Have the priorities changed?
Question:
Grow up Raf, be a man, not a child Pamela – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<raffa…@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:82hl5f$8pc$1@nnrp1.deja.com…
Response:
You’re so sweet… (((( Pamela )))) In article <eLBmuYOQ$GA.229@cpmsnbbsa04>, "Unicorn" <Unicorn_4_Ma…@yahoo.com> wrote: <friendly snip> — All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
In article <19991204230608.23941.00000…@ng-co1.aol.com>, cking10…@aol.com (CKing10710) wrote: > How about the supportive ones and ones needing support > hang on and speak to each other and just ignore the people > trying to make the problems?
This is exactly the message of the "Letter from a friend" by Biff, which explains why somebody here didn’t like it. — All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
In article <19991204230137.23941.00000…@ng-co1.aol.com>, cking10…@aol.com (CKing10710) wrote: This was written by Harvey: > >I just hope it doesn’t get sour as ASH and stay that way. > What is ASH? Did it end due to too much fighting or something?
Well, ASH is alt.suicide.holyday. It is another NG, with a peculiar phylosophy (they think that suicide is OK, which is unusual here). Not much time before, Harvey has visited that group and offended people there. They fought him back. No, ASH didn’t end due to the fighting. Under that respect, they show more maturity than ASLers and attack only exterior invaders, not each other. — All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Dear Bonnie….I understand your disappointment and frustration very well. It makes my heart hurt to see ASL like this. The answer to your question….No the purpose hasn’t been lost. It is still here and will remain here. The problem is that raffaele has returned once again, and history shows that when he shows up he does his best to destroy the support in this group. I’m so very sorry that you and all of us have to contend with this loathsome behaviour of one person. As long as we have people, like yourself, who are strong enough to withstand his periodic attacks, then we will remain a support group. I have placed him in my killfile….and I suggest others do the same. ASL has never known peace when raff is here. I do hope that the people who are lonely, needing someone to talk with, or just needing a hug and knowing that someone cares will see this is still the place to receive it. Thank you for being here, Bonnie. We need you. Hugs and Smiles, Gina "May you always know the truth, And see the lights surrounding you… May you always be courageous, Stand upright and be strong…" —Bob Dylan
Response:
>In the interest of peace I to will not longer read any of his posts. There >can not >be a reaction to an action if that action is not visible to react to. Be >well. >Hugs >Eddie (Chief)
Thank you, Chief. We are already on the road to recovery !!! I feel the load getting lighter. :-) He isn’t worth the time nor the energy it takes to read his filthy lies, and his power to anger me is gone. I feel sooo much better !!! Hugs and Smiles, Gina "May you always know the truth, And see the lights surrounding you… May you always be courageous, Stand upright and be strong…" —Bob Dylan
Response:
To the good people of ASL: Below a promise of Eddie, for "peace’s sake". I wonder if later he will break it, with one of the following explanations: 1. I was just kidding! (like with "Ric who?"). 2. Your behaviour made me impossible to keep my "promise" (please note the hyphens). 3. Why dig up dinosaurs bones? Forget the past! We will see. For now, I just keep record of this. In article <384B3009.D244E…@banet.net>, spoo…@banet.net wrote: > In the interest of peace I to will not longer read any > of his posts. There can not be a reaction to an action > if that action is not visible to react to.
– All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
To the good people of ASL: Below a promise of Eddie, for "peace’s sake". I wonder if later he will break it, with one of the following explanations: 1. I was just kidding! (like with "Ric who?"). 2. Your behaviour made me impossible to keep my "promise" (please note the quotation marks). 3. Why dig up dinosaurs bones? Forget the past! We will see. For now, I just keep record of this. In article <384B3009.D244E…@banet.net>, spoo…@banet.net wrote: > In the interest of peace I to will not longer read any > of his posts. There can not be a reaction to an action > if that action is not visible to react to.
– All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
So what am I the rest of the time?????? hmmmmmmm Time for the beans, hahahehehe. Thanks Hugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Unicorn wrote: > Eddie.. > Geeze.. You are so very wise sometimes.. That was a wonderful expression of > what happens.. > Pamela > "Candyman" <spoo…@banet.net> wrote in message > news:384AB23D.57DF1666@banet.net… > > The truth is Bonnie the truth has not been lost. It certainly appears as > if it has > > but often times within a group of "lonely" people the underlying reasons > of > > loneliness have a direct impact on how we act here and in real life. Many > that are > > lonely find blame in others, never accepting the fact that they may have > had an > > impact, and possibly large impact, into what has created there loneliness. > Many > > look for help in getting out of that loneliness but rather than look for > supporters > > (even though they believe they are), they are actually looking for > enablers – those > > that support there actions and therefore enable them to at least believe > that they > > themselves have absolutely nothing to do with there loneliness. And they > believe > > they are completely right, not willing to accept the possibility that they > > themselves could have played a role in there past and present loneliness. > In many > > ways they probably need support more than others but in a different, maybe > more > > diplomatic way. Now I understand this does not include everyone and many > have > > been dealt a pretty raw deal in life, and yes trully are looking for and > need > > support be it either advice or just plain chatter. There are also those > that have > > a disire, almost a need, to control something or someone yet in a sense > are shy, > > but alas it’s alot easier to act out that "power" if you will, when not > actually > > face to face with others, and the internal lion of some is let out – > making them > > feel strong if they in any way succeed. Human nature gives us a strong > desire to > > defend outselves and our actions and what you’re seeing here right now is > pretty > > much what’s going on. Many seek justification of there actions, even by > twisting > > words, whether they believe they are wrong or not. There will come a time > I pray > > that this will settle down, but unfortunately this happens quite > regularly. Sorry > > about the ramblings. Hope this finds you well > > Hugs > > Eddie (Chief) > > Bonnie wrote: > > > I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I > missed > > > the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments > are back > > > seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are > posting, > > > but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. > Much > > > of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may > not > > > understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one > of > > > their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the > energies > > > of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I > have > > > never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or > that I > > > felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for > them > > > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the > ones that > > > are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing > whatever it > > > takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > > > myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those > walls are > > > getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up > and > > > stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or > that are > > > somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When > I come > > > here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I > do > > > know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and > maybe > > > these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that > decision. My > > > question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems > of the > > > group? > > > Bonnie
Response:
In article <OVMPDD#P$GA.329@cpmsnbbsa04>, "Unicorn" <unicorn@us-business> wrote: > Eddie.. > Geeze.. You are so very wise sometimes.. > That was a wonderful expression of what happens.. > Pamela
Do you mean the slander by Maddogg against yourself? — All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Eddie.. Geeze.. You are so very wise sometimes.. That was a wonderful expression of what happens.. Pamela "Candyman" <spoo…@banet.net> wrote in message
news:384AB23D.57DF1666@banet.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The truth is Bonnie the truth has not been lost. It certainly appears as if it has > but often times within a group of "lonely" people the underlying reasons of > loneliness have a direct impact on how we act here and in real life. Many that are > lonely find blame in others, never accepting the fact that they may have had an > impact, and possibly large impact, into what has created there loneliness. Many > look for help in getting out of that loneliness but rather than look for supporters > (even though they believe they are), they are actually looking for enablers – those > that support there actions and therefore enable them to at least believe that they > themselves have absolutely nothing to do with there loneliness. And they believe > they are completely right, not willing to accept the possibility that they > themselves could have played a role in there past and present loneliness. In many > ways they probably need support more than others but in a different, maybe more > diplomatic way. Now I understand this does not include everyone and many have > been dealt a pretty raw deal in life, and yes trully are looking for and need > support be it either advice or just plain chatter. There are also those that have > a disire, almost a need, to control something or someone yet in a sense are shy, > but alas it’s alot easier to act out that "power" if you will, when not actually > face to face with others, and the internal lion of some is let out – making them > feel strong if they in any way succeed. Human nature gives us a strong desire to > defend outselves and our actions and what you’re seeing here right now is pretty > much what’s going on. Many seek justification of there actions, even by twisting > words, whether they believe they are wrong or not. There will come a time I pray > that this will settle down, but unfortunately this happens quite regularly. Sorry > about the ramblings. Hope this finds you well > Hugs > Eddie (Chief) > Bonnie wrote: > > I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed > > the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back > > seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, > > but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much > > of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not > > understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of > > their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies > > of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have > > never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I > > felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them > > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that > > are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it > > takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > > myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are > > getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and > > stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are > > somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come > > here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do > > know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe > > these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My > > question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the > > group? > > Bonnie
Response:
There is no magic answer. Well, actually there is, but it’s so simple that almost everyone ignores it. It’s a cliche, and today most people forget that the simple things in life – make all the difference. This group will go up and down, depends who’s here – right now. And those disruptive people do come back again – doing the same thing over and over – and what good people there are, do their thing over and over. You can only connect with those, who you get along with, build those relationships up for worthwhile friendships. Everyone faces their own battles, win and/or lose every day. Some people don’t fight at all, they know peace is the way. Unfortunately, they too often get trodden upon, who don’t understand the way of peace. Will ASL ever be that utopia, that you envisioned? No, I don’t think so. I just hope it doesn’t get sour as ASH and stay that way. Harvey In article <19991204144432.18095.00000…@ng-ft1.aol.com>, zan…@aol.com says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed >the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back >seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, >but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much >of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not >understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of >their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies >of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have >never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I >felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them >because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that >are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it >takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help >myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are >getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and >stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are >somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come >here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do >know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe >these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My >question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the >group? >Bonnie
Response:
That is one of the most intelligent explanations of this I’ve read. Thank you Eddie for your insight. Hugs Bonnie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Subject: Re: Have the priorities changed? >From: Candyman spoo…@banet.net >Date: Sun, 05 December 1999 01:43 PM EST >Message-id: <384AB23D.57DF1…@banet.net> >The truth is Bonnie the truth has not been lost. It certainly appears as if >it has >but often times within a group of "lonely" people the underlying reasons of >loneliness have a direct impact on how we act here and in real life. Many >that are >lonely find blame in others, never accepting the fact that they may have had >an >impact, and possibly large impact, into what has created there loneliness. >Many >look for help in getting out of that loneliness but rather than look for >supporters >(even though they believe they are), they are actually looking for enablers – >those >that support there actions and therefore enable them to at least believe that >they >themselves have absolutely nothing to do with there loneliness. And they >believe >they are completely right, not willing to accept the possibility that they >themselves could have played a role in there past and present loneliness. In >many >ways they probably need support more than others but in a different, maybe >more >diplomatic way. Now I understand this does not include everyone and many >have >been dealt a pretty raw deal in life, and yes trully are looking for and need >support be it either advice or just plain chatter. There are also those that >have >a disire, almost a need, to control something or someone yet in a sense are >shy, >but alas it’s alot easier to act out that "power" if you will, when not >actually >face to face with others, and the internal lion of some is let out – making >them >feel strong if they in any way succeed. Human nature gives us a strong >desire to >defend outselves and our actions and what you’re seeing here right now is >pretty >much what’s going on. Many seek justification of there actions, even by >twisting >words, whether they believe they are wrong or not. There will come a time I >pray >that this will settle down, but unfortunately this happens quite regularly. >Sorry >about the ramblings. Hope this finds you well >Hugs >Eddie (Chief) >Bonnie wrote: >> I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I >missed >> the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are >back >> seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are >posting, >> but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. >Much >> of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not >> understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of >> their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the >energies >> of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I >have >> never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that >I >> felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them >> because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones >that >> are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever >it >> takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help >> myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls >are >> getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up >and >> stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that >are >> somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I >come >> here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do >> know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe >> these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. >My >> question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of >the >> group? >> Bonnie
Response:
In the interest of peace I to will not longer read any of his posts. There can not be a reaction to an action if that action is not visible to react to. Be well. Hugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Gina wrote: > Dear Bonnie….I understand your disappointment and frustration very well. It > makes my heart hurt to see ASL like this. > The answer to your question….No the purpose hasn’t been lost. It is still > here and will remain here. The problem is that raffaele has returned once > again, and history shows that when he shows up he does his best to destroy the > support in this group. I’m so very sorry that you and all of us have to > contend with this loathsome behaviour of one person. As long as we have > people, like yourself, who are strong enough to withstand his periodic attacks, > then we will remain a support group. I have placed him in my killfile….and I > suggest others do the same. ASL has never known peace when raff is here. I do > hope that the people who are lonely, needing someone to talk with, or just > needing a hug and knowing that someone cares will see this is still the place > to receive it. Thank you for being here, Bonnie. We need you. > Hugs and Smiles, > Gina > "May you always know the truth, > And see the lights surrounding you… > May you always be courageous, > Stand upright and be strong…" > —Bob Dylan
Response:
>so. >I just hope it doesn’t get sour as ASH and stay that way.
What is ASH? Did it end due to too much fighting or something?
Response:
How about the supportive ones and ones needing support hang on and speak to each other and just ignore the people trying to make the problems? (Of course that’s easy for me to say since I don’t understand the ones here to offend anyone like that chatter the giggle one did, so its easy for me to ignore it and go on to more supportive or needing support types of posts on here!)
Response:
The truth is Bonnie the truth has not been lost. It certainly appears as if it has but often times within a group of "lonely" people the underlying reasons of loneliness have a direct impact on how we act here and in real life. Many that are lonely find blame in others, never accepting the fact that they may have had an impact, and possibly large impact, into what has created there loneliness. Many look for help in getting out of that loneliness but rather than look for supporters (even though they believe they are), they are actually looking for enablers – those that support there actions and therefore enable them to at least believe that they themselves have absolutely nothing to do with there loneliness. And they believe they are completely right, not willing to accept the possibility that they themselves could have played a role in there past and present loneliness. In many ways they probably need support more than others but in a different, maybe more diplomatic way. Now I understand this does not include everyone and many have been dealt a pretty raw deal in life, and yes trully are looking for and need support be it either advice or just plain chatter. There are also those that have a disire, almost a need, to control something or someone yet in a sense are shy, but alas it’s alot easier to act out that "power" if you will, when not actually face to face with others, and the internal lion of some is let out – making them feel strong if they in any way succeed. Human nature gives us a strong desire to defend outselves and our actions and what you’re seeing here right now is pretty much what’s going on. Many seek justification of there actions, even by twisting words, whether they believe they are wrong or not. There will come a time I pray that this will settle down, but unfortunately this happens quite regularly. Sorry about the ramblings. Hope this finds you well Hugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bonnie wrote: > I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed > the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back > seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, > but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much > of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not > understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of > their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies > of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have > never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I > felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that > are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it > takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are > getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and > stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are > somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come > here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do > know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe > these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My > question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the > group? > Bonnie
Response:
Bonnie: I don’t know if I really have any words that will help you, but I do know that when life gets to be too much for us, it becomes more difficult to be supportive to others who are hurting. Sometimes, it’s all you can do to pull yourself up out of the dust. That’s even harder to do if there’s no one to support you. Still, I hope you feel that you have friends here, regardless of all the other junk that’s going on. If you need to vent, talk or whatever, you can always e-mail me. Angela Bonnie <zan…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991204144432.18095.00000450@ng-ft1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed > the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back > seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, > but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much > of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not > understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of > their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies > of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have > never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I > felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that > are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it > takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are > getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and > stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are > somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come > here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do > know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe > these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My > question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the > group? > Bonnie
Response:
Hello Bonnie! In article <19991204144432.18095.00000…@ng-ft1.aol.com>, zan…@aol.com (Bonnie) wrote: > I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back > because I missed the people, the caring and the support.
I must confess that I’ve seen your handle, but didn’t notice you very much. However, I find this post of you interesting and well-written. > But now all the old arguments are back seemingly taking the > place of the support once given. Very few are posting, > but there are some looking for help or simply support > and understanding. Much of the understanding that was here > is gone now. Some are new and may not understand what it > is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of > their last chances to reach out to another human. > It seems as if the energies of the group are misdirected > somewhat here. This is a support group.
You give a good picture of the actual state of this group. Looking at it closely, you’ll notice that only a very small number of posters keep provoking over and over. The stupid theories about "taking over the group", whatever this may mean, together with fantasies about authorities that will believe to such delire, are not validated by the more reasonable posters. If the nonsense keeps going on, I suggest you to ignore it, and maybe just forget the posters who asked for it. A very little number indeed. > I have never been able to give the kind of support that > I wanted to give, or that I felt in my heart. > When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. > I want to help the ones that are reaching, I want to reach > back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it > takes to do that. > How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > myself?
Good point. You need some inner peace and strength to help others. Now, just think to your needs, the time will come. > I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems > those walls are getting harder and rougher everyday. > A part of me wants to just give up and stop trying, > stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, > or that are somehow lost in the dark go to find > understanding and support now? When I come > here now I find many of the very things I am running > from in my life.
There are some people who just can’t help hunting for targets to blame, because they’re unable to manage, or even to accept, their own anger. > I do know there are some valid and very important issues > at stake here and maybe these do need to be addressed. > It is not up to me to make that decision. > My question is has the purpose of this group been lost in > all the problems of the group?
The group will keep work in spite of all distruption caused by a minority, that’s for sure. What you, me, everybody can do is try to let it behind and not pay too much attention to it. If you are wondering at my taking part to the present nonsense, think all you want, but first ask to yourself: what if *you* were the target of a massive, gratuitous hate propaganda? After you’ve found the reply, feel free to tell me that I overreacted. > Bonnie
– All the best Raffaele <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
Yes Bonnie.. As you see it has.. and I feel the same as you.. I won’t stay when this kinda garbage continues.. and it takes 2 or more to fight.. and it reflects badly on those who state they wish to support.. Stay in my email Bonnie… maybe someday those who don’t see what they themselves do hit 1.. hit 10 more.. how they have destroyed the *Support* of this group they all say they love.. they are not changeable.. and believe.. that they are justified by making others weaker in the long run and thus keeping support and the lonely from never healing in the long run.. just here for pity of them.. I personally am a healer and I believe you are also.. in this battle.. all healing now takes 10 steps backwards.. I am not (1) a destroyer of others in groups or teams or (2) someone who just seeks to keep other lonely people with them never growing inside and with me posting forever born of self pity. Pamela "Bonnie" <zan…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:19991204144432.18095.00000450@ng-ft1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed > the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back > seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, > but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much > of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not > understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of > their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies > of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have > never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I > felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them > because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that > are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it > takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help > myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are > getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and > stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are > somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come > here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do > know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe > these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My > question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the > group? > Bonnie
Response:
I left the group recently for a short time, but I came back because I missed the people, the caring and the support. But now all the old arguments are back seemingly taking the place of the support once given. Very few are posting, but there are some looking for help or simply support and understanding. Much of the understanding that was here is gone now. Some are new and may not understand what it is they see here now. Some may be seeing this as one of their last chances to reach out to another human. It seems as if the energies of the group are misdirected somewhat here. This is a support group. I have never been able to give the kind of support that I wanted to give, or that I felt in my heart. When I see others reaching out in pain I hurt for them because so much of what they feel I seem to know. I want to help the ones that are reaching, I want to reach back, but I find I am sorely missing whatever it takes to do that. How can I begin to help anyone else when I can’t help myself? I keep hitting brick walls in my own life and it seems those walls are getting harder and rougher everyday. A part of me wants to just give up and stop trying, stop everything. Where can those that feel like I do, or that are somehow lost in the dark go to find understanding and support now? When I come here now I find many of the very things I am running from in my life. I do know there are some valid and very important issues at stake here and maybe these do need to be addressed. It is not up to me to make that decision. My question is has the purpose of this group been lost in all the problems of the group? Bonnie
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Lonely
Leave a Comment
XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
TrackBack URL | RSS feed for comments on this post.