hello
Question:
This is something very personal, but I am more turned on and would have been with my s2bx if he seemed like he didn’t need me….it got so wearing and demanding to sooth his needs and made him less attractive….especially in sex. I read ahead and seen what responses you have had…. The reason I am about to use sex as an example is I think it plays in all aspects of a relationship. I think we all know that men need sex and women want sex through intimate, romantic, passionate foreplay….but the biggest turn on is a man that doesn’t need me at all, but through interaction has developed a passionate want for just me…neediness is like that all it is, is a need for someone to care for him, to have sex with etc, not a passionate want for me only…I hope this makes sense… I am a very independant and strong women…(not a bitch), but I want to be loved and not needed……make sure you show the difference. My husband would always relate my love for him with me serving his needs. He would talk to me demeaningly, or complain that he is not getting out of life what he needs all day and then expect that I would lay with him at night and be loving and passionate….what the heck is that….no….I don’t think so….I am so turned off. I am not saying you are in the same, but just a line of thought for you…. I as a woman, know that I want a man who wants me, not needs me…he has to be with good self-esteem, good natured and wants me (as I am) and does not need me for his confirmation… I totally respect every man who has posted in ASD, but when I read some (not all) they have taken no responsibility as to why their spouses are where they are at, and why their marriages have fallen apart…They are victims and see nothing that they have done that could have made things different….I take 1/2 the blame for my failed marriage of 18 yrs…but I do not accept it all…. Boy, a glass of wine can really make me spill the beans….but oh how this realization would have saved our marriage. I wish I could have expressed this better to him and have him understand what I was saying. We could have lived a life together encouraging, wanting and loving each other…. Glos – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am new to this news group. I can to do some reading. I am not sure if it is over. I do not want it to be over. I do love her, but it feels like we a just sharing this house. I can not get her to talk or any thing. If I ask her to help with the kids, she makes it seam like I asked the world of her. I would like to write a letter on how I feel, but I do not know if it would work. I have been getting help for some time and she will not come any more. She stopped about 2 years ago. I am at a lost. JIM
Response:
One word of warning – If you ask your wife where you are going, she may say that she doesn’t know. If she says this, take it at face value, because she actually may not know. But try to set a deadline (a reasonable deadline) by which time you will both know whether it is over, or just starting again… You have a lot of good advice here. I do know that I am not ready to end it, but it feels like it is over. I do not know if I can save it. Yes it does take two working to do it. You are right, i need to see where we are going. Thanks
Before you buy.
Response:
That sound like some good advice. Never did think of it before. We do not have any family close by they all live about 500 miles away. One more thing to think about. I started the letter to her, boy it is hard. There is a part of me that would like her to see it on the computer, Than she might come to me and talk. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – One word of warning – If you ask your wife where you are going, she may say that she doesn’t know. If she says this, take it at face value, because she actually may not know. But try to set a deadline (a reasonable deadline) by which time you will both know whether it is over, or just starting again… You have a lot of good advice here. I do know that I am not ready to end it, but it feels like it is over. I do not know if I can save it. Yes it does take two working to do it. You are right, i need to see where we are going. Thanks Before you buy.
Response:
I am new to this news group. I can to do some reading. I am not sure if it is over. I do not want it to be over. I do love her, but it feels like we a just sharing this house. I can not get her to talk or any thing. If I ask her to help with the kids, she makes it seam like I asked the world of her. I would like to write a letter on how I feel, but I do not know if it would work. I have been getting help for some time and she will not come any more. She stopped about 2 years ago. I am at a lost. JIM
Response:
Jim. Maybe, and I might be wrong, if you try romancing her just like when you first met, you might find a way to rekindle an old flame that both of you are missing. I would think that if you really loved her, then it would seem that it would be worth the try. Bildo
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am new to this news group. I can to do some reading. I am not sure if it is over. I do not want it to be over. I do love her, but it feels like we a just sharing this house. I can not get her to talk or any thing. If I ask her to help with the kids, she makes it seam like I asked the world of her. I would like to write a letter on how I feel, but I do not know if it would work. I have been getting help for some time and she will not come any more. She stopped about 2 years ago. I am at a lost. JIM
Response:
Sounds like you came to the right place. I know how you feel, since me and my wife went through this same sort of thing for quite awhile. I wish I could give you a happy ending (Trust me I wish I could give you a happy ending more than anyone else in this world!), but it did not end happily. The only thing that I can possibly tell you is to open up to her, tell you how you feel and trust her to tell you how she feels. When and if she does, *listen* to her – don’t just hear what you want to hear, but hear everything. There is obviously a growing apart here, by what you have said, and you may be in for some heartbreak. Try to find the middle ground, try to see if your visions of the future are still in sync, or can be in sync. Try to tell her how much you love her and maybe everything will be alright. Don’t enter into a divorce lightly – even if you don’t have the same feelings as before, it will still hurt beyond anything you have ever felt. Keep posting here, and make certain you try to keep your sanity, no matter what happens. Before you buy.
Response:
I have tried that. took her out many times. rubbed her back (no sex) working with a psych. on this too. I think she need to make some changes too. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Jim. Maybe, and I might be wrong, if you try romancing her just like when you first met, you might find a way to rekindle an old flame that both of you are missing. I would think that if you really loved her, then it would seem that it would be worth the try. Bildo I am new to this news group. I can to do some reading. I am not sure if it is over. I do not want it to be over. I do love her, but it feels like we a just sharing this house. I can not get her to talk or any thing. If I ask her to help with the kids, she makes it seam like I asked the world of her. I would like to write a letter on how I feel, but I do not know if it would work. I have been getting help for some time and she will not come any more. She stopped about 2 years ago. I am at a lost. JIM
Response:
You have a lot of good advice here. I do know that I am not ready to end it, but it feels like it is over. I do not know if I can save it. Yes it does take two working to do it. You are right, i need to see where we are going. Thanks – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sounds like you came to the right place. I know how you feel, since me and my wife went through this same sort of thing for quite awhile. I wish I could give you a happy ending (Trust me I wish I could give you a happy ending more than anyone else in this world!), but it did not end happily. The only thing that I can possibly tell you is to open up to her, tell you how you feel and trust her to tell you how she feels. When and if she does, *listen* to her – don’t just hear what you want to hear, but hear everything. There is obviously a growing apart here, by what you have said, and you may be in for some heartbreak. Try to find the middle ground, try to see if your visions of the future are still in sync, or can be in sync. Try to tell her how much you love her and maybe everything will be alright. Don’t enter into a divorce lightly – even if you don’t have the same feelings as before, it will still hurt beyond anything you have ever felt. Keep posting here, and make certain you try to keep your sanity, no matter what happens. Before you buy.
Response:
Hi ,if you need a wild time but your afraid to go out or you dont feel like go out and go to those meat market maybe you want to email me and enjoy a wild time at your own home ,,, email time is my favorite thing to do and youwill too. its is safe <grin if you need a safe alternative email me. and we can talk about anything you like …im male 35 and full of SHIT,,,, if your lonely or you just need to talk …im here its free, JUST DON’T
MIND THE CONSTANT SPAM I SEND YOU AND ALL THE X-RATED PICTURES. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Hi ,if you need a wild time but your afraid to go out or you dont feel like go out and go to those meat market maybe you want to email me and enjoy a wild time at your own home ,,, email time is my favorite thing to do and youwill too. its is safe <grin if you need a safe alternative email me. and we can talk about anything you like …im male 35 and full of energy,,,, if your lonely or you just need to talk …im here its free
Response:
hello world
Response:
Hello Temily God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Neibuhr-1926
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – hello world
Response:
Just a quick post, i haven’t been keeping up with reading in this ng, but i wanted to say hello to those i’ve gotten to "know" in here, and yes, i’m still here and still kickin’!!!
Response:
hi ML, Glad you’re "kickin’ " ! Best, - — BD – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just a quick post, i haven’t been keeping up with reading in this ng, but i wanted to say hello to those i’ve gotten to "know" in here, and yes, i’m still here and still kickin’!!!
Response:
‘Bout darn time you came home! Where have you been? You lay out like this again and we are gonna have to talk about divorce! — Gentleman Jim A Country Boy and Southern Gentleman God created me in His image and gave His son that my sins would be forgiven. Please don’t think that you can create a better me than God did, or that you should be any less forgiving. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of divorce, I will feel no loneliness: for I am with me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just a quick post, i haven’t been keeping up with reading in this ng, but i wanted to say hello to those i’ve gotten to "know" in here, and yes, i’m still here and still kickin’!!!
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness
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