Guidelines for Confession

Question:

5 steps for a good confession: 1) Examine your conscience 2) Be sincerely sorry for your sins 3) Confess your sins 4) Resolve to amend your life 5) After confession, do the penance assigned Things to Remember: * Develop the habit of daily examination of conscience * Don’t postpone your confession; that never solves anything * The best way to show God you are sorry for your sins is being sorry enough to quit them * Sin is ANY willful thought, desire, word, action or omission forbibben by the law of God * We are obliged to confess ALL mortal sins AND the number of times committed * Conditions of a mortal sin: 1) the offense must be serious, 2) We must know and advert to the seriousness of the sin, 3) We must have full consent of the will Act of Contrition: Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having ever offended Thee, and I destest all my sins because I dread the loss of Heaven and the pains of Hell, but most of all because the offend Thee, my God, Who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of Thy grace to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen

Response:

* Conditions of a mortal sin:

Oooooohhhh….. my aching heart whenever the wonderful topic of Confession comes up. I’m one of those who has a problem with "scruples", meaning even though my intellect accepts the mortal-venial sin difference, I find it close to impossible to distinguish it within myself when I examine my conscience.. Since I strive my best to lead as holy a life as possible, I *intellectually* feel that I’m not committing mortal sins…but…but… well, I’m not SURE. <groan Do you — or anyone else here — have any good advice for us scrupulous Catholics?

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – * Conditions of a mortal sin: Oooooohhhh….. my aching heart whenever the wonderful topic of Confession comes up. I’m one of those who has a problem with "scruples", meaning even though my intellect accepts the mortal-venial sin difference, I find it close to impossible to distinguish it within myself when I examine my conscience.. Since I strive my best to lead as holy a life as possible, I *intellectually* feel that I’m not committing mortal sins…but…but… well, I’m not SURE. <groan Do you — or anyone else here — have any good advice for us scrupulous Catholics?

Laugh! I’m serious here: alleluia IS as valid as miserere! That, and the more obvious, perhaps of: trust in God! For all that we are bound to examine our consciences and do our best to lead Godly lives, it is God who is the final arbitrer and judge: not us. If you get worried or confused, hand that worry and confusion right over to God. That may sound odd, but speaking from experience, it works! "Ok, Lord, I’m comepletely bewildered here…" The bewilderment may not go, but you no longer have to deal with it *alone*! :) — janet Whether the angels play only Bach in praising God I am not quite sure; I am sure, however, that ‘en famille’, they play Mozart Karl Barth

Response:

[snip] I’m one of those who has a problem with "scruples", meaning even though my intellect accepts the mortal-venial sin difference, I find it close to impossible to distinguish it within myself when I examine my conscience.. Since I strive my best to lead as holy a life as possible, I *intellectually* feel that I’m not committing mortal sins…but…but… well, I’m not SURE. <groan Do you — or anyone else here — have any good advice for us scrupulous Catholics?

Yes. If there is any iota of doubt in your mind, you are NOT in "mortal sin." Relax, and get over this silliness. Trust in God. starving student

Response:

Laugh! I’m serious here: alleluia IS as valid as miserere!

Now *this* is a first for me to hear — and wonderful too, because, just like that, you’ve given me something fresh to think about along this line! :-) Not a single priest (and I’ve been to countless by now, which good scrupulous people DO!) has ever said that! That, and the more obvious, perhaps of: trust in God!

Ah, you’ve touched on my favorite devotion: the Divine Mercy. Janet, a heartfelt thank-you and GOD BLESS. I’ve saved your message to disk and will be reading it often. THANKS!!

Response:

Yes. If there is any iota of doubt in your mind, you are NOT in "mortal sin."

I know that’s true…but…but… I doubt my, well, DOUBTS. (I’m being 100% serious here.) I get tortured with wondering if I’m rationalizing, justifying, "excusing" myself in a subjective manner. (Glad I’m using a ’screen’ name; otherwise I wouldn’t be admitting this in a public forum!!) Relax, and get over this silliness. Trust in God.

Yes… <sigh… I *know* you’re right, and I thank you for saying this. Please pray for me, okay? Thanks and God bless!

Response:

I agree with Trust in God… but since we are sinful and prone to error, I wouldnt consider having a doub to be an indicator that one was NOT in mortal sin… couldn’t you be wrong? starving student K.J. Cornish — I’m not a vegetarian because I love animals — — I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants… —

Response:

but since we are sinful and prone to error, I wouldnt consider having a doub to be an indicator that one was NOT in mortal sin…

Uh, oh…. you’ve just reinforced my doubts about my doubts… <grin

Response:

* Conditions of a mortal sin: Oooooohhhh….. my aching heart whenever the wonderful topic of Confession comes up.

On scruples: I’m one of those who has a problem with "scruples", meaning even though my intellect accepts the mortal-venial sin difference, I find it close to impossible to distinguish it within myself when I examine my conscience..

Venial sins are offensive to God in and of themselves. But if you or your ‘friendly’ priest (who we’ll say is bitter that ABC cancelled Nothing Sacred), start to excuse venial sin, start to treat is casually, then the danger is that the sin becomes worse, your sense and vision become more clouded, and it becomes the slippery slope few ever want to talk about, in most any context. If the priest chides you for worrying too much, tell him flat out – he should worry, more. To be scrupulous is to let one’s guilt interfere with one’s love for God, and one’s duty to others. Scrupulosity closes us off, in the same way that a fat and happy trendy priest is closed off in his sloth and self-satisfaction (and not to pick just on such priests, who _should_ cleave a higher standard). Since I strive my best to lead as holy a life as possible, I *intellectually* feel that I’m not committing mortal sins…but…but… well, I’m not SURE. <groan

Well, then it’s a matter of knowing what’s a mortal sin and what’s not. But small sins are sins nonetheless. All will be paid, if not in this life . . . It _is_ important. Do you — or anyone else here — have any good advice for us scrupulous Catholics?

Realize that time is important. Life is important. Each minute is valuable and precious. Don’t shut yourself off to what you see, and feel. Take it all in to the extent you can. Don’t be blase. Don’t be blind or numbed, as the world teaches us to be. Think for yourself. Trust in God. And be there for others. Be prepared so you can help when help is needed. And so on. But in all this the Catholic differs from the infidel and pagan in that the standard is so much different. The Catholic obeys and is informed by – what Catholics believe. The others are not, and at best, follow conscience. Because of that standard, more is required, more understanding of others is expected, and a sense of what is right and wrong has to extend to whether or not you know what you do is sinful, and even mortally so. Peace.

Response:

Do you — or anyone else here — have any good advice for us scrupulous Catholics? Yes. If there is any iota of doubt in your mind, you are NOT in "mortal sin." Relax, and get over this silliness. Trust in God. I agree with Trust in God… but since we are sinful and prone to error, I wouldnt consider having a doub to be an indicator that one was NOT in mortal sin… couldn’t you be wrong?

No, I couldn’t be wrong. Would God send anyone to Hell if there was even a smidgin of doubt that the person was really bad? Would God burn someone for eternity at all? Would you? If a merciful human wouldn’t, would God? Isn’t it an insult to God to think he would be so vindictive and cruel? To burn a person even for an instant? starving student

Response:

Just a few comments. First, what if God doesn’t send anyone to Hell and they go there freely? That is that God’s grace is everywhere and resistance to that grace causes the pains of Hell? Therefore, God burns no one. The same grace which brings indescribable joy in Heaven brings indescribable suffering in Hell. Don’t look at Hell as the act of a vindictive God, but of a stubborn and foolish human. Secondly, God’s mercy is so far beyond our own as to make any comparisons with human mercy superfluous and erroneous. Jeff Beshoner

Response:

Well, according to the theory, to be a mortal sin, something has to be: gravely wrong You must KNOW it to be gravely wrong You must ASSENT to it, (in other words, you must not be under force or fear). Which seems to mean to me that if you are in doubt AT THE TIME THE ACTION IS TAKEN, (sorry for the caps: it’s emphasis, not shouting!) :), then (aside from the obvious fact that you shouldn’t do it, but who’s perfect?), it probably is not a mortal sin… However, the doubt to me ALSO means that it is matter for confession! — janet Whether the angels play only Bach in praising God I am not quite sure; I am sure, however, that ‘en famille’, they play Mozart Karl Barth

Response:

Yes. If there is any iota of doubt in your mind, you are NOT in "mortal sin." Relax, and get over this silliness. Trust in God. I agree with Trust in God… but since we are sinful and prone to error, I wouldnt consider having a doub to be an indicator that one was NOT in mortal sin… couldn’t you be wrong? No, I couldn’t be wrong.

that’s pretty revealing in itself. Would God send anyone to Hell if there was even a smidgin of doubt that the person was really bad? Would God burn someone for eternity at all? Would you? If a merciful human wouldn’t, would God? Isn’t it an insult to God to think he would be so vindictive and cruel? To burn a person even for an instant?

Excuse me, dear, but we were not talking about anyone burning, except perhaps the straw man… If you think something was a sin, but you’re not sure (ie: you have a doubt) this does not in any way tell you that you didn’t sin..just b/c you doubted…. I mean, we are sinful. We doubt sometimes good things are good and bad things are bad. Doubt does not indicate anything one way 100% or another. starving student

Response:

but since we are sinful and prone to error, I wouldnt consider having a doub to be an indicator that one was NOT in mortal sin… Uh, oh…. you’ve just reinforced my doubts about my doubts… <grin

ACK! :) Sorry, not my intention… but I have this very same issue, and I know for a fact that sometimes if I doubt something is a sin, it’s because I’ve unleashed my class A sin cloaking device and am trying to convince myself I don’t REALLY need to tell my priest THAT… <giggle KJ

Response:

[snip] Just a few comments. First, what if God doesn’t send anyone to Hell and they go there freely? That is that God’s grace is everywhere and resistance to that grace causes the pains of Hell? Therefore, God burns no one. [snip]

This is just a debater’s trick to make God not responsible for the horrid belief in hell. Burning for a second would be dreadful, for all eternity apalling. No, God would be incapable of that. student

Response:

But if you truly knew it would take you to hell, you wouldn’t do it. The theory is a little too simple. student

Response:

[snip] Excuse me, dear, but we were not talking about anyone burning, except perhaps the straw man…

[snip] Oh yes we are. If it is a serious ("mortal") sin, the Church teaches (taught anyway!) that you would BURN in Hell. Which was worse than the worst pain on earth, and eternal to boot! This is/was a horrid belief, unworthy of Christians. A terrorist tactic. Carrot and stick, heaven/hell. How you treat children and animals! student

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – [snip] Just a few comments. First, what if God doesn’t send anyone to Hell and they go there freely? That is that God’s grace is everywhere and resistance to that grace causes the pains of Hell? Therefore, God burns no one. [snip] This is just a debater’s trick to make God not responsible for the horrid belief in hell. Burning for a second would be dreadful, for all eternity apalling. No, God would be incapable of that. student

Not a debater’s trick at all, if one chooses not to spend one’s eternity with God should they be forced to enter heaven? This is the true problem for those in Hell, all they have to do to escape Hell is to accept God’s grace, they refuse it and so they suffer. Jeff Beshoner

Response:

[snip] Not a debater’s trick at all, if one chooses not to spend one’s eternity with God should they be forced to enter heaven? This is the true problem for those in Hell, all they have to do to escape Hell is to accept God’s grace, they refuse it and so they suffer.

You are ignoring three crucial points. 1. If people who you believe go to Hell really knew that their behavior would have sent them there, they wouldn’t have behaved so. 2. They cannot get out. It is supposed to be eternal. Horrible beyond belief – unworthy of a loving God. 3. Ask yourself: would YOU burn ANYBODY for even a minute? An hour? A day? A year? A million years? Eternity? Can you truly say that you would? If YOU wouldn’t, how can you believe God would? But maybe you would do such an apalling thing? I hope not. student

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You are ignoring three crucial points. 1. If people who you believe go to Hell really knew that their behavior would have sent them there, they wouldn’t have behaved so. 2. They cannot get out. It is supposed to be eternal. Horrible beyond belief – unworthy of a loving God. 3. Ask yourself: would YOU burn ANYBODY for even a minute? An hour? A day? A year? A million years? Eternity? Can you truly say that you would? If YOU wouldn’t, how can you believe God would? But maybe you would do such an apalling thing? I hope not. student

The underlying core of these observations seems to be, "no person in their right mind would reject God, the ultimate good." However, what if someone guilty of genocide on a mass scale were to enter heaven and that person refused to repent. Say a Hitler, still walks about spewing hatred on all people, reviles God, curses all that is holy, because of the belief that he, Hitler, is right and everyone else is wrong. This is the kind of hardness of heart that could separate someone from God for an eternity. Phrasing Hell in terms of fire and burning as we know it on earth seems to obscure a deeper understanding of Hell. To say that we can not choose hell but only God, seems to deny our ability to have free choice. As an argument by analogy, I’ve met people who over a life time of acclimatization have learned to live without any love in their hearts what so ever. They live in a loneliness of isolation from all warmth of feeling and compassion, and in their condition they feel immense pain and loneliness and yet, they have learned to live with it. It may be that in many ways, the human soul can also acclimatize itself to the pain and anguish of being separated from God for eternity. So that thinking of Hell in terms of eternity in a dungeon of torture in the medieval sense may obscure the truth that hell is an isolation, a rejection of all that Good requires; which is compassion, bearing with each other’s faults, patience, perseverance. I think people are very capable of rejecting Love in favor of their own isolation, even if that isolation should last an eternity.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You are ignoring three crucial points. 1. If people who you believe go to Hell really knew that their behavior would have sent them there, they wouldn’t have behaved so. 2. They cannot get out. It is supposed to be eternal. Horrible beyond belief – unworthy of a loving God. 3. Ask yourself: would YOU burn ANYBODY for even a minute? An hour? A day? A year? A million years? Eternity? Can you truly say that you would? If YOU wouldn’t, how can you believe God would? But maybe you would do such an apalling thing? I hope not. student

I’m not ignoring those points, I don’t accept them as valid. 1. If people truly make the decision that they do not wish to spend eternity in Heaven, God will not force them to be there. The emphasis is on the true nature of their decision which only God is qualified to make. 2. First of all, there are certain Church Father’s such as Origin and Gregory of Nyssa who believe that prayers can release someone from Hell, this is also the belief of the Orthodox Church – so an eternity of suffering is not a given. Secondly, who are you to define what is or is not worthy of God’s love? As a wise person once told me, we can’t question God’s job performance, because he is the only one with any experience. 3. Again, ask yourself about the nature of this burning? You seem to think in literal fires of hell. My understanding of the burning is the pain that comes from either the willing denial of God’s love and grace or through the purificatory nature of the afterlife. In the former case, it is not God’s will that any should be damned – but that all come to salvation. However, we are all given the free choice to accept or reject that salvation – those who suffer do so because they chose and continue to choose suffering rather than entry into Heaven. In the latter case, I case, I can say that I would gladly endure suffering for a million years, if I knew at the end of my purification I would enter into Heaven. Jeff Beshoner

Response:

[snip] 1. If people truly make the decision that they do not wish to spend eternity in Heaven, God will not force them to be there. The emphasis is on the true nature of their decision which only God is qualified to make.

You are here assuming that some informed persons choose to go to the eternal pains of Hell. This cannot be so. 2. First of all, there are certain Church Father’s such as Origin and Gregory of Nyssa who believe that prayers can release someone from Hell, this is also the belief of the Orthodox Church – so an eternity of suffering is not a given.

Our Church teaches differently. Which is the whole point. Secondly, who are you to define what is or is not worthy of God’s love? As a wise person once told me, we can’t question God’s job performance, because he is the only one with any experience.

Then we cannot talk about God at all. 3. Again, ask yourself about the nature of this burning? You seem to think in literal fires of hell. My understanding of the burning is the pain that comes from either the willing denial of God’s love and grace or through the purificatory nature of the afterlife.

The Church teaches that it is like burning fires. Literally. Shall I quote from some catechisms? You surely know this is so. In the former case, it is not God’s will that any should be damned – but that all come to salvation. However, we are all given the free choice to accept or reject that salvation – those who suffer do so because they chose and continue to choose suffering rather than entry into Heaven. In the latter case, I case, I can say that I would gladly endure suffering for a million years, if I knew at the end of my purification I would enter into Heaven.

I guess we disagree. I wouldn’t. I’d prefer to cease to exist. "To go quietly …" Just think of putting your hand in a blow torch flame for a minute. An hour. A day… An apalling thought. Invented by cruel Christians. student

Response:

us: [snip] Excuse me, dear, but we were not talking about anyone burning, except perhaps the straw man… [snip] Oh yes we are. If it is a serious ("mortal") sin, the Church teaches (taught anyway!) that you would BURN in Hell.

Really? The church teaches that those who die in a state of mortal sin will (are in danger of?) being separated from God for eternity. I don’t know if the fire bit is official teaching though…? Heraclites, I think that was? (Grin… Dante, Dante, DANTE!!) Which was worse than the worst pain on earth, and eternal to boot! This is/was a horrid belief, unworthy of Christians. A terrorist tactic. Carrot and stick, heaven/hell. How you treat children and animals!

Um, that’s how people might treat THEIR kids, but I dislike behaviourism INTENSELY, and have tried to avoid it!! Although I admit to trying to figure out how to use that sort of thing with the cockateil… However, I agree with some of what you are saying: I’ve said before what I think about the way heaven was presented to us as children, as a contest between souls, as to who could have the biggest jewels in their crowns! Hello? Where does God figure in that? However, I think we’re missing a point here. I would argue that God sends no one to hell. However, we are free to choose God or not-God, every day, all our lives. If we choose not-God to the point where we are incapable of accepting the gift of the love of God, (eg, heaven, among other things), how is that God sending us away? One way or another, free will just has to factor in here somewhere! :) — janet Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere

Response:

us: [snip] Not a debater’s trick at all, if one chooses not to spend one’s eternity with God should they be forced to enter heaven? This is the true problem for those in Hell, all they have to do to escape Hell is to accept God’s grace, they refuse it and so they suffer. You are ignoring three crucial points.

Grin… a few points about your points: 1. If people who you believe go to Hell really knew that their behavior would have sent them there, they wouldn’t have behaved so.

I dislike INTENSELY the idea that we should live our moral lives SOLEY for the reward we hope to gain, but… I still think that when people sin, (and I include myself in that) we manage to convince ourselves that we will "get out of it" somehow… 2. They cannot get out. It is supposed to be eternal. Horrible beyond belief – unworthy of a loving God.

Grin… so, time continues in hell? If there is no change, how can there be time? 3. Ask yourself: would YOU burn ANYBODY for even a minute? An hour? A day? A year? A million years? Eternity? Can you truly say that you would? If YOU wouldn’t, how can you believe God would?

I don’t beleive I would, nor am I convinced that fire is part and parcel of church teachings! I know it shows up in writings, and art, but is it really defined as such? (Yes, thanks, I’ve read Teresa’s visions, but personal visions are NOT binding on the rest of the faithful!) — janet Whether the angels play only Bach in praising God I am not quite sure; I am sure, however, that ‘en famille’, they play Mozart Karl Barth

Response:

us: e.demon.co.uk writes: Well, according to the theory, to be a mortal sin, something has to be: gravely wrong You must KNOW it to be gravely wrong You must ASSENT to it, (in other words, you must not be under force or fear). But if you truly knew it would take you to hell, you wouldn’t do it.

True. However, very, very, VERY few of us expect to die in the next ten minutes: most of us figure on getting to confession! The theory is a little too simple.

Don’t think so! :) student

– janet Whether the angels play only Bach in praising God I am not quite sure; I am sure, however, that ‘en famille’, they play Mozart Karl Barth

Response:

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You are not alone — Lonely Loneliness