Lonely Loneliness

having a bad day

Question:

I think the whole thing is troubling me. Having to deal with the aftermath of a divorce. Great I can overcome the loniness then I have to see him with his girfriend and some one tells me how they have been meeting for lunch for the last few years. Over come that then he tells me they will be spending our kids collage fund to buy a house then then then. It never ends I need peace. I can’t take the angry in his voice when I call and say the boys want to be with their friends and not hang out with him he made this mess but I have to live in this quagmire. This is not my only stop, but when ever something happens I am sure to fine someone here that has experianced the same thing and it has stopped me from making some mistakes or to see the mistakes that I have made. I know I am the only one that can get to the top of the hill and the more I hold onto my angry and my past the farther the top of that hill will be.

Perhaps I’m wrong, but it seems to me you have alot of smaller problems that combined, are stressing you. I don’t know of anyone who can deal with all of it at once, I sure couldn’t. My advice is to stop kicking yourself and work on fixing one or two things at a time. Okay, one at a time… First, why do you have to see him and his GF? Are you both in the PTA together? You need a bit of distance, don’t be afraid to tell him he’s a unwelcome sight. You say he’s planning on raiding the kids collage fund… you may wish to discuss this with your lawyer as this is a joint asset set aside from the both of you. He’s angry on the phone you say, well quit calling him. I know that seems silly, but it fixes the problem. And if he can’t call you without acting the ass, hang up on him. Divide and conqure, one battle at a time…. Goodluck. "to mold a new reality, closer to the heart" RUSH

Response:

I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Sometime life seems so bland, cold and hard… I don’t know exactly what is troubling you, but perhaps offer a diffrent viewpoint. You can gain some insight and wisdom here, but this shouldn’t be your only stop in the search for answers you seek. You say life is better than last year, better than last month.. could it be that your reaching the top of this hill? You could be there.. so hang on and keep climbing that hill. As to loneliness, mabey it’s time you started reaching out, to family, too old friends, to neighbors and even a few strangers… Goodluck. "to mold a new reality, closer to the heart" RUSH

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sometime life seems so bland, cold and hard… I don’t know exactly what is troubling you, but perhaps offer a diffrent viewpoint. You can gain some insight and wisdom here, but this shouldn’t be your only stop in the search for answers you seek. You say life is better than last year, better than last month.. could it be that your reaching the top of this hill? You could be there.. so hang on and keep climbing that hill. As to loneliness, mabey it’s time you started reaching out, to family, too old friends, to neighbors and even a few strangers… Goodluck. I think the whole thing is troubling me. Having to deal with the

aftermath of a divorce. Great I can overcome the loniness then I have to see him with his girfriend and some one tells me how they have been meeting for lunch for the last few years. Over come that then he tells me they will be spending our kids collage fund to buy a house then then then. It never ends I need peace. I can’t take the angry in his voice when I call and say the boys want to be with their friends and not hang out with him he made this mess but I have to live in this quagmire. This is not my only stop, but when ever something happens I am sure to fine someone here that has experianced the same thing and it has stopped me from making some mistakes or to see the mistakes that I have made. I know I am the only one that can get to the top of the hill and the more I hold onto my angry and my past the farther the top of that hill will be. I wondered were all my old friends went and as I was sitting at a product party I realized that I had nothing to talk about as they were all talking about how they do this and that with husband and remember when husband and I did this etc. I could not relate my storys any more I spent my whole adult life with this man and now all my memories are tainted everything that I thought was good or fun or even brilliant always ends with ya great but look were it got you. rant rant rant rant rant I am even sick of my self.   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "to mold a new reality, closer to the heart" RUSH

Response:

it’s also true that people who’ve never known pain have fewer dimensions….I find them profoundly uninteresting. Folks who’ve overcome challenges, or clawed their way up glaciers, have more than calluses; they have gravitas! They have empathy. They have character. but all the aphorisms are wearing on me, I’m like a perpetual rewind/replay, blah blah yadda yadda . . . yo soy quel boring!  Off I go. I just pushed my kayak over the lip and GOOSH!

"- This is very interesting. I printed it for further thought.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I always love this section from The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran : "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibtable.html – The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

  (snip)   then   then then. It never ends I need peace. I can’t take the angry in his   voice when I call and say the boys want to be with their friends and   not hang out with him he made this mess but I have to live in this   quagmire. that I have made. I know I am the only one that can get to the top of   the hill and the more I hold onto my angry and my past the farther the   top of that hill will be.   I spent my whole adult life with this man and now all my memories are   tainted everything that I thought was good or fun or even brilliant   always ends with ya great but look were it got you.   rant rant rant rant rant I am even sick of my self.   I love that! I was reading your rant and empathizing so deeply, nodding my head, and I got to your last few words and laughed because just last night I thought the exact same thing: "I’m sick of myself." I think this is a good sign, that you think that! It shows you have some perspective and possibly even a little humor. It IS awful, it IS ghastly, it is stupendously painful and difficult and unbearable….and just when you think you can’t go on, you go on. minute to minute. and the pain can be like an entire-body open wound. Just hang on, for yourself and your kids.     "to mold a new reality, closer to the heart" RUSH

Response:

"- This is very interesting. I printed it for further thought. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I always love this section from The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran : "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibtable.html – The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

It’s the rollercoaster…  <sigh Whatever you do…DON’T consume alcohol.  I had a few of *those* days myself and drinking can kill ya (literally). Hang in there & know that you’re not alone (as in…there are many others suffering along with you)…but it does get better. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

Does that mean I shouldn’t have my third Rum N Coke?   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – It’s the rollercoaster…  <sigh Whatever you do…DON’T consume alcohol.  I had a few of *those* days myself and drinking can kill ya (literally). Hang in there & know that you’re not alone (as in…there are many others suffering along with you)…but it does get better. I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

I think sometimes we just have to ride the waves… go with the flow in a manner of speaking.  Perhaps the tide will turn soon.   As they say, "A rising tide lifts all boats."  [Rog']

Response:

I always love this section from The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran : "Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity: For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen, And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears." http://www.columbia.edu/~gm84/gibtable.html – The PROPHET, by Kahlil Gibran

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

I am feeling very beat up latley. I come and read here and try to gain some insight and I do, things do get better they are better than last month much better than last year but they still stink. the loneliness the struggle the worry they don’t lessen you just carry them around and they start weighing you down. Dee

Response:

Filed under: Overcome loneliness

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