My life SUCKS!!!!
Question:
I am interrupting, I know this.. I am sorry.. caring hugs to you FV what you deal and have delt with is difficult and you have great inner strength.. Pamela – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<yo_fl…@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:8dv99b$341$1@nnrp1.deja.com… > Hi Lindsey : > I’ve read your post and I knew I had to write… > Maybe If I tell U a (small but nevertheless significant) part of > my "story" I can contribute for U to feel (a little…) better… > 3 years ago was diagnosed a cancer on my father… > Somehow I’ve managed alone (with the support of my girlfriend) to > maintain an environment for him and for my mother less painfull as > possible… > Meanwhile, when I was in between sessions of chemeotherapy with > him "I’ve managed" to get for myself my own cancer !!! > That’s right, it was diagnosed a thyrhoid cancer on me. I’ve had 3 > sucessive operations (along with the necessary treatments) just to free > myself from this… > Meanwhile 2 weeks after the first operation, my father dies… > Where does it leave me ? Pain, suffering, grief… U name it… > No one to care, besides my girlfriend, and my old mother to take care > and to keep an eye on… > What I’m trying to say is that you’re alive, your brother is alive and > even if you’re having now difficult times, If U got health and if > you’ve got each other, there’s nothing U can’t leave behind… > However U will play an important part on this… > Lots of caring and attention is what your brother is expecting from U… > U must do your part… > Hope that it helps… > Take care (U and your brother)… > FV > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > Before you buy.
Response:
> I am interrupting, I know this.. I am sorry..
No, Pamela ! You’re not interrupting… All that we can do to help others that are in pain is welcomed… 
Maybe that way we can support ourselves and feel a little better too… Am I right ? > caring hugs to you FV what you deal and have delt with is difficult
and you have great inner strength.. I’m touched by your words… My so-called "great inner strength" isn’t doing much good to the guilt that I seem to be having… Why ? How can I be wishing to be with besides a friend that I’ve recently met when my girlfriend gives me so much love and support ? God is putting some HEAVY rocks on my way… Do U have somekind of a truck to pull them off from my path ? )) FV P.S.: I’m not a religious type of person but nevertheless I consider myself a good person… The next question is : Define good… I guess good for me is trying to not hurt somebody… Especially the loved ones… Sometimes we can’t help it… That’s life… Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
<yo_fl…@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:8e0tin$qdk$1@nnrp1.deja.com…
<gentle snips here and there> > No, Pamela ! You’re not interrupting… > All that we can do to help others that are in pain is welcomed… > Maybe that way we can support ourselves and feel a little better too… > Am I right ?
Yes FV your right.. thank you for the possitive in reply.. <grin> > My so-called "great inner strength" isn’t doing much good to the guilt > that I seem to be having… > Why ? How can I be wishing to be with besides a friend that I’ve > recently met when my girlfriend gives me so much love and support ?
Well.. you really have to think this one through.. the freind, how much give and take is there.. is their a chance it could be more.. and if you were in need, would that freind be as supportive.. also.. the girlfreind that you have who has been there for you.. what got lost from what you had? Is it recoverable.. Are you just looking because your bored, lonely, not getting enough from the relationship, you grew she didn’t, she takes to much care of you, um.. many thoughts you must think.. can you keep the freindship with this girlfreind, how will she respond.. do you really want guilt to rule your relationship.. are you dependent on her being there for you.. is she dependent on taking care of you.. think.. hope this helps.. > God is putting some HEAVY rocks on my way…
and sometimes he places stones down for us to walk upon with another temporarily until we can find the bridge of the next path.. sometimes he gives us another to walk beside us for awhile for a purpose.. sometimes.. he says.. I will show you both options, you have free will .. make your choice, I won’t carry you.. but I will take your hand when or if you fall and help pull you back.. kay > Do U have somekind of a truck to pull them off from my path ? ))
<grin> sure.. follow your heart, make your decisions, walk your path and know.. your human if you fall, and when you do.. learn from them so you walk taller the next time around.. > FV > P.S.: I’m not a religious type of person but nevertheless I consider > myself a good person… The next question is : Define good… > I guess good for me is trying to not hurt somebody… Especially the > loved ones… Sometimes we can’t help it… > That’s life…
Yes, it is.. you made an elequant statement as to where you will probably go.. forward and sometimes it hurts others.. but if you care, really care about them, the hurt will not be as hard to take for it is truth and honesty.. personally, I would think in the long run, it would be so very detrimental to commit to someone just out of gratitude, for if you don’t "love" then the way you should love the one you commit to.. you will hurt her more as the years pass and you don’t want her anymore.. Pamela
Response:
Thank you all for your kind words of advise and support. Now that it’s been a couple of weeks that he first went in and he is getting settled things don’t seem so dismal as they first did. The chance for parole is good and the prison he is in is the best around as far as minimum security goes. All your thoughts and prayers helped me a great deal and I thank you once again. I always know that someone will be here for me when the need arises. Lindsey "sandi" <sandistreakNOsaS…@aol.com.invalid> wrote in message
news:302f79d3.d2898b8a@usw-ex0107-050.remarq.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I can remember a specific night in 1988 when I felt so much dispare I > cannot put the feelings into words. I prayed to God so I could sleep, > the feelings were more than I could bear…something happened…it was > as though God reached down from heaven and wrapped his loving arms > around me, and provided a compassion that brought me comfort so > profound I fell into a deep sleep and rested. I will never forget that > experience. When I’m psychologically and emotionally drained I pray for > God to comfort me like he did that night once again. > I have a legal background and know how terrifying and mindbending > miscarriages of justice can be. However, as little of a consolation as > it may sound, now as you read this…your brother may use his time > productively while incarcerated and have a positive life altering > experience. Inspite of how negitive the experience appears. > I hope my experience helps comfort you a little. (I lost my baby twin > infants in a terrible miscarriage of justice, to a wealthy couple > forever.) > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
good to hear this Lindsay… stay positive (as positive as you can 
honest love, ric "If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; Now put the foundations under them." ~~ Henry David Thoreau ~~ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lindsey wrote in message … >Thank you all for your kind words of advise and support. Now that it’s been >a couple of weeks that he first went in and he is getting settled things >don’t seem so dismal as they first did. The chance for parole is good and >the prison he is in is the best around as far as minimum security goes. >All your thoughts and prayers helped me a great deal and I thank you once >again. I always know that someone will be here for me when the need arises. >Lindsey >"sandi" <sandistreakNOsaS…@aol.com.invalid> wrote in message >news:302f79d3.d2898b8a@usw-ex0107-050.remarq.com… >> I can remember a specific night in 1988 when I felt so much dispare I >> cannot put the feelings into words. I prayed to God so I could sleep, >> the feelings were more than I could bear…something happened…it was >> as though God reached down from heaven and wrapped his loving arms >> around me, and provided a compassion that brought me comfort so >> profound I fell into a deep sleep and rested. I will never forget that >> experience. When I’m psychologically and emotionally drained I pray for >> God to comfort me like he did that night once again. >> I have a legal background and know how terrifying and mindbending >> miscarriages of justice can be. However, as little of a consolation as >> it may sound, now as you read this…your brother may use his time >> productively while incarcerated and have a positive life altering >> experience. Inspite of how negitive the experience appears. >> I hope my experience helps comfort you a little. (I lost my baby twin >> infants in a terrible miscarriage of justice, to a wealthy couple >> forever.) >> * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network >* >> The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
(((((((((HUGS Lindsey))))))))))) I am sorry for you and your brother and family.. you must be falling apart inside.. I would be, I know this.. I wish I could help you feel better but I can not but give you a virtual hug or two and listen.. Each of us makes our own choices, sometimes we make horrible mistakes the penalties are high for our mistakes that go against laws or hurt other people.. I do not know what your brother did, but I do know if he is truly remorseful learns from his mistake and prepares himself to redirect and achieve, sometimes the sentence will be reduced but it would depend upon the crime and the method to commit it he used.. I hope in some way my hugs to you help.. love your brother enough to go and visit him and show him you love him and will not be one to let him go for his mistakes. ((((((((hugs))))))))) Pamela "Lindsey" <moovell…@home.com> wrote in message
news:qjTJ4.137180$Dv1.1488174@news1.rdc1.bc.home.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got > sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking > that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell > in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little > too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, > almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was > being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his > face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is > so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. > He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so > he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t > know if I could handle that. > Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep > tonite. > Lindsey
Response:
Sandi.. Me to.. I have had this feeling of being wrapped in God’s warmth and love.. Nice to meet you <extending hand> names Pamela Your support was very good to her, I wish I had read it before I responded Pamela "sandi" <sandistreakNOsaS…@aol.com.invalid> wrote in message
news:302f79d3.d2898b8a@usw-ex0107-050.remarq.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I can remember a specific night in 1988 when I felt so much dispare I > cannot put the feelings into words. I prayed to God so I could sleep, > the feelings were more than I could bear…something happened…it was > as though God reached down from heaven and wrapped his loving arms > around me, and provided a compassion that brought me comfort so > profound I fell into a deep sleep and rested. I will never forget that > experience. When I’m psychologically and emotionally drained I pray for > God to comfort me like he did that night once again. > I have a legal background and know how terrifying and mindbending > miscarriages of justice can be. However, as little of a consolation as > it may sound, now as you read this…your brother may use his time > productively while incarcerated and have a positive life altering > experience. Inspite of how negitive the experience appears. > I hope my experience helps comfort you a little. (I lost my baby twin > infants in a terrible miscarriage of justice, to a wealthy couple > forever.) > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
I’m sorry to hear about your brother. Whether or not he deserved it matters not to me but rather the hurt you’re feeling. I’ve been there many times with family and friends and it’s not pretty. I would suggest that what you could do for him to make life easier would be to write as much as possible. It does help. Visitations are good but I’ve found that too many can be stressful on the individual when you leave. Regardless of why he’s there it would be good for him to invest time in some sort of course and/or spend as much time at the library as possible. If nothing else it will show he’s trying and may help him get out earlier. Good luck, hope this finds you (and he) doing ok. Hugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lindsey wrote: > Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got > sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking > that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell > in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little > too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, > almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was > being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his > face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is > so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. > He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so > he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t > know if I could handle that. > Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep > tonite. > Lindsey
Response:
Robert Maas (r…@shell.netmagic.net) writes: > <<All I can think of is that he is so upset that he might do something > dramatic and I will never see him again.>> > How often are you allowed to visit him? I would suggest visiting him a > lot, letting him know you still care about him, so he’ll have a reason > to live.
Hi, I know this might sound cold, where I yet do wish you and your brother well and do reiterate the wishes offered to you by otherasl-ers. I just wanted to add, and here is the risk of sounding cold, that maybe positive thoughts coudl be used to think of what he might find in jail: time to think of what went wrong and never be had again; of how to not be had ever again in that way; maybe in that year (where I do agree (and hope) that time will probably be reduced to 2-4 months max), maybe, even, in thattime, could your brother have occasiosn to also deal with his depression issue and find counselling where maybe out of jail that was easier to be left unseen and undealt with, to cheat the pain and run away from it instead of facing it and taking the measures to make his health and spirits be better… In other words, what I am tryign to say is that maybe this experience, as scary with all the horror stories we hear of jail as it can be, maybe this will also have its counterpart in your brother’s case, where maybe those months will allow him to have a fuller life from then on, not fallign into the same circle of depression and beign used by others as would maybe have gone on forever had events not come to put a stop to it in their own way… Perhaps you coudl have your brother post in here and feel he is not alone, not rejected, is cared about and wished well? Maybe then your own fears about his depressive state coudl be eased that way, as little as it may sound, in his beign offered a presence at any time day or night, since there often is someone online here in the late hours even…. I know my words are a poor consolation given the sad events, and his state of mind and your worries, too, but perhaps helping him see a way to look for the light not only at the end ofthe tunnel but even showing him light while inside the "tunnel" could make it less heavy and depressing for him? Wish I found better words in this sleep pattern of mine beign everywhere after a job of rotating shifts this week (worked 16 hours of split shoft yesterday, up to 8 A.M. this morning, somyconcentration si not very goo, but my ehart neans well and goesto you and him… Huge hug to your brother, for hwo hemust feel right now……. … And a huge hug to you so that you cna bring him smilesand hope and light and find to bestsupport him by hopefully finding the sdupport you need yourself to doso, in this ng… Best to him and to you, Chloe —
Response:
*HUGS* life isn’t fair and trust can get us in big trouble… keep in touch with him – get him to write letters (beg if he won’t) and even if he doesn’t respond, send lots of letters and visit if you can and hopefully the year will will pass (and maybe he’ll get parole in a few months)… you’ve got the freedom so try to find the strength and ways to stay optimistic somehow… and remember, it’s not forever… you’re worth is value – hope you find that helping your brother through it helps you feel good about what you can do too honest love, ric "remember when the music brought the night across the valley as the day went down and as we’d hum the melody, we’d be safe inside the sound, and so we’d sleep, we had dreams to keep…" ~ Harry Chapin ~ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lindsey wrote in message … >Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got >sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking >that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell >in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little >too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, >almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was >being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his >face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is >so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. >He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so >he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t >know if I could handle that. >Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep >tonite. >Lindsey
Response:
After I suggested she visit him in jail lots of times so he continues to feel a reason to go on living, Eleonore Beaudoin responded (as a followup to mine): <<maybe positive thoughts coudl be used to think of what he might find in jail: time to think of what went wrong and never be had again; of how to not be had ever again in that way; maybe in that year>> I agree. But keep in mind that if she visits him for one hour twice a week, that’s only 2 hours of reason to live compared to 24*7-2=166 hours of lying around contemplating what he did and and sometimes feeling suicidal. Accordingly those visits are very important! You need to make sure he really does know you care about him and will be his friend when he gets out, and you can slip in that you trust he won’t do such a stupid thing ever again. Use the word trust rather than expect or demand, so he knows you believe in his ability to learn from his mistake. What does anybody else think of my advice here? I’m very insecure, hardly ever get ’strokes’ to tell me that anything I do or say is of any value to anyone else. The woman who sent me 657 e-mail since Apr.04 has been sweet about letting me know when I say something wise or loving etc., but I wish somebody else besides Cliff would give me a few strokes too, because I’m going through a crisis the past few days as the most wonderful woman in the world is afraid to meet me and I don’t know if we’ll ever meet and after the buzz of her e-mail wears off I’ll have no reason myself to go on living without her in RL.
Response:
Hi Lindsey : I’ve read your post and I knew I had to write… Maybe If I tell U a (small but nevertheless significant) part of my "story" I can contribute for U to feel (a little…) better… 3 years ago was diagnosed a cancer on my father… Somehow I’ve managed alone (with the support of my girlfriend) to maintain an environment for him and for my mother less painfull as possible… Meanwhile, when I was in between sessions of chemeotherapy with him "I’ve managed" to get for myself my own cancer !!! That’s right, it was diagnosed a thyrhoid cancer on me. I’ve had 3 sucessive operations (along with the necessary treatments) just to free myself from this… Meanwhile 2 weeks after the first operation, my father dies… Where does it leave me ? Pain, suffering, grief… U name it… No one to care, besides my girlfriend, and my old mother to take care and to keep an eye on… What I’m trying to say is that you’re alive, your brother is alive and even if you’re having now difficult times, If U got health and if you’ve got each other, there’s nothing U can’t leave behind… However U will play an important part on this… Lots of caring and attention is what your brother is expecting from U… U must do your part… Hope that it helps… Take care (U and your brother)… FV Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t know if I could handle that. Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep tonite. Lindsey
Response:
Lindsey, I am sorry to see you here once again with such sadness, and such worry, in your heart… to be separated from those we care for is hard, even under the best of circumstances, but I truly cannot imagine the grief you are feeling, over this kind of separation… Naturally, I do not know the situation, and the details really aren’t important, but perhaps you will be able to see your brother, and help him to get through this time in his life, and in turn, that may help you to deal with it, as best as you can… Obviously, once again I didn’t know what to say to you, to possibly offer you some comfort in this heartbreaking time for you, and your family… but I wanted you to know that I do send my prayers, and my compassion for this, that is hurting you so… and to offer a shoulder for you to cry upon, should you need it… I am so sorry, Lindsey… I do hope you can get some rest, and some peace of mind about this sad situation… again, I send my prayers, and I wish you well… warm, comforting hugs, Michael In article <qjTJ4.137180$Dv1.1488…@news1.rdc1.bc.home.com>, "Lindsey" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<moovell…@home.com> wrote: >Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got >sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking >that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell >in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little >too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, >almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was >being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his >face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is >so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. >He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so >he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t >know if I could handle that. >Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep >tonite. >Lindsey
Response:
I can remember a specific night in 1988 when I felt so much dispare I cannot put the feelings into words. I prayed to God so I could sleep, the feelings were more than I could bear…something happened…it was as though God reached down from heaven and wrapped his loving arms around me, and provided a compassion that brought me comfort so profound I fell into a deep sleep and rested. I will never forget that experience. When I’m psychologically and emotionally drained I pray for God to comfort me like he did that night once again. I have a legal background and know how terrifying and mindbending miscarriages of justice can be. However, as little of a consolation as it may sound, now as you read this…your brother may use his time productively while incarcerated and have a positive life altering experience. Inspite of how negitive the experience appears. I hope my experience helps comfort you a little. (I lost my baby twin infants in a terrible miscarriage of justice, to a wealthy couple forever.) * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
<<All I can think of is that he is so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again.>> How often are you allowed to visit him? I would suggest visiting him a lot, letting him know you still care about him, so he’ll have a reason to live.
Response:
It will be hard but visit as much as possible. It will keep his spirits up. Depending on the laws of your state he will most likely be out in three to four months. Get him to use the time wisely, get a correspondence course, keep busy. The worst thing for him will be the boredom. Sorry wish I could be more help Bill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lindsey wrote: > Well, here’s another installment of my so called life. Today my brother got > sentenced to a year in prison. I know that alot of you are probably thinking > that he probably deserved it if he was found guilty,but he didn’t. He fell > in love with the wrong girl who fucked him over. I know this may be a little > too dramatic but I feel like part of my heart is gone. We were very close, > almost like best friends, so when he had to go I felt like my heart was > being ripped out. It was even harder when I saw the tears streaming down his > face as he came to give me a hug goodbye. All I can think of is that he is > so upset that he might do something dramatic and I will never see him again. > He is very much like me and suffers from loneliness and depression alot, so > he might serioulsy consider something final. God, I hope he doesn’t, I don’t > know if I could handle that. > Well, I just wanted to get this off my chest so that maybe I can sleep > tonite. > Lindsey
– http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Depression
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