Lonely Loneliness

Exile for love

Question:

vy…@loxinfo.co.th wrote: > Let me conclude before I begin, I married the wrong man.

That might be quite common…at least where i live in the la area…people complain about that alot… > There is love between us, yet I am lonely when I’m with > this man.

perhpas there is little or no emotional similarity and connection… He is kind  and considerate in the material sense > of the word, but it’s like a pretty box with grand paper > and startling ribbons, yet the box is emty.

maybe he is not growing…out of touch with his feelings…doesn’t know he needs to grow inorder to make your relationship more vibrant for both of you… > This man has no need to have an emotional relationship with > me.

that is sad…  This hurts, more than I can bear, and I am at a loss of > what to do,

well..you have at least acknowledge there is a problem…that is a first step…  since I love this man very much and thought I > could be with him till the end of time.

i think we can love people very much, even if there is little or no emotional connection…  Was I naive to > believe that this man would love me for more than my pretty > face, my ability to laugh and jest with his friends, his > family ?

we all make decisions in ignorance….going into any relationship is a risk with uncertain outcomes.."till death do you part" does not negate what can "really" happen in a marriage….there are no guarentees that things will work out… > Am I not made of pure spirit, a very emotional being, I am > a sensitive, too fragile for this cruel world, this cruel > world of material greed and obsession.

I can relate…do you consider yourself creative, artistic?  I live in the void of > my marriage, exiled by my love for this man.

that makes sense…what about friends…other people you can relate to…getting out enough? > There is no blame, no guilt, just infinite sadness and > regret that I hoped I could be loved for me.

lower your expectations so you won’t hurt as much. don’t expect him to give you what he is not able to give. accept him as he is and work from there and see what you have…see what you can build…otherwsie you may just fall apart through depressed and hopeless feelings… > I should end this, but I cannot, always rotating,spinning > madly,putting aside my own needs,shoving it down,down > deeper, wearing my happy face, pretending all is well. Yet > always my feelings surface at times when the loneliness > becomes to much to bear.

sounds like you are down too far…you do seem very creative though…i like your writing…it has a poetic quality…hence your pain…you are a sensitive person…you need a kindred spirit somewhere…someone who understands you…relates with your feelings…can love you by listening and acknowling your thoughts and feelings…someone similar to you… > The loneliness bubbles up from the deep into and out of my > first level of consciousness, suffocating me, making me wish > I could leave this world, making me wish I was a > blunt,callous,emotionaly void a being. The loneliness spills > from my mouth in the form of pleas, from my eyes the tears > run, salty like the sea, a reminder that life goes ever on.

so poetic…. > I have considered every direction from here, but will remain > put in the hope that this man will become wise with time,

don’t expect him to change…accept him and make the changes you need to make in your perception and life… > and when the glossy allure of the superficial world fades as > he will fade into old age, maybe then he will turn to the > emotional, the content of hearts and minds, there where the > metaphysical world begins, the well of consciousness, the > source of soul. > In the meantime my life plays before me, a sad opera, a > projection of feigned acceptance, a moment lived and > forfeited.

it doesn’t have to be that way…it will require work to change your perception….but it can be done…consider a therapist…going to support groups in your area…places where you can share your feelings safely… > I chose to be an exile in my marriage, I chose sadness and > longing, I question my sanity, but love has never been > sane…. > I cry to you, strangers, for empathy, bear with me > regards > Mono Log

i wish you the best…i think it is good you are reaching out…don’t give up…keep trying….keep reaching out… don

Response:

Let me conclude before I begin, I married the wrong man. There is love between us, yet I am lonely when I’m with this man. He is kind  and considerate in the material sense of the word, but it’s like a pretty box with grand paper and startling ribbons, yet the box is emty. This man has no need to have an emotional relationship with me. This hurts, more than I can bear, and I am at a loss of what to do, since I love this man very much and thought I could be with him till the end of time. Was I naive to believe that this man would love me for more than my pretty face, my ability to laugh and jest with his friends, his family ? Am I not made of pure spirit, a very emotional being, I am a sensitive, too fragile for this cruel world, this cruel world of material greed and obsession. I live in the void of my marriage, exiled by my love for this man. There is no blame, no guilt, just infinite sadness and regret that I hoped I could be loved for me. I should end this, but I cannot, always rotating,spinning madly,putting aside my own needs,shoving it down,down deeper, wearing my happy face, pretending all is well. Yet always my feelings surface at times when the loneliness becomes to much to bear. The loneliness bubbles up from the deep into and out of my first level of consciousness, suffocating me, making me wish I could leave this world, making me wish I was a blunt,callous,emotionaly void a being. The loneliness spills from my mouth in the form of pleas, from my eyes the tears run, salty like the sea, a reminder that life goes ever on. I have considered every direction from here, but will remain put in the hope that this man will become wise with time, and when the glossy allure of the superficial world fades as he will fade into old age, maybe then he will turn to the emotional, the content of hearts and minds, there where the metaphysical world begins, the well of consciousness, the source of soul. In the meantime my life plays before me, a sad opera, a projection of feigned acceptance, a moment lived and forfeited. I chose to be an exile in my marriage, I chose sadness and longing, I question my sanity, but love has never been sane…. I cry to you, strangers, for empathy, bear with me regards Mono Log

Response:

vy…@loxinfo.co.th wrote: >I chose to be an exile in my marriage, I chose sadness and >longing, I question my sanity, but love has never been >sane…. >I cry to you, strangers, for empathy, bear with me

Have you spoken to anyone about the way you feel? A close friend, a marriage counsellor?

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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