A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part One of Two Parts)

Question:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four/Five of Five Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three of Three Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "www.google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra to help novices understand the difference. I believe that most United States novices have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., kundalini). For the record, I do _not_ practice and I do _not_ recommend kundalini (anal intercourse). Personally, I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’ and I control my private home. However, IMO the anal orifice did _not_ evolve for this purpose and is _not_ designed for this purpose. IMO the anal orifice has greater susceptibility to physical damage (muscle tearing) than the female vagina. (IMO so-called ‘butt plugs’ were invented to solve a sanitary problem. IMO butt plugs were _not_ invented as sensuous devices.) And IMO intestinal microbes can cause epidemiological problems. (E.g., some forms of hepatitus can be transmitted when food servers do not wash their hands thoroughly after using the restroom.) I choose _not_ to travel this path. I recommend that others considering traveling this path investigate nonconstipating diets, and investigate their state’s laws (if any) concerning sodomy. For the record, I do _not_ employ and do _not_ recommend physical pain as a means to achieve or prolong orgasm. I know that some tribal societies [both Native American (as depicted in the film 'A Man Called Horse' starring Richard Harris) and Hindu (as depicted by PBS documentaries) employ/ed physical pain [piercing of (sometimes nonmuscular) soft tissue areas with (later weighted) pencil-thick wooden skewers] as a means to reach and to prolong a worshipful (drugfree semidelusional) state of nirvana. (Western) neo-Tantra recognizes both physical orgasm and (nonphysical neurological) mental orgasm. I have experienced both physical orgasm and mental orgasm in painfree drugfree environments. Pain is _not_ necessary to achieve orgasm. Painful practices can cause bodily damage. I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’. But inflicting pain can become NONconsentually imposing discipline. I choose _not_ to travel this path. I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might forgo neo-Tantra altogether. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read neo-Tantra books when REAL Tantra books are available?" Neo-Tantra emphasizes the pleasurable aspects of (Eastern) Tantra and of Taoism. IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while IMO (Eastern) Tantra and its physical (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. The accompanying Part Two message lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra exercises requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Some people might equate all-weather jogging with painful physical discipline. I equate all-weather jogging with antilazy mental self-discipline. I control my pace and duration, and I gradually worked up to my current performance level. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a neo-Tantra-relevant sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. (Drawn depictions of Pagan gods usually feature impressive thighs.) Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — stretching limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase

Response:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four/Five of Five Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three of Three Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "www.google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra to help novices understand the difference. I believe that most United States novices have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). <* For the record, I do _not_ practice and I do _not_ recommend kundalini (anal intercourse). Personally, I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’ and I control my private home. However, IMO the anal orifice did _not_ evolve for this purpose and is _not_ designed for this purpose. IMO the anal orifice has greater susceptibility to physical damage (muscle tearing) than the female vagina. (IMO so-called ‘butt plugs’ were invented to solve a sanitary problem. IMO butt plugs were _not_ invented as sensuous devices.) And IMO intestinal microbes can cause epidemiological problems. (E.g., some forms of hepatitus can be transmitted when food servers do not wash their hands thoroughly after using the restroom.) I choose _not_ to travel this path. I recommend that others considering traveling this path investigate nonconstipating diets, and investigate their state’s laws (if any) concerning sodomy. <* For the record, I do _not_ employ and do _not_ recommend physical pain as a means to achieve or prolong orgasm. I know that some tribal societies [both Native American (as depicted in the film 'A Man Called Horse' starring Richard Harris) and Hindu (as depicted by PBS documentaries) employ/ed physical pain [piercing of (sometimes nonmuscular) soft tissue areas with (later weighted) pencil-thick wooden skewers] as a means to reach and to prolong a worshipful (drugfree semidelusional) state of nirvana. (Western) neo-Tantra recognizes both physical orgasm and (nonphysical neurological) mental orgasm. I have experienced both physical orgasm and mental orgasm in painfree drugfree environments. Pain is _not_ necessary to achieve orgasm. Painful practices can cause bodily damage. I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’. But inflicting pain can become NONconsentually imposing discipline. I choose _not_ to travel this path. I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might forgo neo-Tantra altogether. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read neo-Tantra books when REAL Tantra books are available?" Neo-Tantra emphasizes the pleasurable aspects of (Eastern) Tantra and of Taoism. IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while IMO (Eastern) Tantra and its physical (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. The accompanying Part Two message lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra exercises requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Some people might equate all-weather jogging with painful physical discipline. I equate all-weather jogging with antilazy mental self-discipline. I control my pace and duration, and I gradually worked up to my current performance level. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a neo-Tantra-relevant sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. (Drawn depictions of Pagan gods usually feature impressive thighs.) Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — stretching limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word

Response:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four/Five of Five Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three of Three Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra to help novices understand the difference. I believe that most United States novices have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). <* For the record, I do _not_ practice and I do _not_ recommend Kundalini (anal intercourse). I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’. IMO the anal orifice did _not_ evolve for this purpose and is _not_ designed for this purpose. IMO the anal orifice has greater susceptibility to physical damage (muscle tearing) than the female vagina. (IMO so-called ‘butt plugs’ were invented to solve a sanitary problem. IMO butt plugs were _not_ invented as sensuous devices.) And IMO intestinal microbes can cause epidemiological problems. (E.g., some forms of hepatitus can be transmitted when food servers do not wash their hands thoroughly after using the restroom.) I choose _not_ to travel this path. <* For the record, I do _not_ employ and do _not_ recommend physical pain as a means to achieve or prolong orgasm. I know that some tribal societies [both Native American (as depicted in the film 'A Man Called Horse' starrig Richard Harris) and Hindu (as depicted by PBS documentaries) employ/ed physical pain [piercing of soft tissue areas with (later weighted) pencil-thick wooden skewers] as a means to reach and to prolong a worshipful (drugfree semidelusional) state of nirvana. (Western) neo-Tantra recognizes both physical orgasm and (nonphysical neurological) mental orgasm. I have experienced both physical orgasm and mental orgasm in painfree drugfree environments. Pain is _not_ necessary to achieve orgasm. Painful practices can cause bodily damage. I recognize the legal concept of ‘consenting adults in the privacy of their own homes’. But inflicting pain can become NONconsentually imposing discipline. I choose _not_ to travel this path. I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might forgo neo-Tantra altogether. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. <* Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read neo-Tantra books when REAL Tantra books are available?" Neo-Tantra emphasizes the pleasurable aspects of (Eastern) Tantra and of Taoism. IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while IMO (Eastern) Tantra and its physical (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. The accompanying Part Two message lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra exercises requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. <* The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Some people might equate all-weather jogging with painful physical discipline. I equate all-weather jogging with antilazy mental self-discipline. I control my pace and duration, and I gradually worked up to my current performance level. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a neo-Tantra-relevant sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. (Drawn depictions of Pagan gods usually feature impressive thighs.) Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — stretching limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] <* Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies ‘STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY’ and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. Please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior … read more »

Response:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four/Five of Five Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three of Three Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra to help novices understand the difference. I believe that most United States novices have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might forgo neo-Tantra altogether. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. <* Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read neo-Tantra books when REAL Tantra books are available?" Neo-Tantra emphasizes the pleasurable aspects of (Eastern) Tantra and of Taoism. IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its physical (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. The accompanying Part Two message lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra exercises requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies ‘STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY’ and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion — misinterpretation can be painful. Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter partners who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness [e.g., Bab's drinking, Joe's workaholism (he's never at home) or Joe's occupational difficulties (Joe keeps strange work hours and nobody understands his profession)]. The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This out-of-context behaviour never is discussed, but obviously these partners employ the safe word ‘fight’ to stop each other’s uncomfortable/embarrassing social behaviour. I can only guess why partners choose ‘fight’ for their safe word. ;- I consider ‘fight’ to be a poor and inflammatory choice of safe words among casual companions or total strangers — what works with your partner might be misinterpreted by other people as a threat. IMO turning and walking away instead of using canned ’safe phrases’ is more appropriate behaviour when (inadvertantly or accidentally?) insulted by casual companions or total strangers. And IMO if a person receives continual insults from companions, they need better companions. I also encounter NON-neo-Tantra group situations where politically not correct behaviour is frowned … read more »

Response:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker (none this time). Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four of Four Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two of Two Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra so that novices will understand the difference. I believe that most novices in the United States have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but if it is, the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might choose to forgo magick use altogether, and to pursue their goals using mundane methods exclusively. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read books about neo-Tantra when there are books out there about REAL Tantra? If you want to learn something ancient, then read the books about the ancient, and not modern interpretation and rewriting based on the ancient." IMO ancient does not equate to appropriate. This document lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. (Eastern) Tantra evolved in a Hinduism/Taoism environment where people on mystical quests lived lives of sacrifice and (self-)discipline. Neo-Tantra is a Western filtration of (Eastern) Tantra that retains techniques bringing pleasure and intimacy to sexual partners. In addition, neo-Tantra practitioners easily can avoid the physically painful (Eastern) Tantra exercises designed to achieve Nirvana (which IMO is a *semi-delusional* mental state). IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. A reader ridiculed my suggestion that women should wear appropriate sports bras during strenuous exercise, and that partners should be sensitive to each other's comfort during exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies ‘STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY’ and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion — misinterpretation can be painful. Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter partners who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness [e.g., Bab's drinking, Joe's workaholism (he's never at home) or Joe's occupational difficulties (Joe keeps strange work hours and nobody understands his profession)]. The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This

Response:

Copyright 2003-2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four of Four Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two of Two Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra so that novices will understand the difference. I believe that most novices in the United States have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but if it is, the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might choose to forgo magick use altogether, and to pursue their goals using mundane methods exclusively. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read books about neo-Tantra when there are books out there about REAL Tantra? If you want to learn something ancient, then read the books about the ancient, and not modern interpretation and rewriting based on the ancient." IMO ancient does not equate to appropriate. This document lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. (Eastern) Tantra evolved in a Hinduism/Taoism environment where people on mystical quests lived lives of sacrifice and (self-)discipline. Neo-Tantra is a Western filtration of (Eastern) Tantra that retains techniques bringing pleasure and intimacy to sexual partners. In addition, neo-Tantra practitioners easily can avoid the physically painful (Eastern) Tantra exercises designed to achieve Nirvana (which IMO is a *semi-delusional* mental state). IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. A reader ridiculed my suggestion that women should wear appropriate sports bras during strenuous exercise, and that partners should be sensitive to each other's comfort during exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies ‘STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY’ and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion — misinterpretation can be painful. Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter partners who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness [e.g., Bab's drinking, Joe's workaholism (he's never at home) or Joe's occupational difficulties (Joe keeps strange work hours and nobody understands his profession)]. The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This out-of-context … read more »

Response:

Copyright 2003, 2004 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four of Four Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two of Two Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra so that novices will understand the difference. I believe that most novices in the United States have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but if it is, the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might choose to forgo magick use altogether, and to pursue their goals using mundane methods exclusively. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read books about neo-Tantra when there are books out there about REAL Tantra? If you want to learn something ancient, then read the books about the ancient, and not modern interpretation and rewriting based on the ancient." IMO ancient does not equate to appropriate. This document lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. (Eastern) Tantra evolved in a Hinduism/Taoism environment where people on mystical quests lived lives of sacrifice and (self-)discipline. Neo-Tantra is a Western filtration of (Eastern) Tantra that retains techniques bringing pleasure and intimacy to sexual partners. In addition, neo-Tantra practitioners easily can avoid the physically painful (Eastern) Tantra exercises designed to achieve Nirvana (which IMO is a *semi-delusional* mental state). IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra exercises can be performed by novices having limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. A reader ridiculed my suggestion that women should wear appropriate sports bras during strenuous exercise, and that partners should be sensitive to each other's comfort during exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities.] Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies ‘STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY’ and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion — misinterpretation can be painful. Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter partners who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness [e.g., Bab's drinking, Joe's workaholism (he's never at home) or Joe's occupational difficulties (Joe keeps strange work hours and nobody understands his profession)]. The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This out-of-context … read more »

Response:

Copyright 2003 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Copyright 2003 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)".

<snip I choose _not_ to discuss the subject of older women and in vitro fertilization. I choose _not_ to discuss the subject of fertile women with anonymous boyfriends. (On the television series "Happy Days", Fonzi was an attractive character but to my knowledge Fonzi never had a girlfriend.)

<* IMO men and women have different perspectives concerning infants. Some women view motherhood as ‘a second career’ — a new beginning after leaving their first career in the workplace. Taken to extremes and in the context of 21st Century jurisprudence, motherhood can be viewed as a twenty-plus-year career with financial tenure. And IMO broadcast television (both a trendsetter and a social barometer) increasingly revolves around ‘the joys of (single) parenthood’. ’Rosie The Riveter’ no longer is honored, and Dad increasingly is absent from the (affluent and glamorous?) single female parent environment often portrayed in 21st Century broadcast commercial messages. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<* The decision to have children has *major economic consequences*, and this decision will become increasingly popular with women if the United States’ domestic economy (and job market) downsizes further, becoming leaner and meaner with automation increasingly eliminating non-professional jobs. [IMO (lack of) quality higher education is an issue in the 21st Century United States.] The increasingly popular 21st Century female social trend towards motherhood in turn might adversely affect males’ (friendly) attitudes towards their female partners. And if ‘not disturbing the children’ becomes the basis for family living, IMO the children are tools of social control and an _childish_ unstable family environment might result. <* Birth control is based upon *mutual respect and mutual good faith*. IMO when used with mutual respect and mutual good faith, modern birth control is *extremely* effective. IMO when used with mutual respect and mutual good faith, birth control is *possible*. IMO coital abstinence is the only foolproof birth (and financial) ***control*** method — this is a *dominance* issue rather than a biological issue. In cases where (male) fear of pregnancy motivates concern, I believe the situation signals _unresolved lifestyle goals_.

<snip The comments contained herein are my opinions. This message was not solicited by Amazon.com, any author, any artist, or their agent(s), publisher(s), producer(s) or distributor(s). I do not know if the television series name "Happy Days" or the character Fonzi ("The Fonz") are copyrighted or registered trade marks of George Lucas, Ron Howard, Henry Winkler or their associates. I thank them for their inspiration. I am *not* legally qualified to provide medical, psychological, legal, financial or religious opinions, but I have discussed some issues with my Attorney and have read extensively in these areas. I have strong opinions. I got no problems. Other people got problems. 00: 21 _8 02 03/35 06 09 Richard Ballard MSEE CNA4 KD0AZ — Consultant specializing in computer networks, imaging & security Listed as rjballard in "Friends & Favorites" at www.amazon.com Last book reviews: "Necronomicon" & "Necronomicon Spellbook" by Ed Simon

Response:

Copyright 2003 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". <* Approximately twenty-one days before each of the eight annual Pagan sabbats I issue copyrighted multipart messages titled "Definitions For Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two/Three/Four of Four Parts)" and "A Reference List for Prospective Wiccan Novices (Part One/Two of Two Parts)", respectively. These copyrighted multipart messages appear on Internet newsgroups alt.magick, alt.magick.tyagi, alt.pagan and alt.religion.wicca. These copyrighted multipart messages also are archived within "google.com" (no quotes). I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra so that novices will understand the difference. I believe that most novices in the United States have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but if it is, the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might choose to forgo magick use altogether, and to pursue their goals using mundane methods exclusively. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read books about neo-Tantra when there are books out there about REAL Tantra? If you want to learn something ancient, then read the books about the ancient, and not modern intrepetation and rewriting based on the ancient." IMO ancient does not equate to appropriate. This document lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. (Eastern) Tantra evolved in a Hinduism/Taoism environment where people on mystical quests lived lives of sacrifice and (self-)discipline. Neo-Tantra is a Western filtration of (Eastern) Tantra that retains techniques bringing pleasure and intimacy to sexual partners. In addition, neo-Tantra practitioners easily can avoid the physically painful (Eastern) Tantra exercises designed to achieve Nirvana (which IMO is a *semi-delusional* mental state). IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra can be performed by novices with limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. A reader ridiculed my suggestion that women should wear appropriate sports bras during strenuous exercise, and that partners should be sensitive to each other's comfort during exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities. Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies 'STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY' and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion -- misinterpretation can be painful.] Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. <* Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter married couples who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness [e.g., Bab's drinking, Joe's workaholism (he's never at home) or Joe's occupational difficulties (Joe keeps strange work hours and nobody understands his profession)]. The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This out-of-context … read more »

Response:

Copyright 2003 by Richard J. Ballard — All Rights Reserved. Issued monthly. Each issue’s new and significantly changed paragraphs begin with a <* marker. Part Two is contained in a concurrent, copyrighted message titled "A neo-Tantra Reference List (Part Two of Two Parts)". I believe that (Western) neo-Tantra is very relevant to Magickians, to Pagans, to witches and Wiccans, and to others interested in human fertility and sexuality. Novices interested in neo-Tantra might have difficulty obtaining *good* information about the subject. A wealth of information on (Western) neo-Tantra and (Eastern) Tantra *is* available on the Internet — too much information. A simple Google search on the word ‘neo-Tantra’ gives over 400 entries, while a Google search on the word ‘Tantra’ gives over 300,000 entries. Reviewing that much information is akin to ‘taking a drink out of a firehose’ — it does not necessarily quench your thirst. I have compiled this commented short "A neo-Tantra Reference List" — a terse list of clearly-written texts (that I own, and have read or browsed) primarily about (Western) neo-Tantra but also discussing (Eastern) Tantra so that novices will understand the difference. I believe that most novices in the United States have greater interest in (Western) neo-Tantra than in (Eastern) Tantra with its sometimes *painful* discipline (e.g., Kundalini). I acknowledge that some neo-Tantra practitioners [so-called 'Tantrums', an appropriate designation for neo-Tantra practitioners who sometimes feel un(der)appreciated] believe that reading is not sufficient to learn neo-Tantra — some Tantrums believe that tutelage by an accomplished neo-Tantra instructor is required. Everyone does not live in an area where well-known neo-Tantra instructors are available, everyone can not afford neo-Tantra tutelage, and some individuals choose to reserve neo-Tantra contact to a well-known close friend(s). I have had tutelage and I have read texts. I believe that anybody reading well-written texts and practicing with a well-known friendly partner can obtain most of neo-Tantra’s benefits — increased closeness from sharing an intimate experience, healthful exercise, and increased body flexibility. In a lighter vein, ‘Reading the directions is the last refuge of the COMPETENT.’ I do not know if the word ‘Tantrum’ is based in Latin, but if it is, the Latin plural of ‘Tantrum’ is ‘Tantra’. I prefer the plural usage ‘Tantrums’ to avoid confusion when discussing neo-Tantrum practioners versus discussing Eastern Tantra. Magickian apprentices might have another issue with tutelage by accomplished neo-Tantra instructors: cost. Cost-based neo-Tantra instruction can be awkward. When the apprentice runs out of cash and credit and needs magickal assistance the greatest, the instruction stops. Disagreements over money are all too common, and IMO disagreements tarnish a shining magickal relationship. Given the possibility of losing their (unreliable) magick exactly when they need it most, some magickal apprentices might choose to forgo magick use altogether, and to pursue their goals using mundane methods exclusively. Magickally speaking, this strategy is analogous to the statement "I prefer no companions to bad or unreliable companions." I have been told this latter statement boastfully demonstrates my ignorance of both magick and neo-Tantra. I believe my statement illustrates free will. The act of giving neo-Tantra instruction freely is itself magickal. The magick of free instruction strengthens the neo-Tantra instruction, making the instruction memorable, effective and longer-lasting. Some people trivialize neo-Tantra — they say "Why read books about neo-Tantra when there are books out there about REAL Tantra? If you want to learn something ancient, then read the books about the ancient, and not modern intrepetation and rewriting based on the ancient." IMO ancient does not equate to appropriate. This document lists five texts and one FAQ. Three of the texts discuss neo-Tantra, one text discusses interpersonal relationship psychology mixed with neo-Tantra, and one text discusses the mystical experiences achievable through (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. The listed FAQ stresses (Eastern) Tantra (self-)discipline. (Eastern) Tantra evolved in a Hinduism/Taoism environment where people on mystical quests lived lives of sacrifice and (self-)discipline. Neo-Tantra is a Western filtration of (Eastern) Tantra that retains techniques bringing pleasure and intimacy to sexual partners. In addition, neo-Tantra practitioners easily can avoid the physically painful (Eastern) Tantra exercises designed to achieve Nirvana (which IMO is a *semi-delusional* mental state). IMO neo-Tantra assists Western couples to strengthen their relationships, while (Eastern) Tantra and its (self-)discipline is less appropriate and less palatable to most Westerners. I discuss the texts that *I* believe are appropriate and useful. Others are free to discuss the texts that *they* believe are appropriate and useful. That’s fair. Some people say that I trivialize Tantra and neo-Tantra. These people say that if a person seeks increased intimacy, healthful exercise and increased body flexibility, why not just run a mile, do some stretching, and have a private dinner with your partner? I have three answers to this question. The first answer is that running a mile, stretching, and having cocktails while your partner prepares dinner does *not* build intimacy between partners — mutual shared activity builds and reinforces intimacy between partners. Neo-Tantra should be a *friendly* activity shared between partners. The second answer is that while fitness enhances neo-Tantra pleasure, a novice need not be able to run a mile in order to derive enjoyment from neo-Tantra. *Some* neo-Tantra can be performed by novices with limited fitness and flexibility. As Tantrum novices’ fitness and flexibility improves with practice, they can progress to neo-Tantra requiring additional fitness and flexibility. Use caution when trying new neo-Tantra exercises (or partners) for the first time. The third answer reflects my personal philosophy. I have jogged at least once daily (in the United States Midwest) since May 31, 1999 without missing — including one-hundred degree (F) heat; including two degree (F) cold with sixteen MPH winds and blowing snow; and including a heavy rain/hailstone storm. Currently I jog three miles daily carrying two three-pound handweights and as a result can lift one-hundred-fifty pounds from a sitting position. Jogging with handweights *does* complement neo-Tantra — it builds your leg, back, shoulder and arm muscles and improves your posture. Stretching *is* beneficial prior to neo-Tantra — it limbers your muscles for any physical strain that might occur during neo-Tantra. And *both* partners can jog and stretch prior to performing neo-Tantra. [BTW, I believe that women should wear appropriate 'sports bras' while jogging, and that both men and women should be sensitive to their partner's comfort during neo-Tantra and other exercise. <* A reader ridiculed my suggestion that women should wear appropriate sports bras during strenuous exercise, and that partners should be sensitive to each other's comfort during exercise. I am not going to make crude jokes about 'Leave me breathless' or about (a-hem) 'The Nutcracker Sweet'. I merely will comment that the human body contains sensitive so-called 'soft tissues' that contain nerves but no bone, cartilage or muscle. These soft tissues are prone to tearing, and once torn do _not_ naturally heal -- pain, damage and disfigurement are possible. Proper equipment and caring attitudes minimize these possibilities. Please utilize prearranged *safe words*. Safe words are an easily memorable, short distinctive phrase not likely to be spoken during neo-Tantra. Either partner voicing the safe word phrase signifies 'STOP and DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY' and usually signifies the partner is experiencing acute discomfort. And please do *not* assume a new partner will recognize your personal safe word phrase without prior discussion -- misinterpretation can be painful.] <* Another reader ridiculed the safe word concept, stating "Why not merely say STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY?" IMO this is matter or personal preference, but I believe that the safe word/phrase concept is superior. Neo-Tantra creates a ritualistic environment, a fragile environment that can be shattered by crude shouts of ‘STOP AND DISENGAGE IMMEDIATELY, DAMMIT’. A safe word/phrase can be chosen that either preserves the ritualistic environment [the idea being that we will (a-hem) rearrange ourselves and then continue the ritual] or is funny [the idea being that if we need the safe word/phrase we also will need some humor]. <* Safe words/phrases are not exclusive to neo-Tantra. Increasingly I encounter married couples who obviously have been through formal counseling. During social conversation one partner will begin discussing the other partner’s problem or weakness (e.g., Bab’s drinking, Joe’s workaholism — he’s never at home ). The other partner interrupts the discussion with an out-of-context comment: ‘fight’. Both partners immediately change the discussion subject. This out-of-context behaviour never is discussed, but obviously this couple employ the safe word ‘fight’ to stop each other’s uncomfortable/embarrassing social behaviour. I can only guess why a couple choses ‘fight’ for their safe word. ;- <* I also encounter NON-neo-Tantra group situations where politically not correct behaviour is frowned upon _formally_. Specifically, the group employs a ‘cop’ (an individual who group members feel is physically threatening but who has self-control) either monetarily or on a volunteer basis. When another person engages during group activities in behaviour deemed not politically correct, the physically … read more »

Response:

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Lonely Loneliness

You are not alone — Lonely Loneliness