Lonely Loneliness

Me, the fat, lonely child–can you relate?

Question:

When I was first 8 years old, my mom put me on a diet. She guarded the refrigerator so I didn’t get a chance to eat the cheeses, bacon, potato pancakes that I loved. Chocolate candies were, of course, forbidden, as was chocolate milk. I ate the *right* way at home. Meat. Vegetables. Fruits. My own food feelings were ignored–dare I say "Of course"? When I was away from home, I ate all the ice cream and candies I could afford. It was fun. It felt like I was freeing myself from my parent’s overbearing influence–I have a Jewish mom, and you simply don’t know what "overbearing" can mean unless you, too, have a Jewish mom:) Besides, I needed the comfort food could provide when I was lonely. Which was often. I had all kinds of confused thoughts and contradictory feelings, which I didn’t know how to share with anyone without exploding. Of course, I knew why I had no friends. My mom made that very clear. "Fat people are always lonely, Mike." I guess my fat was a kind of stigmata, a brand I put onto my forehead, that informed people that I was not worthy of their notice. As time went by, I came to accept that my loneliness was eternal. I reveled in it. My loneliness proved that I was different, better, than others. I took to not showering regularly and looking unkempt in order to notify potential friends that I was "off-bounds" in spite of my continued loneliness. Naturally, as my life became more and more constricted socially, I needed more and more ice cream and candy to comfort me. I recall looking out the schoolyards when young. And seeing others there, seemingly cheerful, animated, and wishing I were among them…sigh… I wonder if others here, interested in losing weight, can relate to my childhood plight? best regards, Mike Mike Rael, MS, instructional technology listowner, self-esteem-self-help owner, COACHING BY PHONE — Mike  Rael                                                                       listowner, self-esteem-self-help Message: subscribe self-esteem-self-help "If you have a serious, ongoing problem, you will be referred to a therapist of your choice. The listowner, while experienced in these areas, is not a licensed therapist."

Response:

  Of course, I knew why I had no friends. My mom made that very clear. "Fat   people are always lonely, Mike." Thanks for sharing.  I think this "mother" (if she exists at all except in the imagination of a fevered copywriter and would-be spammer) makes Joan Crawford sound like June Cleaver.  However, it’s just a pile of bullshit trying to suck in that small minority of fat people who might think this way about themselves occasionally. Listen, moron, do you actually think that people here don’t recognize this kind of bullpucky for what it really is?  That spamming weasels like you haven’t come through here hundreds of times before trying to pass off their nonsense as "support"?  This ain’t the classified pages of some third-rate magazine or newspaper you’re attempting to advertise in. It’s old, tired, and you’re not at all convincing.    I guess my fat was a kind of stigmata, a brand I put onto my forehead, You mean "stigma".  The word "stigmata" is plural.    that informed people that I was not worthy of their notice. Sob!    As time went by, I came to accept that my loneliness was eternal. I    reveled in it. My loneliness proved that I was different, better, than    others. I took to not showering regularly and looking unkempt in order to    notify potential friends that I was "off-bounds" in spite of my continued    loneliness. Suuure.  Fat people are unkempt and overweight.  I’m with you, man!    Naturally, as my life became more and more constricted socially, I needed    more and more ice cream and candy to comfort me.    I recall looking out the schoolyards when young. And seeing others there,    seemingly cheerful, animated, and wishing I were among them…sigh…    I wonder if others here, interested in losing weight, can relate to my    childhood plight? You’re full of shit.  Now get the fuck out this newsgroup. — Steve Dyer

Response:

Steve,         Why are you so bitter?         I’m just sharing from the heart. best regards, Mike Mike Rael, MS, instructional technology listowner, self-esteem-self-help owner, COACHING BY PHONE, the rapid way to raise reality-based self-esteem

:   Of course, I knew why I had no friends. My mom made that very clear. "Fat :   people are always lonely, Mike." : Thanks for sharing.  I think this "mother" (if she exists at all except : in the imagination of a fevered copywriter and would-be spammer) makes : Joan Crawford sound like June Cleaver.  However, it’s just a pile of : bullshit trying to suck in that small minority of fat people who might : think this way about themselves occasionally. : Listen, moron, do you actually think that people here don’t recognize : this kind of bullpucky for what it really is?  That spamming weasels like : you haven’t come through here hundreds of times before trying to pass off : their nonsense as "support"?  This ain’t the classified pages of some : third-rate magazine or newspaper you’re attempting to advertise in. : It’s old, tired, and you’re not at all convincing. :    I guess my fat was a kind of stigmata, a brand I put onto my forehead, : You mean "stigma".  The word "stigmata" is plural. :    that informed people that I was not worthy of their notice. : Sob! :    As time went by, I came to accept that my loneliness was eternal. I :    reveled in it. My loneliness proved that I was different, better, than :    others. I took to not showering regularly and looking unkempt in order to :    notify potential friends that I was "off-bounds" in spite of my continued :    loneliness. : Suuure.  Fat people are unkempt and overweight.  I’m with you, man! :    Naturally, as my life became more and more constricted socially, I needed :    more and more ice cream and candy to comfort me. :    I recall looking out the schoolyards when young. And seeing others there, :    seemingly cheerful, animated, and wishing I were among them…sigh… :    I wonder if others here, interested in losing weight, can relate to my :    childhood plight? : You’re full of shit.  Now get the fuck out this newsgroup. : — : Steve Dyer — Mike  Rael                                                                       listowner, self-esteem-self-help Message: subscribe self-esteem-self-help "If you have a serious, ongoing problem, you will be referred to a therapist of your choice. The listowner, while experienced in these areas, is not a licensed therapist."

Response:

Maybe Steve got a lump of coal in his stocking?? Ken – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Steve,    Why are you so bitter?    I’m just sharing from the heart. best regards, Mike Mike Rael, MS, instructional technology

Response:

You’re full of shit.  Now get the fuck out this newsgroup.

Now I cannot speak for the rest of the folks here and last I knew you were not GOD of this newsgroup with the right to kick people out. I also think this whole message was in VERY poor taste and that this last comment was not only unnecessary but also rude and way out of line. I do not appreciate having to read curse words and I for one wish you would refrain from such language and I think you owe any and everyone who was offended by your language an apology.. Now for the REAL reason I am writing.. I do not know the origonal poster but I did read the message and let me tell you there are such parents in this world. My Mom for one example. I was told numerous times and numerous ways by my mom how no man would ever want me, how I was not good for nothing, not amount to anything etc etc etc all because I was FAT.. I was in 9th grade and I weighted 160lbs.I weighted that straight through high school. Yes maybe that is a tad on the heavy side but I have a large fram and I doubt there is any chance of ever getting to that weight ever again. I think it was actually a fine weight for me and if I had stayed that weight all through my life I would have been fine. Shoot my daughter (16yrs) saw a picture of me when I weighted 210 and said WOW ma you are skinny I thought you said you were always fat… It made me cry to hear her say that, to think of all the abuse I went through as a kid for being that weight and now she says I was skinny looking… Currently I weight a little more than that but actually wear one size smaller than I did back than. I guess that might mean I have more muscle on me now than I did than.. But my mom treated me like I was the most disgusti8ng thing on the face of this planet. I hate my mom to this day for the way she treated me and I am not a spammer and I have been on the internet for many years. Please do not be so quick to judge people. The poster may or maynot be a spammer.. But you can image what you just did to that person with your cruel words????? A person in sooo much pain.. Yes there is a posability that the post was a spam but in this country we are presumbed innocent until PROVEN guilty. Could you please treat people on here as human beings with feelings and give them a little respect…

Response:

Yeah Steve, I didn’t think he was spamming…..  I can’t believe how hostile you were.  I have known mothers like Mike’s.  Mine wasn’t fortunately, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Response:

Thanks, Cheryl:)         Some people around here don’t seem to grasp that people can wear different hats.         Sometimes I wear the hat of the self-esteem coach who wants to make an honest living doing a good job.         Sometimes I wear the hat of a person with my own pain that I’m sharing. best regards, Mike Mike Rael, MS, instructional technology listowner, self-esteem-self-help owner, COACHING BY PHONE, the rapid way to raise reality-based self-esteem

 The poster may or maynot be a spammer.. But you can image what you just : did to that person with your cruel words????? A person in sooo much pain.. Yes : there is a posability that the post was a spam but in this country we are : presumbed innocent until PROVEN guilty. Could you please treat people on here as : human beings with feelings and give them a little respect… — Mike  Rael                                                                       listowner, self-esteem-self-help Message: subscribe self-esteem-self-help "If you have a serious, ongoing problem, you will be referred to a therapist of your choice. The listowner, while experienced in these areas, is not a licensed therapist."

Response:

I gotta agree with Steve.  This guys sounds awfully trite.  I’m trying to empathize, but I simply can’t ‘feel his pain.’   Maybe its that sig geting in the way ……

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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