Lonely Loneliness

0-for-2 for 2000; ZERO in life

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -poet wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > Friday, January 7, 2000; 20:00 > Tonight, tonight. > Right now, as I begin this, I was supposed to be somewhere fun, meeting > someone who had answered my personal ad. > Why am I not? > Good question. I’m glad you asked. > A lonely man emailed me. Then he called me a few times, and asked me out. We > had some things in common, including loneliness and walls. > Suddenly, the morning of, he emailed me and canceled. He was "uneasy." I > think mainly because I wouldn’t commit to a physical relationship. (Sorry – > how can I do that without meeting, without getting to know you?) Then, a > while later, he emailed me again to say it was really a matter of distance > and logistics and that it had nothing to do with what I’d said. That is, it > was a contradiction, a kind lie, if you will. > So, here is a lonely guy who cut off an opportunity to meet a wonderful > person (me . And he no doubt will tell people that he is having trouble > meeting women and finding his soulmate, blah blah blah – but he is not > willing to make an effort to overcome small obstacles, let alone major ones. > (The distance isn’t that great.) I was already feeling very hopeless in a > general way. This has made it much worse. > Here is part of what I sent him. > "I want someone who is passionate about *me* and about whom I feel > passionate. Someone who feels one with me, heart and soul, whether it’s > because we have the same interests or the same outlook on life, or > complementary personality types. In Jane Eyre, Rochester describes it as a > thread between himself and Jane – and that if that thread were ever severed, > he would bleed to death. Perhaps a little too obsessive sounding, but that’s > kind of the general idea. One who appreciates that physical intimacy is an > extension of emotional intimacy – that each is essential for other. That you > can’t make love in a void of emotion. I can’t. > "In general, I think that a good relationship can and will overcome > logistical barriers, that two people who want to be together will be > together simply because that is what they want. If it is not meant to be, it > is because they really didn’t want it. Which is how I think you feel." > Sunday, January 9, 2000; 22:42 > And today I was supposed to meet another guy, only we missed it each other, > partly through poor communications; partly because I am a space cadet. I > told him to call me tonight (because I want an opportunity to try to make up > for his trouble and to try to explain what happened), and managed to miss > the call. I hope he tries again. I really was looking forward to meeting > him, but I think I have blown this, too. > 0-for-2 in 2000. A big ZERO in life. Tomorrow, it’s back to the usual grind, > with nothing to look forward to. Nothing. As usual. The way it has been, the > way it is, the way it shall be. > And so it goes. > And so I cry. Warm tears from my warm heart. Someday it will be cold and > still, and then it won’t matter. As if it does now. > ***** > Artemis/Falcon/Poet: anon-14…@anon.twwells.com | > anon-21…@anon.twwells.com > ICQ: 28575776 > — > For more information about this posting service, contact: > h…@asarian-host.org — for all info about our server. > If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: > http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

It’s easy to say ahh but you have the rest of your life in front of you but I realize that’s not consolation in this sort of situation.  It does appear a lie was told and if it’s because he didn’t wish to know the real use but just wanted something physical then he is the one that lost not you.  I hope the future brings you better happenings in your life. Chief

Response:

*HUG* I think the fact that you had two chances already in 2000 is great… the ways they turned out might have sucked, but I see you are out there trying and connecting… and I applaud you for it… you are an inspiration to me since all I’ve done since the first is loaf around writing and resting (and enjoying it, but still alone).. I think I’ll start reaching out more this week and I appreciate the nudge… honest love, ric a million lumps of coal is worth picking up if the last one you find is a diamond in the rough – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -poet wrote in message <200001100448.VAA03…@asarian-host.org>… >x-no-archive: yes >Friday, January 7, 2000; 20:00 >Tonight, tonight. >Right now, as I begin this, I was supposed to be somewhere fun, meeting >someone who had answered my personal ad. >Why am I not? >Good question. I’m glad you asked. >A lonely man emailed me. Then he called me a few times, and asked me out. We >had some things in common, including loneliness and walls. >Suddenly, the morning of, he emailed me and canceled. He was "uneasy." I >think mainly because I wouldn’t commit to a physical relationship. (Sorry – >how can I do that without meeting, without getting to know you?) Then, a >while later, he emailed me again to say it was really a matter of distance >and logistics and that it had nothing to do with what I’d said. That is, it >was a contradiction, a kind lie, if you will. >So, here is a lonely guy who cut off an opportunity to meet a wonderful >person (me . And he no doubt will tell people that he is having trouble >meeting women and finding his soulmate, blah blah blah – but he is not >willing to make an effort to overcome small obstacles, let alone major ones. >(The distance isn’t that great.) I was already feeling very hopeless in a >general way. This has made it much worse. >Here is part of what I sent him. >"I want someone who is passionate about *me* and about whom I feel >passionate. Someone who feels one with me, heart and soul, whether it’s >because we have the same interests or the same outlook on life, or >complementary personality types. In Jane Eyre, Rochester describes it as a >thread between himself and Jane – and that if that thread were ever severed, >he would bleed to death. Perhaps a little too obsessive sounding, but that’s >kind of the general idea. One who appreciates that physical intimacy is an >extension of emotional intimacy – that each is essential for other. That you >can’t make love in a void of emotion. I can’t. >"In general, I think that a good relationship can and will overcome >logistical barriers, that two people who want to be together will be >together simply because that is what they want. If it is not meant to be, it >is because they really didn’t want it. Which is how I think you feel." >Sunday, January 9, 2000; 22:42 >And today I was supposed to meet another guy, only we missed it each other, >partly through poor communications; partly because I am a space cadet. I >told him to call me tonight (because I want an opportunity to try to make up >for his trouble and to try to explain what happened), and managed to miss >the call. I hope he tries again. I really was looking forward to meeting >him, but I think I have blown this, too. >0-for-2 in 2000. A big ZERO in life. Tomorrow, it’s back to the usual grind, >with nothing to look forward to. Nothing. As usual. The way it has been, the >way it is, the way it shall be. >And so it goes. >And so I cry. Warm tears from my warm heart. Someday it will be cold and >still, and then it won’t matter. As if it does now. >***** >Artemis/Falcon/Poet: anon-14…@anon.twwells.com | >anon-21…@anon.twwells.com >ICQ: 28575776 >– >For more information about this posting service, contact: >h…@asarian-host.org — for all info about our server. >If you want an anonymous account, visit our sign-up page: >http://asarian-host.org/emailform.html

Response:

Filed under: Overcome loneliness

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