Lonely Loneliness

feeling so insignificant

Question:

Hi! Tx for your support!  I know it sounds totally pathetic, but I would have liked to get such a resonance from people I know and who I used to care for. > <grin> and 39 isn’t old.. giggle.. it’s a state of mind I believe.. I > actually have some very young freinds I dance with and they even tell > me sometimes I’m younger than them inside and I’m still somewhat of a

See, you seem to have misunderstood me….I don’t think 39 is old, I just can’t imagine actually living through all those years like this….and I feel much much older… > wide eyed child living life again fresh and new for maybe the first > time in my lifetime.. I look for the good stuff, I’m not waiting and > hoping it comes into my life anymore. I see rainbows now in the rain > sometimes.. I look for the stars glittering in the night and I know a > whole bunch of people are looking at the same stars too.. and how long > has it been since you walked happy with rain falling on your face.. > mmm..

Just a week ago, it rained really hard, and I just walked into it for the purpose of becoming drenched.  It kind of lifted my spirits a little…but such things are so temporary…. I have read often about not waiting, but rather taking action, but what procedure can one follow…is the only chance I have to wait for some intuition?  Looking at stars….I often do things which cause pleasure, but sometimes I just want someone to WANT to share those experiences with me, and these thoughts cancel out the positive feelings…don’t know what to do about it…. Partyman

Response:

Scroll please… <snip a bit> > Tx for your support!  I know it sounds totally pathetic, but I would have > liked to get such a resonance from people I know and who I used to

care for. Your welcome.. and I think we all feel the same way, that’s kind of why we’re reaching out in a support group for loneliness isn’t it? <snip me> > See, you seem to have misunderstood me….I don’t think 39 is old, I just > can’t imagine actually living through all those years like this….and I > feel much much older…

I am someone who always felt like I was supposed to be born in a generation or two before this time.. so no I didn’t take it personally, I was teasing you and I think no matter what age we are, 12, 20, 30, 40 or 85.. at the age that we are at and at that time we can reflect back but we can’t always look forward to see ourselves as older. To often I think we live in yesterdays and todays and forget we can kind of make tomorrow be what we want it to be if we form a picture of ourselves at an older age and then plan and achieve how we are going to get there and do it.. step by step you can create your tomorrow I really do believe this.. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Just a week ago, it rained really hard, and I just walked into it for the > purpose of becoming drenched.  It kind of lifted my spirits a little…but > such things are so temporary…. > I have read often about not waiting, but rather taking action, but what > procedure can one follow…is the only chance I have to wait for some > intuition?  Looking at stars….I often do things which cause pleasure, but > sometimes I just want someone to WANT to share those experiences with me, > and these thoughts cancel out the positive feelings…don’t know what to do > about it…. > Partyman

mmm.. that’s part of feeling alone and you do have alot of pressures right now in college.. it seems like your trying so hard to get through this semester and the next and the goals get twisted in the pressure sometimes.. I guess you have to do what you did and keep makeing yourself do this.. find the beauty and the possitive daily so it doesn’t outweigh the negatives.. the more you practice thinking possitively the more it becomes more normal.. and it’s ok to have bad days.. we all have them.. sometimes I think we can let the negatives become so substancial that we kinda loose the ability to simply see a possitive.. when you get deep into feeling down and depressed you almost lock yourself into it I think.. viscious circles must be broken that’s all I know from my own history of living.. and the rain does feel good doesn’t it? Me too I hope someday I meet the person who’ll share stuff with me.. this too will come in time for both of us probably, it’s just that now isn’t the time yet.. Pamela Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response:

Partyman: I Once read that Suicide is a good option as long as you keep it an OPTION!  If you choose it, then it is not an option anymore.   You were wise to put it iff for a while.  You know that you could do it at anytime, so whats the rush.  Once you do it, you have no other choices.  I remmebr when 25 was a long way off, adn now I passed thirty.  IT goes fast. What are you studying?  What classes are you taking?  Did the semester begin yet? IronicMn

Response:

<grin> rude is ok sometimes when your feeling kinda lost and lonely and you weren’t actually.. How can one define when you feel inside another human is hurting with feelings you yourself have felt in your life.. and their reaching for simply validation that their are other humans out their and their are people in the world that care if they come back tomorrow again.. And yes.. I worried.. I posted to you because your words made me feel the need to cause you as a person were reaching.. <grin> and 39 isn’t old.. giggle.. it’s a state of mind I believe.. I actually have some very young freinds I dance with and they even tell me sometimes I’m younger than them inside and I’m still somewhat of a wide eyed child living life again fresh and new for maybe the first time in my lifetime.. I look for the good stuff, I’m not waiting and hoping it comes into my life anymore. I see rainbows now in the rain sometimes.. I look for the stars glittering in the night and I know a whole bunch of people are looking at the same stars too.. and how long has it been since you walked happy with rain falling on your face.. mmm.. So.. what stopped you.. maybe the fact that tomorrow can become something better and you should wait and see what it holds.. maybe the fact your feeling stressed, over worked, underloved and under appreciated right now and college is getting to you.. like it’s not high school.. and your going into a tough field … and at the same time your working so hard.. something in the back of your mind is saying.. is this what I want to do with my life.. and pushing and pushing you to just get through .. Do you know.. if you do this thing of taking your life.. how many survivors of it would never be able to deal with life quite right again.. and what of them.. is it fair to destroy your parents, your freinds, your family, your teachers.. everyone who you ever touched in life and maybe your not able to be with them so much right now.. do you know they will never forgive themselves cause you didn’t reach.. have you ever had a friend commit suicide? How would it affect you if one of your best freinds did this.. and it’s not guilt I’m laying on you.. it’s a reality check.. there are some here who have lost freinds to suicide.. and it changed them forever cause it was too late for someone they loved to say.. I love you and maybe still have that person in their lives.. Everyday life changes.. tomorrow maybe better than you ever could possibly dream.. however we all have days and times in our lives where it’s bleak and cold and the world seems so barren and you can’t see the tomorrow and it would be easy to simply quit.. I don’t think your a quitter.. I think your lonely, your tired.. maybe even a bit depressed.. but your not a quitter are you? hugs.. cause.. I did worry and I still am.. cause I too maybe will be felt as if I am rude to you.. but it’s cause I care that I’ll be honest. Pamela In article <8o493c$2d…@news.cs.tu-berlin.de>,   "Partyman" <partym…@gmx.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yesterday, I stood on the balcony in the 15th floor of my apartment building > and thought about jumping off, but then I decided to postpone it for a > while.  I really don’t want to sound rude or offending, but I can’t imagine > living long enough to become 39.  Besides, how can you worry about someone > for days without even knowing that person? (Sorry, I am being rude > again….) > Partyman > Unicorn <b4uaunic…@my-deja.com> schrieb in im Newsbeitrag: > 8o376o$fc…@nnrp1.deja.com… > > psss.. don’t do it.. stick around.. find the reason that your feeling > > like nothing matters..aren’t you a bit curious as to why? > > Schools tough.. It can twist you into so many directions that you don’t > > know if your coming or going.. > > What are you studying for? > > And how old are ya.. I’m 39 and.. I got a heap of lonely years ahead of > > me.. but I’m gonna enjoy them though.. > > Pamela > > psss.. and as a side note when as I repost this.. I replied to you > > almost immeadeatly after you posted so you would not feel so alone > > because you seemed to be heading towards crisis.. please reply to this > > so I know your OK… I worried about you for days.. > > Before you buy.

Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.

Response:

Consider this : We have been created as spiritual beings. Our fullfillment is in a deep relationship with God Himself. Without this we all feel very empty, worthless and aimless. Trust me, at twice your age… I know the difference. Dan. "Partyman" <partym…@gmx.net> wrote in message

news:8nse92$ccm$1@news.cs.tu-berlin.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi! > According to everyone, I shouldn’t be complaining about anything at all. I > did fine in school and am doing fine in college.  I have a promising career > ahead of me.  In spite of this, I’m still not satisfied.  Everything seems > so dull and pointless.  Just recently, I did perfectly well in an exam, but > in about half an hour afte, I had lost all the satisfaction I had felt. > What is the point in spending weeks of time studying just to feel more > dejected than before?  I mean, no one really cares about my result.  I don’t > really seem to care either.  Whatever I do, and however I do it, it doesn’t > really change anything.  Pointless.  I can’t imagine living like this for > years and years until I die of cancer or something.  I am going to end it, > that’s for sure, the question is only, when.  I was just curious to see what > type of answer I get.  Just a request: spare me all the talk about lost > possibilities and opportunities and all the psychological stuff because I’ve > read all about them, but nothing seems worthwile.  I don’t really know what > to expect.  I guess I’m kind of frustrated or something.  I know that all of > this sounds totally crazy and even I don’t know why I am trying to write > about my problems and at the same time trying to convince you not to answer. > I guess I don’t know.  Who cares anyway?  <– See, that was an > attention-catching device, a sentence to cause some kind of an emotional > response.  I am just degrading myself to some kind of beggar, but I don’t > think that matters either.  Am I sounding a little cryptic?  I don’t blame > you if you think that.  I just hope I didn’t rob anyone of his precious time > to read this.  If so, just ignore this posting and the author.  I don’t know > if I would reply to something like this either.  If I have the bad luck of > waking up alive tomorrow, I’ll take a look at the responses, if any.  I’m > going to sleep now.  At least, that is of value. > Partyman

Response:

Yesterday, I stood on the balcony in the 15th floor of my apartment building and thought about jumping off, but then I decided to postpone it for a while.  I really don’t want to sound rude or offending, but I can’t imagine living long enough to become 39.  Besides, how can you worry about someone for days without even knowing that person? (Sorry, I am being rude again….) Partyman Unicorn <b4uaunic…@my-deja.com> schrieb in im Newsbeitrag: 8o376o$fc…@nnrp1.deja.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> psss.. don’t do it.. stick around.. find the reason that your feeling > like nothing matters..aren’t you a bit curious as to why? > Schools tough.. It can twist you into so many directions that you don’t > know if your coming or going.. > What are you studying for? > And how old are ya.. I’m 39 and.. I got a heap of lonely years ahead of > me.. but I’m gonna enjoy them though.. > Pamela > psss.. and as a side note when as I repost this.. I replied to you > almost immeadeatly after you posted so you would not feel so alone > because you seemed to be heading towards crisis.. please reply to this > so I know your OK… I worried about you for days.. > Before you buy.

Response:

pssss.. Cobra.. Same Cobra from long time ago? oh.. I know you have accomplished much  if it is.. and yeah.. it’s hard when you do well and you still find.. loneliness is part of reality.. cause.. people just don’t see you for the person that you are.. but what they think you should be.. hugs.. and welcome back Pamela In article <8nsi3p$q5…@nnrp1.deja.com>,   Kom0do

Filed under: Loneliness

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