Going down —->
Question:
Do something. You have to start with what is inside.<
And what if what is inside is nothing. A black pit of despair, utterly and completely without hope of redemption. Completely absorbed in self loathing to the point of worthlessness. What do I start with when all I see is corrupted. When all my hopes have died. When all my dreams have turned to dust and fallen through hands that destroy all that they touch. What do I start with then? poor, poor steven. he doesn’t even know when to just lay down and die
Response:
I just wonder what these things feel like.
They all feel wonderful, awesome. just wonder
Do something. You have to start with what is inside.
Response:
Pricilla(sp?), I appreciate the words of comfort. Unfortunately they are of little use to me right now. But I do thank you. I am just going through my usual down trend on loneliness. When you work alone and live alone, it tends to get to be a little too much every now and then.Unfortunately I will live through this, I always have. Although I know the truth of my death and hate it with all that I am, sometimes I would welcome it’s dark comforting embrace. It is sad that the next arms to hold me close will be those of cold darkness. ***** On first breath it was told that he would look out on this land, yet see none of it’s beauty. Would touch of others, yet feel only hatred and despair. Walk a lifetime upon the earth, and have no peace. Carry the love of a thousand years in his breast, and find none with which to share it. Close his eyes for a final time in the dark embrace of death, cold, and alone. ***** Steven words to die by
Response:
hey…. sounds like my kinda guy… Mis – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I smiled when you came into the Big River Grille last Sunday; you were so nice to me on the phone Saturday when I was clueless about what was going on that day – it was so nice to meet you! You have a gentle sparkle to you Steven, and are even more charming in person than you were on the phone. Aware1 — Toto… I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
Response:
it would be sooooooo nice if that would happen… Maybe we shall both be lucky enough to find that person sometime… and hopefully its before I get old and gray… MisUnruly ….daydreaming now… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thoughts that keep running through my head today: What does it feel like to have someone smile just because you entered the room. To have someone lay their head on your shoulder. To look into anothers eyes and see a sparkle that doesn’t exist for anyone else in this world. To hold someone while they sleep and know that they feel safe being in your arms. I just wonder what these things feel like. just wonder Steven
Response:
I smiled when you came into the Big River Grille last Sunday; you were so nice to me on the phone Saturday when I was clueless about what was going on that day – it was so nice to meet you! You have a gentle sparkle to you Steven, and are even more charming in person than you were on the phone. Aware1 — Toto… I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
Response:
Thoughts that keep running through my head today: What does it feel like to have someone smile just because you entered the room. To have someone lay their head on your shoulder. To look into anothers eyes and see a sparkle that doesn’t exist for anyone else in this world. To hold someone while they sleep and know that they feel safe being in your arms. I just wonder what these things feel like. just wonder Steven
Response:
Do something. You have to start with what is inside.< And what if what is inside is nothing. A black pit of despair, utterly and completely without hope of redemption. Completely absorbed in self loathing to the point of worthlessness.
Can you recreate it outside yourself? Does it have a color, a shape, a form? Can you put a sound or words to it? Does it have a rhythm, a center? Could you play how it feels on an instrument, mold it with clay, beat on a phone book with a belt? I have found that putting some of that depression outside of myself, in any way I can; giving form to it can help to unblock it, disempower it, give light to the shadow, get some energy moving. What do I start with when all I see is corrupted. When all my hopes have died. When all my dreams have turned to dust and fallen through hands that destroy all that they touch. What do I start with then?
You start with the spark that is still there, smoldering softly. Lots of ashes to sift through, but it’s worth the dig. Keep digging till you uncover it again. I hope you feel better, Steven. Aware1 — Toto… I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.
Response:
Do something. You have to start with what is inside.< And what if what is inside is nothing.
That is fine. A black pit of despair,
That is not nothing and that is not fine. utterly and completely without hope of redemption. Completely absorbed in self loathing to the point of worthlessness.
I would work on the self-loathing first. I would do meditation for that, simple sitting meditation for awhile and then loving-kindness meditation after that. I’d give it a year of daily practice. What do I start with when all I see is corrupted. When all my hopes have died. When all my dreams have turned to dust and fallen through hands that destroy all that they touch. What do I start with then?
With nothing. poor, poor steven. he doesn’t even know when to just lay down and die
When is that then?
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness
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