how can i deal with my family?

Question:

moving to florida jack? !!!!! :-p — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

ohh, I see (wah!) I hear Ireland is gorgeous tho. This after the baby arrives, yeah? — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – : ] probably not florida, prob’ly somewhere *easy* to get into, like Ireland… Hey, maybe I should enter the green card lottery?? you’re such a sweeeeetie, pan! moving to florida jack? !!!!! :-p — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

: ] probably not florida, prob’ly somewhere *easy* to get into, like Ireland… Hey, maybe I should enter the green card lottery?? you’re such a sweeeeetie, pan!

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – moving to florida jack? !!!!! :-p — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

I love guinness. Of course I haven’t had one for bloody ages though… I’ve got Irish roots too, must be in the blood. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive:yes probably not florida, prob’ly somewhere *easy* to get into, like Ireland… Ireland…always wanted to visit there, pay homage to some of my roots; and of course pay homage to the Guinness brewery.

Response:

It will be good to have the baby there and you all are immigrants so they’d never kick you out and keep your child in… well that happens here with mexicans and south americans….probly other immigrants too. One more semester of school work? Can you see the light at the end of the tunnel yet? You can do it Jack. faith in you pan — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – After the baby, and after I finish my course (4 units, and 10 days prac at this point- basically a full semester’s work). Oh ohhh, I’m getting bigger, pan… I think Ireland might suit me (not that I know much about it), and I hear they’ve got a booming economy, lots of jobs etc. ohh, I see (wah!) I hear Ireland is gorgeous tho. This after the baby arrives, yeah? — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 : ] probably not florida, prob’ly somewhere *easy* to get into, like Ireland… Hey, maybe I should enter the green card lottery?? you’re such a sweeeeetie, pan! moving to florida jack? !!!!! :-p — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It is a pity we can’t have kill files for families like this, hmmm? Then they could yammer away to their hearts content spewing all their nasty stuff and we could go on our merry ways singing "la la la!" To be more practical, if you were planning to move somewhere anyway, this might be a another good reason. I am "overseas" from my family and, after the first years of sadness and loneliness, I prefer it this way. My sister and I get on really well when we are on different continents. {And the fact that we are now so much older and a little wiser may have something to do with it, also.} — Patricia All alone I came into this world All alone I will someday die Solid stone is just sand and water, baby Sand and water and a million years gone by Beth Nielsen Chapman X-No-Archive: yes is in the headers

I like the idea of killfiling family members (alot!). I struggle with keeping my emotional distance from them, and find that I get sucked into their BS all the time. At the times when I’m feeling resilient (killfile activated), I can handle it all so much better- I can accept that it’s their breed (like a dog’s) that makes them what they are, and they can’t help it. I need that perspective now. I’m feeling sad about having had a really nice time with my parents which is now gone. This brief and pleasant time was jammed between telling them I was pregnant and my sister getting pregnant. It seemed that it was something that was bringing us together, and so she had to jump in the middle of it. I have to keep telling myself that they’re all my *extended* family now, as the baby is going to create a new family unit… Hopefully they’ll all become less relevant in my life?? jack.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive: yes there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom… I think getting away is a good idea, if only to buy yourself some time to sort things out on your own away from their influence. You don’t have to go overseas, this is a big country. I moved 1500 miles+, and I think it helped me finally get on my own and learn how to stand on my own feet without others interfering. There’s no law that says you have to keep miserable people actively involved in your life, even those related by blood.

I’m thinking about new zealand atm, which although overseas is closer than some parts of australia to here. My partner could get a job transfer there too, which is reassuring. There’s two things that are holding me back though- finishing my damn uni course (4 units to go, I should be working on them now to make it less), and financial semi-dependence on my family. I can just feel the ire that’s going to come down on me for saying that… That’s right, I’m complaining about my family who props me up financially (what an ungrateful child!!), and wanting to escape them. My mother in particular has me somewhat ensnared by material gain, and she loves to pull the strings…nothing is for free and all that… I live in a house that they own for cheap rent, and that makes a huge difference… especially as i’m having a baby soon, as our combined income is going to be cut drastically (although rent’s going up by 200 a month). Rentals are so high that sadly I doubt our ability to survive without their help (ok, I’ll revise that- "survive comfortably w/out their help"). I can see, however, the possibility that we may be materially worse off without them, but our overall quality of life could actually be improved… I’m working on it. Thanks for responding, jack.

Response:

After the baby, and after I finish my course (4 units, and 10 days prac at this point- basically a full semester’s work). Oh ohhh, I’m getting bigger, pan… I think Ireland might suit me (not that I know much about it), and I hear they’ve got a booming economy, lots of jobs etc.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ohh, I see (wah!) I hear Ireland is gorgeous tho. This after the baby arrives, yeah? — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 : ] probably not florida, prob’ly somewhere *easy* to get into, like Ireland… Hey, maybe I should enter the green card lottery?? you’re such a sweeeeetie, pan! moving to florida jack? !!!!! :-p — — http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans http://home.bellsouth.net/p/PWP-pans2 there’s so much manipulation and lying, changes of loyalties, and playing one another off one another that i hate it. i’m thinking about moving overseas to get away from them. what do you think? a good idea? jack. my mum in particular seems to make me miserable. she can turn a good day bad in about 5 seconds. god i wish we could just have simple stable relationships in my family instead of things constantly being in flux depending on who’s been saying what to whom…

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness

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Lonely Loneliness

You are not alone — Lonely Loneliness