Lonely Loneliness

Is this depression?

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Just thought someone could help? Do you feel like you’ve been building up to something? Spent you’re whole life working up to one big event. I do… I’ve always felt this way but recently its been the only thing on my mind. I have no idea what it is, but I know its big and better then anything I know. I can’t explain this feeling, but its there. Just sitting in the back of my mind, tormenting me, killing me slowly. Or am I mad? I’m probably going insane. I feel like I’m Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".. not so much as thinking the whole world revolves around me.. but more like, I’ve been selected for something. Something higher then everyday life. Maybe I can’t come to terms with this is all it is. My life is just a period in which I get a job and eventually die. Today I had an internal physics exam, it was to help our tutor to write our statements. On the back of the paper he asked us to write our plans for the future… you know, Universities and jobs…. I ended up writing two sides on where I’m going from here. I said how I don’t know what to do, gave him several possibilities and ended it with "I guess I’m keeping my options open." which is a half-truth. In that I have options, but I plan to raise to this "next level" so I don’t plan. I got so confused earlier that I went on-line. After searching for a solution, all I could find was a load of religious sites telling me that this feeling is loneliness, and that it can be rectified by giving my self to Jesus, that he would remove this empty void. I would have believed it too, had I not done physics and believe the bible was created by a genius in the past, hoping to invent a creator that future confused people can turn to for clarity. Maybe everyone goes through this phase. This "What’s the point" phase. Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… Paul Cz  .  17 .  UK

I’m thinkin you’ll be over it pretty soon

Response:

Ooow a 6k post! The biggest yet! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Paul, I just think that your approaching the subject so quickly (on that paper) left you feeling uncomfortable because you didn’t have an easy answer … but remember it’s not an easy question. You’ve presented some interesting questions, though. Blade is basically right that dealing with life usually takes over and clutters the mind to over shadow ones big picture questions. Spend some time trying to figure out every thing about computers, that can occupy you quite well. Just try to understand windows! I’d say religion, for the religious, does the same thing … there’s philosophies, dictates, scenerios and justifications for any sort of general question. In the case of christainity, there’s loads of conflicting information as well, to occupy any questioning mind for life, and then some I’m not sure how it balances out, but religion has averted many mental problems for lots of people, and also been the root cause of mental problems for others. (There are religions that don’t try to be so controlling of the individual for those that want religion and have problems with christainity.) Anyways … I’m pretty sure that the way you described feeling in the first part of your letter isn’t so unusual. I had a short period of time where I let my imagination take that feeling way to far. I think in your case just now, you could benefit a great deal by taking a serious assessment of what you might like to do with your life … based upon personal interests, what you feel is important, how you feel you could best be of service if you think that would be important to you. And enlist the help of some people. Talk to your parents and grand parents … if you have access to career counselors, school counselors, some adults that are doing different things, friends etc. Maybe take some notes or build some lists, try to be organized so you don’t drive yourself mad. This could be a perfect time to begin to focus on some direction, at least begin to decide where to focus. But there’s no great harm in not knowing and either working some different jobs or studying things that you like and have general useful knowledge. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW, but this is a good time to think about it … I would say it is depression Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… You have too much time to think, thats what I had, and when you think you look at the bigger picture, know one knows their purpose in life until its over (usually) so just stop thinking about it and go with the flow (is what I do). I’ve had about a month of the "whats the point?" phase and it sucks, your life cannot progress to a point if you sit around wondering what it is. Give yourself a really big task to complete i.e. yesterday I built a PC (avec mes amis), school was something that meant a lot to me as I could complete big tasks everyday and not have to look at the bigger picture and now I’m moving onto college and for a few weeks I was bored 24 hours a day. You get the point, there is no big thing in life, so set yourself little things, I guess you just have to enjoy every little bit of life, instead of looking for a final outcome (which is death, which is why I became suicidal for a period). You get the point I’m sure. Just thought someone could help? Do you feel like you’ve been building up to something? Spent you’re whole life working up to one big event. I do… I’ve always felt this way but recently its been the only thing on my mind. I have no idea what it is, but I know its big and better then anything I know. I can’t explain this feeling, but its there. Just sitting in the back of my mind, tormenting me, killing me slowly. Or am I mad? I’m probably going insane. I feel like I’m Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".. not so much as thinking the whole world revolves around me.. but more like, I’ve been selected for something. Something higher then everyday life. Maybe I can’t come to terms with this is all it is. My life is just a period in which I get a job and eventually die. Today I had an internal physics exam, it was to help our tutor to write our statements. On the back of the paper he asked us to write our plans for the future… you know, Universities and jobs…. I ended up writing two sides on where I’m going from here. I said how I don’t know what to do, gave him several possibilities and ended it with "I guess I’m keeping my options open." which is a half-truth. In that I have options, but I plan to raise to this "next level" so I don’t plan. I got so confused earlier that I went on-line. After searching for a solution, all I could find was a load of religious sites telling me that this feeling is loneliness, and that it can be rectified by giving my self to Jesus, that he would remove this empty void. I would have believed it too, had I not done physics and believe the bible was created by a genius in the past, hoping to invent a creator that future confused people can turn to for clarity. Maybe everyone goes through this phase. This "What’s the point" phase. Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… Paul Cz  .  17 .  UK

Response:

Paul, I just think that your approaching the subject so quickly (on that paper) left you feeling uncomfortable because you didn’t have an easy answer … but remember it’s not an easy question. You’ve presented some interesting questions, though. Blade is basically right that dealing with life usually takes over and clutters the mind to over shadow ones big picture questions. Spend some time trying to figure out every thing about computers, that can occupy you quite well. Just try to understand windows! I’d say religion, for the religious, does the same thing … there’s philosophies, dictates, scenerios and justifications for any sort of general question. In the case of christainity, there’s loads of conflicting information as well, to occupy any questioning mind for life, and then some   I’m not sure how it balances out, but religion has averted many mental problems for lots of people, and also been the root cause of mental problems for others. (There are religions that don’t try to be so controlling of the individual for those that want religion and have problems with christainity.) Anyways … I’m pretty sure that the way you described feeling in the first part of your letter isn’t so unusual. I had a short period of time where I let my imagination take that feeling way to far. I think in your case just now, you could benefit a great deal by taking a serious assessment of what you might like to do with your life … based upon personal interests, what you feel is important, how you feel you could best be of service if you think that would be important to you. And enlist the help of some people. Talk to your parents and grand parents … if you have access to career counselors, school counselors, some adults that are doing different things, friends etc. Maybe take some notes or build some lists, try to be organized so you don’t drive yourself mad. This could be a perfect time to begin to focus on some direction, at least begin to decide where to focus. But there’s no great harm in not knowing and either working some different jobs or studying things that you like and have general useful knowledge. YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW, but this is a good time to think about it … – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I would say it is depression Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… You have too much time to think, thats what I had, and when you think you look at the bigger picture, know one knows their purpose in life until its over (usually) so just stop thinking about it and go with the flow (is what I do). I’ve had about a month of the "whats the point?" phase and it sucks, your life cannot progress to a point if you sit around wondering what it is. Give yourself a really big task to complete i.e. yesterday I built a PC (avec mes amis), school was something that meant a lot to me as I could complete big tasks everyday and not have to look at the bigger picture and now I’m moving onto college and for a few weeks I was bored 24 hours a day. You get the point, there is no big thing in life, so set yourself little things, I guess you just have to enjoy every little bit of life, instead of looking for a final outcome (which is death, which is why I became suicidal for a period). You get the point I’m sure. Just thought someone could help? Do you feel like you’ve been building up to something? Spent you’re whole life working up to one big event. I do… I’ve always felt this way but recently its been the only thing on my mind. I have no idea what it is, but I know its big and better then anything I know. I can’t explain this feeling, but its there. Just sitting in the back of my mind, tormenting me, killing me slowly. Or am I mad? I’m probably going insane. I feel like I’m Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".. not so much as thinking the whole world revolves around me.. but more like, I’ve been selected for something. Something higher then everyday life. Maybe I can’t come to terms with this is all it is. My life is just a period in which I get a job and eventually die. Today I had an internal physics exam, it was to help our tutor to write our statements. On the back of the paper he asked us to write our plans for the future… you know, Universities and jobs…. I ended up writing two sides on where I’m going from here. I said how I don’t know what to do, gave him several possibilities and ended it with "I guess I’m keeping my options open." which is a half-truth. In that I have options, but I plan to raise to this "next level" so I don’t plan. I got so confused earlier that I went on-line. After searching for a solution, all I could find was a load of religious sites telling me that this feeling is loneliness, and that it can be rectified by giving my self to Jesus, that he would remove this empty void. I would have believed it too, had I not done physics and believe the bible was created by a genius in the past, hoping to invent a creator that future confused people can turn to for clarity. Maybe everyone goes through this phase. This "What’s the point" phase. Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… Paul Cz  .  17 .  UK

Response:

Just thought someone could help? Do you feel like you’ve been building up to something? Spent you’re whole life working up to one big event. I do… I’ve always felt this way but recently its been the only thing on my mind. I have no idea what it is, but I know its big and better then anything I know. I can’t explain this feeling, but its there. Just sitting in the back of my mind, tormenting me, killing me slowly. Or am I mad? I’m probably going insane. I feel like I’m Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".. not so much as thinking the whole world revolves around me.. but more like, I’ve been selected for something. Something higher then everyday life. Maybe I can’t come to terms with this is all it is. My life is just a period in which I get a job and eventually die. Today I had an internal physics exam, it was to help our tutor to write our statements. On the back of the paper he asked us to write our plans for the future… you know, Universities and jobs…. I ended up writing two sides on where I’m going from here. I said how I don’t know what to do, gave him several possibilities and ended it with "I guess I’m keeping my options open." which is a half-truth. In that I have options, but I plan to raise to this "next level" so I don’t plan. I got so confused earlier that I went on-line. After searching for a solution, all I could find was a load of religious sites telling me that this feeling is loneliness, and that it can be rectified by giving my self to Jesus, that he would remove this empty void. I would have believed it too, had I not done physics and believe the bible was created by a genius in the past, hoping to invent a creator that future confused people can turn to for clarity. Maybe everyone goes through this phase. This "What’s the point" phase. Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… Paul Cz  .  17 .  UK

Response:

I would say it is depression Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep…

You have too much time to think, thats what I had, and when you think you look at the bigger picture, know one knows their purpose in life until its over (usually) so just stop thinking about it and go with the flow (is what I do). I’ve had about a month of the "whats the point?" phase and it sucks, your life cannot progress to a point if you sit around wondering what it is. Give yourself a really big task to complete i.e. yesterday I built a PC (avec mes amis), school was something that meant a lot to me as I could complete big tasks everyday and not have to look at the bigger picture and now I’m moving onto college and for a few weeks I was bored 24 hours a day. You get the point, there is no big thing in life, so set yourself little things, I guess you just have to enjoy every little bit of life, instead of looking for a final outcome (which is death, which is why I became suicidal for a period). You get the point I’m sure. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just thought someone could help? Do you feel like you’ve been building up to something? Spent you’re whole life working up to one big event. I do… I’ve always felt this way but recently its been the only thing on my mind. I have no idea what it is, but I know its big and better then anything I know. I can’t explain this feeling, but its there. Just sitting in the back of my mind, tormenting me, killing me slowly. Or am I mad? I’m probably going insane. I feel like I’m Jim Carrey in "The Truman Show".. not so much as thinking the whole world revolves around me.. but more like, I’ve been selected for something. Something higher then everyday life. Maybe I can’t come to terms with this is all it is. My life is just a period in which I get a job and eventually die. Today I had an internal physics exam, it was to help our tutor to write our statements. On the back of the paper he asked us to write our plans for the future… you know, Universities and jobs…. I ended up writing two sides on where I’m going from here. I said how I don’t know what to do, gave him several possibilities and ended it with "I guess I’m keeping my options open." which is a half-truth. In that I have options, but I plan to raise to this "next level" so I don’t plan. I got so confused earlier that I went on-line. After searching for a solution, all I could find was a load of religious sites telling me that this feeling is loneliness, and that it can be rectified by giving my self to Jesus, that he would remove this empty void. I would have believed it too, had I not done physics and believe the bible was created by a genius in the past, hoping to invent a creator that future confused people can turn to for clarity. Maybe everyone goes through this phase. This "What’s the point" phase. Maybe I just board as hell and am getting too deep… Paul Cz  .  17 .  UK

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Depression

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