It's killing my wife
Question:
"Flavius" <nob…@nowhere.com> wrote in message
news:nr4d0vs5oat2tok64okg4p2pb451a7tpv1@4ax.com… > On 22 Dec 2002 20:28:43 -0800, Doug Anderson <ethelthe…@yahoo.com> > wrote: > >Not that I have any actual interest in this thread, but if you don’t > >know how to be mean without raising your voice, then you _really_ need > >lessons in something! > Yeah, become a Republican.
OR, take care of him so much that he becomes totally helpless and dependant on the system. Then you are a democrat. *cough welfare
Response:
"Richard" <RRa…@Spame.not> wrote in message <news:MPxN9.69$%e4.203057@news.uswest.net>… > That was a very frightening response. Victoria, you say you know ‘GAWD’ > from the Bible. You want a man to be a leader, but you want to be sure. > You say you ‘couldn’t’ be mean, but you are ready to withold the one thing > required of you, trust. > What’s meaner than that? > R
Richard, That’s not mean because trust is earned. The Spirit of God never deceives, man does. That’s what the Lord demonstrated to you when he took OUR sins to the cross and died. Who betrayed him and abandoned him? God? Nope. It was man. The Spirit of God speaks through us, that’s how you trust that his Word will not fail. His Power is too strong to be argued with. Victoria
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len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:26707-3E06E952-525@storefull-2273.public.lawson.webtv.net>… > Victoria, > The silent treatment works just fine. Not all the time, just when you > are being disrespected.
That wouldn’t work I don’t think. Not for someone who is hard to stir. Victoria
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Merry Xmas Victoria, God bless…..Len
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Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter intuitive.
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len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… > Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you > can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please > remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter > intuitive.
I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. Thank you. Victoria
Response:
On 22 Dec 2002 08:37:36 -0800, vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) wrote: >len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… >> Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you >> can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please >> remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter >> intuitive. >I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. >Thank you. >Victoria
Apparently you are so desperately in need of his lessons, that you do not even recognize the need.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -jd…@yahoo.com (Subversionmania) wrote in message <news:3e061d99.742173858@news.cis.dfn.de>… > On 22 Dec 2002 08:37:36 -0800, vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) wrote: > >len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… > >> Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you > >> can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please > >> remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter > >> intuitive. > >I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. > >Thank you. > >Victoria > Apparently you are so desperately in need of his lessons, that you do > not even recognize the need.
He said to be ‘mean’ to a man. I rarely even raise my voice, so how could I be mean? (not that I really want to know). Victoria
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) writes: > jd…@yahoo.com (Subversionmania) wrote in message <news:3e061d99.742173858@news.cis.dfn.de>… > > On 22 Dec 2002 08:37:36 -0800, vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) wrote: > > >len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… > > >> Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you > > >> can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please > > >> remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter > > >> intuitive. > > >I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. > > >Thank you. > > >Victoria > > Apparently you are so desperately in need of his lessons, that you do > > not even recognize the need. > He said to be ‘mean’ to a man. I rarely even raise my voice, so how > could I be mean? (not that I really want to know).
Not that I have any actual interest in this thread, but if you don’t know how to be mean without raising your voice, then you _really_ need lessons in something!
Response:
That was a very frightening response. Victoria, you say you know ‘GAWD’ from the Bible. You want a man to be a leader, but you want to be sure. You say you ‘couldn’t’ be mean, but you are ready to withold the one thing required of you, trust. What’s meaner than that? R <snip> "Victoria" <vikt0…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:96ecc749.0212222003.2812b763@posting.google.com… > jd…@yahoo.com (Subversionmania) wrote in message
<news:3e061d99.742173858@news.cis.dfn.de>… > > On 22 Dec 2002 08:37:36 -0800, vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) wrote: > > >len…@webtv.net wrote in message
<news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > >> Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If you > > >> can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please > > >> remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not counter > > >> intuitive. > > >I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. > > >Thank you. > > >Victoria > > Apparently you are so desperately in need of his lessons, that you do > > not even recognize the need. > He said to be ‘mean’ to a man. I rarely even raise my voice, so how > could I be mean? (not that I really want to know). > Victoria
Response:
On Sun, 22 Dec 2002 22:15:22 -0800, "Richard" <RRa…@Spame.not> wrote: >That was a very frightening response. Victoria, you say you know ‘GAWD’ >from the Bible. You want a man to be a leader, but you want to be sure. >You say you ‘couldn’t’ be mean, but you are ready to withold the one thing >required of you, trust. >What’s meaner than that? >R
Tying a person up, smashing his bones, then ripping the skin off of his body with a pair of vise grips, and pouring salt in the wounds would be meaner than withholding trust. Subversionmania – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -><snip> >"Victoria" <vikt0…@yahoo.com> wrote in message >news:96ecc749.0212222003.2812b763@posting.google.com… >> jd…@yahoo.com (Subversionmania) wrote in message ><news:3e061d99.742173858@news.cis.dfn.de>… >> > On 22 Dec 2002 08:37:36 -0800, vikt0…@yahoo.com (Victoria) wrote: >> > >len…@webtv.net wrote in message ><news:23249-3E04FF33-98@storefull-2274.public.lawson.webtv.net>… >> > >> Victoria, If you ever want to keep a man…..be mean to him ….If >you >> > >> can not understand that, you have alot to learn about life. Please >> > >> remember that the basic truths in life are more often than not >counter >> > >> intuitive. >> > >I don’t need your ‘lessons’ about life. >> > >Thank you. >> > >Victoria >> > Apparently you are so desperately in need of his lessons, that you do >> > not even recognize the need. >> He said to be ‘mean’ to a man. I rarely even raise my voice, so how >> could I be mean? (not that I really want to know). >> Victoria
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Victoria, The silent treatment works just fine. Not all the time, just when you are being disrespected.
Response:
<len…@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:26707-3E0381FF-66@storefull-2273.public.lawson.webtv.net… > It is also abvious WHY your name is rancid!
Indeed it is 
Response:
On Fri, 20 Dec 2002 09:20:22 -0500 (EST), len…@webtv.net wrote: >Sir, your psycho babble has nothing to do with the real world. The >important thing here is to get the upper hand before any talks begin. >The first rule of human psychology….never let your cheating spouse >know how much they hurt you as they could probably care less anyway. You >can not approach dishonesty and betrayal with an openess and honesty . >Remeber the two basic rules of an affair 1/ If accused deny it and 2/ If >caught say as little as possible. Deal with a cheating situation with >your head, not your heart if you want to gain control over your life.
Very insightful.
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It is also abvious WHY your name is rancid!
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len…@webtv.net wrote in message <news:5979-3E032726-11@storefull-2278.public.lawson.webtv.net>… > Sir, your psycho babble has nothing to do with the real world. The > important thing here is to get the upper hand before any talks begin. > The first rule of human psychology….never let your cheating spouse > know how much they hurt you as they could probably care less anyway. You > can not approach dishonesty and betrayal with an openess and honesty . > Remeber the two basic rules of an affair 1/ If accused deny it and 2/ If > caught say as little as possible. Deal with a cheating situation with > your head, not your heart if you want to gain control over your life.
You are making matters worse, don’t you think? Victoria
Response:
<len…@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:5979-3E032726-11@storefull-2278.public.lawson.webtv.net… > Sir, your psycho babble has nothing to do with the real world. The > important thing here is to get the upper hand before any talks begin. > The first rule of human psychology….never let your cheating spouse > know how much they hurt you as they could probably care less anyway. You > can not approach dishonesty and betrayal with an openess and honesty . > Remeber the two basic rules of an affair 1/ If accused deny it and 2/ If > caught say as little as possible. Deal with a cheating situation with > your head, not your heart if you want to gain control over your life.
It’s plainly obvious WHY she had an affair. Congrats!
Response:
>From: Flavius >On Fri, 20 Dec 2002 09:20:22 -0500 (EST), len…@webtv.net wrote: >>as they could probably care less anyway >oh oh
ROFLMAO. You totally crack me up orpheus. Lenny Babe….could you or could you NOT care less. Take a stance.
Response:
Marriage shouldn’t be viewed as a competition where each spouse ties to "get the upper hand" over the other in ANY situation, even one as painful & hurtful as your situation. Perhaps your competitive, controlling attitude was part of the problem within your marriage that resulted in your wife having an affair. <len…@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:5979-3E032726-11@storefull-2278.public.lawson.webtv.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sir, your psycho babble has nothing to do with the real world. The > important thing here is to get the upper hand before any talks begin. > The first rule of human psychology….never let your cheating spouse > know how much they hurt you as they could probably care less anyway. You > can not approach dishonesty and betrayal with an openess and honesty . > Remeber the two basic rules of an affair 1/ If accused deny it and 2/ If > caught say as little as possible. Deal with a cheating situation with > your head, not your heart if you want to gain control over your life.
Response:
Sir, your psycho babble has nothing to do with the real world. The important thing here is to get the upper hand before any talks begin. The first rule of human psychology….never let your cheating spouse know how much they hurt you as they could probably care less anyway. You can not approach dishonesty and betrayal with an openess and honesty . Remeber the two basic rules of an affair 1/ If accused deny it and 2/ If caught say as little as possible. Deal with a cheating situation with your head, not your heart if you want to gain control over your life.
Response:
That I still treat her nice and do not mention the affair she knows I found out about her having. That is my revenge……..
Response:
In article <28848-3E02ADF9-…@storefull-2275.public.lawson.webtv.net>, len…@webtv.net wrote: > That I still treat her nice and do not mention the affair she knows I > found out about her having. That is my revenge……..
1) An affair is a symptom of an "illness" withing the marriage – problem(s) that might be fixed. 2) The problem(s) within the marriage can only be fixed identifying them and addressing them – which means talking about them. 3) Treating her nice and not mentioning the affair, particularly as a means of revenge, keep the problems hidden and unresolved, where they are most likely to grow until the marriage is unable to survive. So now you have a call to make – what do you want: to kill your wife/have your revenge or to attempt reconciliation and restoration? Here is a wild thought. Perhaps your inclination towards revenge, is related to the underlying problems. I don’t mean to blame you entirely – she is responsible for the affair – but the dynamics within any interpersonal relationship involve both of the two people in the relationship. Think of any interpersonal relationship, marriage in particular, as an algebra equation, something like: 2x + 7 = 3y – 4 The equation needs to be balanced. X and Y are the contributions of the two members of the relationship.
Response:
Filed under: Interpersonal relationship
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