Lonely Loneliness

blessings from above

Question:

When I was walking into town this morning, as I passed under a tree a huge load of black excrement landed on my head, some splashing down onto my white skirt and blouse. "Oh yuk!!!  What *was* that?"  I exclaimed, looking up into the leafy branches to try and spot the culprit.   A couple coming the other way stopped to commiserate.  "I think it was a bird", the woman offered helpfully.  Hmm… despite the volume and colour, I hadn’t really thought it might be an elephant up there, surprisingly.  "There’s some on your …" she gestured at my right boob, where I now had a big black nipple. I grinned.  "Think I’d better go home and change." They smiled back apologetically, clearly wanting to help but recognising there was little they could do.  On the way home again I met one of my neighbours going the other way.  We swapped greetings in passing, and I watched with amusement as her eyes were drawn magnetically to my chest but old-fashioned courtesy kept her from comment — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: h…@asarian-host.net — for all info about our server. If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi

Response:

pegasus wrote: > When I was walking into town this morning, as I passed under a tree a huge > load of black excrement landed on my head, some splashing down onto my white > skirt and blouse. "Oh yuk!!!  What *was* that?"  I exclaimed, looking up > into the leafy branches to try and spot the culprit.   A couple coming the > other way stopped to commiserate.  "I think it was a bird", the woman > offered helpfully.  Hmm… despite the volume and colour, I hadn’t really > thought it might be an elephant up there, surprisingly.  "There’s some on > your …" she gestured at my right boob, where I now had a big black nipple. > I grinned.  "Think I’d better go home and change." They smiled back > apologetically, clearly wanting to help but recognising there was little > they could do.  On the way home again I met one of my neighbours going the > other way.  We swapped greetings in passing, and I watched with amusement as > her eyes were drawn magnetically to my chest but old-fashioned courtesy kept > her from comment

I had a very coarse remark to put in here but it’s way too coarse for ASL. Watch out, it’s blackberry season that stuff will stain!

Response:

Black bird excrement? Interesting. So far I have had only white one. I could take you have removed it in the meantime. Some side effect of bird excrement: Lots of plants in my garden from seeds contained in birdshit have grown in the most impossible places. E.g. a vine amidst my rose bushes. Sumi

Response:

"sumire" <sumire_kawab…@nospam.yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message

news:24820d1120d3fe6da12aab9db852cc82@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com… > Black bird excrement? Interesting. > So far I have had only white one. > I could take you have removed it > in the meantime. > Some side effect of bird excrement: > Lots of plants in my garden > from seeds contained in birdshit > have grown in the most impossible > places. E.g. a vine amidst my rose bushes. > Sumi

Hi Sumi I was very surprised that it did wash out.  As Thursday intimated, the colour of birdpoop is affected by diet. So this vine in your garden – does it grow decent grapes?  Do you make your own wine?  I tried once or twice with the grapes from the vine here, but it was way too dry for my taste. — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: h…@asarian-host.net — for all info about our server. If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -pegasus wrote: > "sumire" <sumire_kawab…@nospam.yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message > news:24820d1120d3fe6da12aab9db852cc82@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com… >>Black bird excrement? Interesting. >>So far I have had only white one. >>I could take you have removed it >>in the meantime. >>Some side effect of bird excrement: >>Lots of plants in my garden >>from seeds contained in birdshit >>have grown in the most impossible >>places. E.g. a vine amidst my rose bushes. >>Sumi > Hi Sumi > I was very surprised that it did wash out.  As Thursday intimated, the > colour of birdpoop is affected by diet. > So this vine in your garden – does it grow decent grapes?  Do you make your > own wine?  I tried once or twice with the grapes from the vine here, but it > was way too dry for my taste.

Hang on. Are you saying you’ve got a vine? And Sumire’s got a vine? Hey! I’ve got a vine too! That’s so weird all three of us unconnected people having a vine. Does anyone else in ASL have a vine? Is this an ASL thing or just a lonely woman thing? I thought lonely women had cats. We made some wine from our vine it tastes divine. Well it doesn’ atchly it tastes really sweet like port but if you like port a bit it could be considered divine. "Rubbish" doesn’t rhyme with wine of vine.

Response:

poet wrote: > X-No-Archive: yes > i have a vine from which grow cats.

I’d like to see that. post link! I used to get my pussy willows and catkins mixed up, and thereby was laughed at by my fellow classmates. Children can be so cruel.

Response:

280805 wrote: > poet wrote: >> X-No-Archive: yes >> i have a vine from which grow cats. > I’d like to see that. post link! > I used to get my pussy willows and catkins mixed up, and thereby was > laughed at by my fellow classmates. Children can be so cruel.

You see I’m still doing it now. I meant lamb’s tails and catkins… oh the derision… I can hardly see for the tears of shame.

Response:

"280805" <my_invisible_fri…@excite.com> wrote in message

news:TyfQe.2154$h4.1082@newsfe4-win.ntli.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> pegasus wrote: > > "sumire" <sumire_kawab…@nospam.yahoo.co.uk> wrote in message > > news:24820d1120d3fe6da12aab9db852cc82@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com… > >>Black bird excrement? Interesting. > >>So far I have had only white one. > >>I could take you have removed it > >>in the meantime. > >>Some side effect of bird excrement: > >>Lots of plants in my garden > >>from seeds contained in birdshit > >>have grown in the most impossible > >>places. E.g. a vine amidst my rose bushes. > >>Sumi > > Hi Sumi > > I was very surprised that it did wash out.  As Thursday intimated, the > > colour of birdpoop is affected by diet. > > So this vine in your garden – does it grow decent grapes?  Do you make your > > own wine?  I tried once or twice with the grapes from the vine here, but it > > was way too dry for my taste. > Hang on. Are you saying you’ve got a vine? And Sumire’s got > a vine? Hey! I’ve got a vine too! That’s so weird all three > of us unconnected people having a vine. Does anyone else in > ASL have a vine? Is this an ASL thing or just a lonely woman > thing? I thought lonely women had cats.

In a recent survey, 100% of vine owners were lonely women. Does this warrant a new Government Health Warning? Perhaps there’s an underlying causal relationship [as opposed to a casual one.  Sumi doesn't do casual ] I’ll tell you another thing we have in common, you and me, Ms Fair o’Face: recycling!  I notice that the description for alt.support.loneliness on google groups is ‘It’s not easy being green’. I don’t have a cat by the way.  I do look after other people’s occasionally. — For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: h…@asarian-host.net — for all info about our server. If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi

Response:

>>>Hi Sumi >>>I was very surprised that it did wash out.  As Thursday intimated, the >>>colour of birdpoop is affected by diet. >>>So this vine in your garden – does it grow decent grapes?  Do you make > your >>>own wine?  I tried once or twice with the grapes from the vine here, but > it >>>was way too dry for my taste.

You know, as your wine is too dry and my wine is too sweet, perhaps a mix would work. My grapes are red an’ we make red wine. Although, this year I think we won’t bother. I’ve still got loads of elderflower lemonade to get rid of. I don’t know why but, instead of going lemonadey it went like a kind of elderflower syrup, it has a rather nasty stringy quality that won’t mix with other fluids like water. It’s a bit weird… the dynamics of it. Still. Musntgrumbl, it’s better than *not * having it I guess. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->>Hang on. Are you saying you’ve got a vine? And Sumire’s got >>a vine? Hey! I’ve got a vine too! That’s so weird all three >>of us unconnected people having a vine. Does anyone else in >>ASL have a vine? Is this an ASL thing or just a lonely woman >>thing? I thought lonely women had cats. > In a recent survey, 100% of vine owners were lonely women. > Does this warrant a new Government Health Warning? > Perhaps there’s an underlying causal relationship [as opposed to a casual > one.  Sumi doesn't do casual ] > I’ll tell you another thing we have in common, you and me, Ms Fair o’Face: > recycling!  I notice that the description for alt.support.loneliness on > google groups is ‘It’s not easy being green’.

LOL! Ain’ that the truth? I’m still trying to understand why the local council has an aversion to plastic recycling. However all is not lost because when I contacted Tesco to complain [as is my wont] I received their assurance that all the plastic they use in all their packaging is biodegradeable, even the nets on the oranges and nectarines. And they always try to haul back all freight packaging in haulage so that that gets reused or recycled. So, if one is to believe what Tesco tells one, which I don’t but what choice do I have? They’re doing their bit for the environment. Speaking of which, do you know if the US has coped with Katrina? > I don’t have a cat by the way.  I do look after other people’s occasionally.

Would you have one if you could?

Response:

I had not, until this day, correctly guessed your sex, madam. If any personal insult was addressed to your personage by this…assault of…unexpected effluvia, why, damn the fellow, or agency responsible, I vow, ’twill be pistols at dawn! OTS "pegasus" <pega…@asarian-host.net> wrote in message

news:1191bacd.2f003ebc1ef575416ca4b8462@asarian-host.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> When I was walking into town this morning, as I passed under a tree a huge > load of black excrement landed on my head, some splashing down onto my white > skirt and blouse. "Oh yuk!!!  What *was* that?"  I exclaimed, looking up > into the leafy branches to try and spot the culprit.   A couple coming the > other way stopped to commiserate.  "I think it was a bird", the woman > offered helpfully.  Hmm… despite the volume and colour, I hadn’t really > thought it might be an elephant up there, surprisingly.  "There’s some on > your …" she gestured at my right boob, where I now had a big black nipple. > I grinned.  "Think I’d better go home and change." They smiled back > apologetically, clearly wanting to help but recognising there was little > they could do.  On the way home again I met one of my neighbours going the > other way.  We swapped greetings in passing, and I watched with amusement as > her eyes were drawn magnetically to my chest but old-fashioned courtesy kept > her from comment > — > For more information about this NNTP posting service, contact: > h…@asarian-host.net — for all info about our server. > If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: > https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi

Response:

Madam, I vow that insult will also be… How many ladies have been so afflicted in this thread? It may take some considerable time to right the wrongs that have been done, to restore honour & c. OTS "poet" <p…@asarian-host.net> wrote in message

news:08fead1d34204fe.7a4a4e4e4fd25607b9@asarian-host.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> X-No-Archive: yes > In article 1191bacd.2f003ebc1ef575416ca4b8…@asarian-host.net, pegasus at > pega…@asarian-host.net wrote on 8/25/05 8:10: > > When I was walking into town this morning, as I passed under a tree a huge > > load of black excrement landed on my head, some splashing down onto my > > white skirt and blouse. "Oh yuk!!! What *was* that?" I exclaimed, looking > > up into the leafy branches to try and spot the culprit. > when i was twelveish, i was enjoying a fine summer evening in the yard with > the parents and a neighbour. suddenly, i felt a splat on my head. i reached > up, and my hand came away from my hair covered in white goop. no one > noticed, and they all look surprised when i got up and announced, ‘hmmm, > well, i think it’s time for a shower.’ i’d never shown that much interest in > cleanliness during daylight hours before. > — > For more information about this posting service, contact: > h…@asarian-host.net — for all info about our server. > If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: > https://asarian-host.net/cgi-bin/signup.cgi

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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