any clear heads out there?
Question:
10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
Response:
I was guilty before and now I’m really feeling guilty…. I know I must be an exception to the case. You see, I don’t feel badly at all about my divorce. I hardly even think of it…I know it has to be a block in my mind. I lost my child just two months before my ex and I split up and I’m certain his death is blocking the grief from my divorce. It scares me to think it will hit one day! Daisy Duck – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles? Ten years! Please tell me you aren’t serious. My god, I’ve only been going through this for five months, and it’s been hell. I think that must be a new record. I really don’t think it should take ten years to get over a divorce. I’m sure there will always be some hurt left, but most people are over it within a couple of years at worst. Have you tried therapy? Or at least tried a couple of good self-help books? You don’t mention any details, but you must have some seriously unresolved issues. My heart really goes out to you. I hope you find your way free of those shackles. Curtiss Curtiss R. Hammock II Atlanta, GA, USA Online Portfolio http://www.desertisle.com/curtiss/ The Cavedogs http://www.desertisle.com/cavedogs/ Funk Pop A Roll http://www.desertisle.com/funkpoparoll/
Response:
Yes, I feel the same way, and I am not quite divorced yet…I feel like I want to cry and cry, but have not yet. Maybe I take too much Prozac! An old Chinese saying: "If sorrow does not take its vent in tears, another organ weeps". I’ve already had heart bypass surgery, and I don’t want anything like it again, if I can avoid it….so, somebody tell me how to cry…please… Thanks, John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It scares me to think it will hit one day!
Response:
10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
I have been going through a divorce for 10 months. It seems that the pain has lessened over the past three months, due to much prayer, friends and counseling. It still amazes me though that the pain can be so bad at certain times. The good periods are outweighing the bad now. I do know that life goes on. I also know that ten years from now I don’t plan on suffering like this. Please for your sake get counseling. You are just as important as your ex! Lisa (This is from my friend Lisa, who is getting Internet service SOON!) — Renee Bush http://www.meginc.com/personal/users/reneeb/index.html Housework Done Properly Can Kill
Response:
Yes, I feel the same way, and I am not quite divorced yet…I feel like I want to cry and cry, but have not yet. Maybe I take too much Prozac! An old Chinese saying: "If sorrow does not take its vent in tears, another organ weeps". I’ve already had heart bypass surgery, and I don’t want anything like it again, if I can avoid it….so, somebody tell me how to cry…please… Thanks, John
I have just the opposite problem. I can’t stop crying. I just swing back and forth between anger and grief.
Response:
You don’t say if there are children involved. If there is you might not experience freedom from your pain until they are grown. If there is no children … then ten years is oohhhh so long!! ugh!! I agree with who ever said therapy or some kind of help. Get out with your friends and meet new people!! My heart goes out to you!! Spiderweb "be good" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
Response:
10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
10 years? Would be nice to hear some more, particularly about all the good but often cheap advice usually offered. For my own part I’m through 3 1/2 years since actual breakup, and i’ve tried most of it: reviving friendships, counselling, new social activities, rebound relation, strenghthening remaining family relations, focus on work, focus on kids etc. And its all very nice for a little while, but it doesent seem to really reach ME in the long run. Despite a rooted loneliness and fatigue – due to loosing the possibility of ever fathering in a functioning family – I’m actually somehow satisfied with the state of my life. I guess there is some consolation in that the pain is real and sound response to the actual circumstances of my life. So somehow the shackles are gone, but pain still remain. But with the actual state of my life I’d be more alarmed if the pain vanished. Well, just thoughts… Charlie Blue
Response:
Press on…that seems far too long to allow it to bite you in the ass. You are the one who controls what it is that is bothering you. It is you and only you which allows it to continue to do so. Wildman – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
Response:
It has been 10 years for me as well.I can honestly say that the shackles have been shaken. Being married is not the only way to go. I do have an occasional bout of sadness at looking back, but my divorce does not define me any longer. Sometimes in conversation if I am talking about a particular issue or problem..someone will respond with "Well ,maybe it’s because of your situation…" referring to my single parent status. I usually respond "Oh, I didn’ t know I was in a "situation"….I do not view my life any longer as a "situation". When I realized this, I knew I was almost there.Good Luck to you. Mary – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – 10 years on the effects of divorce are still biting deep…. anyone shaken the shackles?
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness
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