Lonely Loneliness

does know anyboby this feeling

Question:

(((((Diana))))) We are here for you.  I know this must be a very difficult time for you. Please know that I am thinking of you. It *will* get better… it just takes time! Love, MikeH

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana

 . — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Diana schreef: My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me.

Anger is part of the grieving process. After all a beloved one has actually *left* you. Many people have difficulties accepting this feeling but it’s essential not to blame yourself for it, it’s normal, healthy and temporary. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family.

You bet! Why is life so difficult?

Why not? There are no answers to *why*-questions. It’s just what it is and we’ll have to deal with what we get on our plates. Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression.

To fully understand it one nees to experience it. But what’s the difference? People don’t have to understand as long as they accept that you have it. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more.

OTOH one doesn’t need to experience something in order to be able to *treat* it. An oncologist wouldn’t be a better doctor if he had cancer himself. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it.

I think most of us know this feeling and have experienced it at some point. Please don’t leave me my dear family.

I’m totally sure we will *not* leave you, Diana! Philip — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling.

I do know the feeling.  When one of my closest friends died, I was so angry at him!  I kept thinking this thought, "You were supposed to take me with you!"  But the truth is this — it was his time, not mine.  And the same is true with your sister – it was her time to go, and not your time to go. As long as you have us, you will not be alone.  We’re here, we care, and we want you to smile again, and feel good about living. There’s an old saying, "Fake it until you make it."  If you act as if you feel better, often times you will actually feel better.  Life won’t be perfect — it never is — but grief does soften and fade over time, and one day you will remember your sister without anger or overwhelming sadness.  This is truth. Sending you warm hugs.  Keep posting. Love, Deirdre — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana

Diana, You have a part in this world. You must. You are here..you just don’t think so right now because your mind is on your unhappiness. These strange, bad feelings will pass, new ones will pop up, they will pass too…it goes like that until you heal. You do eventually heal whether you can believe that or not. The only important thing to remember is to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you do feel..it’s something you need to feel and get out of you to work through this.. grief is a process…it’s a series of changes that eventually lead to a new normal in your life..that is the outcome..just allow the process to work, And when the pain gets bad, you know we are here and we care 24 hours a day, and we do understand panic. Love you. Sally — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

<gently snipped ::I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel ::but I don’t know if he understand what it is. ::Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A ::That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this ::life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that ::I don’t have part on it. ::Please don’t leave me my dear family. Dear Diana, You know we would never leave you! If anyone understands what panic and depression is like, it is your good friends here at ASAPM. Your anger is understandable and to be expected at this point. It is one of the stages of grief. You won’t feel angry forever, it will pass. (((((Diana))))) Jackie ~*~Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them~*~   ~~Shawn Alexander — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Diana, my thoughts and prayers are always with you. xxoo Anne — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Hi, Diana, Please know we will always be here for you.  I have copied and pasted 10 steps of Grieving.  In your own time, please read them.  Please note Stage 7.  I hope this may give you some comfort… smiles, Elise Stage 1: Shock Shock is the temporary escape from reality.  This is the stage that we are in during the funeral. Stage 2: Grief Express the grief we feel,whether it be in public and cry,or some go off and be by themselves. This is also okay, many people show emotions in different ways. Stage 3: Depression and Loneliness No two people grieve even the same kind of loss in the same way. This is normal and a part of good healthy grief. During this time we may say were is my God? It seems as he has forsaken me, but one day this all will pass.  It may take some more time than others and this is okay. God made each one of us different and unique. Stage 4: Physical Systems of Distress Some people develop an illness, in which it is psychosomatic,which is brought on by the loss of the loved one. Stage 5: Panic Sometimes we get panicky, because we can think of nothing but our loss. We become fearful of the unknown,loss of concentration, whether it be job or personal or whatever we are involved in. the loss is taking priority over other things that we should be doing. This is normal,there is nothing abnormal about this panicky feeling at times. Stage 6: Guilt Over The Loss Sometimes we feel guilty that there might have been something else we could have done and didn’t do it.  Their is normal quilt and abnormal guilt. Real quilt should not be glossed over,or repressed. It needs to be dealt with. There is difficulty separating the two. Do not be afraid to talk with someone about these feelings of quilt. Stage 7: Anger & Resentment These are normal feelings. We are humans. Resentment is unhealthy if allowed to take over.  Yet it is a part of the grief process that needs to be overcome. Stage 8: Resistant To Returning Although we are back in the swing of things, we sometimes resist getting back into the swing of things. We like to stay in the comfort zone. The way things were, but we must get on to new things. Stage 9: Hope The darkness now suddenly starts to be light again. This depends upon each person. Because each person is different and although two people lose (Example)their Aunt. No two people will grieve the same way for her. Stage 10: Reality After experiencing grief,we come out different people. We are then able to help others,that are going through grief. We are ready to get on with life. This also depends on how mature each individual is and how fast a person can cope. Now we are not afraid anymore to live in this world. We are now ready to live in the world. Epilogue: Do not despair,we will get through this and get on with life. God will help us along the way. Trust him, he has not forsaken us. He has things for us to do yet. Look to him for the answer. Believe me, ask, if you do not ask he will not reveal. Pray and ask God to revel He is right there waiting for you.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

– The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana

We will not leave you dear Diana. You are grieving and we are listening. love Meryl — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My dear Family; My sister died a couple of weeks ago, and i have the feeling that i blame her for that. It’s feel like she left me alone( I know that she did’t) it’s the feeling. Maby I feel this because she was the only one in the famely, who never left me. I have other sisters who i never see, they left me. I have now nobody left who is looking after me(and I mean one of sisters) I have only Albert and the childeren, but they don’t know everything. But I have you all as my family. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t nobody else try to understand what it is, a life ful with P/A and depression. I don’t think that not even Roel knows how I feel, I can tell him how i feel but I don’t know if he understand what it is. Yes he knows what it is to loose somebody, but never how it is to have P/A That makes it so difficult to tell somebody else that you don’t want this life no more. I have the feeling that the world is standing still, and that I don’t have part on it. Please don’t leave me my dear family. Love Diana

Diana, I understand your feelings. I only have a couple of people in my family who I feel would never turn their backs on me and one is my grandmother, who is almost 80, and when I lose her it will be very, very hard. I also know that being angry at someone who dies for leaving you alone is perfectly normal and quite common, so don’t feel bad about that. You are not alone, though. Even though we are all thousands of miles away (except our other friends in The Netherlands and UK), we are a community and I consider everyone my friend. I will not leave as long as I have fingers to type. I think more people suffer anxiety and panic than let on. You may be surrounded by those who don’t, but outside of your circle sufferers are everywhere. Perhaps it is more of a stigma in Europe?  Here, everyone I know is on meds, has been on meds, or needs to be on meds for anxiety, panic and depression. I’m not kidding. Maybe it’s a U.S. thing, I don’t know. Please don’t think we will leave you. We’re always here to help and listen (read). I feel alone a lot, too, so I really feel bad that you’re going through this. Know that I love you and am here if you need me. You can always email me, too. (((((((((((((((((((((((((Diana)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Love, Dawn — The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Depression

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