Where to begin becomeing gay?

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -tracert wrote: > "Xenos the Elder" <as…@forit.net> wrote in message > news:LZFQe.14634$Er3.12384@reader1.news.jippii.net… >>tracert wrote: >>><NoEmail…@invalid.com> wrote in message >>>news:j8m2h1pmqiu25ggc9k5jhhecgc1vnajkgi@4ax.com… >>>>I am a middle aged man. >>>Sorry dude, you’re about 50 years too late. Don’t you know that gay >>>people are BORN that way? Sheesh. >>2 out of 3 people born that way don’t turn out to become gay. >>Only one in 3 gays has the gay genes. > Genes??? No such thing as a gay gene. As I understand it, there are subtle > changes in brain chemistry while a fetus is in utero which may predispose a > person to be gay or lesbian. If homosexuality was genetic, children of gays > and lesbians would be more likely to be gay, which is simply not the case.

You are right.

Response:

gay genes is a dormant ones, not always passed down from one generation to the next. Women carry bald genes, her sons inherit it, not all her sons are bald. Think of genetic lineage as lottery ticket, it depends on many factors.

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gay genes is a dormant ones, unlike melanin, not always visible in the immediate next generation. women carry bald genes and pass on to her sons, not all her sons are to be bald. It depends on many other factors.

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"Sushi Fish" <yellowtail_2…@yahoo.com> wrote in news:1126491993.569094.315780@z14g2000cwz.googlegroups.com: > women carry bald genes

I’ve read otherwise. — "You tried to scan me, you freaked-out maniac." –TV’s Frank.

Response:

<NoEmail…@invalid.com> wrote in message

news:j8m2h1pmqiu25ggc9k5jhhecgc1vnajkgi@4ax.com… >I am a middle aged man.

Sorry dude, you’re about 50 years too late. Don’t you know that gay people are BORN that way? Sheesh.

Response:

tracert wrote: > <NoEmail…@invalid.com> wrote in message > news:j8m2h1pmqiu25ggc9k5jhhecgc1vnajkgi@4ax.com… >>I am a middle aged man. > Sorry dude, you’re about 50 years too late. Don’t you know that gay people > are BORN that way? Sheesh.

2 out of 3 people born that way don’t turn out to become gay. Only one in 3 gays has the gay genes.

Response:

http://www.narth.com/docs/istheregene.html The above web site don’t agree with the " born that way ".

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"Xenos the Elder" <as…@forit.net> wrote in message news:LZFQe.14634$Er3.12384@reader1.news.jippii.net… > tracert wrote: >> <NoEmail…@invalid.com> wrote in message >> news:j8m2h1pmqiu25ggc9k5jhhecgc1vnajkgi@4ax.com… >>>I am a middle aged man. >> Sorry dude, you’re about 50 years too late. Don’t you know that gay >> people are BORN that way? Sheesh. > 2 out of 3 people born that way don’t turn out to become gay. > Only one in 3 gays has the gay genes.

Genes??? No such thing as a gay gene. As I understand it, there are subtle changes in brain chemistry while a fetus is in utero which may predispose a person to be gay or lesbian. If homosexuality was genetic, children of gays and lesbians would be more likely to be gay, which is simply not the case.

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Mommy problems, I presume.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: > I am a middle aged man. > After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking > up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am > not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I > just am not suited to be with them. > I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must > say that I always have more fun when I am with men. Not just when we > are drinking and watching football, but even when we are just fixing > an old car or something. It’s so much easier to have fun with men than > with women. When I am with women, it seems like I have to constantly > be giving them every moment of my time, because if I dont, I have to > deal with their emotional outbursts and sooner or later their nagging > and bitching. I feel like I have to always be proving myself and am > always on guard and on trial. I just cant have fun when I am with > women, > Because of this, I would rather be with other men. Then I can just be > myself and dont have to put on an act and kiss ass. I almost always > have fun when i am with men, and i never have to listen to them > birching. If they dont like the brand of beer I drink or the way I > tune up an engine, they tell me so, and it’s over and done. A woman > will carry on for days because I bought the wrong brand of toilet > paper and I will never hear the end of it. I just can not and will > not live that way any longer. If I feel like telling a dirty joke, I > want to tell it. The men laugh, the women get all offended and I will > hear their disproval for the next 6 months because of that joke. > Women are just not fun to be around. > Somehow I can not see myself having sex with another man, in fact it > seems rather repulsive. Yet, I feel I could love another man easier > than a woman. This leads me to believe I am becoming gay. In one > sense, its scarey, in another sense, it seems like a welcome change > since I dont care to be alone, and most definately do not want to deal > with anymore women in close relationships. This leaves me one option. > Hopefully, I can find a gay man that is not hung up on sex. I really > dont want gay sex. I do want a close male lover though. We all need > love and I think I’d be much happier with a man. I used to be > tolerant but turned off by homosexuality. Now I rhink I finally > understand the reasoning and the need, and find myself leaning that > way. But where do I begin? How do I find and approach another man > without getting the shit kicked out of me for approaching a straight > man. The guys that I hang around now are all straight, even though > two of them have also given up having relationships with women. I > like these guys as friends but dont want to ruin our friendships. I > think its best if I meet a total stranger. I just dont know how…. > I wanted to post this to a gay related newsgroup but after reading > them all they are is a place to post porn websites. I dont want a > pervert, I just want an honest man to love. > No Email Sam

Or you could spend some time learning about differences between men and women and learn how to appreciate them, and find ways to get along better, and how to pick your women better. Most people in succesful relationships have learned to pick a compatible partner appreciate the differences they have rather then finding them to be a drag.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Larry Kessler wrote: > NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: >>I am a middle aged man. >>After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking >>up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am >>not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I >>just am not suited to be with them. >>I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must >>say that I always have more fun when I am with men. > When it comes to being bitchy (however you may define that word) women > can’t hold a candle to gay men.

LOL. I was thinking something along the same lines, but I didn’t want to be accused of stereotyping! And while there are gay men who like to sit around drinking and watching football, it’s more likely to be Turning Leaf and not Budweiser, and admiring tight ends’ tight ends.

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OB wrote: > 280805 wrote: >>You could become a monk. That way you get all the male >>company you want and the sex is optional. Also you could >>enter a closed order and never have to deal with any of this >>ever again. Yippee! > Another advantage is that many of these monasteries make their own beer > or wine. Usually pretty potent stuff. >>By the way, sex with a man isn’t that difficult, I know it >>sounds well weird but it’s actually possible to enjoy it. > Hm. I don’t think I could bear him falling asleep afterwards, I would > feel so rejected.

LOL. Ashully… if it’s two men there must be a race to see who falls asleep first. Australian man’s idea of foreplay: "You awake Sheila?" [anudda olde joke]

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NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: >I am a middle aged man. >After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking >up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am >not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I >just am not suited to be with them. >I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must >say that I always have more fun when I am with men.

When it comes to being bitchy (however you may define that word) women can’t hold a candle to gay men. — "As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." — H. L. Mencken, in the Baltimore Sun, July 26, 1920

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NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: > I am a middle aged man. > I have come to the conclusion that I am > not going out with any more women. > I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must > say that I always have more fun when I am with men. > Because of this, I would rather be with other men. Then I can just be > myself and dont have to put on an act and kiss ass. I almost always > have fun when i am with men, and i never have to listen to them > birching.

I have to say – you think women bitch..? You obviously h’ain’t been round enough gay men, girl. [I'm assuming you were going for a "t" there in birching, otherwise that's a whole other matter]. > Somehow I can not see myself having sex with another man, in fact it > seems rather repulsive. > No Email Sam

Some snips I’m afraid but the gist is… Would NoEmailSam make a good gay? Why not ask the Advice Bunny? http://www.4degreez.com/misc/advice_index.html One question: Do you reeeeally like Judy Garland?

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NoEmailSam uttered: > I am a middle aged man. > After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking > up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am > not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I > just am not suited to be with them.

Or maybe you’re just an asshole … more about that below. > Because of this, I would rather be with other men. Then I can just be > myself and dont have to put on an act and kiss ass.

Uh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You might be doing more than just kissing one …. Casey

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280805 wrote: > You could become a monk. That way you get all the male > company you want and the sex is optional. Also you could > enter a closed order and never have to deal with any of this > ever again. Yippee!

Another advantage is that many of these monasteries make their own beer or wine. Usually pretty potent stuff. > By the way, sex with a man isn’t that difficult, I know it > sounds well weird but it’s actually possible to enjoy it.

Hm. I don’t think I could bear him falling asleep afterwards, I would feel so rejected.

Response:

NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: > I am a middle aged man.

Ditto. > After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking > up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am > not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I > just am not suited to be with them. > I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must > say that I always have more fun when I am with men. Not just when we > are drinking and watching football, but even when we are just fixing > an old car or something. It’s so much easier to have fun with men than > with women. When I am with women, it seems like I have to constantly > be giving them every moment of my time, because if I dont, I have to > deal with their emotional outbursts and sooner or later their nagging > and bitching. I feel like I have to always be proving myself and am > always on guard and on trial. I just cant have fun when I am with > women,

Well, I’m pretty much the opposite case. I dunno if it’s all that significant as regards sexuality. The fact that I don’t feel all that comfortable in company of blokes is easily explainable as a result of my childhood/adolescence experiences. I grew up with three sisters and no brothers. Parents divorced when I was thirteen, so no father to act as male role model after that. Painfully shy at school, so very little in the way of same-sex friendships. Result, I just never got the hang of being "matey". Later in life, I found myself in a position where it was strongly in my interests to be so (recently emigrated, only people I knew were male colleagues, three of whom I shared a flat with), so I kind of fell into the routine of going out boozing every night with them. It was all right, but I felt increasingly bored and dissatisfied and plagued with the sensation of being an "onlooker" rather than a participant. I had neglected to develop the one crucial area of knowledge and conversation you need to be around blokes – i.e. soccer – I knew nothing about soccer and had no interest in it, so that meant that around 75% of the conversation excluded me (as a consequence of this, I spent more time drinking than talking, which meant I always ended up having twice as many bottles lined up on the table). As you can imagine from this, I’ve always sought out the company of females. For me, it’s just natural to do so. I can’t say to what extent the fact that I find females "nicer" or "more fun" to be with is due simply to the fact they don’t go on about soccer the whole time. Maybe that’s all it is. Still, it’s a big plus. Anyway, what I’m saying is that I don’t think "enjoying the company of people of a particular gender" correlates at all with sexuality. The above could be the autobiography of a gay male, but it’s not. There are people on these groups who claim to despise women, yet part of the intensity of the loathing seems to derive from the awareness that, owing to a cruel trick of nature, they "need" women, if only for sexual release. Presumably, if your sexuality did not thrust you into the arms of women, you could adopt a relaxed live-and-let-live attitude and not let their perceived shortcomings bug you. Obviously, if after a cold hard look at your own sexuality you come to the conclusion that you do, physically, need women, then it would make sense to try and find a modus vivendi that enabled you to not be constantly annoyed and irritated by them/"her". That might mean looking at your own prejudices and expectations (some guys seem to want every woman they meet to be simultaneously the Virgin Mary, Mother Theresa, Mata Hari and the Big Brother They Never Had, which is a pretty hard act to pull off even with the best will in the world – disappointment is pretty much guaranteed), or it might mean simply giving yourself the freedom to look around, to be picky and insist on a woman who meets your criteria – e.g. one who is not "nagging" or "bitchy" or obsessed with toilet paper brands (they do exist). Conclusion: it’s worth exploring your own sexuality, finding out where you are on the spectrum – but don’t use your ill-feeling towards present or former partners as an indicator. The mere state of "partnership" does seem to distort behaviour and I have a feeling that might work in gay relationships too. A bloke who’s great on the subject of car tuning might suddenly turn into another toilet-paper-complainer as soon as you start sharing a bed with him. After all, most women don’t give you advance warning about their nagging/bitching potential either. These are things you only find out in day-to-day living. (Not putting this very well – wife nagging about me beign on Internet instead of working, so have to write fast.) I dunno (not specialised in this area) but I would guess that if you lined up a copy of Playboy and another of Playgirl on your bed and flicked through each in turn, taking care to include a "cooling-off period" in between (poss. inc. cold shower), sexual orientation could be measured fairly precisely as a factor of relative degree of genital arousal associated with each viewing experience (provide self with ruler or tape measure before commencing experiment). Just a thought. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Because of this, I would rather be with other men. Then I can just be > myself and dont have to put on an act and kiss ass. I almost always > have fun when i am with men, and i never have to listen to them > birching. If they dont like the brand of beer I drink or the way I > tune up an engine, they tell me so, and it’s over and done. A woman > will carry on for days because I bought the wrong brand of toilet > paper and I will never hear the end of it. I just can not and will > not live that way any longer. If I feel like telling a dirty joke, I > want to tell it. The men laugh, the women get all offended and I will > hear their disproval for the next 6 months because of that joke. > Women are just not fun to be around. > Somehow I can not see myself having sex with another man, in fact it > seems rather repulsive. Yet, I feel I could love another man easier > than a woman. This leads me to believe I am becoming gay. In one > sense, its scarey, in another sense, it seems like a welcome change > since I dont care to be alone, and most definately do not want to deal > with anymore women in close relationships. This leaves me one option. > Hopefully, I can find a gay man that is not hung up on sex. I really > dont want gay sex. I do want a close male lover though. We all need > love and I think I’d be much happier with a man. I used to be > tolerant but turned off by homosexuality. Now I rhink I finally > understand the reasoning and the need, and find myself leaning that > way. But where do I begin? How do I find and approach another man > without getting the shit kicked out of me for approaching a straight > man. The guys that I hang around now are all straight, even though > two of them have also given up having relationships with women. I > like these guys as friends but dont want to ruin our friendships. I > think its best if I meet a total stranger. I just dont know how…. > I wanted to post this to a gay related newsgroup but after reading > them all they are is a place to post porn websites. I dont want a > pervert, I just want an honest man to love. > No Email Sam

Response:

NoEmail…@invalid.com wrote: > Women are just not fun to be around.

I would dispute that. Having spent the afternoon at work with a female colleague, and coming home to a wife who roundly abused me for not reading her mind, my belief is that women are great companions, only don’t marry one. Remember that it was a woman (Jane Austen) who said that a man with money must be in need of a wife to spend it for him. I can accept that men and women think differently, but my experience is that as with every other form of life, the male is considered expendable. If you prefer the company of men, it doesn’t have to be sexual. Henry Higgins is my ideal bachelor. Perfectly contented to be his true self, and to be respected for it. If he needed a woman to help him find his slippers, he had his housekeeper. Doug. — ICQ Number 178748389. Registered Linux User No. 277548. Some men see things as they are and say why? I dream things that never were and say: Why not? – Robert Kennedy.

Response:

You could become a monk. That way you get all the male company you want and the sex is optional. Also you could enter a closed order and never have to deal with any of this ever again. Yippee! By the way, sex with a man isn’t that difficult, I know it sounds well weird but it’s actually possible to enjoy it.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text - (NoEmail…@invalid.com) writes: > I am a middle aged man. > After my last marriage, several nasty women before her, and breaking > up with my latest girlfriend, I have come to the conclusion that I am > not going out with any more women. Either they are all bitches, or I > just am not suited to be with them. > I have never been gay, never even thought about it until now. I must > say that I always have more fun when I am with men. Not just when we > are drinking and watching football, but even when we are just fixing > an old car or something. It’s so much easier to have fun with men than > with women. When I am with women, it seems like I have to constantly > be giving them every moment of my time, because if I dont, I have to > deal with their emotional outbursts and sooner or later their nagging > and bitching. I feel like I have to always be proving myself and am > always on guard and on trial. I just cant have fun when I am with > women, > Because of this, I would rather be with other men. Then I can just be > myself and dont have to put on an act and kiss ass. I almost always > have fun when i am with men, and i never have to listen to them > birching. If they dont like the brand of beer I drink or the way I > tune up an engine, they tell me so, and it’s over and done. A woman > will carry on for days because I bought the wrong brand of toilet > paper and I will never hear the end of it. I just can not and will > not live that way any longer. If I feel like telling a dirty joke, I > want to tell it. The men laugh, the women get all offended and I will > hear their disproval for the next 6 months because of that joke. > Women are just not fun to be around. > Somehow I can not see myself having sex with another man, in fact it > seems rather repulsive. Yet, I feel I could love another man easier > than a woman. This leads me to believe I am becoming gay. In one > sense, its scarey, in another sense, it seems like a welcome change > since I dont care to be alone, and most definately do not want to deal > with anymore women in close relationships. This leaves me one option. > Hopefully, I can find a gay man that is not hung up on sex. I really > dont want gay sex. I do want a close male lover though. We all need > love and I think I’d be much happier with a man. I used to be > tolerant but turned off by homosexuality. Now I rhink I finally > understand the reasoning and the need, and find myself leaning that > way. But where do I begin? How do I find and approach another man > without getting the shit kicked out of me for approaching a straight > man. The guys that I hang around now are all straight, even though > two of them have also given up having relationships with women. I > like these guys as friends but dont want to ruin our friendships. I > think its best if I meet a total stranger. I just dont know how…. > I wanted to post this to a gay related newsgroup but after reading > them all they are is a place to post porn websites. I dont want a > pervert, I just want an honest man to love. > No Email Sam

Seems to me reading your words above (i.e. not knowign anythign else from you but those words of course, and having only that to go by) that you seem to think the problems you lived would be exclusively linked to females more than to *any* live-in or long (or medium) term relationship of any sexual orientation. I.e. I’d expect that you’d find the same things/complaints about giving some of your time in a relationship of any sexual orientation, and I lack seing hwo that would be dfferent according to the *gender* of the partner.Sure, you might happen to run into a man that would not have any preferences with toilet paper. His might be with aftershave or what model of car you care to tune-up or whatever else. Or you might discover it can be annoying when the seat si always down;-):), what do we (both you and I) know:) Also seems to me from your words that you sort of don’t want any relatinship per se but find yourself needing sex, where then you figure that maybe that can be with a man without all the pressures and expectations that yet do happen with *any* relationship… It’s in a way as *if* you would see that the only thing you want froma relationship is sex. That then coudl be arranged with a hooker, who woudl not have time to discuss the brand of paper tissue used after the 10 minutes deal. But then you also mention "love". And even possibly love with another man who’d not care for sex….Good luck on finding such a rare man;-)… Perhaps then the problem is a flase one, i.e. perhaps you were gay all that time and just repressed it. I mean, if I also wish loveships were not such a hassle, being hetero in every fiber of my body, a lesbianship would not even be a considered thought. I mean sure, at times, I will say "And the worst is, I am irreversibly hetero. Darn:(". But just out of meaning that gawd, how I wish things would not be so friggen complicated in loveships, where exactly, lesbianship is completely out of the possibilities, since I am strictly hetero by nature….where I yet am sure the annoyances woudl be quite similar regardless of the gender of the person that would "leave the seat up;-)". The fact you can consider gay relatings more seriously gives me then to wonder if you’d not always have been gay and therefore bound to find life annoying with women. But then again, that is only projecting in a way: maybe for others thinking more seriously of a homosexual relationship is soemthign feasable even if they would be strictly hetero. What do I know….Only me!!:) All in all, my guess woud be that if you woud think of gay relationships and woudl expect to be able to keep all your time to yourself and not give anytime to the relating or to the other person in it, the same thing woudl happen that woudl not be due to sexual orientation. I dunno hwo serious you are about the gay idea, but seems to me that if you read gay ngs, you woudl be a gay repressing and taggign his frustrations on women that you just happened to use and fool as you were busy lying to yourself and fooling yourself to start with. If what you seek is a gay love, then you’ll have to be honmest with yourself, stop blaming women for not being men;-), and to take the jump. And yet to expect that the same woudl occur, i.e. that they would like to see you share and chip in with your time, and not just see them as someoen to washyour clothes and cook your meals so that you have more time to go back to tuning-up your car engine… Some gays can be spotted anywhere they are, if of course not all are so opened about their orientation. Perhaps then you coudl start there…. Look around and at least have a talk with someoen you can spot as being gay and as seeming to be soemoen you would feel comfy talking with…? All in all, many women are also loking for what you are. In fact, often they leave men exactly cause of that: ll the hassles of the cooking and the "their mom made it better" ansd thsi and that annoying thing, where many just wish for oh, not a fuck budy per se, but some loveship where sex is included witout all the heavy annoying stuff that goes around it. A fuck budy with love. Not a swine to wash and feed like he was a vegetable for life:). I am certain ths exists in both genders and all three (or does one say nth?) orientations. Perhaps your own idea about women needs revisited and enhanced. Perhaps youd; see it as a lak of respect to them,. while the type you are looking for woud see a live-in long term relationship as a lack of self rspect AND a lack of respect for the other too! But perhaps this s just the pattern of thinking you need to hold on to to dare cross to the wold side and try and assume your being gay, if you are… Who knows. I certainly do not know for you better than you!:) Just a note in ending: Do note that gays are welcomed in this ng as much as heteros, bis, undecided, etc. No matter what some self-apointed wannabe moderator might have pretended to the opposite, recently. The ng is also unmoderatd, where that means there could be acerb agressive dominatrix and gay bashers as much as their opposite and the in-betweens in here. Just don’t let one or the other make you feel like you’d not have a rigt to post here, okay? Lonliness is loneliness. Which should maybe be specified everynow and then does not necessary mean "longing" (for a sex partner/romantic partner), as there are way more causes and facets to loneliness of course than just that. Post reply to what you feel helps you better deal wit the loneliness, and ignore the rest, simply. That includes my posts of course:). Feel free to repl or ignore, as you feel best suits your moment. Hope you can find your answers and better know where to go from there, once you know where to put the "X" on the "You Are Here" shopping centre Map:) Chloe —

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Lonely Loneliness

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