Lonely Loneliness

An Apology to the Group

Question:

 I would like to offer an apology to anyone in the group that feels my response to Mr Anonomous was inappropriate.I am not trying to set myself up as protector of the wounded,or make it seem as if I’m trying to come across as Mr Sensitive,I’m far from it.But, I am not the least bit ashamed of having compassion for another human being,when I honestly believe they are hurting.The same passion,that comes from that compassion,goes into the way I react when I feel someone is being kicked when they are down. I would much rather over-react,than not to react at all.  I personally don’t think anyone comes to this group expecting to receive specific,concrete answers to their problems.I think they come as I did,to make contact,and to find other human beings on this earth that can understand how it feels to be confused,hurt, scared or alone.Knowing that someone is reading your words with understanding can sometimes be an answer in its’ own.  I’m afraid many people are reluctant to post simply in fear they might recieve an unkind,uncaring response.When you are feeling vulnerable,being made to feel as if you are insignificant,is a gamble most people would rather not take.  I cannot speak as eloquently as Ric,(boy,he shore can talk purty), but I hope you get my drift.Thank you for your patience.                                                           Michael,                                                           Maddogg "…Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings    and learn to fly…"                                             Lennon and McCartney

Response:

did somebody say  CHOCOLATE?  =) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Maddogg wrote in message <34ca281…@news1.ibm.net>… >In article <34C81943.1…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >>Maddogg wrote: >>> In article <34C68AB4.6…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >>> >Maddogg wrote: >>> >>     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’? >>> >>   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-) Michael, Maddogg >>> >Lauren wrote: >>> >Winners choosers.  You pick it! >>> >Lauren >>>                                      PIE ! Michael >>LOL >>pumpkin?  apple?  shoofly?  mince? >>you want it?  we got it! >>Lauren >                         Yes! One of each,please. >          But,you wouldn’t happen to have some cherry,chocolate, >          stawberry,and peach,would you? {;-)~  Thank you!

Michael

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <34C81943.1…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >Maddogg wrote: >> In article <34C68AB4.6…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >> >Maddogg wrote: >> >>     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’? >> >>   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-) >> >>                                                       Michael, >> >>                                                       Maddogg >> >Lauren wrote: >> >Winners choosers.  You pick it! >> >Lauren >>                                      PIE ! >>                                                           Michael >LOL >pumpkin?  apple?  shoofly?  mince? >you want it?  we got it! >Lauren

                         Yes! One of each,please.           But,you wouldn’t happen to have some cherry,chocolate,           stawberry,and peach,would you? {;-)~  Thank you!                                                               Michael

Response:

Maddogg wrote: >                          Yes! One of each,please. >           But,you wouldn’t happen to have some cherry,chocolate, >           stawberry,and peach,would you? {;-)~  Thank you! >                                                               Michael

LOL Comin right up!   Lauren

Response:

Maddogg wrote: >     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’? >   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-) >                                                       Michael, >                                                       Maddogg

Winners choosers.  You pick it! Lauren

Response:

In article <34C68AB4.6…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >Maddogg wrote: >>     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’? >>   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-) >>                                                       Michael, >>                                                       Maddogg >Lauren wrote: >Winners choosers.  You pick it! >Lauren

                                     PIE !                                                           Michael

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Maddogg wrote: > In article <34C68AB4.6…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: > >Maddogg wrote: > >>     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’? > >>   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-) > >>                                                       Michael, > >>                                                       Maddogg > >Lauren wrote: > >Winners choosers.  You pick it! > >Lauren >                                      PIE ! >                                                           Michael

LOL pumpkin?  apple?  shoofly?  mince? you want it?  we got it! Lauren

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <34C2A707.7…@erols.com>, laz…@erols.com wrote: >Maddogg wrote: >>  I would like to offer an apology to anyone in the group that feels >> my response to Mr Anonomous was inappropriate.   Lauren wrote: >Far from apologizing, Michael, you should claim a prize. >These newsgroups need more straight shooters like you >who recognize when other hurt people are being mistreated >and have the courage and honesty to stand up for them. >I have seen other posters try to do what you did here and >get so flamed for it they ended up leaving themselves. >You did a real service by speaking up on Norma’s behalf >and are a welcome addition to this group. >Lauren

  Lauren,     Thank you for your kind words of support.They are certainly   appreciated. I have seen some of your other posts, and was   wondering where you were.Good to hear from you.     As far as being flamed, I have been flamed before, and I am   sure to be flamed again.As a matter of fact, I have a whole   pile of scorched ‘drawers’, some of which are still smoldering.   If I truly believe in something I’m about to post, I’m willing to   take that chance.     BTW,not that I think I deserve it, but what kind of ‘prize’?   Something to eat, I hope!  ;-)                                                       Michael,                                                       Maddogg

Response:

for a Maddogg, you sure do praise good and wow am I ever gonna learn from you… you just keep reacting from that passionate heart and then apologizing eloquently for it and proving in your apology that an apology really wasn’t necessary (and he says I’m good I include every word you posted below, because I would be proud to have written them… yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… talking purty in a million words doesn’t mean nearly as much as getting the point across in a few as you did… I am so very glad you found your way into this group… please stick around and let your fingers tell us what your heart feels and mind thinks… you’ve earned a heap of my respect and trust real quick, Michael and do continue including those sig quotes, I’m adding them to my collection ric *   and when you finally find you have a real friend somewhere…               suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear   *                                                           –Jackson Browne – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Maddogg wrote in message <34c135e…@news1.ibm.net>… > I would like to offer an apology to anyone in the group that feels >my response to Mr Anonomous was inappropriate.I am not trying >to set myself up as protector of the wounded,or make it seem as >if I’m trying to come across as Mr Sensitive,I’m far from it.But, I >am not the least bit ashamed of having compassion for another >human being,when I honestly believe they are hurting.The same >passion,that comes from that compassion,goes into the way I >react when I feel someone is being kicked when they are down. >I would much rather over-react,than not to react at all. > I personally don’t think anyone comes to this group expecting to >receive specific,concrete answers to their problems.I think they >come as I did,to make contact,and to find other human beings on >this earth that can understand how it feels to be confused,hurt, >scared or alone.Knowing that someone is reading your words >with understanding can sometimes be an answer in its’ own. > I’m afraid many people are reluctant to post simply in fear they >might recieve an unkind,uncaring response.When you are feeling >vulnerable,being made to feel as if you are insignificant,is a gamble >most people would rather not take. > I cannot speak as eloquently as Ric,(boy,he shore can talk purty), >but I hope you get my drift.Thank you for your patience. >                                                          Michael, >                                                          Maddogg >"…Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings >   and learn to fly…" >                                            Lennon and McCartney

Response:

Welcome Bob… I seem to have found some magic, or something in me to de-lurk myself to some pretty (well, not everybody might consider it pretty… or purty, for that matter  prolific proportions lately… but I wanted to take this opportunity to not just welcome you, but the explore my own reasons for lurking – and I do – and I did for weeks, maybe months, before my first post… in one word – fear… I was afraid… afraid nobody would like me… afraid people would laugh… afraid I would be flamed or challenged in ways I was afraid I could not handle… but most of all, I was afraid my words had no worth – I was afraid I was worthless… I was afraid I could offer nothing worth reading… and I found no words in my head I could deem worth sharing… and I found no words to express the hopeless low-self-esteem I was feeling – or  *not* feeling, as it was a very numb place I was in… and I did not want to face how low I was… I did not want to admit I was feeling some of the feelings I was reading about… I did not want to admit I had any problems… I did not want to accept I was getting very depressed… denial – another of the warning signs of depression… "oh those poor people, I’m not as bad as  *them*… really" and I could not even let in the words I read here that came close to expressing where I was – or how I was  *not*  feeling… and when I tried to feel, privately, hiding in my dark maddening quicksand of procrastination and avoidance and apathy that was slowly changing low self-worth into self-loathing… all I could feel was the pain – no hope, only despair… no trust in anything, only feeling betrayed and beaten and broken… a loser… a failure… a waste of space and organic material… I observed life as if I didn’t deserve to be part of it… pretending somehow I was not a part of it… at times beneath it… at times above it… somewhere outside of my blinding cloud of self-made hell, I heard and saw some words talking about hope and faith and light at the end of tunnels – but the words meant nothing to me… the concepts were as alien as breathing under water and even more inconceivable… but I did not want to die, so I turned on my computer… and I saw the word "loneliness" in this newsgroup… and I came here because I sure felt like an expert on loneliness… not on  *curing*  it, but on  *creating*  it… and I said to myself, "what the heck, maybe they have an answer, a cure – what have I got to lose?… and… I lurked… I read words that proved there were other people in the world… and I was not the only one in pain… I stayed in the shadows afraid until one day something inspired me to click on respond and forget my fears for just a moment… I actually had something to say!… I still am not sure just how it happened, but eventually, it seems to have helped… something has gotten through… I only hope this time, it lasts… the key word, the  *magic*  is that I  *hope*… that was the key to the door that shut out the light… without it, I saw only darkness, only despair, only my failures and worthlessness… I don’t know who’s words did it… who do I thank?… or even if it was words I read at all… I know nobody can  *give*  it to me… it must come from within me… the world only starts looking a little brighter when I start letting a little on my light shine… for it is my light that I see reflected off the world around me… without at least a little, at least a tiny sliver of hope from me, there’s nothing but blackness out there for my eyes to see… but I think I did find something in some words here… some reason to hope… to believe in myself just enough to open the door a crack and let a little light shine… and I think that’s one of the main reasons I’m trying to give back to the group now… now that I seem to be in a much brighter place than I have been… it’s still dark sometimes, in fact, there’s some parts of life in total blackness that I don’t want to see at all… but there is hope… I found some people who care right here in this group… and in other places on the net… and a few dared meet me off line and are now my friends… people actually care about me… and guess what?… some always did… I just kept them away by hiding in the dark… by not giving them any of me – my light… I was afraid nobody cared so I made sure I saw nobody who cared… better than risking looking for something and not finding it… or is it?… it feels much better out here in the light… even if some moments I’m shaking or crying or looking for a hole to hide in… I decided that I’d rather be out here sharing, even if at times it’s living with my foot in my mouth than hiding in the corner alone sucking my thumb… I’m glad I de-lurked… I’m glad you did too and I echo Michael in hoping more people do… ric something to say?… write to me  - click reply to author or  2119422 / childinside on ICQ (add me! add me! or contact me at  http://wwp.mirabilis.com/2119422 *   it just takes one person sharing how you feel         to make the world friendlier and make the feeling real   * – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bob Fallona wrote in message <34C2F0EB.FB84D…@ibm.net>… >I have been lurking here reading the posts. When I came across the post >from Mr.A about "okay good-bye" I had the same reaction you did. If you >can’t offer something positive then just move on. In his case, that >comment can only make it worse. The only possible reason is maybe he >thought it was fake. But if you read it, it’s pretty hard to come to >that conclusion. And again if in doubt leave it alone rather than add >fuel to the fire. As Ric said, no apology necessary. What are you >apologizing for? The fact that you care or that you felt her pain? Just >some brief words of support, but keep it up.

Response:

Bob,  It’s good to ’see’ some new ‘faces’.And I thank you for your words of support.I hope you stick around and join in some more.You will probably be surprised,as I was, at the added bonus of taking part.As I have said before,there is something to be said for the feeling of belonging to a group.  I am not a ‘touchy-feely’ guy,as I might sound sometimes,but in the short time I have been coming to this group I have been able to find emotions that have been ‘out-of-work’ for awhile.I might sound like a ‘wuss’, but it doesn’t feel too bad.  Thanks again for the support.I hope to see some more of your posts, even if it is to give me a hard time.I’m bound to give you the opportunity to do that,as I am a ‘blunder’ just waiting to happen.                                                         Michael,                                                         Maddogg – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <34C2F0EB.FB84D…@ibm.net>, Bob Fallona <bfall…@ibm.net> wrote: >I have been lurking here reading the posts. When I came across the post >from Mr.A about "okay good-bye" I had the same reaction you did. If you >can’t offer something positive then just move on. In his case, that >comment can only make it worse. The only possible reason is maybe he >thought it was fake. But if you read it, it’s pretty hard to come to >that conclusion. And again if in doubt leave it alone rather than add >fuel to the fire. As Ric said, no apology necessary. What are you >apologizing for? The fact that you care or that you felt her pain? Just >some brief words of support, but keep it up.

Response:

I have been lurking here reading the posts. When I came across the post from Mr.A about "okay good-bye" I had the same reaction you did. If you can’t offer something positive then just move on. In his case, that comment can only make it worse. The only possible reason is maybe he thought it was fake. But if you read it, it’s pretty hard to come to that conclusion. And again if in doubt leave it alone rather than add fuel to the fire. As Ric said, no apology necessary. What are you apologizing for? The fact that you care or that you felt her pain? Just some brief words of support, but keep it up.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Maddogg wrote: >  I would like to offer an apology to anyone in the group that feels > my response to Mr Anonomous was inappropriate.I am not trying > to set myself up as protector of the wounded,or make it seem as > if I’m trying to come across as Mr Sensitive,I’m far from it.But, I > am not the least bit ashamed of having compassion for another > human being,when I honestly believe they are hurting.The same > passion,that comes from that compassion,goes into the way I > react when I feel someone is being kicked when they are down. > I would much rather over-react,than not to react at all. >  I personally don’t think anyone comes to this group expecting to > receive specific,concrete answers to their problems.I think they > come as I did,to make contact,and to find other human beings on > this earth that can understand how it feels to be confused,hurt, > scared or alone.Knowing that someone is reading your words > with understanding can sometimes be an answer in its’ own. >  I’m afraid many people are reluctant to post simply in fear they > might recieve an unkind,uncaring response.When you are feeling > vulnerable,being made to feel as if you are insignificant,is a gamble > most people would rather not take. >  I cannot speak as eloquently as Ric,(boy,he shore can talk purty), > but I hope you get my drift.Thank you for your patience. >                                                           Michael, >                                                           Maddogg > "…Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings >    and learn to fly…" >                                             Lennon and McCartney

Far from apologizing, Michael, you should claim a prize. These newsgroups need more straight shooters like you who recognize when other hurt people are being mistreated and have the courage and honesty to stand up for them. I have seen other posters try to do what you did here and get so flamed for it they ended up leaving themselves. You did a real service by speaking up on Norma’s behalf and are a welcome addition to this group. Lauren

Response:

Ric,  Man, that’s high praise,indeed.But,I’m sure I don’t deserve all that.I do appreciate your kind words,though.  I have a tendency to let my emotions outrun my brain.Or, as we say in Louisiana,"I let my alligator mouth overload my hummingbird ass."But, I will say,that even though my ‘head’ is up my ‘ass’ most of the time, I promise you,my ‘heart’ is in the right place.  Thanks again,for understanding.                                                       Michael,                                                       Maddogg  "…Don’t eat the yellow snow…"                        Frank Zappa – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -In article <69rgml$…@examiner.concentric.net>, "ric" <w…@usa.net> wrote: >for a Maddogg, you sure do praise good >and wow am I ever gonna learn from you… you just keep reacting from that >passionate heart and then apologizing eloquently for it and proving in your >apology that an apology really wasn’t necessary (and he says I’m good >I include every word you posted below, because I would be proud to have >written them… yes, yes, yes, yes, yes… talking purty in a million words >doesn’t mean nearly as much as getting the point across in a few as you >did… I am so very glad you found your way into this group… please stick >around and let your fingers tell us what your heart feels and mind thinks… >you’ve earned a heap of my respect and trust real quick, Michael >and do continue including those sig quotes, I’m adding them to my collection >:) >ric >*   and when you finally find you have a real friend somewhere… >              suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear   * >                                                          –Jackson Browne

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Depression

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