Is this a fetish?
Question:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941EF2C41F087t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "DaKitty" <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct > 2003 19:38:54 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: > >> I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I > >> have this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful > >> women. I’ve never had a girlfriend, because all the times > >> that I had the chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I > >> would want them. When I look at a girl I look for defects > >> in her beauty. If I find too many of those I am sure that > >> I could never be with her in a relationship because of > >> that. Is this a fetish? Do all people have this or only > >> some? > > Only some, usually those with pretty low emotional > > maturity. > Okay. > > Bwaaahahahaha, that’s equal to no standards. and Ewwww! > > No self respecting girl would go out with a guy that would > > go see a hooker. Talk about a major disguisting flaw. > > You may as well have stuck your dick in a sewer. I > > certainly wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. > >> If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > >> like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I > >> consider beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is > >> about 1 to 50. > > Your problem is that you are afraid of real life, and have > > come up with a little fairytale that is very unrealistic, > > as a way to not have to live in real world which is scary > > to you. And which you have no idea how to handle. It’s not > > a fetish, it’s just a maladapted coping mechanisam. > > Probably should see a shrink about that, tmaybe he can reel > > you back to earth. > Okay. > >> If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > >> dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for > >> some other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls > >> that I might get the chance to date and actually mean > >> something to me are 1 out of 1000 or something. > > With the attitude you have, I think your chances are more > > like 1:100,000,000 Hell, may as well add another 20 zeros > > behind that number. > >> Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just > >> me? > > It’s not normal. It’s maladaptive. > > You actually don’t have much to offer to someone that is > > anywhere near perfection. Emotionally or physically. > Well thanks for the support. In case you don’t know where you > are you can check the newsgroups: header.
I have no idea what you mean by that statement. I know where I am, and I know how to read headers. > If you really are so pissed off because you are a female and you > have a problem with what I feel, I can only say that you are > much more shallow than I am.
I’m not pissed off at all. I’m just giving you feedback about how you’re coming across, telling it like it is. And I do happen to know about psychology and human behavior just a tad more than you. It does seem like you have trouble figuring out how you come across to ther people (that may be part of your problem with dating too). I bet that’s why you came up with such an impossible concept of what you like, that precludes you from actually having a relationship. You don’t know how to relate to people, and have some distortions of your own, so you often communicate those distortions to other people, not realizing that they are distortions, and how people may react to them. then you see people reacting negatively to you. A safe way from having your feelings hurt in those situations is to have this ideal that will preclude you from actually meeting someone, but yet you keep affirming to yourself that you do want someone. You think I’m pissed off, because you’re not ready to hear what I’m talking about, afterall, it is extreemely unpleasant to look at one’s self, recognize the flaw, accept one-self in spite of the flaws, and then begin to work on correcting the flaws that we want to correct. It takes most people a lifetime to do that, and many people never muster up the courage to do it. Your rationalization that I must be pissed off is just another defense mechanisam, where you’re protectioing yourself from the unpleasant experience of looking at your own flaws… because, foirst, I bet you think having a flaw is some horrible thing that makes you a bad person… "well, it must be, you probably think, because people react to you negatively because of those flaws." Having a flaw is not a bad thing, but hiding from your own flaws, in a way you do, it can be very destructive to your well being. Your denial is pretty elaborate, which tells me that you’re not totally stupid. Tells me a lot about wnat intelectual level you’re capable of. Now, if you would only find a good shrink, and redirect those efforts towards something a lot more constructive, you’d be making a lot of progress, and relatively fast, perhaps above average. And, the good news is, your distortions aren’t all that unique. It’s a pretty classic case, so, it won’t be that hard to get help. As for tyhinking I’m pissed off… another thing you need to work on, I think I alrewady mentioned that, is learning to understand other people. Some of it will come as you begin to understand yourself. I know you don’t think so, but the information I have gioven you here is very supportive. Most shrinks would charge you about 150 bucks for this, and as you saw, most people in the nesgroup aren’t in the mood to be bothered with someone this far out of whack. People who take care of themselves tend to stay away from things that may affect them negatively. Just like your post here did with a number of people. That’s why they called you a troll, it’s a disbelief that someone can be seriously that much out of whack, and some did get their feelings bruised a bit, and lashed back out at you, or tried to discredit you. You know, kind of like you tried doing to me when I said stuff that didn’t sit well woth you. You said things that didn’t sit well with them. It’s actually a pretty basic emotional response. And, out of curiosity, what would you have considered "supportive?"
Response:
On 24 Oct 2003 07:47:24 GMT, Psymaster <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and >we usually call those fetishists or something like that. >I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have >this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve >never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the >chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. >When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I >find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with >her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do >all people have this or only some? >I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, >which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to >raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his >standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and >I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a >hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I >like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider >beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. >If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at >dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some >other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I >might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me >are 1 out of 1000 or something. >Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
consider whether it might just be an excuse to not get involved with someone else. It can’t be your fault if she is not good enough for you, can it? — – Charles – -does not play well with others
Response:
> I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve
I like flaws. I don’t consider it a fetish. I don’t consider what you have one either.
Response:
Psymaster <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> spake thusly: > Very funny. Attacking a strawman, that’s what you are doing. > Where did I say that I judge people on their looks alone? I > certainly didn’t. You made it up. > Now, don’t tell me that you don’t care about what your partner > looks like.
Aha, so you *are* a troll just like Tara said. Dude, the strawman flame is like from the 1983 flamers handbook. You need to get with the times and get some new material. — A good summary of my beliefs: http://www.upci.org/doctrine
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941EF14F45F4At45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… > CyberDroog <CyberDr…@starfleet.gov> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct > 2003 16:52:49 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: > > Certainly your standards are self-defeating. Saying you > > want a physically perfect woman for a relationship, but > > will accept any old hooker for sex seems bass-ackwards. > If you re-read my initial post, you will see that I put perfect > in " ". Maybe people didn’t understand me very well. I said I > would only date "perfectly" beautiful women. By perfect I mean > by my standards, which in the end means that I wouldn’t date any
The only thing we know about your standards, according to your post is that they include the word "Perfect". If you want people to understand what you mean little better, try to be little more specific. You know, you could have said that you are very "specific" with what you like, and that you are unable to deviate from those specifics much. Still, that is also rather immature… although a stepdown from looking for "perfection" > girls that I wouldn’t consider to be very beautiful. That’s all. > Plus I seem to have very high standards in judging beauty. And I > certainly didn’t say that I would accept any hooker.
actually, you did mention a hooker. Again, you spoke as if you would go to see one if you were horny enough, if you want to be understood, pay more attention to what you;re actually saying, instead of hoping that people will "catch your drift". Just remember, most people don’t think like you. It’s your job to make sure people understand your intentions. That takes getting to know and attempting to understand other people. As you do that, you may find more ‘beaty and perfection" in life.
Response:
On 24 Oct 2003 20:42:01 GMT, Psymaster <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote: >CyberDroog <CyberDr…@starfleet.gov> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct >2003 16:52:49 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: >> Certainly your standards are self-defeating. Saying you >> want a physically perfect woman for a relationship, but >> will accept any old hooker for sex seems bass-ackwards. >If you re-read my initial post, you will see that I put perfect >in " ". Maybe people didn’t understand me very well. I said I >would only date "perfectly" beautiful women. By perfect I mean >by my standards, which in the end means that I wouldn’t date any >girls that I wouldn’t consider to be very beautiful. That’s all. >Plus I seem to have very high standards in judging beauty. And I >certainly didn’t say that I would accept any hooker.
Sounds to me that your standards are askew when you hawk hookers. Sheesh… Tracy Barber
Response:
On 24 Oct 2003 20:45:53 GMT, Psymaster <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->"DaKitty" <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct >2003 19:30:48 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: >> Nod nod. >> Not to mention that judging people on their looks alone is >> incredibly shallow. >> He may as well get himself one of those silicone life like >> dolls, they’re all perfect looks and no personality. It >> should suite his standards. Then one day, when he’s very >> old, he’ll wake up and realize that he wasted his likfe >> loonking ofr something that doesn’t exist (perfection), and >> that he’s missed out on the living. >Very funny. Attacking a strawman, that’s what you are doing. >Where did I say that I judge people on their looks alone? I >certainly didn’t. You made it up. >Now, don’t tell me that you don’t care about what your partner >looks like.
Yes, but I know she’s not on the cover of Cosmo. Neither are yours nor the hookers you substitute with. Tracy Barber
Response:
"Tracy Barber" <Moha…@adirondack-pc.com> wrote in message
news:3f998cc8.21955478@news-server.nycap.rr.com… > On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:30:48 -0700, "DaKitty" > <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote: > >Nod nod. > >Not to mention that judging people on their looks alone is incredibly > >shallow. > Hear hear! > >He may as well get himself one of those silicone life like dolls, they’re > >all perfect looks and no personality. It should suite his standards. > Do they have anatomically correct _____ ? :^P
You should have seen the link Wrecking Ball posted the other day… they look extremely realistic. You can even benc their limbs and pose them. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >Then one day, when he’s very old, he’ll wake up and realize that he wasted > >his likfe loonking ofr something that doesn’t exist (perfection), and that > >he’s missed out on the living. > Roxy Music "In Every Dreamhome, A Heartache." He should listen to it. > —:^) > >"Nom dePlume" <nomdeplume1…@yahoo.com> wrote in message > >news:bnalp206jh@enews4.newsguy.com… > >> I’d call that more an obsession than a fetish, but it is definitely a > >> problem. Excessively rigid and unreasonable standards are a good way > >> to remain unhappy. Really, they allow you to exchange one kind of > >> unhappiness (fear of interaction and failure) with another > >> (loneliness). I had thought this kind of attitude was more a female > >> thing than a male thing, but I can see you have it, too. I hope you > >> can let it go and find a great woman. > >> — > >> Nom dePlume, Ph.D > >> Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist. > >> "Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message > >> news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… > >> > I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > >> > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > >> > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > >> > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > >> > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > >> > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > >> > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > >> > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > >> > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > >> > all people have this or only some? > >> > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > >> > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > >> > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > >> > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > >> > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > >> > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > >> > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > >> > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. > >> > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > >> > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > >> > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > >> > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > >> > are 1 out of 1000 or something. > >> > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me? > Tracy Barber
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941EEFB911001t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "DaKitty" <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct > 2003 20:19:48 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: > > Then consider that you are posting without giving out your > > identity, and that several times we had angry trolls > > crossposting in just the two groups that you happen to > > crosspost in, makes a lot of people wionder if you’re not > > one of the frequent troll, who just changed his name to get > > people going. > snip > Well, what can I say… > Thanks for the support guys!
support comes in many ways. Perpetuating your fairytale would not be supportive, it would be desctuctive, in spite of it tmporarily making you feel good. I’m sorry that you’re not ready to hear about and tackle the issues. Your little lashing out is rather indicative of people nailing the issue. As deep as your distortion is, your reaction is actually rather predictable. You have a pretty tough road ahead of you. The sooner you are open to things that sound unpleasant and bothersome, and contemplate them, instead of acting dejected and lashing out, the sooner things will get easier for you. In the meantime,.. well, it will be painful to watch, but you’re the one that has the choice. Just like you had a choice to take the positive in the posts, (there was a lot of it), you choose to snip out and zero in on the negative, and found a good excuse to shut it all out and turn away. It kind of fits the pattern of how you relate to women too. I wonder how many other aspects of your life you handle this way. I know you don’t want to hear any of this right now,… Perhaps in another 7-10 years when you;re ready to do some maturing, you;ll vaguely recall what was said in here. Good luck.
Response:
On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:30:48 -0700, "DaKitty" <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote: >Nod nod. >Not to mention that judging people on their looks alone is incredibly >shallow.
Hear hear! >He may as well get himself one of those silicone life like dolls, they’re >all perfect looks and no personality. It should suite his standards.
Do they have anatomically correct _____ ? :^P >Then one day, when he’s very old, he’ll wake up and realize that he wasted >his likfe loonking ofr something that doesn’t exist (perfection), and that >he’s missed out on the living.
Roxy Music "In Every Dreamhome, A Heartache." He should listen to it. —:^) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->"Nom dePlume" <nomdeplume1…@yahoo.com> wrote in message >news:bnalp206jh@enews4.newsguy.com… >> I’d call that more an obsession than a fetish, but it is definitely a >> problem. Excessively rigid and unreasonable standards are a good way >> to remain unhappy. Really, they allow you to exchange one kind of >> unhappiness (fear of interaction and failure) with another >> (loneliness). I had thought this kind of attitude was more a female >> thing than a male thing, but I can see you have it, too. I hope you >> can let it go and find a great woman. >> — >> Nom dePlume, Ph.D >> Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist. >> "Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message >> news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… >> > I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and >> > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. >> > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have >> > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve >> > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the >> > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. >> > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I >> > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with >> > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do >> > all people have this or only some? >> > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, >> > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to >> > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his >> > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and >> > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a >> > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I >> > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider >> > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. >> > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at >> > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some >> > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I >> > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me >> > are 1 out of 1000 or something. >> > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
Tracy Barber
Response:
"DaKitty" <Imgo…@dotcomsomething.net> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2003 20:19:48 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: > Then consider that you are posting without giving out your > identity, and that several times we had angry trolls > crossposting in just the two groups that you happen to > crosspost in, makes a lot of people wionder if you’re not > one of the frequent troll, who just changed his name to get > people going.
snip Well, what can I say… Thanks for the support guys!
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941EB4610670t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… > theho…@pooh.corner wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2003 12:42:16 GMT > in alt.support.loneliness: > >><(((*> I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, > >>but I have <(((*> this problem. I like only "perfectly" > >>beautiful women. > > Looks like a troll to me. > Why? For fuck’s sake, why?
because, posted in a depression newsgroup, where there is a lot of sensitive people (women included), you’ve just made every single woman in the group feel like crap, because none of us think we come even clos to perfect. And usually, it’s only the man trolls, or people that are very far out of whack that post statements like that, in hope they would get a rise out of people in here. So if your initial post really is sincere, stop and consider just how far out of whack (norm) your thinking is. And after you’ve single handedly made all women in here feel bad and demeanned, you wonder why some of them may think not so nice things about you? Or even think you’re trying to get a rise out of them for your entertainment (which would be trolling). Then consider that you are posting without giving out your identity, and that several times we had angry trolls crossposting in just the two groups that you happen to crosspost in, makes a lot of people wionder if you’re not one of the frequent troll, who just changed his name to get people going. And if you’re sincere… If normal thinking on the subject that you brought up is gaged at noon, you’re about at six o’clock. Yes, that far out of whack.
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… > I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > all people have this or only some?
Only some, usually those with pretty low emotional maturity. > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > hooker.
Bwaaahahahaha, that’s equal to no standards. and Ewwww! No self respecting girl would go out with a guy that would go see a hooker. Talk about a major disguisting flaw. You may as well have stuck your dick in a sewer. I certainly wouldn’t touch it with a 10 foot pole. > If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50.
Your problem is that you are afraid of real life, and have come up with a little fairytale that is very unrealistic, as a way to not have to live in real world which is scary to you. And which you have no idea how to handle. It’s not a fetish, it’s just a maladapted coping mechanisam. Probably should see a shrink about that, tmaybe he can reel you back to earth. > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > are 1 out of 1000 or something.
With the attitude you have, I think your chances are more like 1:100,000,000 Hell, may as well add another 20 zeros behind that number. > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
It’s not normal. It’s maladaptive. You actually don’t have much to offer to someone that is anywhere near perfection. Emotionally or physically.
Response:
>Certainly your standards are self-defeating.
Why doesn’t anyone ever tell women that their high standards are self-defeating?
Response:
Nod nod. Not to mention that judging people on their looks alone is incredibly shallow. He may as well get himself one of those silicone life like dolls, they’re all perfect looks and no personality. It should suite his standards. Then one day, when he’s very old, he’ll wake up and realize that he wasted his likfe loonking ofr something that doesn’t exist (perfection), and that he’s missed out on the living. "Nom dePlume" <nomdeplume1…@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:bnalp206jh@enews4.newsguy.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’d call that more an obsession than a fetish, but it is definitely a > problem. Excessively rigid and unreasonable standards are a good way > to remain unhappy. Really, they allow you to exchange one kind of > unhappiness (fear of interaction and failure) with another > (loneliness). I had thought this kind of attitude was more a female > thing than a male thing, but I can see you have it, too. I hope you > can let it go and find a great woman. > — > Nom dePlume, Ph.D > Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist. > "Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message > news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… > > I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > > all people have this or only some? > > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. > > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > > are 1 out of 1000 or something. > > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
Response:
jimsummer…@aol.com (Jim Summers87) wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2003 08:02:23 GMT in alt.support.loneliness: > When I find a truly beautiful woman she is usually already > married or has so many guys dating her that I don’t stand a > chance. This notion that there are so many available women > out there wherever you go is just nonsense.
Damn right. >It now makes > me realize that these guys who are the biggest players and > sleep with the most women are usually sleeping with skanks. > They seem to be attracted to women just for being women. I > find that kind of odd.
I would prefer to die than to have to show an ugly girl to my friend and say "This is my girlfriend".
Response:
On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 09:15:43 GMT, Charles <ckr…@SPAMTRAPwest.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->On 24 Oct 2003 07:47:24 GMT, Psymaster <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> >wrote: >>I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and >>we usually call those fetishists or something like that. >>I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have >>this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve >>never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the >>chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. >>When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I >>find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with >>her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do >>all people have this or only some? >>I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, >>which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to >>raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his >>standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and >>I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a >>hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I >>like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider >>beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. >>If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at >>dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some >>other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I >>might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me >>are 1 out of 1000 or something. >>Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me? >consider whether it might just be an excuse to not get involved with >someone else. It can’t be your fault if she is not good enough for >you, can it?
Good point. Tracy Barber
Response:
"%" <su…@uniserve.com> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2003 07:49:46 GMT in alt.support.depression: > no this is not a fetish , it’s a lie
How do you know, idiot?
Response:
"%" <su…@uniserve.com> wrote on Fri, 24 Oct 2003 07:51:40 GMT in alt.support.depression: > it was a fetish in alt.support.depression , but it’s not a > fault in your crossposted choice , > there , it’s just sick
What are you talking about?
Response:
theho…@pooh.corner <theho…@pooh.corner> spake thusly: > On 24 Oct 2003 07:47:24 GMT, Psymaster > <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote: >> <(((*> I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have >> <(((*> this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. > Looks like a troll to me.
I agree. If what he wrote *is* true (which I doubt) then he’s one shallow individual. — A good summary of my beliefs: http://www.upci.org/doctrine
Response:
I’d call that more an obsession than a fetish, but it is definitely a problem. Excessively rigid and unreasonable standards are a good way to remain unhappy. Really, they allow you to exchange one kind of unhappiness (fear of interaction and failure) with another (loneliness). I had thought this kind of attitude was more a female thing than a male thing, but I can see you have it, too. I hope you can let it go and find a great woman. — Nom dePlume, Ph.D Why, yes, in fact, I am a rocket scientist. "Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > all people have this or only some? > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > are 1 out of 1000 or something. > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
Response:
>Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
No, I don’t think you are alone on this. For me, I don’t find women attractive if they don’t dress like women. For example, there was this brunette who always wore jeans and T-Shirts, she probably wasn’t that bad looking but I just hate women who dress like men so I didn’t give her a chance at all. To me, a woman has to look overly feminine..lots of makeup, skirts, stockings, high heels, etc…I also need a woman to have a perfect ass. What really annoys me is how I meet ordinary women who want guys who are so perfect. There was this one blonde girl who was very short and had a big butt and didn’t dress feminine at all and yet this girl was absolutely shocked when I rejected her. She spent the next 4 months of class just staring at me with a look on her face of, "Why don’t you like me?" It amazes me that women with obvious imperfections have such high standards. I simply don’t understand how society got this bad for men in the dating scene. When I find a truly beautiful woman she is usually already married or has so many guys dating her that I don’t stand a chance. This notion that there are so many available women out there wherever you go is just nonsense. It now makes me realize that these guys who are the biggest players and sleep with the most women are usually sleeping with skanks. They seem to be attracted to women just for being women. I find that kind of odd.
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > all people have this or only some? > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > are 1 out of 1000 or something. > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
it was a fetish in alt.support.depression , but it’s not a fault in your crossposted choice , there , it’s just sick
Response:
"Psymaster" <nosmapple…@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:Xns941E6DFB56064t45fs6vve@130.133.1.4… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and > we usually call those fetishists or something like that. > I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have > this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve > never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the > chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. > When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I > find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with > her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do > all people have this or only some? > I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, > which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to > raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his > standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and > I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a > hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I > like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider > beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. > If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at > dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some > other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I > might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me > are 1 out of 1000 or something. > Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
no this is not a fetish , it’s a lie
Response:
I mean, I know there are people who like ears, feet etc. and we usually call those fetishists or something like that. I know that all(?) men like beautiful women most, but I have this problem. I like only "perfectly" beautiful women. I’ve never had a girlfriend, because all the times that I had the chance the girls weren’t as beautiful as I would want them. When I look at a girl I look for defects in her beauty. If I find too many of those I am sure that I could never be with her in a relationship because of that. Is this a fetish? Do all people have this or only some? I was with a friend the other day and he pointed to a girl, which (of course) I didn’t like. So I told him that he has to raise his standards. He replied that if he was to raise his standards he will never get any (sex). I thought about it and I realised that I don’t care. If I want sex I’ll just go to a hooker. If I want a relationship, I’ll do it with a girl I like. But the problem is that my estimated "girls I consider beautiful" to "girls I have no interest in" is about 1 to 50. If you take into account that I’m not incredibly good at dating, that I’m not ultra good-looking, and I look for some other stuff besides that, I believe that the girls that I might get the chance to date and actually mean something to me are 1 out of 1000 or something. Is this normal, do a lot of people have it or is it just me?
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
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