Lonely Loneliness

Gave Up

Question:

I pick and choose my friends just like anyone else does.  In one breath I’m a nice guy and in another there’s something wrong with me in how I pick my friends.  My friends are not hideous monsters.  Please don’t use me as a scapegoat in your decision as to whether to assault or not assault my friends.  Don’t use me as your "reason" to hold back.  Fire away I’m sure the so called "hideous monsters" can defend themselves.  Sorry Bill if I got off a little bit and thanks Bill for the kind words.  Let there be peace – is that such a terrible thing?  I don’t think so and I’m sure mixmaster you can find peace here also if you truly want it. Yhugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bill wrote: >     Well, if you like Eddie then you can’t be half as bad as you let on. > Thanx for reaching out to Eddie, he is a special guy. > Bill > Mixmaster wrote in message <199909050833.BAA07…@sirius.infonex.com>… > >Don’t you give up, comrade. > >You are one of the main reasons why I hold back from really letting > >some of these hypocrites and liars here have it with full force to > >thoroughly punish them for their horrible behaviors and attitudes. > >Their only claim to some semblance of humanity is the fact that for > >some certainly uncomprehensible reason, you deign to be friends with > >these hideous monsters.  How  a person like you can stand to stomach > >their presence is beyond me, but that is your choice. > >So you can see that if you leave, they will really be in for some > >truly memorable and hair-raising posts. > >So Chief, don’t give up because you are needed here. > >MixMaster

Response:

No you’re not.  You have some of the most readable and interesting posts of any in the group.  You are liked and admired by myself and many of the others here. Be well and best wishes this holiday weekend. Regards, Casey * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

That’s another thing I forgot to mention: You are about the most well-liked person in the group. I’ve never read a bad thing about you. Even the trolls leave you alone. How can that make you a loser. Casey * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

OB wrote: > This chimes in with my experience. I have met one person from this group, and am > very glad I did, but no-one will ever know the courage it took to go up to that door > and knock… or for that matter, the courage it took, some months before, to talk on > the phone. When a friendship works so well in email why run the risk of losing it by > meeting the person and disappointing them? I don’t think anyone should be placed in > the situation of "oh dear, they’re having a ‘meet’ in my area, if I don’t go they’ll > think I’m unfriendly, but if I do go, heaven knows what they’ll think of me when > they see what I am REALLY like…" In other words I think it’s great to meet people > you have corresponded with, but ONLY when both of you feel ready and out of a > spontaneous desire, and it’s NOT great if people feel pushed into it. > OB

    You explained this much better than I could, darlin’.  You have gotten across the "feeling" of it that I could not.  What you have said, is how many have said they feel also.  Hugs, Jae — "Ask questions from your heart…………               And you will be answered from the heart."                      Omaha Proverb

Response:

Jae: That was about as well written explanation for why it would be hard for ASL’ers to get together as I’ve ever read. I wouldn’t mind meeting folks from here and it would be fun to be together for a few hours, such as a good ol’ Texas Barbeque, but after that…what? Regards, Casey * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

Mixmaster wrote: > <Troll threats>

  When will you learn, hiding behind anonymous remailers gives your words no weight.  What you have called others is what you yourself exhibit in post after post.  Attempting to harm others with your words, making threats and speaking of "punishment" that you will attempt, can gain you no respect or liking from anyone with reasonable intelligence.

Response:

    Well, if you like Eddie then you can’t be half as bad as you let on. Thanx for reaching out to Eddie, he is a special guy. Bill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Mixmaster wrote in message <199909050833.BAA07…@sirius.infonex.com>… >Don’t you give up, comrade. >You are one of the main reasons why I hold back from really letting >some of these hypocrites and liars here have it with full force to >thoroughly punish them for their horrible behaviors and attitudes. >Their only claim to some semblance of humanity is the fact that for >some certainly uncomprehensible reason, you deign to be friends with >these hideous monsters.  How  a person like you can stand to stomach >their presence is beyond me, but that is your choice. >So you can see that if you leave, they will really be in for some >truly memorable and hair-raising posts. >So Chief, don’t give up because you are needed here. >MixMaster

Response:

I could nto agree more with you: I met some persons, like Richard, that became very good friends and still are. I met others that pressured me into meeting them (I did not feel I needed to meet them at that time,  where they seemed more interested in that by far than I was, and on a romantic level on their side?) where it turned to disaster (once, but once is enough!:)). And then there is the entire panoply of men saying anythign to try and make a hit:), and offe4rign you to come over and spend two weeks while their "ex" gf is on hollidays:). I remember a specific instance where I then replied that thanks, but no thanks, and where the man had a fot, replyign that I was possessive and jalous, as he also had concluded months before, where I again had declined an invitation to meet him in Toronto where he woudl eb travelling for work: the thing was, I then coudl see that he wanted to meet for sex, cause when I mentioend there woudl be no intimate nothing though, and to please understand that clearly, given how he was in a relationship, no matter how "dead" he called the relationship in question, he reacted in sending me a furious email, tellign me there too that I was supposedly possessive and jalous, for not wanting to have intimacy (read sex) cause eh was already with soemone (erm?? Run that by me again? LOL:)). That one kept stating dates, and times at which he woudl try and meet me. He never checked much with me to see if I cared to, after learnign of how he saw love and life and intimacy (and havign a word and being h9onest and so on). The last he invited himself to meet me, since that si what it was in fact:), was aXMas two or three eyars ago. Hehad started talking about ti in September, and that time I thought mayeb then he had realized that perhaps we could be friend and did not exist only to meet and have sex, as he previously seemed to think it was in life:). Of course, a XMas time means XMas festivities and activities. I then wodnered if I had to prepare for real, and asked as time went, to see the subject avoided, or at tiems the inting himself repeateded and cofnirmed in words…. I waited, not trusting it much. Then as time came closer, I saved to buy a present and reserved places for the hollidays, knwoign I coudl cancel would he again invote himselgf and rpessure h8imself into meetign soemoen he never really cared sincerely about and only said anythign to to look good:). Ten days only before XMas came an email, rude, gross with rudeness, where he played the rpessured man (!!takes soem nerves!!:)) and said eh was goignwith his supposed moved out ex, this time (laughign so much now:)), in that other country for XMas, not wanting her to feel bad and alone for XMas:):). How honorable of him! L:) I retuened the presents, and cancelled the reservations. It hasd been a whole lot of trouble and felt even more so as my heartw as not into it, knowign that he had doen that time after time in the past. Yet woudol you ask that person today, I am sure he woudl reply to your post, OB, in saying how he …felt pressured into meeting me!!;-)L:). Not. I felt annoyed by his repeatign the same thing each time and actign like one thinking I was that dumb as to fall for it. Whene ach time he offered meeting, I declined. I declined the paid hotels, the offered apartment (his and his gf’s), the offered paid plane fare, I declined it all each time…..And yet, he woudl say today he felt pressured into meeting me, I would bet L:):) Perceptions, huh?:) Goes to say. So…. Some persons are interestign to meet. Soem others not. But most of all, I think it is their *expectations* that are a pain to meet, where I woudl rather they woudl meet ME and not who they fantasized about or created out of their dreams. Another thing. I think that emailing back and forth does make it so one imagines they know someoen well. Then I woudl suggest that meeting someone can only work if they meet shortly enough after they started penpalling. Then, the misperceptiosn can fast be avoided, and a penpalship be much more hoenst and worthy if two meet early enough….before all relaity is distorted by "cyberceptions":). Gld you also lived positive experiences in meeting penpals. Glad you met the person and not your projectiosn of her, and that your eprceptions were thus not let to become bigger than her reality in your mind, as that one I think is a no-no in meeting a penpal,- as that disastrous experuence I had (mentioned early in post) showed me-. Sometimes, gettign relaity back where it belongs is too hard to do when one made his fictive eprceptiosn a reality one shoudl have to like complying to…. And being as others woudl want me to or expect me to never was my strong point. I like being genuoine too much to just play pleasing and "fit the already-made-mold-of-my-expectations-darling":). So, to all invitations I was made and am or will be made to meet, the same reply will always be "Shall see. Shall see THEN if you are there then". And I let the other know that I will not even talk abotu that unless it happens. I was not born yesterday:) If they want to give words and promises and pressure themselves into their own promises? That is their thing. Mine is "Shall see". No time to waste on would-be’s. Nor would-have-been’s!:) Best to you, and may you never meet anyone out of any pressure, too!:) Chloe  OB – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(obl…@my-deja.com) writes: > This chimes in with my experience. I have met one person from this group, and am > very glad I did, but no-one will ever know the courage it took to go up to that door > and knock… or for that matter, the courage it took, some months before, to talk on > the phone. When a friendship works so well in email why run the risk of losing it by > meeting the person and disappointing them? I don’t think anyone should be placed in > the situation of "oh dear, they’re having a ‘meet’ in my area, if I don’t go they’ll > think I’m unfriendly, but if I do go, heaven knows what they’ll think of me when > they see what I am REALLY like…" In other words I think it’s great to meet people > you have corresponded with, but ONLY when both of you feel ready and out of a > spontaneous desire, and it’s NOT great if people feel pushed into it. > OB > LadyJae wrote: > <snip> >>   They fear that they >> will not be liked if met in person, that they will not know what to say, how to >> act so that they will be liked and that they will lose the friendships they have >> on the net because of it. > <snip>

Response:

Don’t you give up, comrade. You are one of the main reasons why I hold back from really letting some of these hypocrites and liars here have it with full force to thoroughly punish them for their horrible behaviors and attitudes.   Their only claim to some semblance of humanity is the fact that for some certainly uncomprehensible reason, you deign to be friends with these hideous monsters.  How  a person like you can stand to stomach their presence is beyond me, but that is your choice. So you can see that if you leave, they will really be in for some truly memorable and hair-raising posts. So Chief, don’t give up because you are needed here. MixMaster

Response:

This chimes in with my experience. I have met one person from this group, and am very glad I did, but no-one will ever know the courage it took to go up to that door and knock… or for that matter, the courage it took, some months before, to talk on the phone. When a friendship works so well in email why run the risk of losing it by meeting the person and disappointing them? I don’t think anyone should be placed in the situation of "oh dear, they’re having a ‘meet’ in my area, if I don’t go they’ll think I’m unfriendly, but if I do go, heaven knows what they’ll think of me when they see what I am REALLY like…" In other words I think it’s great to meet people you have corresponded with, but ONLY when both of you feel ready and out of a spontaneous desire, and it’s NOT great if people feel pushed into it. OB LadyJae wrote:

<snip> >   They fear that they > will not be liked if met in person, that they will not know what to say, how to > act so that they will be liked and that they will lose the friendships they have > on the net because of it.

<snip>

Response:

Ding.. style of writing.. and some of these words.. anyone seeing this.. hey.. mixxy baby.. you need a life.. you believe you are trapped don’t you..  oh.. I feel so bad you feel the need to do this.. a tear has been shed for you.. Peace to you.. inside where it counts.. Pamela Mixmaster <mixmas…@remail.obscura.com> wrote in message

news:199909050833.BAA07421@sirius.infonex.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Don’t you give up, comrade. > You are one of the main reasons why I hold back from really letting > some of these hypocrites and liars here have it with full force to > thoroughly punish them for their horrible behaviors and attitudes. > Their only claim to some semblance of humanity is the fact that for > some certainly uncomprehensible reason, you deign to be friends with > these hideous monsters.  How  a person like you can stand to stomach > their presence is beyond me, but that is your choice. > So you can see that if you leave, they will really be in for some > truly memorable and hair-raising posts. > So Chief, don’t give up because you are needed here. > MixMaster

Response:

:On me :On everything :So therefore I’m a loser : P&M Hugs, aplenty!  Dear Chief, I am sorry that you are feeling like you are a loser. Yes, I also feel like giving up right now, life is a bit overwhelming at times. And at other times, a LOT overwhelming. The Eddie that I have met here and in email, is a true friend with a heart of gold. Yes, you can FEEL like a loser, but you can never never never never ever BE one! How about taking a break from us all? Have some time to relax, and take care of yourself and your family. Love you, and please know that you’re in my prayers. Caroline

Response:

I do know how tough things get at times. And this is why I’m here too.  I’ve been lonely for many years, and the only thing that helped me was God.  When I took the Bible seriously, and living according to it, things began to change for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I still battle with being alone, but life seems livable now. What I can’t understand, with a newsgroup that brings us all thogether, why can’t we organise meetings in different regional areas.  I mean the internet newsgroup thing is great, but it’s only 1 dementional compaired to getting together for real.   I would really like to try to do something like this. Let me know what you think.   But what ever you do, don’t give up!  I refuse to let this get the best of me, and you shouldn’t either. Talk to ya, mark chief <spoo…@banet.net> wrote in message

news:37D188AC.C08397B9@banet.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On me > On everything > So therefore I’m a loser

Response:

    No f en way! You are no loser! Damn, you have always been here for all of us at one time or another. Won’t give up on you Eddie!     ((((((((((((((((((((((EDDIE))))))))))))))))) Bill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -chief wrote in message <37D188AC.C0839…@banet.net>… >On me >On everything >So therefore I’m a loser

Response:

You have a rare quality that I admire and envy: you seem to be liked by just about everybody (or everybody who’s anybody). That isn’t a loser in my book. Don’t give up, please – you’re part of what makes me keep coming back to this group, and you make a difference to people with what you write. We all get these moments, but just hang in there and things will look better in a day or two. Your friend OB – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -chief wrote: > On me > On everything > So therefore I’m a loser

Response:

Posted and Mailed Some people have met from this group.  Some, do not wish to.  There are many that are barely comfortable in this medium, where they cannot be seen.  To actually meet someone from here is unthinkable to them.  They fear that they will not be liked if met in person, that they will not know what to say, how to act so that they will be liked and that they will lose the friendships they have on the net because of it.  Also, some here are ill or handicapped and cannot travel.  Some have no transportation and not the money to go to a "meet".  There are many reasons that these meetings do not take place.  And there is a feeling that even should people get together, it would be only a brief thing.  People would still go back to their lonely lives.  Though there may be people besides myself here from Texas, we are in most cases, hundreds of miles apart.  Not likely to be an every day real life friendship even after we meet.  Though this may only be one dimensional, it is constant and available, servers willing, every moment.  It is support for those who are wishing support for their loneliness, that is always here for them.  But, again, for those who are able and willing, meeting in real life is done at times.  Jae – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Mark wrote: > I do know how tough things get at times. And this is why I’m here too.  I’ve > been lonely for many years, > and the only thing that helped me was God.  When I took the Bible seriously, > and living according to it, > things began to change for me.  Don’t get me wrong, I still battle with > being alone, but life seems livable now. > What I can’t understand, with a newsgroup that brings us all thogether, why > can’t we organise meetings in different > regional areas.  I mean the internet newsgroup thing is great, but it’s only > 1 dementional compaired to getting together > for real.   I would really like to try to do something like this. > Let me know what you think.   But what ever you do, don’t give up!  I refuse > to let this get the best of me, and > you shouldn’t either. > Talk to ya, > mark > chief <spoo…@banet.net> wrote in message > news:37D188AC.C08397B9@banet.net… > > On me > > On everything > > So therefore I’m a loser

– "We will be known forever……..            By the tracks we leave."               Dakota Proverb

Response:

Eddie.. You have been one of the strongest support I know.. you have been through some of the worst times imaginable.. you are a good man you are fun to have around you make most of us smile,  and you bend over backwards for your family so much you should be Gumby by now.. Eddie.. needs to stop… Look around darling.. see the good stuff.. take care of YOU filter out some of the bad.. make a list if you must.. what has been good, what has been bad.. bottom line.. You are NOT A LOSER.. but baby.. you got tough times you are passing through right now.. <big hugs> Pamela LadyJae <J…@blackhat.net> wrote in message

news:37D18D0B.6CE84AB8@blackhat.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Posted and Mailed > chief wrote: > > On me > > On everything > > So therefore I’m a loser >      I don’t think you’ve given up or that you’re a loser.  If that > were true, you wouldn’t have posted this.  Talk to us about it, > please, darlin’.  Hugs, Jae > — > "We will be known forever…….. >            By the tracks we leave." >               Dakota Proverb

Response:

Eddie – you are NOT a loser. Farthest thing in the world from it! ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))) You’re feeling depressed and everything is colored by those feelings……Wish the pain would go away, I know…..vent away…. Regards, Jenn — – — – — – — – — – — – — – — – "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."  - Charlie Brown http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html <– Mental Health Guide

Response:

I don’t think you’re a loser, Chief.  There seems to be an epidemic of "giving up" lately, including me.  I’ve unsubscribed from 4 newsgroups in the past 2 days, and intend to unsubscribe from 2 more in the near future, including ASL.  Hopefully, if/when I can get a grip on my "real life" (what’s that?), I may be able to return for visits, as I mentioned a little while back that I would be here less due to more demands on my time (work).  That will leave me with 3 newsgroups left, and one of "them" is no longer active, but will continue to subscribe for archival purposes, until I find a way to save all posts onto my computer.  I may have even DONE that already.  I don’t even remember.  One of these days I REALLY got to get "organized".  (yeah, right.  As if that is even a possibility)  < smile > Hang in there, Chief, and Take Care. KenJ chief <spoo…@banet.net> wrote in article <37D188AC.C0839…@banet.net>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On me > On everything > So therefore I’m a loser

Response:

In article <37D188AC.C0839…@banet.net>, spoo…@banet.net says… >On me >On everything >So therefore I’m a loser

Everyone may be termed a loser here, including me. Everyone has some part of their life, in which they are a loser, that is for sure, even those who are termed successful have these qualities too. We just acknowledge them. But being a loser, is not so bad, when you know how stuck up this world has become – and how bad the values are that are ingrained in you each day. It is good to give up sometimes, and re-evaluate your life – it’s tough looking at your life, and then 5 or 10 years into the future and wonder will anything have changed by then? But the real question is always about being happy and not material possessions or money in the bank, etc. If you are happy, doesn’t everything else rate as being secondary? Meaning, that when you’re happy, you can take on the burdens easily, and eventually get to where you want to get to ; re: all the material stuff, as long as inside, you are alive and well. Harvey

Response:

Posted and Mailed chief wrote: > On me > On everything > So therefore I’m a loser

     I don’t think you’ve given up or that you’re a loser.  If that were true, you wouldn’t have posted this.  Talk to us about it, please, darlin’.  Hugs, Jae — "We will be known forever……..            By the tracks we leave."               Dakota Proverb

Response:

On me On everything So therefore I’m a loser

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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