says… > >In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz"
<darkf…@algo.sys> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> writes: > >> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, > >> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for > >> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man > >> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk > >> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women > >> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. > > I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. > >Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of them > >had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a space > >for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy > >friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – > >drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning > either > >20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally (NOT!) > >they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. > > I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that > >teaches them this kind of attitude? > >>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get > >>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to > >>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is > >>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has > >>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. > > A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online > >variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends > >that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so > >I started trying to make friends. > > I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve > >met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do > things > >with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so > >much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time > >jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me > with > >lots of lovely recreation time.) > > Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, > >she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… > >she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally > >ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are > pretty > >inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier > to > >be friends with. > > I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt > >it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends > >with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them > >all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in > >women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are > >the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. > Maybe > >I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. > >Jet City Woman
Response:
Pure Evil disguised as "Sharon Guthrie" <f…@encompasserve.org> wrote in message news:wkvOp6knGvPe@eisner.encompasserve.org… > In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> writes: > I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this.
They all say that. > they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. > I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that > teaches them this kind of attitude?
It’s called TV.
Response:
> I’m sorry to hear it, but I bet you that there have been a few who > liked you quite a bit but you missed the signs. It happens to all of > us! Don’t get the impression that I am some Don Juan because I have
NEVER. I have imagined/dreamed it a few times based on the simplest acts of decency, but found out I was dead wrong and they were just being polite. > My advice to you is to befriend a girl. Yes, I’m serious. Even if
I’ve had female friends since I was a teenager. I’m always the guy they can use when they need something. They all end up "kicking me to the curb" when I’ve outlived my usefullness. > door. Don’t make the mistake I made and not take any action. You may > not like your lot in life being 22, but imagine being 31. It is > much, much harder.
I felt much the same at 17. It’s now 5 years later. 31 is NOT very far off at all, and I’ll be in exactly the same position then, single, alone, never had been in love – and still dreaming of the day, but getting that much more used to the idea it’ll never come, and that much more resigned to being alone, and a fuck load more bitter than I am now – if that’s even possible. > I know it is tough. I can’t match many of these guys, I know, but I
Women’s mentality is "I’d rather stay single then settle for second best". I’ve heard many of them say this (or something similar). And that sums up why I’ll always be single, because there’s always HUNDREDS of single, available men who are a fuck of a lot better looking than I am out there. > have seen lots of good looking women with guys I think are not as > decent looking as I am. So on one hand, it gives me hope, but on the
They’re rich. Or she is using him for something else. > Remember Darkfalz, the key is to always look at both sides of an > argument or issue and place yourself on both sides of the fence.
I place myself on women’s side. That’s why I hate them so much, because they HAVE to know they are abusing the system, being horrendously unfair, and if I acted like a woman, I’d be beside myself with guilt. Yet women behave that way without feeling the slightlest remorse. I’d love to be a women, or at least in their shoes. Women hold ALL the cards when it comes to dating, get ALL the allowances (short girls and fat girls have no problem getting men, for example) and have ALL the breaks these days.
Response:
On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 09:30:51 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey @ Home) wrote: >Knowledge is not that hard to come by – everyone has the know how to >get out of their undesirable situation.
Bullshit. BULL. SHIT. Lots of people find knowledge very hard to come by, and are therefore stranded and isolated. You think everybody went to college, grew up in a culture of self-awareness, and spends half their day hooked up to the internet? >I have no experience of marriage. Maybe success is due to the right person >being there for you – and you for her.
"Being there for you." More bullshit. >And of course, lots of work needs to be done to ensure a happy marriage. >Without so called committment, it won’t work.
Now you’re talking, pardner. What most people need to do to be successful in any long-term venture or relationship is to CHANGE something about themselves: habits, patterns of thought, emotional reactions, attitudes, something. And nothing is harder for most of us than change. That’s where the work comes in. And you’re right, without commitment the motivation waxes and wanes. >By hanging out together, I mean passing time – able to pass time together >and being happy with that – being happy in the presence of that person.
This is nebulous crap. You don’t just "pass time together" and be happy. It’s just not that simple, not when real people are involved. Wish it were. >Just as each person here, has to be happy in their own company – and if >you’re not – loneliness will seem to be a jail cell you’re padded into.
Loneliness is better than many a tortured relationship. "Hell is other people" — who said that? J-P Sartre? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Top-posting Harvey >In article <f408au0e5docovq0fel577sbfvegprf…@4ax.com>, >lance_delacr…@fastmail.fm says… >>On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 21:39:02 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey >>@ Home) wrote: >>>You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – >>>and not just what is on the surface. >>>This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, >>>because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the >>>wrong choice. >>>The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. >>>Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is >>>simply being there with that other person, just hanging out. >>Just hanging out? Ah, would that it were that simple. >>>The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, >>>that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships >>>fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad. >>Marriages fail because marriage is the most difficult relationship >>people can have, and most of us are not well prepared for it. A >>successful marriage is not "just hanging out". >>>Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect >>>with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend. >>You sound like a $5.95 "spiritual" paperback. >>>Harvey >>>In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org >>>says… >>>>In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> >>>writes: >>>>> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >>>>> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >>>>> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >>>>> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total >jerk >>>>> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other >women >>>>> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. >>>> I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of >this. >>>>Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of >them >>>>had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a >space >>>>for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy >>>>friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – >>>>drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning >>>either >>>>20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally >(NOT!) >>>>they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. >>>> I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get >that >>>>teaches them this kind of attitude? >>>>>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >>>>>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >>>>>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >>>>>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >>>>>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. >>>> A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online >>>>variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends >>>>that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, >so >>>>I started trying to make friends. >>>> I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. >I’ve >>>>met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do >>>things >>>>with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so >>>>much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time >>>>jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me >>>with >>>>lots of lovely recreation time.) >>>> Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, >>>>she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… >>>>she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally >>>>ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are >>>pretty >>>>inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier >>>to >>>>be friends with. >>>> I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt >>>>it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends >>>>with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing >them >>>>all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in >>>>women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men >are >>>>the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. >>>Maybe >>>>I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. >>>>Jet City Woman
Response:
On Sat, 30 Mar 2002 00:49:52 +1100, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote: >Pure Evil disguised as "Sharon Guthrie" <f…@encompasserve.org> wrote in >message news:wkvOp6knGvPe@eisner.encompasserve.org… >> In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" ><darkf…@algo.sys> writes: >> I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. >They all say that. >> they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. >> I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that >> teaches them this kind of attitude? >It’s called TV.
Really. Many people spend more time watching TV than doing anything else except sleeping. They’d get more of value out of masturbating or torturing frogs.
Response:
On Sat, 30 Mar 2002 00:58:36 +1100, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote: >I’ve had female friends since I was a teenager. I’m always the guy they can >use when they need something.
Right. Don’t be their girlfriend, and don’t be the "nice" guy they can count on — unless they’re coming across with what you want.
Response:
> >By hanging out together, I mean passing time – able to pass time together > >and being happy with that – being happy in the presence of that person. > This is nebulous crap. You don’t just "pass time together" and be > happy. It’s just not that simple, not when real people are involved. > Wish it were.
im a real person and i think one can pass time with another and be happy there is one person in this world that i can do that with. so its not nebulous crap. if it works for a real person that is. sure it hardly ever happens… some people just wont let it happen but it can. Nik
Response:
People do have different views and looking at things – and to understand other people, is to credit them for their view – even if you do not agree with theirs. So from crap – there is something worthwhile to find, if you want to, from crap. Another way is to say this world is filled with crap everywhere, but you can selectively pick from it – knowledge. Knowledge I’m referring to, is not of academic quality, but that of life and experience. Even if it is experience of a boring life that is filled with sadness and tears. As for passing time together, it’s as good a test as any other. Like being able to be happy together – doing nothing, then you are not distracted by the various distractions of this world, that people confuse with that of doing something of importance – like going after material stuff which doesn’t stand the test of time, or vanity/power desires which are just as immaterial/inconsequential. Being able to form that special relationship as in love – is the joining of two separate worlds in which both have to be able to relate to each other and love each other, as they are. Warts and all. Thanks for your comments. Harvey In article <b899augnfo49oa6jod944ro75jg1uks…@4ax.com>, lance_delacr…@fastmail.fm says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->On Fri, 29 Mar 2002 09:30:51 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey >@ Home) wrote: >>Knowledge is not that hard to come by – everyone has the know how to >>get out of their undesirable situation. >Bullshit. BULL. SHIT. Lots of people find knowledge very hard to >come by, and are therefore stranded and isolated. You think everybody >went to college, grew up in a culture of self-awareness, and spends >half their day hooked up to the internet? >>I have no experience of marriage. Maybe success is due to the right person >>being there for you – and you for her. >"Being there for you." More bullshit. >>And of course, lots of work needs to be done to ensure a happy marriage. >>Without so called committment, it won’t work. >Now you’re talking, pardner. What most people need to do to be >successful in any long-term venture or relationship is to CHANGE >something about themselves: habits, patterns of thought, emotional >reactions, attitudes, something. And nothing is harder for most of us >than change. That’s where the work comes in. And you’re right, >without commitment the motivation waxes and wanes. >>By hanging out together, I mean passing time – able to pass time together >>and being happy with that – being happy in the presence of that person. >This is nebulous crap. You don’t just "pass time together" and be >happy. It’s just not that simple, not when real people are involved. >Wish it were. >>Just as each person here, has to be happy in their own company – and if >>you’re not – loneliness will seem to be a jail cell you’re padded into. >Loneliness is better than many a tortured relationship. "Hell is >other people" — who said that? J-P Sartre? >>Top-posting Harvey >>In article <f408au0e5docovq0fel577sbfvegprf…@4ax.com>, >>lance_delacr…@fastmail.fm says… >>>On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 21:39:02 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey >>>@ Home) wrote: >>>>You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – >>>>and not just what is on the surface. >>>>This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, >>>>because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the >>>>wrong choice. >>>>The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. >>>>Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is >>>>simply being there with that other person, just hanging out. >>>Just hanging out? Ah, would that it were that simple. >>>>The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, >>>>that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships >>>>fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad. >>>Marriages fail because marriage is the most difficult relationship >>>people can have, and most of us are not well prepared for it. A >>>successful marriage is not "just hanging out". >>>>Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect >>>>with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend. >>>You sound like a $5.95 "spiritual" paperback. >>>>Harvey >>>>In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org >>>>says… >>>>>In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz"
<darkf…@algo.sys> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>>>writes: >>>>>> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >>>>>> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >>>>>> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >>>>>> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total >>jerk >>>>>> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other >>women >>>>>> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. >>>>> I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of >>this. >>>>>Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of >>them >>>>>had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a >>space >>>>>for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy >>>>>friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – >>>>>drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning >>>>either >>>>>20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally >>(NOT!) >>>>>they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. >>>>> I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get >>that >>>>>teaches them this kind of attitude? >>>>>>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >>>>>>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >>>>>>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >>>>>>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >>>>>>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. >>>>> A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online >>>>>variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends >>>>>that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, >>so >>>>>I started trying to make friends. >>>>> I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. >>I’ve >>>>>met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do >>>>things >>>>>with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so >>>>>much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time >>>>>jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me >>>>with >>>>>lots of lovely recreation time.) >>>>> Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, >>>>>she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… >>>>>she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally >>>>>ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are >>>>pretty >>>>>inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier >>>>to >>>>>be friends with. >>>>> I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt >>>>>it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends >>>>>with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing >>them >>>>>all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in >>>>>women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men >>are >>>>>the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. >>>>Maybe >>>>>I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. >>>>>Jet City Woman
Response:
Knowledge is not that hard to come by – everyone has the know how to get out of their undesirable situation. I have no experience of marriage. Maybe success is due to the right person being there for you – and you for her. And of course, lots of work needs to be done to ensure a happy marriage. Without so called committment, it won’t work. By hanging out together, I mean passing time – able to pass time together and being happy with that – being happy in the presence of that person. Just as each person here, has to be happy in their own company – and if you’re not – loneliness will seem to be a jail cell you’re padded into. Harvey In article <f408au0e5docovq0fel577sbfvegprf…@4ax.com>, lance_delacr…@fastmail.fm says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 21:39:02 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey >@ Home) wrote: >>You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – >>and not just what is on the surface. >>This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, >>because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the >>wrong choice. >>The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. >>Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is >>simply being there with that other person, just hanging out. >Just hanging out? Ah, would that it were that simple. >>The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, >>that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships >>fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad. >Marriages fail because marriage is the most difficult relationship >people can have, and most of us are not well prepared for it. A >successful marriage is not "just hanging out". >>Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect >>with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend. >You sound like a $5.95 "spiritual" paperback. >>Harvey >>In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org >>says… >>>In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> >>writes: >>>> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >>>> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >>>> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >>>> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk >>>> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women >>>> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. >>> I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. >>>Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of them >>>had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a space >>>for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy >>>friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – >>>drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning >>either >>>20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally (NOT!) >>>they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. >>> I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that >>>teaches them this kind of attitude? >>>>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >>>>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >>>>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >>>>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >>>>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. >>> A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online >>>variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends >>>that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so >>>I started trying to make friends. >>> I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve >>>met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do >>things >>>with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so >>>much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time >>>jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me >>with >>>lots of lovely recreation time.) >>> Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, >>>she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… >>>she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally >>>ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are >>pretty >>>inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier >>to >>>be friends with. >>> I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt >>>it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends >>>with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them >>>all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in >>>women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are >>>the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. >>Maybe >>>I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. >>>Jet City Woman
Response:
On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 21:39:02 GMT, kiwil…@paradise.net.notaus (Harvey @ Home) wrote: >You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – >and not just what is on the surface. >This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, >because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the >wrong choice. >The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. >Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is >simply being there with that other person, just hanging out.
Just hanging out? Ah, would that it were that simple. >The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, >that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships >fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad.
Marriages fail because marriage is the most difficult relationship people can have, and most of us are not well prepared for it. A successful marriage is not "just hanging out". >Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect >with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend.
You sound like a $5.95 "spiritual" paperback. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Harvey >In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org >says… >>In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> >writes: >>> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >>> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >>> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >>> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk >>> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women >>> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. >> I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. >>Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of them >>had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a space >>for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy >>friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – >>drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning >either >>20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally (NOT!) >>they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. >> I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that >>teaches them this kind of attitude? >>>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >>>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >>>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >>>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >>>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. >> A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online >>variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends >>that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so >>I started trying to make friends. >> I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve >>met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do >things >>with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so >>much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time >>jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me >with >>lots of lovely recreation time.) >> Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, >>she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… >>she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally >>ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are >pretty >>inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier >to >>be friends with. >> I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt >>it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends >>with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them >>all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in >>women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are >>the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. >Maybe >>I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. >>Jet City Woman
Response:
Sex symbols can live terrible lives – with Dudley Moore, I think his personal life was a mess, and of course fate played a terrible hand upon him. I don’t think successful people live happier lives than most – it only APPEARS to be that way on the surface. They probably have as much anxiety as anyone else (have more to lose than most – creating worry). Everyone faces their own fears, worries, doubts, etc. Harvey In article <3ca338fa.15470…@news.news-service.com>, broj…@windswept.home says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 15:38:31 +1100, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> >wrote: >>The difference is men are easily pleased in this department. Or it just so >>happens God made most women attractive enough to please most men, but didn’t >>bother making all men attractive since women were supposed to care about >>something else. But I don’t see it like that, I just think women have set >>their standards unreasonably high. >From my perspective, females have become LESS interested in male >appearance as the decades passed. Prior to the mid-60s, many singers >and actors were successful because they were physically attractive. >They certainly didn’t have talent. Females were very shallow back >then. >This seemed to change when hideous, shaggy types like Mick Jagger and >twirps like Dudley Moore became sex symbols. And check out all the >young broads today with bald guys. You wouldn’t see something like >that in, say, 1960. >Of course, if you’re a guy with $$$$$, you’ll be successful. That has >always been true throughout the history of homo sapiens. >Bro Jack
Response:
You have to accept the total package of whoever you want to be with – and not just what is on the surface. This goes for either party (man or woman) – be careful of who you wish for, because you may get exactly what you wanted – who turns out to be the wrong choice. The truth of the matter may be quite different to what you desired. Happiness is not tied up with money, success or material things – it is simply being there with that other person, just hanging out. The place or situation doesn’t matter – it is the person you are with, that matters. If you get that – you’ll know why marriages and relationships fail – and also know how to fix things up if things are going bad. Connect with the person inside – and with loneliness, you have to connect with yourself so that loneliness is not an enemy, but a friend. Harvey In article <wkvOp6knG…@eisner.encompasserve.org>, f…@encompasserve.org says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> writes: >> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk >> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women >> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. > I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. >Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of them >had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a space >for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy >friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – >drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning either >20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally (NOT!) >they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. > I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that >teaches them this kind of attitude? >>> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >>> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >>> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >>> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >>> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore. > A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online >variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends >that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so >I started trying to make friends. > I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve >met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do things >with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so >much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time >jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me with >lots of lovely recreation time.) > Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, >she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… >she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally >ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are pretty >inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier to >be friends with. > I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt >it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends >with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them >all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in >women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are >the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. Maybe >I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. >Jet City Woman
Response:
> A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online > variety, I’d never actually met any of them.
Cool! im the same way, the people i know the best are all online and either in uk or america. must make me a wierdo too. 
Nik I had no face-to-face friends – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so > I started trying to make friends. > I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve > met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do things > with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so > much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time > jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me with > lots of lovely recreation time.) > Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, > she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… > she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally > ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are pretty > inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier to > be friends with. > I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt > it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends > with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them > all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in > women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are > the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. Maybe > I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. > Jet City Woman
Response:
On 28 Mar 2002 08:12:20 -0600, f…@encompasserve.org (Sharon Guthrie) wrote: >In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> writes: >> Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, >> boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for >> themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man >> they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk >> or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women >> see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. > I’m not like that for the most part,
"For the most part…" Thank you, Sharon, thank you very much. As for me, I’m only a dick six days a week.
Response:
On Thu, 28 Mar 2002 15:38:31 +1100, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> wrote: >The difference is men are easily pleased in this department. Or it just so >happens God made most women attractive enough to please most men, but didn’t >bother making all men attractive since women were supposed to care about >something else. But I don’t see it like that, I just think women have set >their standards unreasonably high.
From my perspective, females have become LESS interested in male appearance as the decades passed. Prior to the mid-60s, many singers and actors were successful because they were physically attractive. They certainly didn’t have talent. Females were very shallow back then. This seemed to change when hideous, shaggy types like Mick Jagger and twirps like Dudley Moore became sex symbols. And check out all the young broads today with bald guys. You wouldn’t see something like that in, say, 1960. Of course, if you’re a guy with $$$$$, you’ll be successful. That has always been true throughout the history of homo sapiens. Bro Jack
Response:
In article <3ca29…@news.comindico.com.au>, "Darkfalz" <darkf…@algo.sys> writes: > Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, > boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for > themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man > they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk > or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women > see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar.
I’m not like that for the most part, but I have seen examples of this. Last summer I spent some time on a ccouple online-dating servics. One of them had a space in your profile where you put your approximate income, and a space for what you’d like your mate’s approximate income to be. One of my guy friends was showing me women who kept coming up in his match – drop-dead-gorgeous women, usually pretty space-brained, who were earning either 20K/year or undisclosed (meaning unemployed, I’m sure). Coincidentally (NOT!) they all requested that their mate earn 150K or more. I was pretty shocked. What kind of upbringing do these women get that teaches them this kind of attitude? >> your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get >> lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to >> this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is >> really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has >> reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore.
A few years ago, I realized that all my friends were of the online variety, I’d never actually met any of them. I had no face-to-face friends that I could go hang out with. I thought I was some sort of social misfit, so I started trying to make friends. I STILL don’t have any "real" friends, other than my boyfriend. I’ve met lots of people since then, but nobody who I can handg out with or do things with. But lately I’ve started to realize that it’s not that I’m a weirdo so much as people my age are pre-occupied with kids and families and full time jobs. (I have a full time job too, but no kids or family. That leaves me with lots of lovely recreation time.) Although on occasion, I’ll ask a woman out to lunch or something, she’ll say sure, but then when I try to follow up with a time or place… she’s gone. I have also noticed that many women say hi one day and totally ignore me other days. It’s confusing, and it’s not you guys. Women are pretty inconsistent, but I don’t know why. Men are much more consistent and easier to be friends with. I understand your frustration in not getting dates. I really doubt it’s you guys though. I have a hell of a time finding women to be friends with; just friends, not talking any kind of lesbian thing. After seeing them all clustered together in their little friendship groups, and reading in women’s magazines how everyone has has their circle of girlfriends and men are the Enemy… it made me think that I’m wierd or smell bad or something. Maybe I do, but I don’t think so. I think that women are just… odd. Jet City Woman
Response:
> Well, I won’t be a hypocrite — I probably wouldn’t date/marry someone > I didn’t find physically attractive either, so I can’t blame someone
The difference is men are easily pleased in this department. Or it just so happens God made most women attractive enough to please most men, but didn’t bother making all men attractive since women were supposed to care about something else. But I don’t see it like that, I just think women have set their standards unreasonably high. Women are hard (sometimes impossible) to please, because for them, boyfriends are also a competition, as well as just wanting a hot guy for themselves. They prove their OWN worth by how good looking and rich a man they can get. See, this is why it doesn’t matter if the guy is a total jerk or has the personality of a potato, because it only matters what other women see, which is a tall hunk with a Jaguar. > if she doesn’t like the way I look. I realize that I’m not very > attractive and I’ve accepted that it may be a long and lonely life, > but it doesn’t make it any easier inside. The toughest part is seeing
It’s not easy to accept. Even harder when you realise "never" as in "I’ll never have a girlfriend" doesn’t even entail many long years. It’ll already have been "forever" by the time you are maybe in your late thirties, because by then there’s simply no point in starting a relationship (ie. for the first time). Not only will you have absolutely no clue how a relationship works, and the only single women will be women coming off their third broken marriage with 5 kids, but you’ll be so used to being alone it won’t be possible to live any other way, to accept or give love in a relationship. Missing out on dating in the formative years of adolescence is damaging enough, but if that continues throughout your early 20’s, you’re fucked, plain and simple, and it’s impossible to "catch up". So that’s the most shocking part, that "the rest of my life" virtually means even in just the next 5-15 years, because those are the years that count. > your friends all get married and little by little, your weekends get > lonelier and the phone stops ringing. Even worse (and unrelated to > this discussion) is that I have a brother who is very young and is > really what kept me going over the last decade, but even he has > reached an age where he doesn’t need me anymore.
You know something that really fucked me up? When I found out my younger brother by 4 years had a girlfriend already… I can’t tell you how shitty and "missed the boat" that made me feel. > Now back to the topic we’re discussing. I have been fortunate in > that when I have asked someone out, they have at least been nice when > they rejected me — at least to my face. And conversely, when I’ve
But that’s worse though. When they act like they’re sorry they "had" to say no, and then go have a big laugh to all their friends. Happened to me on several occasions. > been approached by someone who I wasn’t attracted to, I was very nice > to them because I realized a couple of things:
I’ve never had a girl express interest me in my life. The concept is just alien to me. Girls have, on occasion, been nice to me when they needed a favour, but they seem to forget what you did for them a day later and don’t even return a hello. But I get to see girls flirt with guys every day… or talk amongst themselves about some "really cute guy" they met, and that’s really tough… that is when I start having homocidal thoughts, sometimes about the lucky guys too. > 1. They aren’t mean, evil people who are approaching me just for > kicks. They are just trying to make a life for themselves and they > thought enough of me to try to make me a part of it.
Actually, I have been asked out in high school a few times, but always as cruel practical jokes. So if it happened these days, I’d probably say something like "and the punchline is…?" – but I figure if they were genuine they’d make some effort to show me so. All just fantasy though, since (thankfully, I guess) girls tend to outgrow at least that particular hurtful behaviour when they leave high school. > 2. They aren’t any less of a human being just because I’m not > attracted to them.
Stop to think though, that if you consider (perhaps harshly) that they are well below your level, that they figured you were so ugly and pathetic you couldn’t possibly say no, even to them. > I will do so.
I’ll write you back tonight 
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Filed under: Happiness Loneliness
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