Life between darkness and light….. go figure…
Question:
{{{{{darkman}}}}} Wow… Thanks…. Warm hugs, TK – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Depression: a sad void in time lost forever. Definition: A darkness and deep longing for the things that could have been. My days are filled with deep regret. My nights consumed with horror as I remember large and small, the things that might have been had only I been able to recall that endless fight does always end; upon the plains of desolation. Where all was rich on yesterday, now nothing is at hand. When last I looked my spirit soared with heart so full, through rich cool air above the days of summer. Now there is no joy at all; as I land upon the killing fields of summer turned to fall. Reliving every careless act as if it were today, I am forced to accept the final fact that conscience does demand, as spring turns into fall. A long remembered, wished forgotten tundra’s now my home. There is no light to find my way; no air to breath, no longer faith to spare. This familiar place is real, this island called despair. Through once clear and seeing eyes; surveying all within my realm; those times and deeds are dimmed by now; just ever fading photographs, glowing through the twilight of the wasteland called my mind. As I wonder now, what I might have thought, as clouds flew by my mind, just a never ending thought, a paragraph, no end to which, my deeds would run, no backwards could I fall, just a lonely paragraph, with once again to measure what?…. within my mind as summer turns to fall. With hope removed and faith as well, I drown in death that never ends in this unearthly prison cell; the unrelenting passion play who’s title is despair. There is no truth to hold; to turn the tide of battles fought within remainders of my mind. Inside this looking glass, no image can be found as time and shadows pass, as I once again I gaze into the depthless horror, lifeless eyes, the looking glass, as sight unfolds behind my precious mind. Of all things good and evil both, there is nothing to compare. I hate myself and wish me dust for what I have become. I long to be the man I was, but now he is not there. Depression’s truly hell when heartbreaks lost, when hope is gone, and breath has no more air. Although I cry in loneliness my silent screams remain unheard. The sadness of a broken heart and mind to most does surely sound absurd. "Just get back up. I hear some say. "Come on get up! Get on your way! Just use your will and rise on up! Get on with it and, face the day!" I hate them for their thoughtless words which basis lies in fact. I hate them for their memories; and….. mine as well….. of friends and lovers now and lost forgetfully regardless of the mindless thoughtless cost. They stare and wonder where I am and if I’m coming back to them regardless of the cost. They cannot know the price of heart, the cost of which is measured by this mystery I face. The timeless age of wondrous thought; a mind that bloomed and died. A person, sigh…. who had to live, as witness to the loves he had and witness to the loves he’d lost. Reserves once filled to bursting gone; as sure as life does not go on, within the grasp of endless night. It’s now I must renew the fight to find, to fight my way back home. The war goes on as battles rage, some won and others lost. The meds might help between the lines, but in the end I always find, the truth behind the truth or dare lies within the will to live, and, so the battle still goes on for possession of my mind. Remember this as well my friend, you’ll find it to be true. Upon the plains of desolation bleach the bones of countless thousands; who upon their hesitation have wasted away and died. So, I beg you all, to please recall these times of brutal pain; and spare yourselves these times of grief when light comes out again. I beg you with a silent….. and, a loving kiss…. Do not embrace your illness. - darkman
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
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