Lonely Loneliness

abandonment

Question:

We will need to talk about this when we meet! I could be your twin!!! HUGS! Karent – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i have this horrendous fear of abandonment.  and it plays itself out in multiple ways.  if someone doesn’t return a phone call, it can trigger me into a deep depression.  same goes for not writing back (e-mail or "real" mail).  and the list goes on. i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down.  not always.  but when i’m crashing, that’s how it seems.  and, yes, i am starting to crash again.  as is usually the case at the end of the week.  that’s when everyone disappears too.  or so it seems. damn. sara, feeling intensely alone

Love and hugs, Karent

Response:

i have this horrendous fear of abandonment.  and it plays itself out in multiple ways.  if someone doesn’t return a phone call, it can trigger me into a deep depression.  same goes for not writing back (e-mail or "real" mail).  and the list goes on. i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down.  not always.  but when i’m crashing, that’s how it seems.  and, yes, i am starting to crash again.  as is usually the case at the end of the week.  that’s when everyone disappears too.  or so it seems. damn. sara, feeling intensely alone

Response:

here’s hopin’ to God you slash the emotional pain instead.  parent who would have otherwise abused be abandoned me instead.  they did me a favor.  but i know it doesnt feel that way to you now.  we know you hurt right now!

have three cigarettes left and when I have smoked them I fully intend to slash my wrists!Steve

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (leaf) writes: i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down. It’s like I’m so afraid of being lonely, I put up walls to keep people from even having the chance to let me down. They can’t get close enough to hurt me, or so I tell myself. So I remain lonely, trying to avoid being lonely, but not trusting people enough to let them into my loneliness. The last place I ever wanted to be was the place you two are in–but here I am.  Do I get a decoder ring?  Seems like I should get *something*. Cristi http://www.serv.net/~sparrow/

I have been abandonded!  I have three cigarettes left and when I have smoked them I fully intend to slash my wrists!Steve

Response:

Hi Marlyssa, I too know where you are coming from.  I was abandoned after 25 years of marriage because he wanted someone younger and thinner who could still give him another daughter.   I had to adopt a new philosophy of life.  I had to release all resentments and use that energy to live in love and serenity. Resentments are like giving someone free rent in your brain and your space is worth more than that. The past 17 years on my own have been the most fulfilling in my life. BTW he married my daughter’s best friend and had a baby.  He then abandoned them.  Good luck and lots of love. Libby —                           YOU CAN BECOME AN AWARE PERSON!                                   Aware Press:   Publisher of Aware Person Books and Little Books with Big Thoughts Newsletter "The Aware Person" FREE to all who want to change their lives                                    http://www.sure.net/~awarpres

Response:

ME too. I’m suppose to (according to my counselor), make some contacts

with people – like on the phone and ask them if they want to do something. (He said computer contacts don’t really count  but they seem pretty really and fill a need)  Why? They’re all too busy anyway. And what would we talk about. It would be so phony.  Just because I’m off of work for the summer and really bored, my house and kids should be spotless and perfect now that I have all this time. Yes, this is my first post. Why are are almost over 1000 posts everytime? Does this group operate through regular e-mail, too. I noticed a  bunch of e-mail addresses. Bon<< Even if it feels phony, it fulfills a need.  Give it a shot.  It won’t feel or be perfect, and might even be a strain and pain; but it helps in the long run. The more time I have the worse my house gets! This is a very busy ng.  The number of posts reflects the ones you haven’t read. The number also goes up if you don’t check it all the time. You can click on "mark read" buttons if it gets overwhelming and just follow a few postings that you are interested in. You can always respond to the person through email for more privacy. Hope this helps,

Response:

Decoder ring?  I’d like the customizable hug.  You know, the one that magically says this is real and you really can trust it not to let you down, and therefore don’t have to defend against it and push it away.   It better be a phase – means it will pass sometime. And I guess if I have to be part of this club, its better to be part with such great people as you.

What a perfect idea! leaf Birth, life, and death —         each took place on the hidden side of a leaf.                                 – Toni Morrison — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

I am also alone..and scared

    Doll —     don’t know what to say, other than I hear you and you aren’t alone here….     (those are cyberhugs, in case you didn’t know)     leslie

Response:

<snipped my post : Yupyupyupyupyupyupyup… : : I couldn’t cut one word of your post, Sara, because it is : so well-put. thanks.  i was going to say the same to you. : : I wish you didn’t feel like that, I wish *I* didn’t feel : like that… : : It’s like I’m so afraid of being lonely, I put up walls : to keep people from even having the chance to let me down. : They can’t get close enough to hurt me, or so I tell myself. yes, exactly. : : So I remain lonely, trying to avoid being lonely, but not : trusting people enough to let them into my loneliness. : : Oh sure… that made all sorts of sense, Leaf. makes a TON of sense.  this is *exactly* what i was talking about in therapy tonight.  the exact words in some instances…we talked about those walls i put up to avoid other ppl putting them there.  in some way i guess i think it’s not as bad if i pre-empt their cutting me off.  so, i am abandoned either way.  or i *feel* that sense of abandonment i should say. *sigh* it’s so frustrating, isn’t it? : leaf, who owes Sara email but can’t bring herself to write it s’ok, sweetie.  write when you can. seeing posts by you at least reassures me that you’re still around sara

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Cave said: i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down. It’s like I’m so afraid of being lonely, I put up walls to keep people from even having the chance to let me down. They can’t get close enough to hurt me, or so I tell myself. So I remain lonely, trying to avoid being lonely, but not trusting people enough to let them into my loneliness. The last place I ever wanted to be was the place you two are in–but here I am.  Do I get a decoder ring?  Seems like I should get *something*. I wonder if it’s one of those "phases" in the healing cycle.

let’s hope so.  perhaps it would make sense, then. (yeah.  I want my decoder ring too!)

we *should* get something!  I like the idea of a decoder ring.  Like the Buck Rogers rings? leaf Birth, life, and death —         each took place on the hidden side of a leaf.                                 – Toni Morrison — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

        And in my case, some whom I did trust proceeded to abuse me psychologically.  Friendship should not be the equivalent of joining a cult! —

Response:

i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down. It’s like I’m so afraid of being lonely, I put up walls to keep people from even having the chance to let me down. They can’t get close enough to hurt me, or so I tell myself. So I remain lonely, trying to avoid being lonely, but not trusting people enough to let them into my loneliness.

The last place I ever wanted to be was the place you two are in–but here I am.  Do I get a decoder ring?  Seems like I should get *something*. Cristi http://www.serv.net/~sparrow/

Response:

i have this horrendous fear of abandonment.  and it plays itself out in multiple ways.  if someone doesn’t return a phone call, it can trigger me into a deep depression.  same goes for not writing back (e-mail or "real" mail).  and the list goes on. i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down.  not always.  but when i’m crashing, that’s how it seems.  and, yes, i am starting to crash again.  as is usually the case at the end of the week.  that’s when everyone disappears too.  or so it seems. damn. sara, feeling intensely alone

Yupyupyupyupyupyupyup… I couldn’t cut one word of your post, Sara, because it is so well-put. I wish you didn’t feel like that, I wish *I* didn’t feel like that… It’s like I’m so afraid of being lonely, I put up walls to keep people from even having the chance to let me down. They can’t get close enough to hurt me, or so I tell myself. So I remain lonely, trying to avoid being lonely, but not trusting people enough to let them into my loneliness. Oh sure… that made all sorts of sense, Leaf. leaf, who owes Sara email but can’t bring herself to write it Birth, life, and death —         each took place on the hidden side of a leaf.                                 – Toni Morrison — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

Hi Sara, My name is Dixie, you don’t know me.  I’m new to the Internet and don’t know if I’m intruding  by commenting on this list, I was just checking it out for the first time and enlarged your message by mistake.  So if I’m out of line, I’m sorry, just disregard. I’m writing because I was amazed at your comments, I am exactly the same way!  I hate my feelings and reactions because at times (like when I’m not deeply involved in believing them) I see them as irrational and I am intensely bothered that I can’t control my personality when I want.  Not to mention that I want different things at different time, that’s great for realizing I’m a bona fide nut.   I’ve just found a book that I got solely for it’s title, ‘I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me’  that describes me to a tee.  I haven’t read much but it mentions something I’ve never heard called Borderline Personality.  Perhaps that will describe the my particular nuttiness.  I hope anyway. Bye Bye, Dixie i have this horrendous fear of abandonment.  and it plays itself out in multiple ways.  if someone doesn’t return a phone call, it can trigger me into a deep depression.  same goes for not writing back (e-mail or "real" mail).  and the list goes on. i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down.  not always.  but when i’m crashing, that’s how it seems.  and, yes, i am starting to crash again.  as is usually the case at the end of the week.  that’s when everyone disappears too.  or so it seems. damn. sara, feeling intensely alone

Response:

Wow Sarah,          That describes how I feel to a capital T.   Sometimes I even want e-mail when I haven’t sent any (and I don’t mean spam).  People don’t return calls,  or say hi or just don’t respond.  I feel hated, disliked and alone.  I think my husband just sticks around for the kids.   I think the people at work would like to fire me but they really can’t cause I do too good a job, so they try to overwhelm me so I have to ask for help then I’m not doing my job and they can fire me .         It takes hard work on my part,  to remember that I am not alone, I struggle with it cause sometimes I just want more,  (which is wrong, I know)   I believe I am not truly alone because I have Jesus by my side.   But I struggle with wanting a real live person with compassion, love and a willingness to hold me.  I want that too. you are not alone or abandoned,  Sarah, Cyndi When God sends the dawn,  He sends it for all.   –  Cervantes

Response:

i have this horrendous fear of abandonment.  and it plays itself out in multiple ways.  if someone doesn’t return a phone call, it can trigger me into a deep depression.  same goes for not writing back (e-mail or "real" mail).  and the list goes on.

I feel this way too sometimes… i have this complex relationship with trust.  i want so much to trust yet it seems that when i do, i inevitably am let down.  not always.  but when i’m crashing, that’s how it seems.  and, yes, i am starting to crash again.  as is usually the case at the end of the week.  that’s when everyone disappears too.  or so it seems.

I hate weekends for the exact same reason… everybody disappears… nobody in the halls at work and everyone is off doing ‘their thing’… I get so lonely on weekends… Jeff. Jeff W. Dawson Department of Biology, Queen’s University Kingston, Ontario, CANADA  K7L 3N6 WWW: http://Biology.QueensU.CA/~dawsonj "His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free"

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Depression

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