head games, why??
Question:
There are some women that will make you come
Ain’t that da truth:)
Response:
True. But if they’ve been married and divorced several times, that might say something. This could apply to men too. You might have something there. I’ve been married and divorced twice now. I may have to face the fact that I am unable to be a good husband.
I don’t think that is true, and I also think it is a cop out. To me, it would just mean that you haven’t examined why things have failed and taken your share of responsibility. Sure, you can always *choose* to not be a good spouse, or not be a spouse at all, but that is a choice. Rambler
Response:
I don’t think that is true, and I also think it is a cop out. To me, it would just mean that you haven’t examined why things have failed and taken your share of responsibility.
I would respectfully disagree. I haven’t done anything but examine why things failed for the last year. I also believe I am responsible for my share. I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough. Best Regards, Steve MacLellan
Response:
I don’t think that is true, and I also think it is a cop out. To me, it would just mean that you haven’t examined why things have failed and taken your share of responsibility. I would respectfully disagree. I haven’t done anything but examine why things failed for the last year. I also believe I am responsible for my share. I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough.
Is it really "good enough"? Or is it that some are "meant" to be married, and some aren’t? Not necessarily good or bad, just different.
Response:
I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough.
Good enough for who(m?)?
Response:
I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough. Good enough for who(m?)?
I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be and in some cases still not be good enough or well suited to be someone’s partner. Best Regards, Steve MacLellan
Response:
I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough. Is it really "good enough"? Or is it that some are "meant" to be married, and some aren’t? Not necessarily good or bad, just different.
You’re right. Some of us just may not be suited for marriage. As I suggested further up the thread: I don’t think that would stop a fairly close relationship, where both parties maintain their own places and are not dependent on each other for anything, except for the mutual desire to spend some time together. Best Regards, Steve MacLellan
Response:
I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough. Good enough for who(m?)? I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be and in some cases still not be good enough or well suited to be someone’s partner.
Ever thought it might be someone’s partner who wasn’t choosing to be the best spouse they could be? It does take two working together to make a marriage work. Lori Mc
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think one can choose to be the best spouse they can be, and ins some cases still not be good enough. Is it really "good enough"? Or is it that some are "meant" to be married, and some aren’t? Not necessarily good or bad, just different. You’re right. Some of us just may not be suited for marriage. As I suggested further up the thread: I don’t think that would stop a fairly close relationship, where both parties maintain their own places and are not dependent on each other for anything, except for the mutual desire to spend some time together.
You may be right on that one. I have yet to see it. I know it exists – somewhere.
Response:
says… Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it.
Listen, you are her 2nd choice, that’s why she said yes. She just wanted a backup plan. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage.
Try eharmony.com. The ads say they are great and they take a scientific approach to matching people up. You can’t be nice to women, then they won’t respect you. After I stopped being a nice guy I got a lot more dates. Really.
Response:
It depends largely on the caliber of women that you meet. At your age, as they say, most of the good ones are taken, and for good reason! After all they are the good ones! The ones that are floating around are either divorced (often for good reason too) Perhaps, but just because a person is divorced that doesn’t make them bad, does it? Generelly speaking for every divorced femaile there is probably a divorced male somewhere – some of them still have to have good qualities.
True. But if they’ve been married and divorced several times, that might say something. Which reminds me, do our insurance rates go up if we say we are divorced, instead of single?
Response:
Which reminds me, do our insurance rates go up if we say we are divorced, instead of single
Same difference, if you aren’t marrried (it has been my experience) you payer higher rates. Lori Mc
Response:
True. But if they’ve been married and divorced several times, that might say something.
This could apply to men too. You might have something there. I’ve been married and divorced twice now. I may have to face the fact that I am unable to be a good husband. I don’t think that would stop a fairly close relationship, where both parties maintain their own places and are not dependent on each other for anything, except for the mutual desire to spend some time together. Best Regards, Steve MacLellan
Response:
My advice to you: Be careful. There are some women that will make you come to appreciate loneliness. If I were you I would start developing a life first (pursue new interests, etc…). Put yourself first and develop a relationship from a position of strength rather than one of need. Look for someone that will add something to your life not subtract from it. Net gain… otherwise the loneliness may be the least of your problems. — No Snarling Bitches Antifeminist Extremist Art Work http://nosnarlingbitches.home.comcast.net
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
A lot of good advice here. — No Snarling Bitches Antifeminist Extremist Art Work http://nosnarlingbitches.home.comcast.net – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeffo, Did you get the email I sent out to you a couple of weeks ago??? Right now, you are giving off desperate, needy vibes. These are a major turnoff and can be sensed instinctively by both men and women (someday, you’ll run into a depserate woman and know what I mean). Read my email!!! then go out and get a book called "The Evolution of a Warrior." It’s not the greatest piece of literature, but it has some good stuff to help you build your new life. Then, go to the library, and take out a book called "The Rules." It is meant for desperate women, but a lot of the advice is good for men, too. there are some other good relationship books out there as well. Check out your library. Don’t be a doormat when it comes to women. Be a bit of a challenge. Don’t be too nice, too early, or you’ll scare them off (desperate vibes). Don’t go fantasizing about your future life with them on the first date. Remeber that you should go out with someone you actually like and not to try and get every woman to like you. YOU have to be choosy, too!!! The deck is stacked against us, my friend, so we have to be on top of our game, and develop as thick of an emotional shield as we can. We will be rejected more often then we are accepted, and that can be hard to take. Even I am not always able to practice what I preach, but you will soon find that your recovery to rejection is faster each time. Try and forgive yourself, too, for mistakes. I know that I’m not very good at that either, but it is important. You are a rookie–you *will* make errors out there. Just remember that you are in the arena with the lions, and they rarely play nice, so toughen up! Realize that it is a battle, and you are going to suffer some casualties, but don’t let those losses relflect on you or get to your soul. It’s hard, I know, but you will learn soon enough. You may want to talk to the doc about some antidepressants–they really can help boost confidence. I know that it is tough to go "once more into the breach" time and time again, only to get slaughtered most of the time, but you must perservere. Also remember, that strategic retreat is not failure–take some time off from this pinful game called dating to recouperate and learn from your experiences. and, most importantly, READ MY EMAIL!!!!! Thanks, Mike — To reply via email remove the X’s from my email address: Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
It depends largely on the caliber of women that you meet. At your age, as they say, most of the good ones are taken, and for good reason! After all they are the good ones! The ones that are floating around are either divorced (often for good reason too)
Perhaps, but just because a person is divorced that doesn’t make them bad, does it? Generelly speaking for every divorced femaile there is probably a divorced male somewhere – some of them still have to have good qualities. Grace . When God sends the dawn, He sends it for all. – Cervantes Say what is easily forgotten. Do what is easily overlooked. Think what is everlasting. Hugh Prather
Response:
Thanks all. Yes, Mike I got your e-mail on the 2 sites. I replied to you maybe it did not get back to you. This is a good group to get support from. believe it or not this is going to be my second divorce. I guess I didn’t do better the second time around. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jeffo, Did you get the email I sent out to you a couple of weeks ago??? Right now, you are giving off desperate, needy vibes. These are a major turnoff and can be sensed instinctively by both men and women (someday, you’ll run into a depserate woman and know what I mean). Read my email!!! then go out and get a book called "The Evolution of a Warrior." It’s not the greatest piece of literature, but it has some good stuff to help you build your new life. Then, go to the library, and take out a book called "The Rules." It is meant for desperate women, but a lot of the advice is good for men, too. there are some other good relationship books out there as well. Check out your library. Don’t be a doormat when it comes to women. Be a bit of a challenge. Don’t be too nice, too early, or you’ll scare them off (desperate vibes). Don’t go fantasizing about your future life with them on the first date. Remeber that you should go out with someone you actually like and not to try and get every woman to like you. YOU have to be choosy, too!!! The deck is stacked against us, my friend, so we have to be on top of our game, and develop as thick of an emotional shield as we can. We will be rejected more often then we are accepted, and that can be hard to take. Even I am not always able to practice what I preach, but you will soon find that your recovery to rejection is faster each time. Try and forgive yourself, too, for mistakes. I know that I’m not very good at that either, but it is important. You are a rookie–you *will* make errors out there. Just remember that you are in the arena with the lions, and they rarely play nice, so toughen up! Realize that it is a battle, and you are going to suffer some casualties, but don’t let those losses relflect on you or get to your soul. It’s hard, I know, but you will learn soon enough. You may want to talk to the doc about some antidepressants–they really can help boost confidence. I know that it is tough to go "once more into the breach" time and time again, only to get slaughtered most of the time, but you must perservere. Also remember, that strategic retreat is not failure–take some time off from this pinful game called dating to recouperate and learn from your experiences. and, most importantly, READ MY EMAIL!!!!! Thanks, Mike — To reply via email remove the X’s from my email address: Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
2) Have you ever heard the term "Nice guys finish last"? Think about it.
Yes I always make sure that the lady "finishes" first! 
Think about it! — Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Response:
Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games?
Because they can. Really. Generates a sense of moral superiority.
Response:
Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this
When there is a conflict and the playing field isn’t level, you use what you do best. I by far wasn’t the biggest guy in school. I imagine some people would complain that I don’t fight fair.
Response:
Jeffo, Did you get the email I sent out to you a couple of weeks ago??? Right now, you are giving off desperate, needy vibes. These are a major turnoff and can be sensed instinctively by both men and women (someday, you’ll run into a depserate woman and know what I mean). Read my email!!! then go out and get a book called "The Evolution of a Warrior." It’s not the greatest piece of literature, but it has some good stuff to help you build your new life. Then, go to the library, and take out a book called "The Rules." It is meant for desperate women, but a lot of the advice is good for men, too. there are some other good relationship books out there as well. Check out your library. Don’t be a doormat when it comes to women. Be a bit of a challenge. Don’t be too nice, too early, or you’ll scare them off (desperate vibes). Don’t go fantasizing about your future life with them on the first date. Remeber that you should go out with someone you actually like and not to try and get every woman to like you. YOU have to be choosy, too!!! The deck is stacked against us, my friend, so we have to be on top of our game, and develop as thick of an emotional shield as we can. We will be rejected more often then we are accepted, and that can be hard to take. Even I am not always able to practice what I preach, but you will soon find that your recovery to rejection is faster each time. Try and forgive yourself, too, for mistakes. I know that I’m not very good at that either, but it is important. You are a rookie–you *will* make errors out there. Just remember that you are in the arena with the lions, and they rarely play nice, so toughen up! Realize that it is a battle, and you are going to suffer some casualties, but don’t let those losses relflect on you or get to your soul. It’s hard, I know, but you will learn soon enough. You may want to talk to the doc about some antidepressants–they really can help boost confidence. I know that it is tough to go "once more into the breach" time and time again, only to get slaughtered most of the time, but you must perservere. Also remember, that strategic retreat is not failure–take some time off from this pinful game called dating to recouperate and learn from your experiences. and, most importantly, READ MY EMAIL!!!!! Thanks, Mike — To reply via email remove the X’s from my email address:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
Good question. Unfortunately it has no really good answer. People suck. I don’t play head games but I think I’m in the minority. Are you sure your ready to move on if your divorce isn’t even finalized yet??? Hang in there. The loneliness will get less and less intense as the days go by. Peace Karen
Response:
Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it.
Either two things: 1) she was just trying to be nice or doesn’t know how to say no (a lot of women either do not know how to say no* or, in general, do not tend to say what they want or mean. Weird I know, especially since these same women often try to claim some sort of superior position in the art of communicating!) or 2) you’re her #2 in case #1, the Michigan guy, doesn’t work out. In any event she (and you) don’t sound like either of you are on any stable ground to date anyway. Forget her if she’s not interested. If she is interested she’ll come around. If she doesn’t well then you don’t need the grief if you ask me… * Which lead me to a quote that I made up based on many enounters with women being "polite" and putting off a date when it really was that they were not interested. The quote is: "It occurs to me that if women really want men to know that no means no then it is encumbent on them to, once in a while, SAY IT!". The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time.
Have you tried same sex friends? If not, why not? I am ready to move on.
WRT the lady you mentioned, yes, move on. If she’s not interested in you then it’s her loss. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites.
I had a friend who firmly believed that all personal sites should have an entrance way with a sign: "Abandon hope all ye that enter". I didn’t think so at the time. I do now. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it.
Ask yourself this question: What would make somebody interested in you? So you work out and do engineering. Therefore you are looking for a woman who’s either into engineering (good luck!) or working out (also good luck!). Tell me, what do you do for fun? What are your hobbies and passions? Persue them. Meet other people who have similar interests. Hang out with them. Hang out with other guys who have interests like you do (why is it after we get past our 20’s or so that when we think of going out to have fun it is usually the thought of going out on a date with a member of the opposite sex and we give up going out with our same sex friends). Make yourself busy on yourself doing things you like to do and that makes you feel good. Do not worry about finding a love. Right now it doesn’t seem like even you like yourself, how can you expect others to be interested. Another aside, as another 40 something, recently divorced (or in the process), also into engineering but doesn’t work out, perhaps we could get together! I could use somebody as a work out buddy, especially somebody who knows what they are doing, to kick me into going to the gym and getting rid of this excess fat that seems to come with divorce and depression. Actually exercise is good not only to drop wait but to get energy and to combat depression, never mind gets you out of the house and gives you something to do. If interested email me… In the process you will feel good about yourself and not need anybody else. When you get to that place you’ll have a chance at finding somebody else that wants to share there life with you and that you want to share your life with them, because you both will be complete whole people, rather than dating losers to pour your sorrows to and to listen to their sorrows, saying that you’re not looking for a relationship or a one night stand, but wishing that that would happen. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage.
It depends largely on the caliber of women that you meet. At your age, as they say, most of the good ones are taken, and for good reason! After all they are the good ones! The ones that are floating around are either divorced (often for good reason too) or never been married (also for good reason). IOW they are often (but not always) single because they are not a good one (or else they would be married). Rarely is one person a saint and the other a sinner when a marriage fails. It takes two to tango and it takes two to mess up a relationship. So our selection is bad to start with. As I said, work on yourself. Make yourself a better, more interesting, fun person. Do not concern yourself with "mating" either sexually, physically or emotionally. There is so much to do as a single person that can be fun and freeing. Free yourself and explore yourself. If and when you become a person who is interesting, fun, confident, etc you’ll probably feel that you have little or no need to "mate", sexually, physically or emotionally* – hell you’re fun even to yourself. However people do like being with other people, other special people. So while your out having fun, doing what you do best, look for others who are doing the same, others of the opposite sex with the same "single and loving it" attitude and approach them. * Actually I’ve found in my life that it is either when you are scraping the bottom in the throws of depression and loneliness or at the top of your game that humans tend to have a need to be intimately involved with another human being. When at the bottom the need is to "save" you from your depression, loneliness and need – IOW for all the wrong reasons. When you’re at the top of your game you also exprience a need to share all of your good fortune with another – IOW for all the right reasons. Just tired of being alone.
So am I. If only I could implement what I espouse (hmmm… interesting word there…), however I’m just not ready to go down that path yet, soon, but not just right now. Perhaps you’re in a similar situation. Fine. Just remember the goal and the path to get there. Implement it when you can. — Sped up my XT; ran it on 220v! Works greO?_~"
Response:
1) Do yourself a hugh favor, DONT date anyone from work! If things dont work out both your personal and professional life will be screwed up. 2) Have you ever heard the term "Nice guys finish last"? Think about it. Luck Tug
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Why is it people (in my case, women) have to play head games? I asked this gal out she said she would like to. But, has been putting it off. I notice she wasn’t at the office the past 2 days, asked someone where she was. They told me Michigan to visit a guy she met on the net. I mean really if they are not interested just say so. Don’t lead a person on. Going through this divorce is bad enough. And to beat all she is going through a divorce also trying to finalize it. The loneliness is a killer. Just want some companionship, dinner, what ever some somebody to talk to and have a good time. I am ready to move on. What is anyone’s opinion on personals on Yahoo and other sites. I am in engineering and work, workout at a gym and that is about it. How else do you meet people anymore? I am in my mid 40’s. I am descent, respectful and know how to treat a lady. Do they want this any more? Some people say no you can treat women to nice and they will walk all over you. That happened in my marriage. Just tired of being alone.
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
Leave a Comment
XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
TrackBack URL | RSS feed for comments on this post.