Are you lonely tonight?
Question:
As usual, there is a song going through my head. This is a normal state for me. As I played it through to the end, I realized it was "Are you lonely tonight?" Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight. Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
bluebird, i feel your loneliness vicariously, which doesn’t take anything away from its realness. i’m particularly tuned to your new journey, since separation has been a possibility in my marriage for quite some time, but a strange kind of possibility, at once the promised land and the fifth circle of hell. I don’t think either of us has the guts to find out if there’s a better life for us apart from one another. It’s almost as if we have to detonate a nuclear bomb, and to do so on faith that things will all be better for having done so. I do much want to see you succeed in your new life… i know love is not a first priority, but i would love to hear that a good man has become part of your life. (umm, provided you’re not lesbian; in which case, a good woman would be appropriate.) i want to hear stories of courage and growth, of new feathers, new adventures. I want you to share the good the bad and the beautiful, because, bluebird, you’re my role model. I’m depending on you to do this right… Love, Michael Remember, you’re never lonely when you’ve got an MPD diagnosis… oh, and to answer your question, am i lonely? well, I’m feeling down, minor kind of meds-driven depression… i don’t expect it to last too long. my wife and i are engaged in low-grade fights which quickly make both of us feel rotten. still, we’re having sex, and both of us have overcome our respective anorgasmia, so there’s at least one shining spot in my heart. plus, the kids are always an intense world around me, and they are happy to welcome me into the games and fantasies. We went to the playground today, and then for a walk in the woods. We made an easy fire out of dead oak limbs, and cooked a steak over the coals while mommy prepared the rest of the dinner in the kitchen. Sometime I think I’d like nothing better than to become a permanent resident of kidland… fuck this adulthood shit, been there, done that. Let’s read Pooh again, let’s watch the Little Mermaid… let’s go play dragons down by the stream… sigh, it’s never too late to have a happy childhood. So am I lonely tonight? No. Just wistful, aware of our pain, but happy in this moment. I know I haven’t achieved what I wanted to achieve in life… but having achieved fatherhood, i seem to have found my purpose in life. Love, Michael
Response:
<BR As usual, there is a song going through my head. This is a normal state for <BR me. As I played it through to the end, I realized it was "Are you lonely <BR tonight?"<BR <BR Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight.<BR <BR Bluebird<BR Are you lonely tonight, too?<BR <BR
Hi, Bluebird… here I sit in my own ‘own new place’… just fed the cats and gave the diabetic one his shot. Sitting here at the computer, nothing on TV is holding my interest. Yeah, I’m lonely, alone, today there is no difference between those two words. What city do you live in, may I ask? Must be generic but your descriptions of your new neighborhood sound an awful lot like my new neighborhood. Have not done any work today, as in unpacking, sorting, organizing, etc. Also need to look for work. As far as food shopping goes, I’m also needing to get used to the fact that I can’t shop in bulk anymore, it’s not necessary and it’s too far to haul around to my apartment, even if I can park close. This does have its good points: I eat less and I eat only what I have. Food is too hard to drag around, so I actually eat my fruits and veggies before they go bad and make sure I only buy ‘healthy’. I’m becoming a full-time water-drinker, too; so I don’t have to carry bottles/cans/cartons of beverages around. I enjoy reading your updates, Bluebird… Thinking about you a lot… Timmy, another newly single gal…… sigh….
Response:
As usual, there is a song going through my head. This is a normal state for me. As I played it through to the end, I realized it was "Are you lonely tonight?" Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight. Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
Response:
Yes. Lonely and scared. I overcame my fear of calling someone else and tried earlier, but the line was busy over and over. Life’s little ironies. And there’s no one to call at this ungodly hour. I can always go reread The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. That ought to be good for a few laughs! On the upside, my lovebird nestbox is less lonely tonight. The first egg hatched! I’m a grandma again! I’ll have babies to feed in a couple of weeks. — Bunny
Response:
Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
i am lonely because i know that just outside my front door, there are people holding each other, touching each other, staring into each other’s eyes as if they were secret pools to forever swim inside. they whisper "i love you" so quietly, that not even the wind can hear it. they hold each other, they embrace each other, and they know. and i may never know. so yes, Bluebird. yes i am. blue
Response:
Yes, I’m lonely too. But in my head is always "Life On Mars" an old song of David Bowie. "…but a friend is nowhere to be seen, now she walks trough her sunken dream…." ^^^^^^ I’m not a she but that doesn’t matter…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -As usual, there is a song going through my head. This is a normal state for me. As I played it through to the end, I realized it was "Are you lonely tonight?" Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight. Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
Response:
A previous poster wrote that {being single again} was for them: at once the promised land and the fifth circle of hell.
"Are you lonely tonight? Always. He was here, and now he’s not. It isn’t divorce or separation…it was a long, slow cruel death, and he’s not just down at the corner for a quart of milk, or sleeping in some other bed…he’s GONE. Look, in the real world I am heavyset, and use crutches, not a "conventional" beauty in the least….but he did not care. None of that Mattered…he knew who I was inside and loved me for it. When that goes, you wonder if it will ever happen again, or if you dreamed it and made it all up. I am in a new city, full of sunlight (a good thing) and at the foot of a grand mountain…but I feel old and forgotten at 36, and I am starting to forget his face… Am I lonely tonight? Yes.
Response:
I agree with JM on this one. When lonely, it is easy to think we are the only one who is, or that having "someone" all our own would cure the problem in a heartbeat. The worst kind of lonely I have ever felt is when in a roomful of people I know, but cannot connect with, or worst of all, when with my husband…and feeling like we are complete and awkward strangers, or totally invisible to one another. So if there is strength in numbers, the lonely are not "alone" at all :-( ~kare – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – i am lonely because i know that just outside my front door, there are people holding each other, touching each other, staring into each other’s eyes as if they were secret pools to forever swim inside. they whisper "i love you" so quietly, that not even the wind can hear it. they hold each other, they embrace each other, and they know. and i may never know. so yes, Bluebird. yes i am. blue Yes, but there are even more couples who feel alone with each other, who wish their spouse would realise what they have instead of dreaming that the grass is greener on the other side of the street. JM
Response:
Yes, I’m lonely tonight. But I’m lonely every night, so I’ve kinda gotten used to it.
Response:
i am lonely because i know that just outside my front door, there are people holding each other, touching each other, staring into each other’s eyes as if they were secret pools to forever swim inside. they whisper "i love you" so quietly, that not even the wind can hear it. they hold each other, they embrace each other, and they know. and i may never know. so yes, Bluebird. yes i am. blue
Yes, but there are even more couples who feel alone with each other, who wish their spouse would realise what they have instead of dreaming that the grass is greener on the other side of the street. JM
Response:
I’m lonely because evertime I walk into my house now and realize my wife is no longer there, it kills. I don’t think I will ever find someone to love and be loved with again! This house is so silent, there are so many memories. Hell, I cannot even sleep in our bed anymore, it is just to big. My futon in the other room is my new bed. Sometimes I hate this house. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Yes. Lonely and scared. I overcame my fear of calling someone else and tried earlier, but the line was busy over and over. Life’s little ironies. And there’s no one to call at this ungodly hour. I can always go reread The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind. That ought to be good for a few laughs! On the upside, my lovebird nestbox is less lonely tonight. The first egg hatched! I’m a grandma again! I’ll have babies to feed in a couple of weeks. — Bunny
Response:
Its very odd, I’ve been intensely isolating for a couple of months now but I don’t feel lonely at all. This does not fit in with previous experience. Weird, I’m puzzled about NOT feeling bad. charlie
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Are you lonely tonight? Always. He was here, and now he’s not. It isn’t divorce or separation…it was a long, slow cruel death, and he’s not just down at the corner for a quart of milk, or sleeping in some other bed…he’s GONE. Look, in the real world I am heavyset, and use crutches, not a "conventional" beauty in the least….but he did not care. None of that Mattered…he knew who I was inside and loved me for it. When that goes, you wonder if it will ever happen again, or if you dreamed it and made it all up. I am in a new city, full of sunlight (a good thing) and at the foot of a grand mountain…but I feel old and forgotten at 36, and I am starting to forget his face… Am I lonely tonight? Yes.
I have not lost someone in the same way you have Jean, but I can empathize with wondering if all the good times with someone you loved were just a dream. It makes me feel very empty and alone when I remember the other life I had, that doesn’t exist anymore. I still think I will never find a partner to share my life and love. You have a horrible grief to get through. There is no simple way to do it. Talking here, and in grief support groups can help. Hold on and take care, o.k? Leah
Response:
Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight. Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
The kids are all gone, and hubby, who works very long hours, and I keep a whole different schedule. His favorite thing to do when home, is to sit asleep in his recliner, with the only light in the room the TV…every night, it seems. So though I am not technically alone, yes…I AM very lonely often enough. And I’m pretty sure this is a situation many others here can identify with. Good luck to you still Bluebird. By the way, our bluebirds are back from the south, and they, too, are busily building new homes. Saw two of them in the back yard a few days ago, and again this afternoon. ~Kare
Response:
I am always lonely. I never found anyone to love me. I have loved but never received the same in return. I guess I was always destined to be this way. I accept it most of the time. It would be nice to have someone when I hurt. — Blessings, Jehanne A man said to the Universe: "Sir, I exist!" "However," replied the Universe, "The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation." Stephen Crane 1899 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – As usual, there is a song going through my head. This is a normal state for me. As I played it through to the end, I realized it was "Are you lonely tonight?" Yes. Yes. A million times, yes. I am lonely tonight. Bluebird Are you lonely tonight, too?
Response:
says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hi, Bluebird… here I sit in my own ‘own new place’… just fed the cats and gave the diabetic one his shot. Sitting here at the computer, nothing on TV is holding my interest. Yeah, I’m lonely, alone, today there is no difference between those two words. What city do you live in, may I ask? Must be generic but your descriptions of your new neighborhood sound an awful lot like my new neighborhood. Have not done any work today, as in unpacking, sorting, organizing, etc. Also need to look for work. As far as food shopping goes, I’m also needing to get used to the fact that I can’t shop in bulk anymore, it’s not necessary and it’s too far to haul around to my apartment, even if I can park close. This does have its good points: I eat less and I eat only what I have. Food is too hard to drag around, so I actually eat my fruits and veggies before they go bad and make sure I only buy ‘healthy’. I’m becoming a full-time water-drinker, too; so I don’t have to carry bottles/cans/cartons of beverages around. I enjoy reading your updates, Bluebird… Thinking about you a lot… Timmy, another newly single gal…… sigh….
Hi, Timmy – Sounds like we’re going through a lot of the same transitions. But you’re outside of DC, aren’t you? I’m in suburban Boston, MA. The water tastes disgusting, so I’m still dragging bottles around, both of diet soda and of spring water. And I live on the third floor, so I should be getting stronger and healthier. Bluebird
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
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