Lonely Loneliness

i feel like im going in reverse !

Question:

Well, I’m glad that things are getting better, though it’s a slow process. Please don’t be too mad at yourself.  If anything, recognize that you may have made a mistake, but don’t beat yourself up over it.  You are stronger than you realize…it takes great power just to know that it’s time to let someone go, in the first place. I know you’ll be ok, too. Angela — "Everything ends badly…If it didn’t, it wouldn’t end" Bobbie <bgrant…@cyberriver.net> wrote in message

news:p9oF4.916$W76.105431@typhoon1.gnilink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> well, i know im only digging myself deeper and deeper.. > i just feel so frustrated with myself > i cant even stand my own self right now..  im mad at me > im mad for not being the strong person i wish i was.. im mad for letting one > man take over my life > im mad for not just letting go > i just wish sometimes that life wasnt so hard > i did end up calling him back just to ask why he hadnt answered the phone.. > he said he got mad and jerked the phone line from the phone.. and of > course.. i dont believe him.. sigh > but.. slowly, and little by little > things are becoming better > i know ill be ok > thanks for listening > Bobbie > Wanderer <mrb…@albedo.net> wrote in message > news:38E57A14.9FB3F585@albedo.net… > > P&Med > > Bobbie, it’s very normal. You went a few days. Bit by bit > > the days between will get longer. I know right it feels as if > > the pain will never end, it will. I wish I could wish the > > pain away, all I can do is offer a friendly ear. > > Bill > > Bobbie wrote: > > > Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. > but > > > it was my own fault. > > > well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again > > > later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. > > > no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night > > > long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. > > > but its been driving me crazy all day.. > > > maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing? god > i > > > just dont know. > > > so many things are going through my head. > > > but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us > breaking > > > up.. but maybe he is > > > i dont know… > > > sigh > > > i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t > called, > > > i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt > be > > > thinking all sorts of things.. > > > i feel so bad now.. my own fault. > > > i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this > > > i think it would be easier > > > im so confused > > > Bobbie > > — > > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html > > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html

Response:

Bobbie,     It’s good to see you again.  I was beginning to wonder if you were alright.  It’ll be ok.  So—Just don’t worry.  I will be there for you if you need to talk. E-mail if you like. Have a great day Merrie "Bobbie" <bgrant…@cyberriver.net> wrote in message

news:NfcF4.1711$xv.131540@typhoon2.gnilink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. but > it was my own fault. > well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again > later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. > no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night > long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. > but its been driving me crazy all day.. > maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing?  god i > just dont know. > so many things are going through my head. > but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us breaking > up.. but maybe he is > i dont know… > sigh > i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t called, > i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt be > thinking all sorts of things.. > i feel so bad now.. my own fault. > i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this > i think it would be easier > im so confused > Bobbie

Response:

        You’ll be fine Bobbie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bobbie wrote: > well, i know im only digging myself deeper and deeper.. > i just feel so frustrated with myself > i cant even stand my own self right now..  im mad at me > im mad for not being the strong person i wish i was.. im mad for letting one > man take over my life > im mad for not just letting go > i just wish sometimes that life wasnt so hard > i did end up calling him back just to ask why he hadnt answered the phone.. > he said he got mad and jerked the phone line from the phone.. and of > course.. i dont believe him.. sigh > but.. slowly, and little by little > things are becoming better > i know ill be ok > thanks for listening > Bobbie > Wanderer <mrb…@albedo.net> wrote in message > news:38E57A14.9FB3F585@albedo.net… > > P&Med > > Bobbie, it’s very normal. You went a few days. Bit by bit > > the days between will get longer. I know right it feels as if > > the pain will never end, it will. I wish I could wish the > > pain away, all I can do is offer a friendly ear. > > Bill > > Bobbie wrote: > > > Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. > but > > > it was my own fault. > > > well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again > > > later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. > > > no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night > > > long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. > > > but its been driving me crazy all day.. > > > maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing?  god > i > > > just dont know. > > > so many things are going through my head. > > > but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us > breaking > > > up.. but maybe he is > > > i dont know… > > > sigh > > > i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t > called, > > > i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt > be > > > thinking all sorts of things.. > > > i feel so bad now.. my own fault. > > > i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this > > > i think it would be easier > > > im so confused > > > Bobbie > > — > > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html > > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html

– http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html

Response:

well, i know im only digging myself deeper and deeper.. i just feel so frustrated with myself i cant even stand my own self right now..  im mad at me im mad for not being the strong person i wish i was.. im mad for letting one man take over my life im mad for not just letting go i just wish sometimes that life wasnt so hard i did end up calling him back just to ask why he hadnt answered the phone.. he said he got mad and jerked the phone line from the phone.. and of course.. i dont believe him.. sigh but.. slowly, and little by little things are becoming better i know ill be ok thanks for listening Bobbie Wanderer <mrb…@albedo.net> wrote in message

news:38E57A14.9FB3F585@albedo.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> P&Med > Bobbie, it’s very normal. You went a few days. Bit by bit > the days between will get longer. I know right it feels as if > the pain will never end, it will. I wish I could wish the > pain away, all I can do is offer a friendly ear. > Bill > Bobbie wrote: > > Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. but > > it was my own fault. > > well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again > > later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. > > no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night > > long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. > > but its been driving me crazy all day.. > > maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing?  god i > > just dont know. > > so many things are going through my head. > > but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us breaking > > up.. but maybe he is > > i dont know… > > sigh > > i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t called, > > i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt be > > thinking all sorts of things.. > > i feel so bad now.. my own fault. > > i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this > > i think it would be easier > > im so confused > > Bobbie > — > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html > http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html

Response:

Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. but it was my own fault. well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. but its been driving me crazy all day.. maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing?  god i just dont know. so many things are going through my head. but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us breaking up.. but maybe he is i dont know… sigh i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t called, i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt be thinking all sorts of things.. i feel so bad now.. my own fault. i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this i think it would be easier im so confused Bobbie

Response:

You are right. You are going in reverse and your hand on the stick shift and your foot is flooring the gas pedal. You fostered this feeling (although it is understandable since the reaction is so common). However, if you want to get through this stop checking up on him and stop thinking the worst. What you are practicing is the pain of speculation. Since you will never really know what he is thinking or doing, you choose to imagine the worst (I’m sure they are just so happy together!..I am sure he is just gloating over what he did! I am sure she doesn’t regret anything she has done! I am sure he spent all night with someone, etc etc). Do you enjoy making yourself sick from the stress that your own imagination wants to create for you?  If you can’t help but wonder what he is doing, why don’t you image something that makes you feel better, since you can’t prove the truth either way. How about…."He’s is not answering the phone because he is lying on his bed in a deep depression over losing me!" If you get proof he is with someone, are you going to imagine that she is a dream-come-true fantasy for him and the earth moves when they touch (of course you are), or imagine she has bad breath and kisses like a fish. Start paying close attention to your thoughts and FORCE yourself to stick to the FACTS. It is arrogant of you to think that you know what someone else is feeling, thinking, or doing or that you could possibly understand the complexities of ANY situation where you are not even present. There are so many people that bring pain through speculation that I strongly recommend you start paying attention to when others do this so that you can learn to stop yourself. Sorry, if this sounds harsh, but you need to take a good hard look at your destructive thought process or you are in for a very long, painful healing. I was there (husband left me, two kids and a 17 year marriage for a secretary half his age without so much as a "see ya later") so rank gives me a little privilege here. I very much want to help you avoid the hard lesson I went through. . Good Luck Shawn

Response:

        P&Med         Bobbie, it’s very normal. You went a few days. Bit by bit the days between will get longer. I know right it feels as if the pain will never end, it will. I wish I could wish the pain away, all I can do is offer a friendly ear. Bill – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Bobbie wrote: > Well, after a couple days of feeling better, i had yet another bad day.. but > it was my own fault. > well, this morning I called him,  he wasnt home.  and then i tried again > later, no answer.. and again.. again.. and again.. > no answer all night long ..  i think he must have stayed out all night > long..  maybe he is already going out with someone.. i dont know. > but its been driving me crazy all day.. > maybe he didnt answer the phone because he knew it was me ringing?  god i > just dont know. > so many things are going through my head. > but, i cant believe he would be out with someone so soon after us breaking > up.. but maybe he is > i dont know… > sigh > i feel so stupid for calling in the first place, i mean if i hadn’t called, > i wouldn’t have known he wasnt going to answer the phone and i wouldnt be > thinking all sorts of things.. > i feel so bad now.. my own fault. > i just wish i had some sort of fianlization to this > i think it would be easier > im so confused > Bobbie

– http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/loneliness.html http://www.crosswinds.net/~loneliness/poetry.html

Response:

Filed under: Loneliness

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