On being alone…
Question:
Alone on a bridge, what a thought. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Chief wrote in message <7Dsm2.121$0F6.4…@news.cwix.com>… >HI BKD, > I don’t think there is an easy answer. I tooo find myself alone many >times in a crowded room no less. My first thought is that you have to talk >about it. But please beware you may not like the answer. I’m not trying to >distress you but just want to point out the possibility of you being hurt by >the answer or even the possibility of not getting the answer. Not getting >the answer I think is worse. I’ll not go into detail but I know what you’re >talking about. I’ve been in a similar situation where I don’t get any >answer or the "that’s stupid, why are you talking like that" and it gives me >no solace and or comfort whatsoever. I think I now the answer and when I >state it I get absolutely no response. In my own way I guess I’ve learned >to deal with it but it really gets me down sometimes. I occasionally think >about the local bridge. I’m sharing more than usual here but you’ve touched >on something deep in my heart. In fact it irritates me sometimes which >turns into hurt and then more loneliness as I wonder what’s really going on. >There is absolutely no doubt about love and caring but there is an >understanding that’s lacking. I believe my problem has to do with my health >and therefore in her own way she’s taking care of me. Irregardless the >first step is to try to talk about it in a respectful and caring way, as I’m >sure you’ll do. I probably haven’t helped but in you own way you’ve helped >me. >Hugs >Eddie (Chief) >BKD wrote in message … >> I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I >am >>not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be >>wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every >>word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the >same >>room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as >I >>try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any >>more..what happened?
Response:
HI BKD, I don’t think there is an easy answer. I tooo find myself alone many times in a crowded room no less. My first thought is that you have to talk about it. But please beware you may not like the answer. I’m not trying to distress you but just want to point out the possibility of you being hurt by the answer or even the possibility of not getting the answer. Not getting the answer I think is worse. I’ll not go into detail but I know what you’re talking about. I’ve been in a similar situation where I don’t get any answer or the "that’s stupid, why are you talking like that" and it gives me no solace and or comfort whatsoever. I think I now the answer and when I state it I get absolutely no response. In my own way I guess I’ve learned to deal with it but it really gets me down sometimes. I occasionally think about the local bridge. I’m sharing more than usual here but you’ve touched on something deep in my heart. In fact it irritates me sometimes which turns into hurt and then more loneliness as I wonder what’s really going on. There is absolutely no doubt about love and caring but there is an understanding that’s lacking. I believe my problem has to do with my health and therefore in her own way she’s taking care of me. Irregardless the first step is to try to talk about it in a respectful and caring way, as I’m sure you’ll do. I probably haven’t helped but in you own way you’ve helped me. Hugs Eddie (Chief) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -BKD wrote in message … > I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I am >not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be >wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every >word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the same >room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as I >try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any >more..what happened?
Response:
> I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I am >not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be >wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every >word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the same >room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as I >try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any >more..what happened?
Dear BKD….a good place to start in your quest for the answer would be to ask him what happened. If you can get him to talking, it will at least be a start. So many of us have found ourselves in the same situation….with the same question. I’m sorry….I don’t have the answer. Maybe someone else here will be able to be of more help to you. Meantime….just know that you do have friends here that you can talk with during those lonely times. Hugs and Smiles, Gina "If there’s a reason for these chains… It’s like we suffer to ease the pain… Now I got this feeling inside of me…. My heart’s in jail and I can’t break free…" — Aerosmith
Response:
If you find the answer, share it with us, won’t you. Me especially. I’m in a new relationship, and can’t help but think of your situation as a dreaded outcome. Any tips to keep me from going down the same road will be greatly appreciated. KenJ BKD <bev…@cwix.com> wrote in article <QWam2.127$Hp6.5…@news.cwix.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I am > not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be > wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every > word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the same > room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as I > try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any > more..what happened?
Response:
I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I am not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the same room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as I try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any more..what happened?
Response:
As far as I can tell, there is no easy answer. I have been here, and Gina is right. The relationship is between you and your mate. It must be worked out by you and your mate, and the best way to do that is to start talking. Think about the things you use to do that made you feel the love you think you lost. Share that list with him. Memories of the fun, happy, romantic, erotic, share all the memories, and ask him to share his. Try and see things through his eyes. Examine the changes in your life <ie children, job changes, deaths, moving> and ask for his input. You will know, if he is willing to walk this road with you that both of you still have the love you thought you once had, you have just misplaced it. There is no easy way. Love, like a rose, can bloom, and then fade away, but its beauty always remains. However it happens, have faith in yourself. Understand that you too, have changed, and that although it is sometimes difficult, in order to make change, one must look through the others eyes and travel in their shoes. Warmest regards,… my door is open to you anytime you need someone to talk to. Anytime. Hang in there. — Hucuna Mattata Barbara – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Reg Riddle wrote in message <19990110222007.00282.00011…@ng26.aol.com>… >> I never liked being alone. And that’s how I find myself even though I am >>not really alone. We’ve been together a long time. It used to be >>wonderful, when we did things together, and talked to each other and every >>word was received as though it had great import. Now, we can be in the same >>room together for hours and no conversation happens. He is humorless as I >>try to tell him a joke. We never talk any more.. we never laugh any >>more..what happened? >Dear BKD….a good place to start in your quest for the answer would be to ask >him what happened. If you can get him to talking, it will at least be a start. > So many of us have found ourselves in the same situation….with the same >question. I’m sorry….I don’t have the answer. >Maybe someone else here will be able to be of more help to you. >Meantime….just know that you do have friends here that you can talk with >during those lonely times. >Hugs and Smiles, >Gina >"If there’s a reason for these chains… >It’s like we suffer to ease the pain… >Now I got this feeling inside of me…. >My heart’s in jail and I can’t break free…" > — Aerosmith
Response:
Filed under: Loneliness
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