Okay Here It Is
Question:
Kate, I wish I had said that. I have, in the past 2-3 years found peace that I never dreamed I would ever have. Sure, I have gained weight from inactivity but I am still me. I was forced into early retirement in ‘93 after being on Long Term Disability for 2 years. I never dreamed I would not be able to work at age 51! Like you, I enjoy all types of music, audio books(eyesight is seriously affected) and this wonderful newsgroup. I am sleeping (napping) more during the day and taking Xanax at night just to sleep when the world sleeps. I am basically a Type A personality, Kate and Bonnie, so it is remarkable that I have been able to adapt to this new way of life. Anyway, I think we all have to look at the different paths and choose which one is right for us and go with it. Take care. Robbie C.
Response:
On Thu, 30 Dec 1999 20:11:49 -0500 (EST), bl…@webtv.net (Be Ge) wrote: >I think what I want to know from this n/g is how have so many of you >found the wherewith all to have productive and meaningful lives in spite >of ms????
Bonnie, Me. Like you I had a wonderful career, made enough money to raise my two sons, but was forced into retirement 5 years ago at age 52. Since then I’ve found peace and contentment that goes far beyond the hectic days of being a "professional." At first I did a lot of volunteer work, but that has become too difficult now. So I write, read, daydream, and spend a lot of time on-line. I welcome the snow because it is so lovely instead of worrying that the car won’t make the 7:30 Senior Management meeting where we all sit biting our tongues and our nails and hiding what we are doing for fear it will be stolen or trashed. This evening I am skipping a New Year’s Party because my husband has to work, and I can’t drive. I’m happier — no tight dress, no panty hose, no icy ride through the snow, no exhausted trip home. I am sitting peacefully now, writing to my internet friends, listening to music, and watching my golden retriever sleep. A different life, but one that makes me happy. I’ve learned to balance loneliness with solitude and to love my quiet times. That has made the difference. Love to you, Kate
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Thanks for the positive feedback Kate and Robbie. My new years resolution is going to be to put my NEW life together. I do have peace with the fact that I cannot work anymore. I tried volunteer work, but it has taken too much out of me. My daughter bought me a water painting kit a few years ago, that has been tucked into a closet. I always wanted to paint and I have a huge beautiful yard, the kit is coming out of the closet! Maybe Carmel will give me a few pointers on how to get started. The blues seem to have gone, thanks guys. 2000 is going to be a year that puts meaning and direction back into my life, God willing. Love, Bonnie
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I love your posts, Kate. You always have a way of putting into words what I feel but can’t express. I cringe to think of how the "healthy" me used to be – always rushing, pulling my children along behind me, their little feet barely touching the ground. It’s the people here who have, over the past year, helped me to really appreciate how great ice cream tastes on a hot day, and all the other little things I can still enjoy but never took the time for, from fireworks to Christmas lights. Thanks. Colleen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Kate Murphy wrote: > Me. > Like you I had a wonderful career, made enough money to raise my two > sons, but was forced into retirement 5 years ago at age 52. > Since then I’ve found peace and contentment that goes far beyond the > hectic days of being a "professional." At first I did a lot of > volunteer work, but that has become too difficult now. So I write, > read, daydream, and spend a lot of time on-line. > I welcome the snow because it is so lovely instead of worrying that > the car won’t make the 7:30 Senior Management meeting where we all sit > biting our tongues and our nails and hiding what we are doing for fear > it will be stolen or trashed. > This evening I am skipping a New Year’s Party because my husband has > to work, and I can’t drive. I’m happier — no tight dress, no panty > hose, no icy ride through the snow, no exhausted trip home. > I am sitting peacefully now, writing to my internet friends, listening > to music, and watching my golden retriever sleep. A different life, > but one that makes me happy. > I’ve learned to balance loneliness with solitude and to love my quiet > times. That has made the difference. > Love to you, > Kate
Response:
On Sat, 1 Jan 2000 11:51:03 -0500 (EST), bl…@webtv.net (Be Ge) wrote: >My daughter bought me a water painting kit a few years ago, that has >been tucked into a closet. I always wanted to paint and I have a huge >beautiful yard, the kit is coming out of the closet! >Maybe Carmel will give me a few pointers on how to get started. >The blues seem to have gone, thanks guys. 2000 is going to be a year >that puts meaning and direction back into my life, God willing.
Bonnie, I find the best way to chase blues is to do something . . . it may be writing, or fussing with my dollhouse, or writing a letter. When I am really down, I try to read my e-mail and write a few responses. Today is not very good for me. I’ve had the non-flu which has turned into pneumonia. I’m coughing, exhausted, and achy. But the worst thing seems to be pain in the side of my face going into my scalp. I’ve had it before and think it is probably TN. Hurts a lot! I’m just going to rest and hope all resolves itself. I had a great week just before Christmas when the flu bug was in hiding. Then it seemed to return, bringing the difficulty breathing which turns out to be pneumonia. Crankily, Kate (I think this was supposed to cheer up those who are struggling with MS or Christmas or being disabled. What a bummer. Back to cheer tomorrow.)
Response:
I also wanted to note, I have started a gratitude list. You guys are on it!. Love, Bonnie
Response:
On Sat, 1 Jan 2000 13:37:58 -0500 (EST), bl…@webtv.net (Be Ge) wrote: >I also wanted to note, I have started a gratitude list. You guys are on >it!. >Love, >Bonnie
Bonnie, As a member of many lists, I’d prefer to be on a gratitude list. Uhm, do I qualify? 
The old curmudgeon, Donn
Response:
In article <38735732.3066…@news1.cheetah.net>, <d…@cheetah.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> On Sat, 1 Jan 2000 13:37:58 -0500 (EST), bl…@webtv.net (Be Ge) wrote: > >I also wanted to note, I have started a gratitude list. You guys are on > >it!. > >Love, > >Bonnie > Bonnie, > As a member of many lists, I’d prefer to be > on a gratitude list. Uhm, do I qualify? > The old curmudgeon, > Donn
You’re a charter member on mine, Donn! 
Love ya, P. — This message has been brought to you by: / / / ^~~^ / / ( ” ) / { } / " " YE OLDE BAT PamY – Spokesmom for Jennie who has MS
Response:
Thank you all. I didn’t start the thread but the responses are going to help remind me of what I have found worthwhile in life. After I was told in 85 that I had probable ms, I gave up devoting my life to a search for a working brain and looked to other things that can make life worthwhile. I may not always remember many details of a movie I just saw but that doesn’t take away the emotional response to the movie. I may not recall a book I just read….but the enjoyment while reading counts for something. Tiny birds were in the tree outside my deck and I spent time watching them prior to writing this. My cat sleeps next to my computer and I can read and also take time to pet her. Life can be very good even with limits in what we are capable of doing. I will never be an artist or a great writer but that doesn’t take away the pleasure of sketching or of writing very short stories. I’m so stressed about the work and disability issues the past few weeks and all your messages are reminders of my outlook on life during typical times. I’m going to print them out and read them whenever I’m feeling the fear of being unable to support myself financially. Thank you again. Carole
Response:
Hey Donn, curmudgeon – is that a dirty word? <grin> My best to all, Carol
Response:
Hi Kate, Sorry you are feeling so bad. My husband is just recooperatng from pneumonia. Had no clue he was sick until he woke up during the night with a high fever (104) and congestion. Monday he went to the dr. and x-ray confirmed pneumonia. As for the pain on the side of your face and head–is it confined to one side? The reason I am asking is for the last 3 months I have had this icy-tingle sometimes painful and numbing feeling from the top of my head down the side of my face. Most of my symptoms are confined to my left side and this face thing is left sided also. It is always there, never subsides. Just sometimes it’s more sharp than other times. My best to you, Carol
Response:
Hi again Donn, Then I wouldn’t say this word would apply to you because if you didn’t care about others you wouldn’t be here. I think being grumpy is part of this MS deal. Sometimes I get so irritable I can’t stand myself. I find myself missing my grandkids when they aren’t around and shortly after they are here I become short with them and wish for peace and quiet. They leave — I am sad. Go figure! My best to you, Carol (Rabid Granny)
Response:
On Sat, 1 Jan 2000 18:24:54 -0600 (CST), cm…@webtv.net (carol forsythe) wrote: >Hey Donn, >curmudgeon – is that a dirty word? ><grin> >My best to all, >Carol
Carol, A cur dog might have a dirty connotation, I’m not sure about curmudgeon. I look at a curmudgeon as one who is irascible, hard to get along with, grumpy and critical of some things and cares little about others. Donn
Response:
Not to worry, Carol. It’s just a front. Must keep up one’s image, no? But Donn’s not all that successful at hiding his soft side. We can see through that curmudgeon mask. Hi there, Donn!!!! Carmel – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -carol forsythe wrote: > Hi again Donn, > Then I wouldn’t say this word would apply to you because if you didn’t > care about others you wouldn’t be here. > I think being grumpy is part of this MS deal. Sometimes I get so > irritable I can’t stand myself. I find myself missing my grandkids when > they aren’t around and shortly after they are here I become short with > them and wish for peace and quiet. They leave — I am sad. Go figure! > My best to you, > Carol > (Rabid Granny)
– " Don’t wait for a light to appear at the end of the tunnel. Stride down there and light the bloody thing yourself." www.cyberwizards.com.au/~carmel www.cyberwizards.com.au/~jaragun
Response:
On Sat, 1 Jan 2000 22:19:56 -0600 (CST), cm…@webtv.net (carol forsythe) wrote: >Hi again Donn, >Then I wouldn’t say this word would apply to you because if you didn’t >care about others you wouldn’t be here. >I think being grumpy is part of this MS deal. Sometimes I get so >irritable I can’t stand myself. I find myself missing my grandkids when >they aren’t around and shortly after they are here I become short with >them and wish for peace and quiet. They leave — I am sad. Go figure! >My best to you, >Carol >(Rabid Granny)
Carol, Don’t try to sweet talk me, I was born Grumpy. Let’s see my other close relatives are Dopey, Doc, Bashful . . . uhm, Forgetful, Foggy . . . uhm, the hell with it. Donn
Response:
On Sun, 02 Jan 2000 15:37:34 +1000, CPD <car…@cyberwizards.com.au> wrote: >Not to worry, Carol. It’s just a front. Must keep up one’s image, no? >But Donn’s not all that successful at hiding his soft side. We can see >through that curmudgeon mask. >Hi there, Donn!!!! >Carmel
Carmel, We’re just into the new year by a few hours and already you’re trying to pull the old guy’s cover. The only soft side I have, according to those close to me, is my head. Donn
Response:
Grand Canyon! You can do anything you want. Just want too. If you have to accommodate, do it. You can do anything you did before . Only now, you are more determined. What is the problem? Just make do, change what needs to be changed and go on. There is always a way. People with no legs have gone on to win the special olympics, go forward with hope and determination., Be thankful you have a form of transportation. I don’t mean to be cruel, but remember, life is what we make it. Go forward, be a winner. I know you can, because you have all the love and support from the NewsGroup. Know God is always with you. He will not give you anything you can’t handle. So get with it, you are special, you can achieve anything you desire. Make us proud.and above all make yourself proud and a winner. Congratulations in advance I know you are a winner. Dana.
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Donn, of course you are on my list (I love old curmudgeons). You always have the pithiest comments and you helped get rid of you know who.. Love, Bonnie
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Jeeze Kate, sorry you are feeling so lousy and hope you are feeling better tomorrow. Don’t take echinacia (is that how you spell it), it took it a few months ago when I felt a cold coming on and it almost killed me. Reading and posting to this group is very therapeutic, I am definitely feeling better. Yesterday I spent as much of the day as I could, working in the yard. Getting ready for that painting! My gratitude list is also quite long already, I do have much to be grateful for. Great kids, 3 adorable grandchildren and so much more. I bought a historic home before I was diagnosed, was planning to restore it. Works going slow, I have done a lot of it myself. My house is also on my list, there is always something to do, it will keep me as busy as I want to be (or can afford). Thanks for insight guys……I told my kids if I don’t get to the Grand Canyon before I die to scatter my ashes there. One way or another I’m going to the Grand Canyon. Love in the new milliennium, Bonnie
Response:
In article <17469-386F4DB4…@storefull-282.iap.bryant.webtv.net>, Be Ge <bl…@webtv.net> wrote: > Donn, of course you are on my list (I love old curmudgeons). > You always have the pithiest comments and you helped get rid of you know > who.. > Love, > Bonnie
That’s cuz he’s full o’ pith and vinegar. :> Love ya all, P. — This message has been brought to you by: / / / ^~~^ / / ( ” ) / { } / " " YE OLDE BAT PamY – Spokesmom for Jennie who has MS
Response:
Good Morning Donn and all, Okay, we peeked into your soft-side and you made me aware there is another side so I will tip toe softly through your posts <grin> My best to you, Carol (Rabid Granny)
Response:
Donn, reminds me of a neighbor I used to have while I was still working and Saturday was the only day I could sleep (9 am is not asking too much). This neighbor had a lawn service that started at 6:30 am, not only did they have an exceedingly loud mower, but came equipped with a leaf blower and the whole nine yards. Food for thought, I once had a friend that bought very expensive wall paper, autumn leaves carefully glued to the paper by some tiny hands. Maybe there is a market out there for all those leaves. Hmm….. Here’s hoping the new millennium will bring peace and quiet naps for those of us who need them! Peace, Bonnie
Response:
On Sun, 2 Jan 2000 08:08:04 -0500 (EST), bl…@webtv.net (Be Ge) wrote: >Donn, of course you are on my list (I love old curmudgeons). >You always have the pithiest comments and you helped get rid of you know >who.. >Love, >Bonnie
Bonnie, This morning’s light winds may show what a real curmudgeon I am. We have a neighbor that I am not particularly fond of for a host of reasons. But I do not advocate or any use outward display for the recent and often displeased experiences with him. We have a fruitless Mulberry tree that has grown mightily over the past 35 years. And with that it drops its leaves at about the same time each year, give or take a week due to weather conditions. When the leaves fall, seemingly all in just a few days, the winds seem to arrive at the same time. Since our neighbor lives to the east of us, the winds, slight or strong, seem ever to blow to the east. Get the picture. When I was physically capable years ago, I would race to the front of our home, rake in hand, and usually win the battle of not letting the leaves travel and possibly irritate the neighbor. But times have not been that good since I’ve retired. The neighbor seems ever doing chores at odd times and days just when I am trying to enjoy the peace and quiet of the moment, like napping. And when he purchased a brand new lawn mower, one with an unmuffled Briggs and Stratton engine, the size of which is better suited for a racing boat, I became displeased. But I held my own counsel and enjoy the eastward path of the leaves that ride the little breaths of breezes and the sometimes gail force serendipity. And to show my good faith, I occasionally make an appearance with rake in hand and stand with a look of futility. Today is such a day. And only 2 days into the millennium. Now that’s being a curmudgeon. Donn
Response:
I joined this n/g on the advise of my neuro. (He suggested I get on line, good support and info). Great idea, I love you all, I have gotten more good info than I would have dreamed and have a connection to the outside world. I have had the blues for the last few weeks, holidays are hard, I am alone, kids are gone onto their own lives. The isolation is awful. I think what I want to know from this n/g is how have so many of you found the wherewith all to have productive and meaningful lives in spite of ms???? I still can’t get over the fact that I am never going to see the Grand Canyon. Many days it is all I can do to brush my teeth. That recent post of fatigue really hit the nail on the head. I have ppms (35 years now), it feels like my body is wrapped in one of those lead capes the dentist puts on you. Every day. ( I know I’m preaching to the choir) I am not bitching, even though it sounds like it. Just venting and I really want to know how you guys do it. I used to have a great career, made great money, raised 3 kids by myself. I thought by this time in my life it would be a lot different, you know what I mean??? Peace, Bonnie
Response:
Hello Bonnie dear, Boy do I know how you feel! I want go into a lot of detail but I had a great career, great love-life, loved playing golf, bowling, swiming, dancing and partying! The "dentist vest" was a good analogy. The last few weeks I have felt like I have 5 lb. weights strapped on my ankles. I have had MS so long I can’t remember life without it. I am a "gadget nut" – anything electrical that comes out I have to know how it works and I enjoy it until the new wears off. When the sergers came out and everyone had one and raving about them – I got one. I serged everything in the house. I found a pair of Chris’s sox with holes and serged them. He said "Thanks Robbie, those are the ones I shine my shoes with". Then the computer went on the blink. I gave Chris a list of what I needed and buying a part every now and then, I built a 486. (My new computer is a Pentium II – *they* put it together for me. I realize the past 3 three years I have been on a steady decline physically and mentally so I try to stay in the know about the new stuff just so I can converse with my daughter, son-in-law and grandkids. Bonnie, sometimes when I am taking yet another nap during the day – I get really scared; thinking, this is it, I just can’t get up again. My body aches, my feet and legs burn and throb with pain. I sleep for an hour or so and do get up to try something else but that is happening less and less. Sorry this is so long. My heart goes out to you. I have two career minded daughters. One lives here in the city(or close to it) I haven’t seen her in two years. She just can’t stand to hear about my maladies. The other one lives 15 miles from me. She has a PhD in critical care nursing. Until Thanksgiving I had seen her and her family 10 times this year! I was a single mom for 10 years; sometimes working a full-time job and two part-time jobs to provide for them and taught them to be independent.Ha! I did a good job. No Mother’s Day card from either one. I can only say that if I didn’t have my husband (11 years now) I would be very much alone. I have found so many good people here on this ng who are just waiting to come to our side and do whatever to ease our pain. Just like we would do for them. Please hang in there. E-mail me direct if you like. I would love to hear more about your life before ms. Take care. Robbie C. Houston, TX ~ Brain cells come and go but fat cells live forever ~
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness
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