Lonely Loneliness

How do you deal with lonliness?

Question:

    I notice that I generally like being along the best,though,as with many other related issues,it’s a vicious cycle.When I’m alone I get lonely and want company,but when I’m around other people,I just want to be safe and alone.However,sometimes when I’m at work,I here my coworkers talk about all the fun they have with friends,and familly and relationships and parties and stuff,and I feel very left out and alone-very lonely.That’s something I went through alot when I was in school.I had some good friends,but I was often very,very lonely.I suppose that part of the human condition is lonliness,but I imagine it’s a continuum,some people are more lonley then others.How does everyone deal with this feeling?In my experiance the lonliness can become a trap.the more alone I am,the more isolated I am,the more isolated I am.the more negative my feelings,thought patterns become,it becomes a very negative cycle,and hard to get out of.   I  was so much older then,I’m younger then that now -Bob Dylan           "ALVINTCHASE"

Response:

I don’t know how to deal with loneliness. Sometimes I enjoy the solitude others I just want to scream for someone to notice me and talk to me. The sad thing is I can be in a room full of people—even people talking to me and I can feel so deseparate and so much on the outside. It hits me wherever and whenever and more often than I can handle. I have tried doing things, reading, writing, typing—-anything.  Nothing works on it.  I can’t call anyone because I don’t have anyone to call. You are right though I think some people are lonelier than others and some people can deal with it alot better. I can’t. Becky Safe in the womb Of an everlasting night You find the darkness can Give the brightest light Safe in your place deep in the earth That’s when they’ll know what you’re really worth Forgotten while you’re here

Response:

I feel very lonely, too.  Weekends are the worst for me.  I see my co-workers and neighbors going out and having fun, I see people with their girlfriends and boyfriends, I see so much happiness, and I feel left out.  I don’t know if this helps you very much, but I really know how you feel.  I’m new to Denver, having moved here from Houston about a year and a half ago.  My pdoc says it takes about 3 years to establish a social life in a new town.  It sure seems like it’s taking a long time.  I wish I could break the cycle, but for now I can’t. Eddie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –     I notice that I generally like being along the best,though,as with many other related issues,it’s a vicious cycle.When I’m alone I get lonely and want company,but when I’m around other people,I just want to be safe and alone.However,sometimes when I’m at work,I here my coworkers talk about all the fun they have with friends,and familly and relationships and parties and stuff,and I feel very left out and alone-very lonely.That’s something I went through alot when I was in school.I had some good friends,but I was often very,very lonely.I suppose that part of the human condition is lonliness,but I imagine it’s a continuum,some people are more lonley then others.How does everyone deal with this feeling?In my experiance the lonliness can become a trap.the more alone I am,the more isolated I am,the more isolated I am.the more negative my feelings,thought patterns become,it becomes a very negative cycle,and hard to get out of.   I  was so much older then,I’m younger then that now -Bob Dylan           "ALVINTCHASE"

Response:

OMG others that actually have conversations with themselves? I try not to get to loud either.  Sometimes I think I am so crazy and others I think it is the only way I will survive—no one else listens. Strange but comforting to know that others out there do this too. Becky Safe in the womb Of an everlasting night You find the darkness can Give the brightest light Safe in your place deep in the earth That’s when they’ll know what you’re really worth Forgotten while you’re here

Response:

I watch buttloads of TV. I talk to myself. I daydream. I read/post/reply on ASD. I build things. I surf the web. R

Response:

I talk to myself.

 I do this too./i have long conversations with myself.I always have.Though lately I try not doing this in above a whisper.   I  was so much older then,I’m younger then that now -Bob Dylan           "ALVINTCHASE"

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –     I notice that I generally like being along the best,though,as with many other related issues,it’s a vicious cycle.When I’m alone I get lonely and want company,but when I’m around other people,I just want to be safe and alone.However,sometimes when I’m at work,I here my coworkers talk about all the fun they have with friends,and familly and relationships and parties and stuff,and I feel very left out and alone-very lonely.That’s something I went through alot when I was in school.I had some good friends,but I was often very,very lonely.I suppose that part of the human condition is lonliness,but I imagine it’s a continuum,some people are more lonley then others.How does everyone deal with this feeling?In my experiance the lonliness can become a trap.the more alone I am,the more isolated I am,the more isolated I am.the more negative my feelings,thought patterns become,it becomes a very negative cycle,and hard to get out of.

I usually feel the same way.  I want to be around people, but then when I am, I’m just scared of putting my foot in my mouth, because it happens so often.  I don’t know why, I just can’t seem to find people who are anything like me, who like the same things I like…I guess I"m just too weird. When this happens, I try to keep my mind off of it, but it’s not easy. Sometimes nothing helps and I start to thik I’m going to be alone forever which really bothers me.  There’s probably nothing that can make me sink down faster than that thought. Sorry…of course, typically, my reply is more about me than about what to do.  I guess it’s because I really don’t know what to do in that situation. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –   I  was so much older then,I’m younger then that now -Bob Dylan           "ALVINTCHASE"

Response:

? I try not to get to loud either.  Sometimes I think I am so crazy and others I think it is the only way I will survive—no one else listens. Strange but comforting to know that others out there do this too. Becky

   I find it embaressing too…but I’ve always been isolated from the time I was a baby.I need SOMEONE to talk to! why can’t I be my friend?…but yes,I do want to cut down on it…   I  was so much older then,I’m younger then that now -Bob Dylan           "ALVINTCHASE"

Response:

The loneliness is beginning to ease up a bit.  Don’t know why.  When I was a child, the loneliness was excruciatingly painful.  I was always wandering around try to find *someone*, ANYONE to play with.  I now think that was one of the causes of my depression. All through school and uni, i reached out to people, all sorts of people trying to find friends.  Never really did.  And there were years in a row when I had NO ONE at all to talk to.  Even to say "good morning." Hmmm … think I’m talking more about the pain of social isolation than loneliness here.  Oh. Anyway.  When I get lonely, I go out of the apartment to some place where there are lots of people.  Living in a big city makes this easy.  The feeling of being alone recedes, usually taking off the edge of the loneliness.  It doesn’t take much to give me a sense of connection to the rest of humanity.  A few words from a waiter, a short exchange with another visitor in a museum, giving directions to a tourist. It is important to remember that loneliness is a big problem for everyone, not just us here in ASDland. Erminia

Response:

I need SOMEONE to talk to! why can’t I be my friend?…but yes,I do want to cut down on it…

My guess is that everyone talks to themselves.  Maybe sometimes they just hold the conversations in their heads – but they are still talking to themselves. It’s not as crazy as it seems.   Loneliness kills. grace . When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.   African Proverb God promises a safe landing,  not a calm passage. (unknown)

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Depression

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