"Luminous beings are we…not this crude matter."

Question:

Thomas…… LOL {{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}} John..are you listening ?? :) jan "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." -Buddha ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thomas wrote….

Hi Knghtsend, I have replied in the text )) Knghtsend heeft geschreven in bericht <19981003031453.21367.00005…@ng139.aol.com>… >How true this is. For All of my life have I focused on my life in a physical >sense. What do I look like? What do I do? What things do I have and what do >others think of me? Who will share my life and what will she look like?

Altough it is to bad to say so … but you have society to blame and not yourself on that point … We are all forced to care about our looks etc … It has grown this way I guess … And it is to bad … But it happens even to me sometimes to … Sometimes my first reaction when I SEE someone is … "hmmm … that doesn’t look like the person that would fit to be my friend" … But I try to say to myself I am not beeing reasonable .. And i go up and I try to get tha persons better … Most of the time I was right and there was no friendship to be found there … But now and then … I gain a friend this way and that makes it worth the whole wile … > So, >for the last few days I have laid here and prayed and thought about this life >of mine. >Until tonight, I stopped thinking about it and started feeling about it. For >it does not matter. All of these physical things do not matter. What does >matter is who I am inside and where I am inside.

I am very gald that you think this way … But I am afraid that I might not totally agree with you … Some people might be angry because I don’t agree with what you have accomlished … But hey … But it think that you should replace all the do’s with shoulds in the senteces above … "All of these physical things SHOULD not matter. What SHOULD matter is who I am inside and where I am inside" Then I would be able to agree with you .. > My loneliness has always been >of a physical nature. I have longed for someone to love and to love me. And >all of this time, I thought that meant to always have someone at my side. Do >not get me wrong, I do believe that that is a part of it, but I do not believe >that it is the whole.

That is oh so true … But I am afraid you will find that we are in the minority in thinking this way … To bad really and none to blame except for society … >I constantly worry about what I am going to do about my problems, and where I >am going to come up with money to handle things and better my life. I worry >about what girl is going to fall in love with me and love me. Does that >matter? Of course, but not as much as me loving them or feeling love from >inside.

Right once again … Love is so impredicibale … If you are not afraid of showing love to the persons you love you will find that the chances of getting a (girl)friend will grow drestacly … Our uncontiuous reads all the Alfa-rays that certain things (such as music, persons, animals, etc) send to us … The more alfa-ray the more we will feel atracted to a person … So by sending alfa-rays … Iow by loving someone, you increase your chances of that persons stareting to love you >In every relationship, I have always felt the best when I am giving. I needed >them to give back to confirm that I wasn’t being foolish. That my choices of >who I gave to were correct. And when they did not, I doubted myself. My mind >doubted my heart and soul.

It is auite normal … Evrybody is either a giver or a getter … But I think it depends of what you are giving … If you are giving love in a relationship then it is normal to expect to get some love back to … I myself am just like you a giver … And it depends … I expect something in return to … Not something that is equal to what I am giving, but something … A thank you, a kiss, anything, no matter hoiw small and I am satisfide (===> damn hugh spellig mistake but I don’t know how to write it correctly 0) >I guess what I am saying is that it is not wrong to give of my heart, but maybe >foolish to demand it back for verification of my own feelings.

I don’t think it is bad to ask SOMETHING back, without carring about the valeu beeing equal that is … >What I am feeling now is incredible and I pray that it is the first step of >many. I no longer have a great need for my physical being, other than those of >pure survival. For it does not matter what I do with it as long as the results >are what come from my heart and soul. I am feeling an abundance of self-worth >and love.

That’s great … I am working on it … NA dit is working better and better all the time … But it will still take a while before I finally get there … > I feel no need for confirmation of who I am.

Well … Don’t know if I can agree with you there … I think that is remains very important that people confirm you for who you are nad not for what you are … > I am inspired and full >of strength. And when I begin to doubt myself or feel any less, I shall come >back to these words that I lay before me in persistence that I shall return to >where I am now. >Thank you for letting me share.

Hi Knghsend, Thx for sharring and Hugs and a lot of strenght, thomas… Congratulations with this improvement … It is abif g step forward friend … Refuse to fall back you here … Keep on stepping … ))

Response:

In article <19981003031453.21367.00005…@ng139.aol.com>, knghts…@aol.com says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->How true this is. For All of my life have I focused on my life in a physical >sense. What do I look like? What do I do? What things do I have and what do >others think of me? Who will share my life and what will she look like? So, >for the last few days I have laid here and prayed and thought about this life >of mine. >Until tonight, I stopped thinking about it and started feeling about it. For >it does not matter. All of these physical things do not matter. What does >matter is who I am inside and where I am inside. My loneliness has always been >of a physical nature. I have longed for someone to love and to love me. And >all of this time, I thought that meant to always have someone at my side. Do >not get me wrong, I do believe that that is a part of it, but I do not believe >that it is the whole. >I constantly worry about what I am going to do about my problems, and where I >am going to come up with money to handle things and better my life. I worry >about what girl is going to fall in love with me and love me. Does that >matter? Of course, but not as much as me loving them or feeling love from >inside. >In every relationship, I have always felt the best when I am giving. I needed >them to give back to confirm that I wasn’t being foolish. That my choices of >who I gave to were correct. And when they did not, I doubted myself. My mind >doubted my heart and soul. >I guess what I am saying is that it is not wrong to give of my heart, but maybe >foolish to demand it back for verification of my own feelings. >What I am feeling now is incredible and I pray that it is the first step of >many. I no longer have a great need for my physical being, other than those of >pure survival. For it does not matter what I do with it as long as the results >are what come from my heart and soul. I am feeling an abundance of self-worth >and love. I feel no need for confirmation of who I am. I am inspired and full >of strength. And when I begin to doubt myself or feel any less, I shall come >back to these words that I lay before me in persistence that I shall return to >where I am now. >Thank you for letting me share.

You are most welcome, my friend. As one on a similar journey, I thank you for sharing your enlightenment. Shalom and hugs, Nick

Response:

And thank you for sharing !! Much of what you wrote spoke to a part of me buried deep inside, and I can now look at certain things from a different perspective….a more positive one. Thank you… Hugs and Smiles, Gina "How high can you fly with broken wings? Life’s a journey, not a destination, And I just can’t tell what tomorrow brings.." — Aerosmith

Response:

oh you *are* wise… I enjoyed (and saved) your story too … I’ll be revisiting these inspiring words as well when I need a boost… hmmmm, inspirational words… the kind of stuff positive web pages are made of … have one?… mind if we put this up on the ASL page? keep writing, you’ve got talent honest love, ric ASL Home Page – updated October 6, 1998 http://homepages.infoseek.com/~aslhome/aslhome.html My Home Page – updated October 2, 1998 http://members.wbs.net/homepages/a/n/o/anonanonanon.html Knghtsend wrote in message

<19981003031453.21367.00005…@ng139.aol.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->How true this is. For All of my life have I focused on my life in a physical >sense. What do I look like? What do I do? What things do I have and what do >others think of me? Who will share my life and what will she look like? So, >for the last few days I have laid here and prayed and thought about this life >of mine. >Until tonight, I stopped thinking about it and started feeling about it. For >it does not matter. All of these physical things do not matter. What does >matter is who I am inside and where I am inside. My loneliness has always been >of a physical nature. I have longed for someone to love and to love me. And >all of this time, I thought that meant to always have someone at my side. Do >not get me wrong, I do believe that that is a part of it, but I do not believe >that it is the whole. >I constantly worry about what I am going to do about my problems, and where I >am going to come up with money to handle things and better my life. I worry >about what girl is going to fall in love with me and love me. Does that >matter? Of course, but not as much as me loving them or feeling love from >inside. >In every relationship, I have always felt the best when I am giving. I needed >them to give back to confirm that I wasn’t being foolish. That my choices of >who I gave to were correct. And when they did not, I doubted myself. My mind >doubted my heart and soul. >I guess what I am saying is that it is not wrong to give of my heart, but maybe >foolish to demand it back for verification of my own feelings. >What I am feeling now is incredible and I pray that it is the first step of >many. I no longer have a great need for my physical being, other than those of >pure survival. For it does not matter what I do with it as long as the results >are what come from my heart and soul. I am feeling an abundance of self-worth >and love. I feel no need for confirmation of who I am. I am inspired and full >of strength. And when I begin to doubt myself or feel any less, I shall come >back to these words that I lay before me in persistence that I shall return to >where I am now. >Thank you for letting me share.

Response:

Hi, Dear dear Knightsend! You have found the Big Secret, the Meaning of Life: the difference between to love and to be lovED. You have found the difference between *Being* vs "doing nicely"…How to be genuine and not make Love a trade commerce (eg "I gave you this, now, you must give me that for me to feel lovED else I will love you no more"). As this is put in practice in your life, you will feel a tremendous difference, where what will come to you will be way more appreciated, and where occasions of gratefulness to Life will be many. Many claim to "be born again". Unless they discovered what you just did, they are still "dead". That people believe in God or not, it is amazing how even with God that "trading" and commerce is applied: "God, if you get me a job, I will give up gambling" "God, if you give me a gf, I’ll distribute religious pamphlets/go to church each Sunday, give money to the poor, shave my head, etc, etc, but all said to be done IF God gives us this or that thing first. Dependant and controlling relationships stem form "to be lovED" rather than "To Love". Where giving becomes a control to get. (Wife saw hubby all cuddly/generous/whatever after a meal (or action) she made the week before: so one evening, she decides to redo the same meal or same action, *BUT this time, in wanting to get*. There, the hubby better behave and react exactly as he did the last time, or else, watch the pots and pans and words fly "I killed myself cooking this in this heat, and you just belch, say a "that was nice" and go sit and watch tv??? Well take this! I’ll never (cook or whatever the action was) for YOU again!:(:(". Hubby wants peace… the next time she happens to cook something, he tries to say how nice and kind that was of her…But she reacts by "that’s exactly what gets on my nerves about you. You just say that cause you ruined it the last time. Thanking me for boiled hard eggs, really:(, while you had not a nice word to say when I made that souffle last week!:(:(". In giving to get, people *keep score*. People put the weight of their expections on the other who is there so they feel lovED. Enslaving… Not to make this longer, but so no one will chop my head for not giving an example with the other sex: the last time "hubby" bought his wife flowers, she was all smiles and he wants to see that look in her eyes again, cause that made him feel lovED so much. He comes back home with flowers. It has been years since he last bought some. She is maybe happy and pensive or thinking back of the memories of the forst flowers he ever bought her, her eyes lost in the bouquet, drifting away with dreams…BUT at that second, she is NOT reacting as he bought the flowers to make her react! EEeeeek! He goes "Gee…I thought they would make you happy:(" (meaning "I bought those to feel lovED and there you are, looking at the flowers instead of giving me that look I bought them for: I bought them for ME to be lovED, not for you to be happy!:(") She reacts saying "…they are lovely….It brings back so many memories…" A few hard words are exchanged from there, blames sometimes ("What? Did someone die?" for the one receiving the flowers for instance, or "excuuu-uuu-uuuse me!!:( Geez, if you take it that way, you can put your flowers where the sun don’t shine", etc) where that usually ends by hubby going "Oh yeah? FINE! Now you know why I never bought you flowers anymore, and mark my words: look at those all you can cause they are the last you will ever get from me!!:(". All that cause behind the giving in both cases was the plan to GET. Wanting to be lovED rather than "to Love". We are Beings of light. Beings of Love. But we forget in this rat race…In this world where all is commerce and commodities…If we buy a car, we will hunt for the best, most powerful, most this and that, and best looking car for our money. That’s fine. That IS an object without a soul, somethign we can use to make our lives easier or nicer. (Then again how many buy a car to "catch", to be lovED by the women/men looking at it, or by the neighbors, colleagues? How often we do things to please…to get admiration/love/approval from the outside). And we get so used to buy this, sell that, and even share housework: you do this, I do that, which is all fine….But where we end up being sure we love, when we end up doing it all to be lovED. The difference is tremendous. To want to be lovED makes the other fdeel like they owe you. It makes them in the end resent all you do "for them", all you "offer" them, as if a pavlov reflex of "what does he/she want now??:("… The difference is a totally different attitude. Where actions can be the same even: one still can by flowers, but they will be (like the forst time?;-) an expression of Love, not a trade to have supper!;-):):) It will not be anymore "finding the right button to press to get what one wants": that is not Love, that is control… And a control *because* one depends on the other’s reaction to Love. Knightsend, I hope you will write about the difference in here as you will live it daily, so that the Light be shed everywhere…. Cause it is very different, and the difference a subbtle thing to describe and make seen…. And it is needed…To Love!!:):) Welcome to the Realm of Light!:):) Hello, brother!;-):) Huge smile ":):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)" Chloe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - Knghtsend (knghts…@aol.com) writes: > How true this is. For All of my life have I focused on my life in a physical > sense. What do I look like? What do I do? What things do I have and what do > others think of me? Who will share my life and what will she look like? So, > for the last few days I have laid here and prayed and thought about this life > of mine. > Until tonight, I stopped thinking about it and started feeling about it. For > it does not matter. All of these physical things do not matter. What does > matter is who I am inside and where I am inside. My loneliness has always been > of a physical nature. I have longed for someone to love and to love me. And > all of this time, I thought that meant to always have someone at my side. Do > not get me wrong, I do believe that that is a part of it, but I do not believe > that it is the whole. > I constantly worry about what I am going to do about my problems, and where I > am going to come up with money to handle things and better my life. I worry > about what girl is going to fall in love with me and love me. Does that > matter? Of course, but not as much as me loving them or feeling love from > inside. > In every relationship, I have always felt the best when I am giving. I needed > them to give back to confirm that I wasn’t being foolish. That my choices of > who I gave to were correct. And when they did not, I doubted myself. My mind > doubted my heart and soul. > I guess what I am saying is that it is not wrong to give of my heart, but maybe > foolish to demand it back for verification of my own feelings. > What I am feeling now is incredible and I pray that it is the first step of > many. I no longer have a great need for my physical being, other than those of > pure survival. For it does not matter what I do with it as long as the results > are what come from my heart and soul. I am feeling an abundance of self-worth > and love. I feel no need for confirmation of who I am. I am inspired and full > of strength. And when I begin to doubt myself or feel any less, I shall come > back to these words that I lay before me in persistence that I shall return to > where I am now. > Thank you for letting me share.

–

Response:

How true this is. For All of my life have I focused on my life in a physical sense. What do I look like? What do I do? What things do I have and what do others think of me? Who will share my life and what will she look like? So, for the last few days I have laid here and prayed and thought about this life of mine. Until tonight, I stopped thinking about it and started feeling about it. For it does not matter. All of these physical things do not matter. What does matter is who I am inside and where I am inside. My loneliness has always been of a physical nature. I have longed for someone to love and to love me. And all of this time, I thought that meant to always have someone at my side. Do not get me wrong, I do believe that that is a part of it, but I do not believe that it is the whole. I constantly worry about what I am going to do about my problems, and where I am going to come up with money to handle things and better my life. I worry about what girl is going to fall in love with me and love me. Does that matter? Of course, but not as much as me loving them or feeling love from inside. In every relationship, I have always felt the best when I am giving. I needed them to give back to confirm that I wasn’t being foolish. That my choices of who I gave to were correct. And when they did not, I doubted myself. My mind doubted my heart and soul. I guess what I am saying is that it is not wrong to give of my heart, but maybe foolish to demand it back for verification of my own feelings. What I am feeling now is incredible and I pray that it is the first step of many. I no longer have a great need for my physical being, other than those of pure survival. For it does not matter what I do with it as long as the results are what come from my heart and soul. I am feeling an abundance of self-worth and love. I feel no need for confirmation of who I am. I am inspired and full of strength. And when I begin to doubt myself or feel any less, I shall come back to these words that I lay before me in persistence that I shall return to where I am now. Thank you for letting me share.

Response:

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Lonely Loneliness

You are not alone — Lonely Loneliness