THAT GIRL
Question:
T Pitman wrote: > What if you said to your "sort of" friend who knows this girl "Gee, she > seems like a nice girl. What’s she like?" Not saying "I’m in love, get me a > date with her" but just expressing some casual interest in knowing more > about her. He might be able to tell you a little more about her, might even > suggest introducing you.
You know, that does sound like quite a good idea. I don’t think he knows her well though, probably just from being in the bar/local nightclub. We have a sort of ‘community’ at our college (there’s 500 students in total, and 10 000 from all the other colleges), and I suppose your average student will know around 20% of everyone. Unfortunately, I would struggle to name 20+ people, and I’m only really on speaking terms with 10. I’m stuck in a rut. > And you can go to social events without friends. Really, you can. In fact, > it’s a very good way to make friends.
I’m not so sure. The local nightclub is free to students on monday’s, and lots of people go. If I were to turn up, I’d look silly on my own. After some alcohol, sure I’d be able to talk to strangers, but I doubt I’d see them again, and it’s hardly likely to be intelligent conversation. Thanks for the advice..keep it coming! :-) Anon
Response:
plasmicfl…@webtv.net wrote: > Anon > wow, you must really care about this > girl alot if you say you’de be better off > dead.
Have you ever had the feeling you have found your ‘dream girl’. It’s as simple as that. Still no sign of her in college, but I have a pretty good idea what her name is – It is definately either Helen or Jennifer, more likely the latter. > Did you know that the majority > of men have never had one bestfriend > in their life? Don’t feel alone, i totally > relate because when i moved to colorado > 24 years ago, my best friend was no longer > with me to help me out in these situations. > It is not as bad as you think. You will be ok. > Jeff
My best friend (from 1985-95) moved away recently. He’d been going to a different college and made other friends. I probably won’t see him for a long long time. He was never as studious as me and that’s why he lost interest. I wish I could be as optimistic as you. Anon
Response:
Anon wow, you must really care about this girl alot if you say you’de be better off dead. Did you know that the majority of men have never had one bestfriend in their life? Don’t feel alone, i totally relate because when i moved to colorado 24 years ago, my best friend was no longer with me to help me out in these situations. It is not as bad as you think. You will be ok. Jeff
Response:
Anon wrote, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Great, just when I needed cheering up. I just this very minute saw > ‘that girl’ heading off to the bar. I’ve got lots of exam revision > otherwise I may have followed them in and sat with my aquaintances. > Or maybe I’m just making excuses. > I might have to put off making any moves until my exams are over. > They hassle of trying to get near this girl is getting on my nerves. > Here’s a good question. How can I go from being quiet, to suddenly > being really chatty and outgoing? It’s just when ever I go to the > bar, I don’t know anyone and can’t join in the conversations. I end > up looking a fool on my own, while others are sitting around a table > laughing etc… > How can I make the transistion? Do you think I should follow my > aquaintances (Stand next to them etc..) and try to make ’small talk’ > between their speech? I’ve tried this before, and end up being > ignored. My voice is quite soft, and some people ask me to repeat > what I say (that is so annoying). > Anon
I forgot to mention. I’m concerned about the ‘following my aquaintances’ bit. There’s this guy, who I do not like because he puts me down. When in fact I’ve heard my aquaintances say they dislike him. Anyway, he follows them around, and it really is a joke. He skips after them like a puppy running to its mother! He’s so blatantly obvious. The aquaintances say: "Here comes *****, looking for someone to ‘Shadow’". I don’t want them to say that about me too. I know if I do try this I’ll find it very difficult to speak up in a crowd. Might have to ‘down’ several beers before hand. Anon
Response:
Hi "sheena" <she…@metronet.de> and all silent listeners on alt.support.loneliness ! On Thu, 4 Jun 1998 09:24:18 +0200, You wrote: >Dear Lady J, I did in fact answer to your kind letter. Mine is – I think – >under >*thank you* by Rosie, I didnt know somebody already had this title:) >I come originaly from the States but we ve been living in europe a long >time now. I ll be doing some homework now, I ve closed down the shutters >so I dont have to see what a wonderfull weather we have for a change.
Hi sheena … so what about your knowledge of German language now ? And, please, don’t miss the spring … sunlight is at least as helpful against depression as some herbs 
! >What are *.sig* files? What is spam?
Signature file: Look at mine … some text file you can point your email program to … it will be appended to every message you send out. Spam: Useless advertising in newsgroups or email … "spammers" often get their address lists by scanning through all available newsgroups with … thus the approaches to hide, or modify, the email address … easy to reestablish for humans, not as easy for robots. Good Luck, Walter ————— All life is chemistry, and thoughts are the catalysts ICQ #4918962 —————————— Due to excessive amounts of UCE, I had to edit my email address. Apologize the inconvenience. Please remove the obvious to reply, thanks.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jester(aka Wayne) wrote: > Remember me?, I used to be Wayne, but since he hasn’t turned this computer > on in over a month, Jester has taken over. Everyone remain calm and keep > your hands where I can see them…. > Anon > You have a hard choice to make. I don’t mean to get you down, quite the > opposite but you probable will never go anywhere with this girl. > Now that I have your attention, and Lady J is about to rip out my spleen > through my left ear for being so inconsiderate, let me ’splain Lucy… > First there is the math. You have not dated in the past (at least that is > what I gathered from your previouys posts) and if you do go out with her > the chances of her being "the one" are slim. Second there is the chance > she won’t go out with you through no fault of your own. You could be her > perfect soul mate, but she just had a tooth pulled and is in a foul mood. > Or maybe she doesn’t like the zip code you live in, whatever. > But if you don’t even try you will NEVER FIND ANYONE. You cannot go out to > dinner with a "might have been". A "should have" never hogged the covers. > You can’t make love to a "I wish I’d…". So talk to her, make nice, ask > her out. Even if she laughs in your face you will have overcome the > biggest hurdle of turning a "Why didn’t I.." into a real woman in your > arms. > And believe me, no cold comfort of your excuses beats a warm body curled up > next to you at night. And NOTHING beats holding a women you love as much > as yourself after making love. > I don’t mean to be cruel Lady J I don’t really. But what he is doing is > exactly what I did. There was a girl in my freshman chem course I would > have walked over broken glass into a pool of alcohol for, but would never > in a million years would have walked over and talked to. It took way to > d^mn long (how come I can spell all the curse words, but can’t spell > baeuty(?) without looking it up?) to break that, and I still have problems > with being shy even though all the women I’ve ever know at work, school, > life, etc. have tought I was a really great guy. > Was that too harsh? > Life sucks kids, you have to deal with it sometime, why not now? > — > visit me @ > http://members.aol.com/gstratto/index.html > maybe you’ll actually enjoy my sick sense of > humor.
No, Jester, I don’t think it was harsh. I think you did an excellent job of explaining. In fact, I’m taking some of that to heart myself. <smile> There are lots of times, that I’m real gentle and don’t get anywhere at all. <laugh> That’s when someone like you comes along and does the "tell it like it is" thing. I hope Anon appreciates the time and effort you put into your response. I know I do. Don’t worry about your spelling, it’s the content that’s important. : ) J P.S You didn’t have to scare me with that second sentence!! — "Rivers belong where they can ramble Eagles belong where they can fly I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free Gotta find my corner of the sky."
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Anon wrote: > Great, just when I needed cheering up. I just this very minute saw > ‘that girl’ heading off to the bar. I’ve got lots of exam revision > otherwise I may have followed them in and sat with my aquaintances. > Or maybe I’m just making excuses. > I might have to put off making any moves until my exams are over. > They hassle of trying to get near this girl is getting on my nerves. > Here’s a good question. How can I go from being quiet, to suddenly > being really chatty and outgoing? It’s just when ever I go to the > bar, I don’t know anyone and can’t join in the conversations. I end > up looking a fool on my own, while others are sitting around a table > laughing etc… > How can I make the transistion? Do you think I should follow my > aquaintances (Stand next to them etc..) and try to make ’small talk’ > between their speech? I’ve tried this before, and end up being > ignored. My voice is quite soft, and some people ask me to repeat > what I say (that is so annoying). > Anon
I truly don’t think Jester was trying to discourage you. He was telling you to "go for it". You aren’t going to make the "transistion" over night if at all. You may never be truly chatty and outgoing. But, I think what Jester was trying to speak to is that everytime we give you a suggestion or even if you think up one yourself, you also think up a reason why you can’t. You keep thinking that way and you never will try anything. You don’t just *try* and fail and stop. You try and learn what you might not have done right or enough of and you try again. And if you fail again, you learn from that failure and you try again. You try until you win because if you don’t keep trying, you have no chance of winning! : ) J — "Rivers belong where they can ramble Eagles belong where they can fly I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free Gotta find my corner of the sky."
Response:
Dear Lady J, I did in fact answer to your kind letter. Mine is – I think – under *thank you* by Rosie, I didnt know somebody already had this title:) I come originaly from the States but we ve been living in europe a long time now. I ll be doing some homework now, I ve closed down the shutters so I dont have to see what a wonderfull weather we have for a change. What are *.sig* files? What is spam?
Response:
My dear Anon, if you d ve told me a year ago how many people I d be meeting this year and that my class would actually KNOW that I m thereI d have told you *Anon honey dear, you re nuts*. But, it DID happen. It didnt relieve my essential lonelyness or help me with my problems and I know that after the exams it will be over and I will have to make new aquentances, but it sure made going to school a whole lot morebearable. What I m trying to say is that very often in problems like these you just have to leave it alone. Especially in the first year. I ll make a bet with you * I know the English – that s right isnt it – like bets* : If doesnt get better next year and with you using all that good advise you ve got I solemnly promise to see *Scream II* FIVE times. The worst film ever:) but if does you ll have to send me a box full of those mmmmm, tasty, geil salt-and-vinegar sticks you guys have there. German junk food is waaay to healthy for me here. Now, good luck with your exams and you know what? Your girl sounds like a caring person. PS. Read some girls magazines, what you got there, Miss Seventeen? Dont start blushing now. READ it *secretely*. At the very worst you ll get a good laugh, at the very best you ll get a clue 
PS II. I m trying to *come to grips* with this computer thing so please forgive any problems
Response:
sheena wrote: > Dear Lady J, I did in fact answer to your kind letter. Mine is – I think – > under > *thank you* by Rosie, I didnt know somebody already had this title:) > I come originaly from the States but we ve been living in europe a long > time now. I ll be doing some homework now, I ve closed down the shutters > so I dont have to see what a wonderfull weather we have for a change. > What are *.sig* files? What is spam?
Then you can try to see if the U.S. embassy can help you. As long as you still have your citizenship, that is. A sig file is a file that you make and write something in that you want to come out every time you mail or post something. Like the lyrics I have that appear after my post. (Someone could explain this better) I’m not real good at computer stuff. "Spam" is unwanted advertising. It’s the stuff that some people see here and in their mailboxes. I don’t see it here. I just get "Error" or "Illegal" message notes when it’s here. I’ve pretty much got it blocked out. I don’t get it in my mailbox, either. I have "key words" that prevent me from getting things I don’t wish to be bothered with. Don’t ask me how, ’cause I had it done for me, I didn’t do it. Someone might be able to give you a clearer explanation of this all. I’m not real good at it. Good luck on your school work. Some things in our lives, we don’t have a whole lot of control over, but our school work isn’t one of them. We study hard enough and work hard enough and we can do well at it. I’m glad to see that you are. Hugs, J — "Rivers belong where they can ramble Eagles belong where they can fly I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free Gotta find my corner of the sky."
Response:
Remember me?, I used to be Wayne, but since he hasn’t turned this computer on in over a month, Jester has taken over. Everyone remain calm and keep your hands where I can see them…. Anon You have a hard choice to make. I don’t mean to get you down, quite the opposite but you probable will never go anywhere with this girl. Now that I have your attention, and Lady J is about to rip out my spleen through my left ear for being so inconsiderate, let me ’splain Lucy… First there is the math. You have not dated in the past (at least that is what I gathered from your previouys posts) and if you do go out with her the chances of her being "the one" are slim. Second there is the chance she won’t go out with you through no fault of your own. You could be her perfect soul mate, but she just had a tooth pulled and is in a foul mood. Or maybe she doesn’t like the zip code you live in, whatever. But if you don’t even try you will NEVER FIND ANYONE. You cannot go out to dinner with a "might have been". A "should have" never hogged the covers. You can’t make love to a "I wish I’d…". So talk to her, make nice, ask her out. Even if she laughs in your face you will have overcome the biggest hurdle of turning a "Why didn’t I.." into a real woman in your arms. And believe me, no cold comfort of your excuses beats a warm body curled up next to you at night. And NOTHING beats holding a women you love as much as yourself after making love. I don’t mean to be cruel Lady J I don’t really. But what he is doing is exactly what I did. There was a girl in my freshman chem course I would have walked over broken glass into a pool of alcohol for, but would never in a million years would have walked over and talked to. It took way to d^mn long (how come I can spell all the curse words, but can’t spell baeuty(?) without looking it up?) to break that, and I still have problems with being shy even though all the women I’ve ever know at work, school, life, etc. have tought I was a really great guy. Was that too harsh? Life sucks kids, you have to deal with it sometime, why not now? — visit me @ http://members.aol.com/gstratto/index.html maybe you’ll actually enjoy my sick sense of humor.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jester(aka Wayne) wrote: > Anon > You have a hard choice to make. I don’t mean to get you down, quite the > opposite but you probable will never go anywhere with this girl. > Now that I have your attention, and Lady J is about to rip out my spleen > through my left ear for being so inconsiderate, let me ’splain Lucy… > First there is the math. You have not dated in the past (at least that is > what I gathered from your previouys posts) and if you do go out with her > the chances of her being "the one" are slim. Second there is the chance > she won’t go out with you through no fault of your own. You could be her > perfect soul mate, but she just had a tooth pulled and is in a foul mood. > Or maybe she doesn’t like the zip code you live in, whatever. > But if you don’t even try you will NEVER FIND ANYONE. You cannot go out to > dinner with a "might have been". A "should have" never hogged the covers. > You can’t make love to a "I wish I’d…". So talk to her, make nice, ask > her out. Even if she laughs in your face you will have overcome the > biggest hurdle of turning a "Why didn’t I.." into a real woman in your > arms.
Great, just when I needed cheering up. I just this very minute saw ‘that girl’ heading off to the bar. I’ve got lots of exam revision otherwise I may have followed them in and sat with my aquaintances. Or maybe I’m just making excuses. I might have to put off making any moves until my exams are over. They hassle of trying to get near this girl is getting on my nerves. Here’s a good question. How can I go from being quiet, to suddenly being really chatty and outgoing? It’s just when ever I go to the bar, I don’t know anyone and can’t join in the conversations. I end up looking a fool on my own, while others are sitting around a table laughing etc… How can I make the transistion? Do you think I should follow my aquaintances (Stand next to them etc..) and try to make ’small talk’ between their speech? I’ve tried this before, and end up being ignored. My voice is quite soft, and some people ask me to repeat what I say (that is so annoying). Anon
Response:
Hi everyone, We’ve just had a room ballot for our College and I saw that girl I really like. I’m feeling really depressed because she has a fair amount of confidence – confident girls just don’t like shy guys do they??? That’s my opinion anyway. I’m so desperate to speak to her but I just can’t do it when she’s in a crowd. One of my ‘half’ friends know’s her but I’m not sure if I should confide in him Or perhaps I should and he might help. He’s got a huge amount of s.confidence and would probably think it were a joke – me trying to get a date. Or even worse, tell everyone. On the plus side, she hangs around with the Physics/Chemistry geeks (well, there not that bad really). So I could be in with a chance of friendship if nothing else, although I’m definately not a geek. However, I keep coming back to the same problem: I HAVE NO FRIENDS. Without friends I can’t go to social gatherings (Where she might be), and therefore won’t meet her. I’d be better off dead at present. Anon
Response:
What if you said to your "sort of" friend who knows this girl "Gee, she seems like a nice girl. What’s she like?" Not saying "I’m in love, get me a date with her" but just expressing some casual interest in knowing more about her. He might be able to tell you a little more about her, might even suggest introducing you. And you can go to social events without friends. Really, you can. In fact, it’s a very good way to make friends. Teresa
Response:
Dear Anon, take it from a girl around your age who used to have a life, you have alot of things going for you. First of all, whoever told you confident girls don
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