from the edge of the storm
Question:
well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
Response:
dear Veridian Pau i must say you caught my eye 
a photographer no less ! (spotted the ref to photo shoot with kitty ) reading your post i found myself wondering what lonelyness looked like through your vewfinder,is it grainy, is it colour or is it B+W? high contrast or low? maybe its pastel tones of blues and greys i thought of the OM4TI in my camera case and wondered what lonelyness would look like through my veiwfinder thoughts of deserted beaches a single swan on a pond a distant figure in a park bench? what would i chose to represent this. then i thought of the person behind the veiwfinder who is also alone,isolated behind the camera an obscure figure themselves, you are less alone than you may believe <gentle smile huggs from a bear of little brain Iain. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
Response:
*laughing a little litterally,it is verilittle who write:* hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye…and the thought that w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always. splorer helps me be seven and write. bye veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e
don’t know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too 
) sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little girls personality like no one ever had, it’s a DID thing i think to be able to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like 20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out. it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too. anyway… i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it never dreamed of doing with its wings. aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. ) trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is intruiging name. blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically* thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web? you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple photos on r website but the company not like it’s employee do that. w/e put on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe w/e put kitten pictute on soon. caring n stuff, Veris – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – dear Veridian Pau i must say you caught my eye a photographer no less ! (spotted the ref to photo shoot with kitty ) reading your post i found myself wondering what lonelyness looked like through your vewfinder,is it grainy, is it colour or is it B+W? high contrast or low? maybe its pastel tones of blues and greys i thought of the OM4TI in my camera case and wondered what lonelyness would look like through my veiwfinder thoughts of deserted beaches a single swan on a pond a distant figure in a park bench? what would i chose to represent this. then i thought of the person behind the veiwfinder who is also alone,isolated behind the camera an obscure figure themselves, you are less alone than you may believe <gentle smile huggs from a bear of little brain Iain. well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
Response:
*throws rope* Hold on. I’ve got ya. *pulls little veri into arms* You’re safe here. No one can hurt you now. It’s ok to cry. Let it out. That’s it. Little one, can you tell me what’s wrong? what scared you? I’m here for you. Mary, for dyenths ps: <fwiw, Mary’s been bein *weird* today! don’t know what’s up with that. if nothing else, we offer comfort and support, if it helps. just ignore mary’s rambles (she’s our inside m0m) if they make no sense to you.
net… well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a
lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone,
there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur
alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the
hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed
overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am
terrified, i am so so – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
Response:
*laughing a little litterally,it is verilittle who write:*
hihi /me waves to verilittle hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye…and the thought that w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always. splorer helps me be seven and write. bye
i think you write veri well im not a realbear or a tedibear but i does like Winney the Pooh so that is why i say’s "a bear of little brain". veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e don’t know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too )
well if you click the shutter then u are a photogaher and yeah the OM4 is a camera. its cool you work in a studio. it is a lot of responcibility to work with the ppl directly even if its all setup for you …that is just the equipment. its much more important how you interact with the clients that is what a lot of being a portrait photographer is all about i think ppl will remember *you*, they wont remember the camera sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little girls personality like no one ever had, it’s a DID thing i think to be able to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like 20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out. it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too. anyway…
seee you are a photographer but i knewed that already <giggle i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it never dreamed of doing with its wings.
wow that is so insightfull hey after writing yesterday i keyed in "lonely" and then "lonly+alone" into the image search section of google ….it was interesting what apaert from unrelated junk it showed. a lot of the images i thougt of and reading your post today a lot of what you thought of was there on my screen aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. )
that is so tru without aloneness how would we recognise when we are not alone. i think we need time alone to know where we end and someone else begins this i think is true for singletons <like me and multi-ppls (grin) how else to figgure out where the system inside stops and the outside universe begins trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is intruiging name.
im glad things seem brighter today "its hard to be brave when you’re only a very small animal." -Piglet. well Amanda Maddisons Memorial Nonsence Box is my computer the name comes from the 1980 "the next whole earth catalog" pp113 to 135 (bottom right hand corners) Amanda was a "small town usa" exentric who lived in the mid west. she did typical smalltown things in weird ways she used to send postcards to friends as though she was on an imaginary journey round the world so a postcard of miami would arive written as if she was an artic explorer. …took this in my gear to remind me of warmer weather. we’ll meet on the beach soon, love. progress is good but we had to put down a penguin rebellion last nite. it was rough but we’re safe now. think of you always. Norbert. so this puter is Amanda, on irc im knowen as Norbert (abuse0-survivors1 on undernet servers) reading about Amanda Madison took my fance so this is my contibution to keeping her spirit and veiw of life alive. (Amanda died in 1969) and the real memorial nonsence box is at Smitty’s bar in her home town blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically* thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web? you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple photos on r website but the company not like it’s employee do that. w/e put on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe w/e put kitten pictute on soon. caring n stuff, Veris
/me waves back <grin sori i dont have photos on the web yet but i hope to some day soon. and i still think u a photographer even if you dont wear the title at work,besides what do the customers think? i’ll bet that they think you are a photographer <giggle huggs from a bear of little brain (Iain) — behind every good fish is a bike with a flat tyre
Response:
thankee for rope *smiles n wipes eyes* verilittle he be wary of womens wanting to hold him so if he struggles insteada snuggles Mary is not you *smiles* he says right now he lika dyenths n if you is with dyenths is ok. he likes to chatter n laugh n ask questions to get to know ppl. right now the storm is not really his, he is the stormy petral, he looks for support n understanding n stuff to help joyful-veri. *sigh* joyful, a hopefull name, paradoxical almost, joyful carries so much fear n pain. verilittle runs ahead for other littles who hurt, finds help then goes on about his happy business. i think he is quite interested in the layout of your living room *chuckles* easily distracted. thaks Mary. comfort is a wonderful thing, lifts the veil form oones eyes to see such good things, like not alone. not alone. what is fwiw plz? Marys rambles make sense yes. what is she doing weird? yes comfort n things is good makee good use of those K? thanks. o thanks! caring n stuff, Veris
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – *throws rope* Hold on. I’ve got ya. *pulls little veri into arms* You’re safe here. No one can hurt you now. It’s ok to cry. Let it out. That’s it. Little one, can you tell me what’s wrong? what scared you? I’m here for you. Mary, for dyenths ps: <fwiw, Mary’s been bein *weird* today! don’t know what’s up with that. if nothing else, we offer comfort and support, if it helps. just ignore mary’s rambles (she’s our inside m0m) if they make no sense to you. net… well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
Response:
oh, had so many thoughts but then caught a friend on buddy message n talkee till quite qitie tired now n can hardly type or think. wa s a good talk with friend but tired now n wanted to say things. will try to remember the things romorow K? wenta google like you did n yes was quite something hmm. verifuni says, cya later gator *giggles* caring n stuff, Veri n ppls – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – *laughing a little litterally,it is verilittle who write:* hihi /me waves to verilittle hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye…and the thought that w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always. splorer helps me be seven and write. bye i think you write veri well im not a realbear or a tedibear but i does like Winney the Pooh so that is why i say’s "a bear of little brain". veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e don’t know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too ) well if you click the shutter then u are a photogaher and yeah the OM4 is a camera. its cool you work in a studio. it is a lot of responcibility to work with the ppl directly even if its all setup for you …that is just the equipment. its much more important how you interact with the clients that is what a lot of being a portrait photographer is all about i think ppl will remember *you*, they wont remember the camera sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little girls personality like no one ever had, it’s a DID thing i think to be able to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like 20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out. it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too. anyway… seee you are a photographer but i knewed that already <giggle i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it never dreamed of doing with its wings. wow that is so insightfull hey after writing yesterday i keyed in "lonely" and then "lonly+alone" into the image search section of google ….it was interesting what apaert from unrelated junk it showed. a lot of the images i thougt of and reading your post today a lot of what you thought of was there on my screen aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. ) that is so tru without aloneness how would we recognise when we are not alone. i think we need time alone to know where we end and someone else begins this i think is true for singletons <like me and multi-ppls (grin) how else to figgure out where the system inside stops and the outside universe begins trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is intruiging name. im glad things seem brighter today "its hard to be brave when you’re only a very small animal." -Piglet. well Amanda Maddisons Memorial Nonsence Box is my computer the name comes from the 1980 "the next whole earth catalog" pp113 to 135 (bottom right hand corners) Amanda was a "small town usa" exentric who lived in the mid west. she did typical smalltown things in weird ways she used to send postcards to friends as though she was on an imaginary journey round the world so a postcard of miami would arive written as if she was an artic explorer. …took this in my gear to remind me of warmer weather. we’ll meet on the beach soon, love. progress is good but we had to put down a penguin rebellion last nite. it was rough but we’re safe now. think of you always. Norbert. so this puter is Amanda, on irc im knowen as Norbert (abuse0-survivors1 on undernet servers) reading about Amanda Madison took my fance so this is my contibution to keeping her spirit and veiw of life alive. (Amanda died in 1969) and the real memorial nonsence box is at Smitty’s bar in her home town blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically* thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web? you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple photos on r website but the company not like it’s employee do that. w/e put on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe w/e put kitten pictute on soon. caring n stuff, Veris /me waves back <grin sori i dont have photos on the web yet but i hope to some day soon. and i still think u a photographer even if you dont wear the title at work,besides what do the customers think? i’ll bet that they think you are a photographer <giggle huggs from a bear of little brain (fwiw) — behind every good fish is a bike with a flat tyre
Response:
We thinks dat you are offly brave to face all dat stuf on you own. We hopes dat you work thru it and we sur dat wen you done, you will be stronger… jus know dat we thinkin’ bout you. lilrainy for Rainstar – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this.
– To e-mail remove extra from address
Response:
Ooo its you *smiles* hi lilrainy. i thinks w/e will work through this ok. w/e did work through other stuff. it is hard though, today is a hard day. w/e be thinking of yous too K? *waves from celeste n other girl littles* hi! carin gn stuff, veri, girls, n Explorer
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – We thinks dat you are offly brave to face all dat stuf on you own. We hopes dat you work thru it and we sur dat wen you done, you will be stronger… jus know dat we thinkin’ bout you. lilrainy for Rainstar well friends, o/ur storm has begun. raging loneliness, w/e have unleashed it by admitting it is there and deciding to use this golden opportunity to face down o/ur alone fears. w/e did write a lets-just-be-friends note to o/ur friend who hardly writes back to u/s anyway and stuff. and that really unleashed the storm. *sigh* i know something could still come to be with L, she has never said go away or anything and says she has so much going on in life with job n school she just can’t do it all and has to let some things slide. guess that means relationships too, maybe. don’t know, she never said that directly or really said anything to o/ur expressions. so i think w/e do not inspire much in her. and it best to let it go and move on. thus this storm. could barely function at work today. how long before they tell u/s take some time off veri n come back when you get things worked out?? sigh. w/e did borrow a kitten from the pet store at the end of the night n did a photo shoot with it n that pick u/s up somewhat. got some nice pictures of kitty sittin on a copy of romeo n juliet with a rose. nice came out nice. that make u/s feel a little up n stable for a bit. is nice to do something pretty. but then why are w/e obsessed with taking pictures with book of shakesphere and r and j? *sigh* do alot of those. makes nice pictues though *grins* yeah. feel like w/e are coming into tatters. alone so alone, there is an echo w/e are falling into, a memory(s). ugh. the birth of o/ur alone fears. will be good to face it see how much a lie it is and how veri veri small it is really. w/e can do this *w/e keep saying that like a mantra* w/e have a foregleam of incredible pain, someone small and alone in a dank place beleiving like sie beleives in g*d that this is it, sie is going to be alone forever, forever. can w/e focus on the child rather than the storm? forget furling the sails n lashing the wheel n battening the hatches n the capn’s shouted orders n just focus on the child? can the capn shout orders about the child rather than the storm n ship? that is what w/e have to do isn’t it? focus on the child rarher than the storm. it feels like w/e are in danger of being washed overboard with no one to throw u/s a lifering or rope end. but, the storm is powerless if w/e focus on the child, yes? and kittens and things? hope so. cause it sure feels real and it has only begun. it is the child’s storm more than mine, but the child is mine, o/urs, beloved precious. i am terrified, i am so so little to be facing this. thanks for reading this. — To e-mail remove extra from address
Response:
Iain, hello. i think w/e remembers what w/e was thoughts full of last night reading yous reply. it is hard being brave when you are a veri small animal. yes. w/e like your pooh quoting. verilittle says you are a veri nice person. yes ppl do rember u/s more than the camera ) one of these days w/e will give in and call u/s a photographer. ) w/e did shoot a group of mentally n physically challanged adults awhile back, five of them from a group home i think it was. it was challanging n inspiring. so w/e did for them a personification, a little pom that captured each one n pasted it into an eight by ten. one of the social workers i guess they are came by today to pick it up, w/e give those as gifts to specially inspiring ppls w/e shoot who really inspire u/s n keep u/s going. she reads the pom n was so surprised she says you captured each of theiur personalites so true. ppl are so surprised at that cause w/e only see the kids or ppl for a short short time. is nice when ppl are so pleased n surprised. anyway, maybe w/e will call u/s a photographer some day soon. :O_ thanx for the faith ) would it be hard to know one is not alone if one never was alone? that is an interesting philosophical point i have not the energy to pursue at the moment so w/e will just agree with you K? hehehe i think it is true. i like that about needing it to know where w/ e end n other ppl begin that is veri true, and very true too. ) it is important to kow who is who esp when there are so many me-s to know that about. ) tired. no more pholosophy for now. w/e did put amanda maddison in search engine n got interesting returns: JACAROUGE RED RAGDOLLS (seems to be a breed of cat), tennessee walking horse celebration, national missing persons unit, women mathamaticians… must try again, your bio of her is intruiging. nap time, hard day. talkee agian i hope caring n stuff, veri n vlittle n some *wavings* – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – *laughing a little litterally,it is verilittle who write:* hihi /me waves to verilittle hi, you are vry funny. *he refers to caught your eye…and the thought that w/e are a photographer* *waves smilin*is you a teddy bear or a real bear? no of u/s is bears, lotsa other animals though. do you like bears a lot? i am seven so i can write gooder than i will be 4 3/4 again like i am always. splorer helps me be seven and write. bye i think you write veri well im not a realbear or a tedibear but i does like Winney the Pooh so that is why i say’s "a bear of little brain". veri writes: w/e chuckle too at the idea w/e are a photographer cause w/e don’t know what a OM4TI is. a missle launcher? heehee. i am deducing it is a cam cause you say it is in your cam case. w/e know veri little about photography actually, w/e work in portrait studio where the cam settings n lighting n everything is all set up n the photographers just do the people part of photoraphy mostly. w/e talkee to the ppl n kids n set up shopt n click the shutter. oh, yeah, w/e unload the film too ) well if you click the shutter then u are a photogaher and yeah the OM4 is a camera. its cool you work in a studio. it is a lot of responcibility to work with the ppl directly even if its all setup for you …that is just the equipment. its much more important how you interact with the clients that is what a lot of being a portrait photographer is all about i think ppl will remember *you*, they wont remember the camera sometimes w/e play a bit with the lighting n learn stuff. w/e do make some nice pictures actually, lots of parents like what w/e do n w/e often get raves.one of o/ur favorite is the folks who said w/e captured thier little girls personality like no one ever had, it’s a DID thing i think to be able to see so much of someone in a short time first meeting. w/e only get like 20 minutes with the kids so w/e have to interact with them in a way that lets u/s peek through the surface to see within. and/or makes them peek out. it can be a source of bouyancy o/ur job. but is hard sometimes too. anyway… seee you are a photographer but i knewed that already <giggle i think loneliness is someone on a park bench babbling to an empty paper bag or to someone with thier back turned. i think it is a lone sailor clinging to a mast as waves tear at him and he is crying h*venward. and it is a wren looking at the world with that sideways look wrens do and realizing that this could just be something different altogether, that loneliness could be simply aloneness full of possibilites to understand itself and the things it never dreamed of doing with its wings. wow that is so insightfull hey after writing yesterday i keyed in "lonely" and then "lonly+alone" into the image search section of google ….it was interesting what apaert from unrelated junk it showed. a lot of the images i thougt of and reading your post today a lot of what you thought of was there on my screen aloneness should be a part of life not all of life n as you say, yes, w/e are not as alone as w/e feel. every day has many parts some parts we are with ppl some parts we are alone and we need all the parts of the day. we need a little alone time to hear ourselves and comtemplate and test our experiences with what we beleive about life the universe n everything. ) that is so tru without aloneness how would we recognise when we are not alone. i think we need time alone to know where we end and someone else begins this i think is true for singletons <like me and multi-ppls (grin) how else to figgure out where the system inside stops and the outside universe begins trying. brave words huh? actually things are a little better today. it helps that ppl notice huh? what does it mean memorial nonsense box? w/e have wondered about that for a while now since w/e seen you in the group. is intruiging name. im glad things seem brighter today "its hard to be brave when you’re only a very small animal." -Piglet. well Amanda Maddisons Memorial Nonsence Box is my computer the name comes from the 1980 "the next whole earth catalog" pp113 to 135 (bottom right hand corners) Amanda was a "small town usa" exentric who lived in the mid west. she did typical smalltown things in weird ways she used to send postcards to friends as though she was on an imaginary journey round the world so a postcard of miami would arive written as if she was an artic explorer. …took this in my gear to remind me of warmer weather. we’ll meet on the beach soon, love. progress is good but we had to put down a penguin rebellion last nite. it was rough but we’re safe now. think of you always. Norbert. so this puter is Amanda, on irc im knowen as Norbert (abuse0-survivors1 on undernet servers) reading about Amanda Madison took my fance so this is my contibution to keeping her spirit and veiw of life alive. (Amanda died in 1969) and the real memorial nonsence box is at Smitty’s bar in her home town blab blab blab, gots to shut up now. gots stuff to do. *waves energeically* thaks c ya later right? ok so by the by you have photographys on the web? you must be a photographer, a real one the way you write. w/e have a couple photos on r website but the company not like it’s employee do that. w/e put on some animal pic that they should not mind so much as kids pictures. maybe w/e put kitten pictute on soon. caring n stuff, Veris /me waves back <grin sori i dont have photos on the web yet but i hope to some day soon. and i still think u a photographer even if you dont wear the title at work,besides what do the customers think? i’ll bet that they think you are a photographer <giggle huggs from a bear of little brain (Iain) — behind every good fish is a bike with a flat tyre
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Lonely
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