Lonely Loneliness

What NOT to do to get over loneliness…

Question:

Dear SSV, I’m sorry for your feeling so bad. First and foremost, since you mentioned it, you’re to dealing with suicidary thoughts. You’ve better to take care of this. Have always ready some emergency phone numbers, for instance a local anti-suicide hot-line. Also, but possibly you do this already, a few email addresses of people whom you trust and may help you to feel a little better. Remember that Usenet postings may be late. As to your present issue, this is what happens often with on-line relationships. I usually consider them OK for making friends, but for romance looks, as perceived, have their importance. Which does *not* mean that you’ve to give up, however you think to be "ugly", or even if you actually are.  Sure, being handsome is a bless and gives a real advantage, while the contrary lowens your odds, but that’s it. Perception of physical appearence is rather subjective. Furhermore, chatrooms have not a very good reputation. You may be lucky, but when seeking on-line relatioships you may better consider NGs or reply to homepages. If you ask several people, who has been in the Internet for some time, they’ll probably be able to tell you of both good and bad experiences. Best wishes from R. <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> In article <378F31FE.A785…@ufl.edu>,   Super Saiyan Vegeta <gator…@ufl.edu> wrote: <snip> >  Now I was having real suicidal thoughts last night, > and I’m feeling really bad.  I hate that no matter how hard I try, or > where I look, women don’t want to be with me. > I’m done with those stupid chat lines.  I feel so bad!

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Response:

Posted and Mailed Super Saiyan Vegeta wrote: > Dear Group, > I know I had come in here maybe two weeks ago and said that I was doing > slightly better.  I am no longer doing ~slightly~ better.  I’m actually > quiet worse than before…

    I have read Barbara’s response to you and I do agree with her.  The only point that I would mention to you is for your own safety.  I would tell you that as a parent, I find it too great an age difference between 17 and 22, but also, there are laws that name her "Child" at that age and you "Adult" at your age.  This can be and has been taken to extremes by some parents and the young man convicted and imprisoned for *any* sexual contact.  That’s why the term, "jail bait" is tossed around so.  Even with her consent, touching her intimately can get you jail time in many states, let alone anything more.  So, just be careful, ok?     I’m truly sorry that you’ve had to go through this.  If you have need, my mailbox also is open to you.  Jae —      "Freedom is the right to be wrong….                       Not the right to do wrong……"                          —John G. Riefenbaker

Response:

Not that I think it matters to you in the least, but I am glad to see a post by you that offers good information, advice and true support.  Jae – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -le…@my-deja.com wrote: > Dear SSV, > I’m sorry for your feeling so bad. > First and foremost, since you mentioned it, you’re to dealing > with suicidary thoughts. You’ve better to take care of this. > Have always ready some emergency phone numbers, for instance a > local anti-suicide hot-line. Also, but possibly you do this already, > a few email addresses of people whom you trust and may help you to > feel a little better. Remember that Usenet postings may be late. > As to your present issue, this is what happens often with > on-line relationships. I usually consider them OK for making > friends, but for romance looks, as perceived, have their > importance. > Which does *not* mean that you’ve to give up, however you > think to be "ugly", or even if you actually are.  Sure, being > handsome is a bless and gives a real advantage, while the > contrary lowens your odds, but that’s it. Perception of physical > appearence is rather subjective. > Furhermore, chatrooms have not a very good reputation. You may > be lucky, but when seeking on-line relatioships you may better > consider NGs or reply to homepages. If you ask several people, > who has been in the Internet for some time, they’ll probably > be able to tell you of both good and bad experiences. > Best wishes from > R. > <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> > In article <378F31FE.A785…@ufl.edu>, >   Super Saiyan Vegeta <gator…@ufl.edu> wrote: > <snip> > >  Now I was having real suicidal thoughts last night, > > and I’m feeling really bad.  I hate that no matter how hard I try, or > > where I look, women don’t want to be with me. > > I’m done with those stupid chat lines.  I feel so bad! > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.

–      "Freedom is the right to be wrong….                       Not the right to do wrong……"                          —John G. Riefenbaker

Response:

Dear Jae, I’ve been honored by your reply. A couple of lines from you may be more important than a long post. I’m now ready to give you credit of goodwill for peace among us regs, letting behind the past. Not such easy, as experience, too, has shown before. But worths a try. It has been noble of you to do the first step. Let me now apologize, personally to you, for anything I wrote that you’ve found hurtful. I’m sorry, Jae. What I’ve recently told about Ric, may be true about you as well. I don’t doubt that your activity for support, from February (?) 1998, has been impressive. I know that certain side activities, like the creation of webpages or posting stuff, as well as crossposting, happen to be controversial. I still hope to persuade you and everybody that, whatever is done in that direction, will definitively not be a danger for ASL. Your dedication, as well as that of many others here, will always be the best shield against any distruption, no matter the source. Best wishes Raffaele In article <378F75F6.88E4E…@ccms.net>,   LadyJae <Lady…@ccms.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Not that I think it matters to you in the least, but I am glad to see a > post by you that offers good information, advice and true support. Jae > le…@my-deja.com wrote: > > Dear SSV, > > I’m sorry for your feeling so bad. > > First and foremost, since you mentioned it, you’re to dealing > > with suicidary thoughts. You’ve better to take care of this. > > Have always ready some emergency phone numbers, for instance a > > local anti-suicide hot-line. Also, but possibly you do this already, > > a few email addresses of people whom you trust and may help you to > > feel a little better. Remember that Usenet postings may be late. > > As to your present issue, this is what happens often with > > on-line relationships. I usually consider them OK for making > > friends, but for romance looks, as perceived, have their > > importance. > > Which does *not* mean that you’ve to give up, however you > > think to be "ugly", or even if you actually are.  Sure, being > > handsome is a bless and gives a real advantage, while the > > contrary lowens your odds, but that’s it. Perception of physical > > appearence is rather subjective. > > Furhermore, chatrooms have not a very good reputation. You may > > be lucky, but when seeking on-line relatioships you may better > > consider NGs or reply to homepages. If you ask several people, > > who has been in the Internet for some time, they’ll probably > > be able to tell you of both good and bad experiences. > > Best wishes from > > R. > > <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> > > In article <378F31FE.A785…@ufl.edu>, > >   Super Saiyan Vegeta <gator…@ufl.edu> wrote: > > <snip> > > >  Now I was having real suicidal thoughts last night, > > > and I’m feeling really bad.  I hate that no matter how hard I try, or > > > where I look, women don’t want to be with me. > > > I’m done with those stupid chat lines.  I feel so bad! > > Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ > > Share what you know. Learn what you don’t. > — >      "Freedom is the right to be wrong…. >                       Not the right to do wrong……" >                          —John G. Riefenbaker

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Share what you know. Learn what you don’t.

Response:

>Best wishes >Raffaele

Frans

Response:

On Fri, 16 Jul 1999 07:26:04 -0700, "Barbara" <bgr…@intouch.bc.ca> wrote: >then we would all be living a MUCH different lifestyle.  The world would >also be a very scary place to live,… dont you think?  No one caring for >the person you really are,… people only loving you until you became ill, >or gained a little weight, or didnt wear the "in" thing.

Do you really think that this is not the way it is?  It just seems so odd a thing to say.

Response:

"les gens qui ne t’aiment que jusqu’a ce que tu sois malade"…. Vini…Vidi…Meurtris…. Chloe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -earthblind, starbound (le…@mindspring.spamfuscation.com) writes: > On Fri, 16 Jul 1999 07:26:04 -0700, "Barbara" <bgr…@intouch.bc.ca> wrote: >>then we would all be living a MUCH different lifestyle.  The world would >>also be a very scary place to live,… dont you think?  No one caring for >>the person you really are,… people only loving you until you became ill, >>or gained a little weight, or didnt wear the "in" thing. > Do you really think that this is not the way it is?  It just seems so odd a > thing to say.

Response:

Jenn wrote: > I just wanted to say Thank you to everyone who was there for me the other day > when I flipped out (again) (re: Vent [long & boring] ) …sometimes I am not > always sure what to say in response to your posts …I take them in but I can’t > smile or hug you and you can’t see my face to know I’m listening…..If you > only knew how much your words and support do to make everything so much > better…even with all the upheaval that this group sometimes goes through, I > always know that I can count on my friends….and I will  always do my best to > be there for them too… > {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

    You already are here for us, Jenn.  <smile>  And you don’t always have to answer us, either.  Except to let us know you’re "not too bad off"!!!  <grin> Hugs, darlin’…..Jae —       "Knowledge makes obsolete the inequities………..                    That ignorance and prejudice justify."

Response:

I just wanted to say Thank you to everyone who was there for me the other day when I flipped out (again) (re: Vent [long & boring] ) …sometimes I am not always sure what to say in response to your posts …I take them in but I can’t smile or hug you and you can’t see my face to know I’m listening…..If you only knew how much your words and support do to make everything so much better…even with all the upheaval that this group sometimes goes through, I always know that I can count on my friends….and I will  always do my best to be there for them too… {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Regards, Jenn http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html  - – - – - A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

>    You already are here for us, Jenn.  <smile>  And you don’t always have to >answer us, either.  Except to let us know you’re "not too bad off"!!!  <grin>

I’m not too bad off! <laugh> Thank you, Jae..{{{{HUGS}}}} Regards, Jenn http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html  - – - – - A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

Thank you, Jennifer… I try to be here for my friends, as my friends have been here for me… as you have been here for us… I know I seldom have the words I search for, to try and offer comfort… but even in my most feeble words, I do hope my caring is expressed. I do try, Jenn, but I know that I come across as "stiff" sometimes, because I am struggling to find the right words… kinda like now… (smile) But I think I am a warm person, in real life, and I try to give that warmth in my words… sorry for babbling… all of this to simply say… You can come "flip out" with me, (us), anytime… (smile)                       and warm hugs, to you, Jenn,                       Michael In article <19990718230515.25409.00001…@ng-ci1.aol.com>, jenev…@aol.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(Jenn) wrote: >I just wanted to say Thank you to everyone who was there for me the other day >when I flipped out (again) (re: Vent [long & boring] ) …sometimes I am not >always sure what to say in response to your posts …I take them in but I can’t >smile or hug you and you can’t see my face to know I’m listening…..If you >only knew how much your words and support do to make everything so much >better…even with all the upheaval that this group sometimes goes through, I >always know that I can count on my friends….and I will  always do my best to >be there for them too… >{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUGS  }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} >Regards, Jenn >http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html > – - – - – >A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels >raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

P&M Earthblind: I guess I can only speak from my personal life.  I had a relationship earlier in life, and yes, I could say that it would have been a scary life if it had continued.  I am thankful that it didnt. I have a very wonderful person in my life who is still by my side, even as my health conditions get worse, and he has made my life a much more liveable place to be.  I guess that is why my loneliness is difficult to understand sometimes.  When I am having to take medication that keep me awake, and I sit here alone, and it is 3am in the morning, I do not have anyone to talk to to try and make it easier.  No one to talk to about the fear, or the stress that is associated with chronic illness.  I sleep usually during the day — unless I am held in that fog of no sleep, and then, while he is away at work,… I am still alone.  I have to be careful about going out by myself because of everything so I sit here and work on the pc to spend my day, and talk with people here. I digress in the actual response to your question. No, I dont believe that it is the way it is, or the way it has to be.  There is still good people out there — it just takes so much longer to find them. Too many hurt people looking for answers. Thanks for your reply. — ************ Barbara Tirracamba "live and let live" ************ earthblind, starbound wrote in message

<37942a93.38124…@news.mindspring.com>… :On Fri, 16 Jul 1999 07:26:04 -0700, "Barbara" <bgr…@intouch.bc.ca> wrote: : :>then we would all be living a MUCH different lifestyle.  The world would :>also be a very scary place to live,… dont you think?  No one caring for :>the person you really are,… people only loving you until you became ill, :>or gained a little weight, or didnt wear the "in" thing. : o you really think that this is not the way it is?  It just seems so odd a :thing to say. :

Response:

> I know I seldom have the words I >search for, to try and offer comfort… but even in my >most feeble words, I do hope my caring is expressed. >I do try, Jenn, but I know that I come across as "stiff" >sometimes, because I am struggling to find the right >words… kinda like now… (smile)

Oh, I disagree, Michael I think you always have the words right at hand even when you think you don’t and you have never ever come across to me as being "stiff"….always warm and comforting ….. >You can come "flip out" with me, >(us), anytime… (smile)

I will definitely be taking you up on that. Dont say I didn’t warn you though <laugh> Regards, Jenn http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html  - – - – - A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

I agree with Jenn, Michael. I’m always jealous of the warm way you put your thoughts and feelings into words for us. Hugs, Nanny — Don’t be reckless with other peoples hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. To reply by email remove 4cats from my address. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Jenn wrote in message <19990719072959.06022.00000…@ng-ft1.aol.com>… >> I know I seldom have the words I >>search for, to try and offer comfort… but even in my >>most feeble words, I do hope my caring is expressed. >>I do try, Jenn, but I know that I come across as "stiff" >>sometimes, because I am struggling to find the right >>words… kinda like now… (smile) >Oh, I disagree, Michael I think you always have the words right at hand even >when you think you don’t and you have never ever come across to me as being >"stiff"….always warm and comforting ….. >>You can come "flip out" with me, >>(us), anytime… (smile) >I will definitely be taking you up on that. Dont say I didn’t warn you though >:P <laugh> >Regards, Jenn >http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html > – - – - – >A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels >raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

Again, thank you, Jennifer… that was very kind, and "sweet" of you to say… (smile)                               warm hugs,                               Michael P.S. Btw, "sweet" is a good thing… (smile) In article <19990719072959.06022.00000…@ng-ft1.aol.com>, jenev…@aol.com – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(Jenn) wrote: >> I know I seldom have the words I >>search for, to try and offer comfort… but even in my >>most feeble words, I do hope my caring is expressed. >>I do try, Jenn, but I know that I come across as "stiff" >>sometimes, because I am struggling to find the right >>words… kinda like now… (smile) >Oh, I disagree, Michael I think you always have the words right at hand even >when you think you don’t and you have never ever come across to me as being >"stiff"….always warm and comforting ….. >>You can come "flip out" with me, >>(us), anytime… (smile) >I will definitely be taking you up on that. Dont say I didn’t warn you though >:P <laugh> >Regards, Jenn >http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html > – - – - – >A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels >raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

Aw, jeez, Nanny… are you all trying to make me blush, or cry?… or blush and cry?… (smile) Thank you… that was very kind of you to say, and very nice to hear… (smile)… to me, kind words from a friend, as always warm, and comforting…                           warm hugs,                           Michael In article <7mvm30$87…@news.worldonline.nl>, "Nanny" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<nan…@4catscd-online.nl> wrote: >I agree with Jenn, Michael. I’m always jealous of the warm way you put your >thoughts and feelings into words for us. >Hugs, Nanny

Response:

>Again, thank you, Jennifer… that was very kind, and >"sweet" of you to say… (smile) >                              warm hugs, >                              Michael >P.S. Btw, "sweet" is a good thing… (smile)

I agree, Michael ….I’ve changed my mind about "sweet" – Regards, Jenn http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html  - – - – - A friend is always good to have, but a lover’s kiss is better than angels raining down on me. – Dave Matthews

Response:

Dear Jenn…. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} We all need someone at some point, and that is one thing so very special about the people here in ASL.  You’ve given much support to others…and it feels good to be able to return that support when needed. Hugs and Smiles, Gina "Everybody hurts…Take comfort in your friends. Everybody hurts…Don’t throw your hand. If you feel like you’re alone… No, no, no, you are not alone…"             — R.E.M.                          

Response:

>Dear Jenn…. >{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} >We all need someone at some point, and that is one thing so very special >about >the people here in ASL.  You’ve given much support to others…and it feels >good to be able to return that support when needed.

Dear Gina: Thank you so much for such kind words….             {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}} Regards, Jenn http://members.aol.com/jeneve23/enter.html  - – - – - We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.-Oscar Wilde

Response:

Raffael,     I do not wish to be rude or ungracious.  I wish to be honest and truthful as always.  I am surprised at your apology.  I’m not sure I believe it is genuine or if I believe it is simply another ploy of yours.  To put it bluntly, you have given me no reason to trust you and plenty of reason not to trust you.     Those couple of lines I posted in response to your excellent advice to "S" were made first because I did think the advice and information good and also something that no one else had thought of and by carrying your words, others that might need that advice also might see it in case they were no longer reading your posts or in case their servers were not carrying yours.     The second reason is because I wish to encourage posts like this from you instead of what I have termed "troll posts".     I did not do it as a peace offering.  To have peace between two people, there must be trust.  I do not trust you.     You are wrong about me forgetting the past.  I forget nothing.  I forgive nothing.  That is simply how I am.  I can, however, co-exist with you on this group and stay the hell out of your hair if you stay the hell out of mine.  I am also perfectly capable of answering your posts whether in agreement or disagreement politely and without name calling.     I am not "noble".  I would simply rather do what I do best here with what time and energy I have and that is to offer and receive support and caring as I am able to.  I would prefer not to spend my time looking for what people are firing what shots at me or those I am caring of.     As for the date of my being a part of this group, it is not important. However, I did not begin posting under a name that you would recognize to be able to pinpoint it and I lurked here on and off for quite some time before my first post.  I, myself, have no idea of the date of my first post, so you may well be correct.     I have stated here recently that I have no objection whatsoever to a website associated with asl.  I think that it could be a good thing, but not if used as a "control" or a "punishment" to some members of this group as I have seen discussed in the archives of the Webmaster’s Forum.  For that reason, though I have no objection to it at all, I will not be a part of it in any manner.     I will continue to state my views on Crossposting.  You don’t have to agree with them.  You have caused trouble by using crossposting and you’ve attemtped to cause trouble with it.  I am adamantly against it being used for those reasons.     If your apology is indeed genuine and your desire for peace also genuine, then I give you credit for taking this step.  It cannot have been easy if it was done with sincerity.     I would be most happy with a truce at this time between us.  In reading this response to you, I feel that it has a cold and hard "tone" to it.  I can do nothing to soften that or it would not be truth that is written in these words.  I do not wish to make you angry and have you start all that nonsense again, but I can be nothing less than what I am and that is honest in my feelings and words and distrustful, suspicious and experienced in being betrayed.  Jae – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -le…@my-deja.com wrote: > Dear Jae, > I’ve been honored by your reply. > A couple of lines from you may be more important than > a long post. > I’m now ready to give you credit of goodwill for peace > among us regs, letting behind the past. > Not such easy, as experience, too, has shown before. > But worths a try. > It has been noble of you to do the first step. Let > me now apologize, personally to you, for anything > I wrote that you’ve found hurtful. I’m sorry, Jae. > What I’ve recently told about Ric, may be true about > you as well. I don’t doubt that your activity for > support, from February (?) 1998, has been impressive. > I know that certain side activities, like the creation > of webpages or posting stuff, as well as crossposting, > happen to be controversial. > I still hope to persuade you and everybody that, > whatever is done in that direction, will definitively > not be a danger for ASL. > Your dedication, as well as that of many others here, > will always be the best shield against any distruption, > no matter the source. > Best wishes > Raffaele

–      "Freedom is the right to be wrong….                       Not the right to do wrong……"                          —John G. Riefenbaker

Response:

Dear Group, I know I had come in here maybe two weeks ago and said that I was doing slightly better.  I am no longer doing ~slightly~ better.  I’m actually quiet worse than before… I started ‘chatting’ on the chat lines to look for a friend.  I went to Yahoo and looked up ‘Romance: user created rooms’ and found "Da Florida room."  I was chatting up a storm and was happy that I was finally talking to people.  It made me feel good.  Until each successive day ground by and the chat room started to strip me of my humanity.  I could no longer be considered the same person, and I was feeling worse and worse about what I was doing.  I wasn’t doing any wrong, but I always felt that I was.  I felt bad about how I would enter into this world and would neglect my real life.  I guess you could say I felt very guilty about what I was doing.  Then I was about to leave one day and this girl named ‘mandi’ stopped me and ‘personal messaged’ me to ask me whether I lived in Gainesville.  Well, I go to the University of Florida so I said that I did. And that’s when it started.  I, like a complete idiot, gave her my phone number because she lived in Gainesville and I was lonely.  She called. We talked.  A week later I started feeling VERY attached to her.  I can’t explain it.  My emotions got away with me. Then we met…at her house.  We talked for about 40 minutes and then she asked me to leave because she feared her Dad would get home.  We talked about stupid stuff like computers and stuff.  It was nothing bad or something I should be worried about.  At the time, I thought I was being super nice.  She was 17, not like 14 or something.  That’s not wrong is it.  I’m only 22.  Anyway, we I got back I went to the chat line and she didn’t want to talk to me.  She said she needed to get a telephone call.  Then later that night she told me that she decided to move back to Wisconsin in two weeks (she was spending the summer in Florida and was deciding whether to stay here or go back to Wisc. for the next year)  and that it would be better if I not go out with her on dates and stuff because she didn’t want to get involved. Then last night she logged onto the chat room and didn’t want to talk to me at all.  I liked her so much.  The only time she really talked to me after we met was when she said that some other guy in the chat line had a ’sexy body’ and that she didn’t know what she felt about me. I know she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because I’m ugly.  She had these visions of this super hunk guy on the other side of the line and I didn’t fit the bill.  She liked talking to me sooo much untill she saw what I looked like.  Now I was having real suicidal thoughts last night, and I’m feeling really bad.  I hate that no matter how hard I try, or where I look, women don’t want to be with me. I’m done with those stupid chat lines.  I feel so bad!

Response:

P&M Oh dear. I am SO sorry to hear this.  I am often on the chat lines, and this kind of thing happens all too often, and I so sorry that you have been treated like this. From my experience, therefore my opinion,…. many young ladies do perceive the "perfect:" man on the other side of the screen and tend to live in that fantasy, until reality hits them in one way or another.  Sexy bodies — honey — if that was all it took for a man to meet the needs of a woman, then we would all be living a MUCH different lifestyle.  The world would also be a very scary place to live,… dont you think?  No one caring for the person you really are,… people only loving you until you became ill, or gained a little weight, or didnt wear the "in" thing. I am sorry I was not on line to be a shoulder for you last night.  I will let you know that I am in the chat rooms all the time, and I enjoy "casual" conversations with many, many people,… and several from this group.  It CAN be a way to get some relief for loneliness — but it depends on your intentions.  You can start great friendships with people, but you must be aware that yes, many have that "vision of grandure" for the person on the other side of the screen. Please try and smile…. just a little bit…… I have been in your shoes too.  If you are interested,… ask me to tell you the story about a man named Jerry.  You will laugh along with me and realize that you did just fine.  I dont mind you share the laugh either.  It did take sometime for me to be able to do it myself. If you should need someone to talk to, my mailbox is always open to you.  I can not change what has happened, but maybe you and I can make some sense out of it, and you can have a better day.  Until that time that you should have need of me, be safe and take care of yourself.  You are needed.  How do I know….. just call it a strong hunch !!!!  =) — ************ Barbara Tirracamba "live and let live" ************ Super Saiyan Vegeta wrote in message <378F31FE.A785…@ufl.edu>…

ear Group, : :I know I had come in here maybe two weeks ago and said that I was doing :slightly better.  I am no longer doing ~slightly~ better.  I’m actually :quiet worse than before… : :I started ‘chatting’ on the chat lines to look for a friend.  I went to :Yahoo and looked up ‘Romance: user created rooms’ and found "Da Florida :room."  I was chatting up a storm and was happy that I was finally :talking to people.  It made me feel good.  Until each successive day :ground by and the chat room started to strip me of my humanity.  I could :no longer be considered the same person, and I was feeling worse and :worse about what I was doing.  I wasn’t doing any wrong, but I always :felt that I was.  I felt bad about how I would enter into this world and :would neglect my real life.  I guess you could say I felt very guilty :about what I was doing.  Then I was about to leave one day and this girl :named ‘mandi’ stopped me and ‘personal messaged’ me to ask me whether I :lived in Gainesville.  Well, I go to the University of Florida so I said :that I did. : :And that’s when it started.  I, like a complete idiot, gave her my phone :number because she lived in Gainesville and I was lonely.  She called. :We talked.  A week later I started feeling VERY attached to her.  I :can’t explain it.  My emotions got away with me. : :Then we met…at her house.  We talked for about 40 minutes and then she :asked me to leave because she feared her Dad would get home.  We talked :about stupid stuff like computers and stuff.  It was nothing bad or :something I should be worried about.  At the time, I thought I was being :super nice.  She was 17, not like 14 or something.  That’s not wrong is :it.  I’m only 22.  Anyway, we I got back I went to the chat line and she :didn’t want to talk to me.  She said she needed to get a telephone :call.  Then later that night she told me that she decided to move back :to Wisconsin in two weeks (she was spending the summer in Florida and :was deciding whether to stay here or go back to Wisc. for the next :year)  and that it would be better if I not go out with her on dates and :stuff because she didn’t want to get involved. Then last night she :logged onto the chat room and didn’t want to talk to me at all.  I liked :her so much.  The only time she really talked to me after we met was :when she said that some other guy in the chat line had a ’sexy body’ and :that she didn’t know what she felt about me. : :I know she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore because I’m ugly.  She had :these visions of this super hunk guy on the other side of the line and I :didn’t fit the bill.  She liked talking to me sooo much untill she saw :what I looked like.  Now I was having real suicidal thoughts last night, :and I’m feeling really bad.  I hate that no matter how hard I try, or :where I look, women don’t want to be with me. : :I’m done with those stupid chat lines.  I feel so bad! :

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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