Lonely Loneliness

Creepy Stalker Dude

Question:

One of the girls from last weekend’s canoe trip is also in my psychology course so I made it to class early today with the sole intention of hitting on her. Mission accomplished. I had some good flow going on. Ends up we’re both poets. I told her my work deals with loneliness, desperation and isolation. The mention of isolation hooked her and she asked me to elaborate. Unfortunately class was about to start so I told her we’ll have to discuss it later. Now this girl is a teacher’s pet, the kind who stays after class and peppers the poor instructor with questions regarding lecture. I really want to continue our conversation and ask her out so I linger outside looking at brochures in the hallway, that way she can intercept me on her way out. About five minutes pass and she is still in there so I leave the building because I am afraid I’ll seem like a creepy stalker if I just stand outside the classroom waiting for her. Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior?

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Rainier wrote: > One of the girls from last weekend’s canoe trip is also in my psychology > course so I made it to class early today with the sole intention of > hitting on her. Mission accomplished. I had some good flow going on. Ends > up we’re both poets. I told her my work deals with loneliness, desperation > and isolation. The mention of isolation hooked her and she asked me to > elaborate. Unfortunately class was about to start so I told her we’ll have > to discuss it later. > Now this girl is a teacher’s pet, the kind who stays after class and > peppers the poor instructor with questions regarding lecture. I really > want to continue our conversation and ask her out so I linger outside > looking at brochures in the hallway, that way she can intercept me on her > way out. > About five minutes pass and she is still in there so I leave the building > because I am afraid I’ll seem like a creepy stalker if I just stand > outside the classroom waiting for her. > Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be > construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior?

Not exactly.  I do have a fear if I act too interested in someone in general they’ll be creeped out.  Which is difficult because at first everything new is very interesting, and I’m impatient and want to bite it all off at once. That’s really not a Freudian slip.  Really not.  Nope.

Response:

>Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be >construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior?

Sometimes. I can’t see how what you did could be seen as stalker behaviour, unless you wait for her after every class and follow her around like a puppy.

Response:

"Rainier" <rainierba…@hotmail.com> wrote in news:204d21b767ebf2f0c70daa570ab2a7ee@localhost.talkaboutsupport.com: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> One of the girls from last weekend’s canoe trip is also in my > psychology course so I made it to class early today with the sole > intention of hitting on her. Mission accomplished. I had some good > flow going on. Ends up we’re both poets. I told her my work deals with > loneliness, desperation and isolation. The mention of isolation hooked > her and she asked me to elaborate. Unfortunately class was about to > start so I told her we’ll have to discuss it later. > Now this girl is a teacher’s pet, the kind who stays after class and > peppers the poor instructor with questions regarding lecture. I really > want to continue our conversation and ask her out so I linger outside > looking at brochures in the hallway, that way she can intercept me on > her way out. > About five minutes pass and she is still in there so I leave the > building because I am afraid I’ll seem like a creepy stalker if I just > stand outside the classroom waiting for her. > Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will > be construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior?

Probably would have been stalker-y. Actually, that was probably the pefect situation to ask her out on a date.   Like, "Class is about to start, but how about we meet at such-and-such a place at such-and-such a time and I’ll tell you more about isolation."

Response:

Rainier wrote: > Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be > construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior?

Sometimes.  For instance, if it’s getting dark and I’m walking behind a woman on the street, I’ll cross over to the other side of the road.  No sense in creeping her out.

Response:

Antares wrote: > Rainier wrote: > > Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be > > construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior? > Sometimes.  For instance, if it’s getting dark and I’m walking behind a > woman on the street, I’ll cross over to the other side of the road.  No > sense in creeping her out.

Incidentally, when I was checking out apartments the other day, one of the ladies asked me for my picture ID, before taking me on the tour. Me: Huh? Girl: I need your picture ID. Me: Umm… just out of curiosity, may I ask why? Girl: State laws require that we ask everyone for their ID’s.  It’s part of the "equal treatment" law. Me: OK, but why do you need anyone’s ID? Girl: Actually, it’s for my protection. [I stare at her blankly.  Is she talking about potential litigation? Does she want to be protected against my suing her]? This went on for a while longer until it finally penetrated my fog-shrouded brain that she was worried I’d kidnap her on the course of the tour.  Of course, I can’t really be blamed, since she kept dancing around the issue, without stating up-front that she was worried I’d physically assault her. The entire episode was somewhat demoralizing.

Response:

"Antares" <antaresonwhe…@gmail.com> wrote in message

news:1129280123.013733.218590@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com… > Rainier wrote: >> Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will be >> construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior? > Sometimes.  For instance, if it’s getting dark and I’m walking behind a > woman on the street, I’ll cross over to the other side of the road.  No > sense in creeping her out.

I quite often feel like I have to avoid eye contact with a woman on a train for example.

Response:

"Phil" <p…@myaddress.com> wrote in news:diofro$qb$1@ucsnew1.ncl.ac.uk: > "Antares" <antaresonwhe…@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:1129280123.013733.218590@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com… >> Rainier wrote: >>> Does anyone else have this paranoid fear, that anything they do will >>> be construed by women as creepy stalker-like behavior? >> Sometimes.  For instance, if it’s getting dark and I’m walking behind >> a woman on the street, I’ll cross over to the other side of the road. >>  No sense in creeping her out. > I quite often feel like I have to avoid eye contact with a woman on a > train for example.

I don’t know why people need to take one absolute extreme or the other. Because it’s kind of weird to park outside someone’s house and wait an hour with flowers until she comes home, or hang out in ambush outside a class for someone you’ve barely met, it doesn’t mean that you have to cross the street or look the other way for a complete stranger.

Response:

"Phil" <p…@myaddress.com> wrote in message

news:diofro$qb$1@ucsnew1.ncl.ac.uk… > "Antares" <antaresonwhe…@gmail.com> wrote in message > news:1129280123.013733.218590@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com… >> Sometimes.  For instance, if it’s getting dark and I’m walking behind a >> woman on the street, I’ll cross over to the other side of the road.  No >> sense in creeping her out. > I quite often feel like I have to avoid eye contact with a woman on a > train for example.

Well in such a situation I’d just avoid contact with everyone (on a train, etc). Im’ curious…why would you make eye contact with anyone on a train normally?

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness

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