Lonely Loneliness

I'm a newbie here

Question:

Hi Mike, Maybe you are one of the people that is ok being alone? I guess not though, because it’s why you wrote the email. Are you depressed? May be why you just can’t seem to pick up the phone? Anyway, welcome to our little group! Wanda  : ) "Mike Peckitt" <m.peck…@home.com> wrote in message

news:96gj8.79382$xG.67486@news2.bloor.is… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. > I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know > why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at > work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find > myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my > reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? > Anyone else out there relate? > MP

Response:

Hi, Mike! Welcome to the bunch!:) I remember certain years where I occasinally woudl sit with the phone by me, decided to call soemone. But as I tried to, not one name or number would come to mind to call up, if I knew tons of persons. They were all collaegues or co-students, or even friends, but the friends were all persosn that woudl rather call me up when they needed a pep talk or some comforting and that did not seem much able to offer the same, or were not much present at all when all was fine. In other words I was the one they’d see when they had problems or were down, but that they forgot the second all went well…I remember soemtimes finding it then quite heavy, to be so determined to call, and to yet not really be able to think of anyone to call at all….that woudl ahve cared to go do soemthign together or even to have a conversation with me on anythign else than problems, and exclusively theirs. It then sure felt lonely in those moments. I also am someone that has no problem getting along with poeple and so on, and who makes friends easily with others. But I donlt really feel like gettign into one way friendships (?) or relationships, so I tend to prefer to stay alone unless I;d see soemthign woudl really have a chance to be both ways. Not just me being there for them in times of needs or hardships, but the other too, know what I mean? And I dunno, for now, I just prefer to be alone for some time. I guess I got not just "used to it":, but to appreciate the advantages it can have. For instance, I am between jobs right now. I amsure it is an easier thing to go through alone than feeling responsible for half the income not coming in..I also can have more time to focuss on job hunt out of being alone…So while I am alone, I try and concentrate on what is best done alone, or done faster, so that when that is done, maybe, some day, if I then feel like it, I can have less obstacles demanding time, and more time to invest in relatings. What I am lonely for I never found in relationships anyway. I remember my sister one day asking me, seing me single and not dating: -But …don’t you miss …tenderness??? Since she *is* married, I just returned it saying: -Don’t *YOU* miss tenderness…?;-) She just bowed her head and went "…heh…:(". What I meant was exactly that tenderness was not there more for the married/dating ones I knew…Save for a short moment when they meet. Then why bother and aim at relationships for tenderness anyway…?:) I dunno, I seem to find it quite overrated, this entire so called "romantic" relationship thing. I was for nearly three years without a phone, until December. I just staretd making a rare call here or there…Or getting one once  a month if so, since. Each time I am called it is someoen needing something. Each time I call them they start the conversation by "I was just about to leave". If it would not have been for the job hunt, I would not even have bothered about a phone, really:). Anyway:). I’m a bit on the weird side, so if I can relate for having been where youa re now some eyars ago, I guess I ended up just liking the idea of being alone, and realized that in all the relationships I had, I left in a worse state/situation than when I got in, where I just woke up one day facing it. Tired of paying the bf a mortgag. Tired of payign their credit cards. Tired of paying their expenses on top of mine. I am not made for relationships. I give way too much, and always am the one ending up in the red….Where I yet don’t find my way of being wrong and then do not wish to become more demanding or insisting for a better balance in a relationship. And since I know I’d always end up losing of myself each time, well, I’d rather stay alone:), and think of getting my own mortgage, and my own things and having my own life, for a change. Anyway. Glad you joined, and see you around, Chloe  "Mike Peckitt" (m.peck…@home.com) writes: > So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. > I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know > why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at > work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find > myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my > reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? > Anyone else out there relate? > MP

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Response:

So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? Anyone else out there relate? MP

Response:

yup Nik Mike Peckitt <m.peck…@home.com> wrote in message

news:96gj8.79382$xG.67486@news2.bloor.is… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. > I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know > why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at > work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find > myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my > reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? > Anyone else out there relate? > MP

Response:

On Tue, 12 Mar 2002 05:11:33 GMT, "Mike Peckitt" <m.peck…@home.com> wrote: >So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. >I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know >why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at >work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find >myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my >reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? >Anyone else out there relate? >MP

welcome , and i hope this group , does everything for you , that it has done for me .

Response:

Yer, he’s (?) learnt not to type in caps(yell) every time he sends a message! — Wanda aka Willow The missing and definitely not to be taken seriously under any circumstances garden gnome http://www.2000cn.com.au/~willow ~~faeries are able to fly because they take themselves lightly~ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -% <f…@pris.ca> wrote in message news:3c8d8f92.26486910@news.cis.dfn.de… > On Tue, 12 Mar 2002 05:11:33 GMT, "Mike Peckitt" <m.peck…@home.com> > wrote: > >So I won’t get all dewy-eyed first time out. > >I suffer from loneliness. Odd thing is that it’s self-imposed. I don’t know > >why I don’t make more of an effort socially – I get along with people at > >work and out in the world. I don’t think I’m a masochist  but I do find > >myself sitting around the house feeling lonely with my phone within my > >reach. Why don’t I just pick it up? > >Anyone else out there relate? > >MP > welcome , and i hope this group , > does everything for you , > that it has done for me .

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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