Face your demons
Question:
Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway Just in differing time frames The result is being alone The result of that is feeling lonely Being alone isn’t all that bad Being lonely is though So what to do Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans The phone never rings No one ever knocks on the door But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" Even better is, "meet people" The thing is so many people just don’t understand Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through Even when someone got close, they presume that their view of you was all there possibly could be That what that person saw was what everyone saw But alas that was because they too had to deal with their own demons in there own way I know there is light at the end of the tunnel I know tomorrow is another day And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will work out for the best But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and depression you go through to get to the other side I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face Scared of rejection… yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced Scared of being abandoned… yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying — Sorry for everything but I am just me!
Response:
I have to say this pretty well sums it all up into one neat little page. Steve "sfebiajm" <sfebi…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39608b3b@news.iprimus.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment > Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me > Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway > Just in differing time frames > The result is being alone > The result of that is feeling lonely > Being alone isn’t all that bad > Being lonely is though > So what to do > Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans > The phone never rings > No one ever knocks on the door > But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" > Even better is, "meet people" > The thing is so many people just don’t understand > Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through > Even when someone got close, they presume that their view of you was all > there possibly could be > That what that person saw was what everyone saw > But alas that was because they too had to deal with their own demons in > there own way > I know there is light at the end of the tunnel > I know tomorrow is another day > And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will work out for the > best > But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and > depression you go through to get to the other side > I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face > Scared of rejection… > yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced > Scared of being abandoned… > yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced > I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for > Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so > complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal > Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying > — > Sorry for everything but I am just me!
Response:
"sfebiajm" <sfebi…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39608b3b@news.iprimus.com.au… > Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment > Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me > Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway > Just in differing time frames
I much prefer the former to the latter, though both can be soul-searing. Rejection to me means to be turned away before even being known. Abandonment means being turned away despite being already known. I have much more of myself invested in those I already know and care about. Thus Abandonment for me hurts far, far worse. > The result is being alone > The result of that is feeling lonely > Being alone isn’t all that bad > Being lonely is though > So what to do
What to do indeed?? I don’t really know either. Check that. I know "technically" how to fx it. I know going back out and getting involved in clubs, activities, etc, Could eventually bring some form of social dividends. It has worked for me before. But knowing the Path, And having the Courage, Faith, and Hope to travel it. Are two entirely different things. There comes a point when you have been rejected/abandoned enough That you can no longer see the point in trying One More Time. You can no longer summon the will to try. Especially if you have come to even be rejected by yourself > Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans > The phone never rings > No one ever knocks on the door
I understand here. Quite well. It is so, so very easy to become Invisible to the World, And so incredibly difficult to become Visible once again. I have disappeared, "Gone Hermit", for years at a time. I have gone as much as a week without a single word In Conversation or Correspondence – even in passing. Not a single acknowledgment of my Existence. Phone?? Who would use it. Doorbell?? Who would ring it. Yes. I understand. > But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" > Even better is, "meet people"
Doesn’t help much, does it?? Kind of like "Don’t Worry. Be Happy." Oh yeah, Why didn’t I think of that?? Meeting people?? Sure. Not hard to do. You "meet" people all the time. Getting them to display any interest in further contact… Aye, there’s the rub. There is the hard part. > The thing is so many people just don’t understand > Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through
I understand – all too well. And the older and more established the Shell, The more difficult and painful it becomes to break. Time is ever the Enemy of the Lonely. > Even when someone got close, they presume that their > view of you was all there possibly could be > That what that person saw was what everyone saw > But alas that was because they too had to deal with their > own demons in there own way
It sometimes amazes me that people ever connect at all. We are so trapped in our own Feelings and Perceptions, We are so consumed with wrestling with our own Demons, That we rarely see others as they intend – as they desire. Our view is simply too far distorted by ourselves. > I know there is light at the end of the tunnel > I know tomorrow is another day > And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will > work out for the best
Hang on to that belief as tightly as you can. Once it slips your grasp, You may never recover it. > But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and > depression you go through to get to the other side
I know. I understand. And it is so hard at times, So very, very hard, To decide which pain is worse: The empty, gnawing Pain of Loneliness, Or the searing, terrifying Pain of rebuilding one’s Self. > I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face > Scared of rejection… > yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced > Scared of being abandoned… > yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced
Far, far too True. Painfully, wretchedly True. The more you are Rejected/Abandoned, The more you withdraw in Fear. The more you withdraw in Fear, The more likely you are to be Rejected/Abandoned. Few people enjoy the company of those who fear them, Even if they are not consciously aware of your Fear, It manifests itself in your social Reserve, In your keeping others at Arms Length.. Tis a vicious, horrid spiral – leading ever downward into the blackness of Despair. > I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for > Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so > complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal
Heh. I really, really wonder that sometimes. Its amazing how the Mind can become so twisted, The Preception so distorted by Pain and Fear, That we cut ourselves off from that we so desperately need. Guess it keeps all those Shriuks in business. I’ve often wondered about that. It seems a psychologist’s financial incentive, would be to keep you always coming back for more… Makes one wonder, non?? > Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying
Sometimes we don’t. I like to say its worth it. I would like to think its worth it. But that is something every one Must decide for Themselves. I’ve made my decision a thousand times, And will likely make it a thousand more. The trick is to pick one and stick with it. –Zeno
Response:
Sfebiam <is this your name you wish to go by?> Rejection is the feeling of being turned away from Abandonment is the feeling of being let go of.. I felt all of those words.. and for the longest time no one knocked at my door, and my phone didn’t ring.. but twas me that was pushing them away though I didn’t realize.. and when you open the door again, or start calling them to say.. hey.. how are you today.. listening to them and opening up to other’s the good and the bad stuff <balancing them though, not to much bad that it overwhelms their good> they come back again.. Sometimes though I think I had to experience the depression so I could be more understanding of other’s in theirs.. maybe it was my lesson that needed to be learned.. one thought though.. of my own.. if you don’t reach out for fear of abandonment and rejection, you will forever be alone.. which is worse in reality.. Pamela "sfebiajm" <sfebi…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39608b3b@news.iprimus.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment > Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me > Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway > Just in differing time frames > The result is being alone > The result of that is feeling lonely > Being alone isn’t all that bad > Being lonely is though > So what to do > Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans > The phone never rings > No one ever knocks on the door > But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" > Even better is, "meet people" > The thing is so many people just don’t understand > Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through > Even when someone got close, they presume that their view of you was all > there possibly could be > That what that person saw was what everyone saw > But alas that was because they too had to deal with their own demons in > there own way > I know there is light at the end of the tunnel > I know tomorrow is another day > And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will work out for the > best > But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and > depression you go through to get to the other side > I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face > Scared of rejection… > yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced > Scared of being abandoned… > yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced > I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for > Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so > complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal > Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying > — > Sorry for everything but I am just me!
Response:
No reason that I can see for you to aplogize for "just" being who you are. I liked what you wrote very much. Thank you for making me feel less alone today. sfebiajm <sfebi…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39608b3b@news.iprimus.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment > Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me > Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway > Just in differing time frames > The result is being alone > The result of that is feeling lonely > Being alone isn’t all that bad > Being lonely is though > So what to do > Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans > The phone never rings > No one ever knocks on the door > But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" > Even better is, "meet people" > The thing is so many people just don’t understand > Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through > Even when someone got close, they presume that their view of you was all > there possibly could be > That what that person saw was what everyone saw > But alas that was because they too had to deal with their own demons in > there own way > I know there is light at the end of the tunnel > I know tomorrow is another day > And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will work out for the > best > But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and > depression you go through to get to the other side > I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face > Scared of rejection… > yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced > Scared of being abandoned… > yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced > I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for > Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so > complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal > Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying > — > Sorry for everything but I am just me!
Response:
I am just apologising in general, hence the name… sfebiajm. We all have things we should be sorry for… whether it is that we should feel sorry for doing things in particular, or someone will always be there making us feel bad for being who we are. My apology is for someone who decided me being who I was just wasn’t good enough… so to them I am sorry for being who I am and them not wanting me on those terms. But that is only one factor in my loneliness… or maybe as someone else put it… my aloneliness. That is a result of 32 years of living my life on this planet… that is the bit that most cannot understand. A feeling is not a result of one single action… it is a culmination of ones life up to that point. BTW for all our US brothers and sisters out there… Happy 4th — Sorry for everything but I am just me! Mike612 <mike…@xhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39613808_3@news1.prserv.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> No reason that I can see for you to aplogize for "just" being who you are. I > liked what you wrote very much. Thank you for making me feel less alone > today. > sfebiajm <sfebi…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:39608b3b@news.iprimus.com.au… > > Two biggest fears … rejection and abandonment > > Everyone who hasn’t rejected me has abandoned me > > Then again aren’t they just both the same thing anyway > > Just in differing time frames > > The result is being alone > > The result of that is feeling lonely > > Being alone isn’t all that bad > > Being lonely is though > > So what to do > > Today I said 6 (I think) words to other humans > > The phone never rings > > No one ever knocks on the door > > But all you ever get is something as lame as, "you need to get out more" > > Even better is, "meet people" > > The thing is so many people just don’t understand > > Sometimes a shell is a hard thing to break through > > Even when someone got close, they presume that their view of you was all > > there possibly could be > > That what that person saw was what everyone saw > > But alas that was because they too had to deal with their own demons in > > there own way > > I know there is light at the end of the tunnel > > I know tomorrow is another day > > And I even know, as my mum always says, everything will work out for the > > best > > But yet I just don’t think the rest of the world realise the pain and > > depression you go through to get to the other side > > I can’t face my demons because there is nothing to face > > Scared of rejection… > > yet if I go and get rejected by anyone that will only be reinforced > > Scared of being abandoned… > > yet if I go and get abandoned yet again that too will only be reinforced > > I think much of the human race has a lot to answer for > > Why can the most intelligent (up to debate I guess) of mammals get so > > complex in thought that it ends up no longer being a social animal > > Sometimes I wonder why we even bother trying > > — > > Sorry for everything but I am just me!
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
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