My New Year's Resolutions
Question:
In article <20000101133202.19357.00000…@ng-fq1.aol.com>, jlft6…@aol.com (JLFT6376) wrote: > I saw someone post their New Year’s Resoultions, and I thought, what agreat > idea!
It is indeed. Mine are very similar to yours: 1) To get a job/make money. 2) Get out of the house more often (the new year got off to a nice start, in that respect). 3) Find my own place to live. 4) Ask someone out (or be asked out). But if things turn out differently, and I’m happy with them, that’s fine. — Joe Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
I saw someone post their New Year’s Resoultions, and I thought, what agreat idea! Here are mine: 1) Find a new job. I need to work in an environment that offers more human contact. Right now I’m stuck in an office where it’s just my boss, the secretary, and myself. The only contact I have with others is over the phone, which isn’t much. As I look back on my time in my current job, I realize that my shyness led me to where I am now in that 1) I strayed away from looking at bigger companies to work for becuase I was nervous about the human element and 2) I was afraid to say no when I was offered the job. It took me way too long to realize this, but my job right now is so unstimulating and so damn lonely that the longer I stay there, the more my social skills will waste away and the worse I will feel about myself. At best, a job with a bigger company will open myself to a larger social network than I’ve ever had before. Or, if nothing else, working for a larger company will at least give me used to meeting new people and become comfortable in getting to know them. 2) Get out of my apartment more. I’ve come to the realization that the worst thing I can do is go out and do something "just to meet people". If I do that, I’ll only make myself too nervous about the whole thing and end up walking away disappointed. A better approach is to go out there and just focus on having fun. 3) Ask someone out. I’ve never had an easy time talking to women, and I believe the best thing for me to do is to attack my fears head on, and also realize that if I get shot down, it won’t be the end of the world, just a learning experience. I heard someone say, maybe in this newsgroup, that men are attracted to women that they find pretty, and women are attracted to men that they can communicate with. As a guy, this actually makes me feel good in that many women will accept me for my physical faults as long as we can find some level of comfort between each other. For me that is the key, to find someone whom I’m comfortable with rather than being 100% hung up on looks, which is probably another reason for my being shy. This probably won’t be a magic pill for my life, then again, loneliness sucks. 3) Become a student in the art of conversation. I know this sounds cheesy, but for me to make some kind of change in my life, i need to work on this aspect. I need to realize that I’m a smart, sometimes funny person and that I’m more interesting than I give myself credit for, not the social idiot I make myself out to be. I also need to realize that I have enough life experience to draw form and that everyone has some kind of story about their lives that they would be more than happy to share with me. I just need to find out what these stories are. Happy New Year, Jim.
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness Lonely
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