Lonely Loneliness

When you start pretending here

Question:

Thank you, Grace. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there? That’s a really good question.  Sometimes you feel like you’ve said it all – already and that no one wants to hear it again.   You might try personal emails to friends you have come attached to here or other newsgroups in the ASD hierarchy – you will see some of the same people and some new people and they will care too.     It wouldn’t be a bother if you emailed me.        It may be that you are pretending cause – you can’t read what you write anymore,  because the pain is too great.   I hope you can find some healing . . When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. African Proverb Never fear shadows,  they simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.  Unknown.

Response:

Exactly.  I do this all the time…I always feel like i’m imposing on people, even when I do something like ask them to go somewhere with me. I realize that they could say no if they don’t want to go, but if they say yes I always think it’s because they feel sorry for me.  That makes me feel guilty. Yep, me too.  I even hate calling people on the phone out of the fear that I’m interrupting some activity or their favorite TV show.  The fear of being a burden or being rejected is pretty powerful stuff.

Me too.  I don’t call people unless I have to, and even then I always hope I’ll get their machines, so then it’s their responsibility to call me back. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Bruce.

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there?

That’s a really good question.  Sometimes you feel like you’ve said it all – already and that no one wants to hear it again.   You might try personal emails to friends you have come attached to here or other newsgroups in the ASD hierarchy – you will see some of the same people and some new people and they will care too.     It wouldn’t be a bother if you emailed me.          It may be that you are pretending cause – you can’t read what you write anymore,  because the pain is too great.   I hope you can find some healing . . When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.   African Proverb Never fear shadows,  they simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.  Unknown.

Response:

Exactly.  I do this all the time…I always feel like i’m imposing on people, even when I do something like ask them to go somewhere with me.  I realize that they could say no if they don’t want to go, but if they say yes I always think it’s because they feel sorry for me.  That makes me feel guilty.

Yep, me too.  I even hate calling people on the phone out of the fear that I’m interrupting some activity or their favorite TV show.  The fear of being a burden or being rejected is pretty powerful stuff. Bruce.

Response:

Thanks.  I just always feel funny emailing people from here.  Don’t want to bother anyone. You know, I guess I do too.  I always worry that they will be annoyed, or that I will be perceived as pushy or forward.  It is interesting how we assume that behavior that doesn’t bother us will inevitably bother other people.

Exactly.  I do this all the time…I always feel like i’m imposing on people, even when I do something like ask them to go somewhere with me.  I realize that they could say no if they don’t want to go, but if they say yes I always think it’s because they feel sorry for me.  That makes me feel guilty. But I don’t mind if people email me, atall.  I don’t think it’s a bother, or a burden.  I like making new friends, as long as they can put up with my incessant chatter. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Eric When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.        –Hunter S. thompson

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sorry to butt in.   Always remember, people make the choice themselves to be concerned.  And for some, concern for others is the best balm for some of their problems. Yeah, I know…but their concern sometimes makes me feel guilty. I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain… I don’t mind… Thanks.  I just always feel funny emailing people from here.  Don’t want to bother anyone.

You know, I guess I do too.  I always worry that they will be annoyed, or that I will be perceived as pushy or forward.  It is interesting how we assume that behavior that doesn’t bother us will inevitably bother other people. Eric When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.        –Hunter S. thompson

Response:

I’m not worried about people thinking harshly, actually.  Im more worried about people being concerned.  People here have enough going on…the last thing they need is to be concerned about me. Don’t worry about others, care for yourself. The last thing you need is to be worried about others’ concern for you. Be happy that people care and worry about you… next to getting better, isn’t that what you (and everyone) wants?

Yeah, but it just makes me feel guilty.  I guess it’s the old standby.  I feel like I should be able to handle this stuff…after all, it’s not like anything tragic has really ever happened to me. I don’t like worrying people…which is probably why I try to put on a happy face at work, even when Im stressed to the hilt. No matter how much negativity is posted, asd soaks it up with lemon scent. It’s the infinite sponge, and it’s still yellow.

I really like this metaphor. I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain… Why would they have not been happy? You have chosen them out of millions of people to confide in and to lean on. They should feel honored.

Heh…If I were they, I’d be thinking "Out of all the people in this newsgroup, why did she have to pick me?  Doesn’t this chick ever shut up?" If I criticized other people for "whining" it would be vastly hypocritical of me. And, as I see it, if life screws you over you have the right to bitch about it. It’s a human thing to do. Then, if someone forms a negative opinion of you "because you’re always talking about yourself" (they say to me) they’re insensitive and possibly a jerk.

There’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself if you feel the need to do it. Here is the infinite sponge, here is the sound-proofed room, here is the warm blanket at the end of the day. Write what’s on your mind! I wish it were that easy. If this were easy, rocket science would be basketball in comparison.

Heh. I am happy you said that… usually people are glad when I’m not around. I know my words aren’t strong enough to change anything for you, but: don’t worry about being selfish. You were cheated, and it’s time to break knee-caps.

Hehe…thanks.  Now, where did I put that baseball bat? : ) You’ve given me alot of food for thought.

Response:

I’m sure you know objectively that you don’t have to wear a mask in here. That nobody will think harshly of you, that it’s ok to express your pain. I’m not worried about people thinking harshly, actually.  Im more worried about people being concerned.  People here have enough going on…the last thing they need is to be concerned about me.

Don’t worry about others, care for yourself. The last thing you need is to be worried about others’ concern for you. Be happy that people care and worry about you… next to getting better, isn’t that what you (and everyone) wants? No matter how much negativity is posted, asd soaks it up with lemon scent. It’s the infinite sponge, and it’s still yellow. I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain…

Why would they have not been happy? You have chosen them out of millions of people to confide in and to lean on. They should feel honored. If the problem is that you feel like you’re a whiner, or that it seems people aren’t listening, I think neither is actually the case. Thank you.  I know people are listening…that’s part of the reason why I feel I have to put a good face on things.  They’re probably tired of my whining.  (Be honest…I know I whine alot.  You can admit it.)

If I criticized other people for "whining" it would be vastly hypocritical of me. And, as I see it, if life screws you over you have the right to bitch about it. It’s a human thing to do. Then, if someone forms a negative opinion of you "because you’re always talking about yourself" (they say to me) they’re insensitive and possibly a jerk. Here is the infinite sponge, here is the sound-proofed room, here is the warm blanket at the end of the day. Write what’s on your mind! I wish it were that easy.

If this were easy, rocket science would be basketball in comparison. (((((((Angela))))))) Thank you, Josh…From a purely selfish standpoint, I’m glad you’re here. From an unselfish standpoint, I’m sorry you have to be.  I hope you understand that.

I am happy you said that… usually people are glad when I’m not around. I know my words aren’t strong enough to change anything for you, but: don’t worry about being selfish. You were cheated, and it’s time to break knee-caps. Thanks. Angela.

No problem. — Josh

Response:

Sorry to butt in.   Always remember, people make the choice themselves to be concerned.  And for some, concern for others is the best balm for some of their problems.

Yeah, I know…but their concern sometimes makes me feel guilty. I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain… I don’t mind…

Thanks.  I just always feel funny emailing people from here.  Don’t want to bother anyone.

Response:

I’m sure you know objectively that you don’t have to wear a mask in here. That nobody will think harshly of you, that it’s ok to express your pain. I’m not worried about people thinking harshly, actually.  Im more worried about people being concerned.  People here have enough going on…the last thing they need is to be concerned about me.

Sorry to butt in.   Always remember, people make the choice themselves to be concerned.  And for some, concern for others is the best balm for some of their problems. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – If you find it too uncomfortable to show your true feelings here, then I think you should figure out why that is… Several reasons…most of them fear-related. in the mean time, you could try e-mailing others from here directly. I don’t think most would mind, and it might be easier for you. I myself love all e-mail, including spam (as long as it’s new spam). I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain…

I don’t mind…   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – If the problem is that you feel like you’re a whiner, or that it seems people aren’t listening, I think neither is actually the case. Thank you.  I know people are listening…that’s part of the reason why I feel I have to put a good face on things.  They’re probably tired of my whining.  (Be honest…I know I whine alot.  You can admit it.) Here is the infinite sponge, here is the sound-proofed room, here is the warm blanket at the end of the day. Write what’s on your mind! I wish it were that easy. (((((((Angela))))))) Thank you, Josh…From a purely selfish standpoint, I’m glad you’re here. From an unselfish standpoint, I’m sorry you have to be.  I hope you understand that. Thanks. Angela.

Eric When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.        –Hunter S. thompson

Response:

I’m sure you know objectively that you don’t have to wear a mask in here. That nobody will think harshly of you, that it’s ok to express your pain.

I’m not worried about people thinking harshly, actually.  Im more worried about people being concerned.  People here have enough going on…the last thing they need is to be concerned about me. If you find it too uncomfortable to show your true feelings here, then I think you should figure out why that is…

Several reasons…most of them fear-related. in the mean time, you could try e-mailing others from here directly. I don’t think most would mind, and it might be easier for you. I myself love all e-mail, including spam (as long as it’s new spam).

I’ve emailed some people in here…I’m sure they weren’t exactly thrilled. I wouldn’t have been, if I were they.  Spam doesn’t exactly have the content that my emails contain… If the problem is that you feel like you’re a whiner, or that it seems people aren’t listening, I think neither is actually the case.

Thank you.  I know people are listening…that’s part of the reason why I feel I have to put a good face on things.  They’re probably tired of my whining.  (Be honest…I know I whine alot.  You can admit it.) Here is the infinite sponge, here is the sound-proofed room, here is the warm blanket at the end of the day. Write what’s on your mind!

I wish it were that easy. (((((((Angela)))))))

Thank you, Josh…From a purely selfish standpoint, I’m glad you’re here. From an unselfish standpoint, I’m sorry you have to be.  I hope you understand that. Thanks. Angela.

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there?

I’m sure you know objectively that you don’t have to wear a mask in here. That nobody will think harshly of you, that it’s ok to express your pain. If you find it too uncomfortable to show your true feelings here, then I think you should figure out why that is… in the mean time, you could try e-mailing others from here directly. I don’t think most would mind, and it might be easier for you. I myself love all e-mail, including spam (as long as it’s new spam). If the problem is that you feel like you’re a whiner, or that it seems people aren’t listening, I think neither is actually the case. Here is the infinite sponge, here is the sound-proofed room, here is the warm blanket at the end of the day. Write what’s on your mind! (((((((Angela))))))) — Josh

Response:

Why do you feel the need to pretend here?

Because the reality can be truly scary.  Because I don’t want to worry anyone.  Because I’m afraid to let people in too close.  Because I’m afraid of disappointing people who are nice to me. You should never feel that way here.

I know. We are open to your feelings and your problems so there is no need to think you need to find another spot to talk or that your thoughts and feelings are not welcomed.

I know that, too…I’m just…well, I guess I’m just afraid of what people will think or say or that I’ll make them feel worse by posting. What happened to make you feel this way?

I don’t know.  nothing, I guess.  Thanks, Becky.

Response:

Why do you feel the need to pretend here? You should never feel that way here. We are open to your feelings and your problems so there is no need to think you need to find another spot to talk or that your thoughts and feelings are not welcomed. What happened to make you feel this way? Becky Safe in the womb Of an everlasting night You find the darkness can Give the brightest light Safe in your place deep in the earth That’s when they’ll know what you’re really worth Forgotten while you’re here

Response:

Thanks. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ll agree with Stan. It’s nice if you feel good. It’s sad if you feel bad. But don’t feel rejected any way. ***

Response:

I’ll agree with Stan. It’s nice if you feel good. It’s sad if you feel bad. But don’t feel rejected any way. ***

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You can be yourself here. That may be…but I don’t feel like I can, just the same. Thanks, Stan.

Response:

You can be yourself here.

That may be…but I don’t feel like I can, just the same. Thanks, Stan.

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there? Are you acting like things are better than they are? Yes.

You can be yourself here. Stan – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Stan

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there? I remember your first post here about suicide.

Wow…I don’t. You have gone from life with mom and dad and reliving your Non-Childhood to now having your own place.

Yeah. You lost a man along the way. You think he’s the best thing ever.

I thought he was…I dont so much think so anymore. Now you have your own place. I swear to you, if you survive the next six months of loneliness, you will find something wonderful at the end of this. (((((((((((((Angela)))))))))))))))))

Thank you…but at the moment, I consider myself lucky if I survive the next six days, or six hours.  except for a few brief bright spots, I’ve been lonely most of my life. yes, people know your name and care about you, even if you don’t know

them. I have to admit, that’s a little strange.  My first thought upon reading this was "Who are you?  Do I know you?"  Then I realized that even if I did, your identity is your business. Thank you. Angela – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there? Are you acting like things are better than they are?

Yes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Stan

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there?

Are you acting like things are better than they are? Stan

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there?

Response:

where else is there to go?  When you start acting like things are better than they are in a place where it’s supposed to be ok to feel the way you do, where do you go from there?

I remember your first post here about suicide. You have gone from life with mom and dad and reliving your Non-Childhood to now having your own place. You lost a man along the way. You think he’s the best thing ever. Now you have your own place. I swear to you, if you survive the next six months of loneliness, you will find something wonderful at the end of this. (((((((((((((Angela))))))))))))))))) yes, people know your name and care about you, even if you don’t know them.

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness Lonely

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