Lonely Loneliness

just thinking

Question:

Rainbow Knight wrote in message … >Hi Ric and Richard! >Or Ric and Ric?

I’m thinking of changing my name to ricc just to be more uniquely identifyable >Welcome to ASL, Richard. >I’ll not ricall you to read the FAQ. Actually, >your suggestion to "not read posts that make >you angry" is a netiquette tip consistent with >its content.

I believe it is an essential skill everyone need to learn in order to be a supportive and constructive member of any group, be it group of friends or support group, but especially in a support group where people are bound to discuss delicate emotions that might offend or be too close to comfort for some… to respect everyone’s right to open up and discuss their feelings freely is basic common sense if we’re to help each other… >You both make some good points and I agree with some. >OTOH, my analysis of the specific issue of this thread >was different. I will also focus now on deviations of >my opinion from Ric’s (and Richard’s too as they sound >pretty alike, let aside the name <giggle>).

will these be standard deviations? >On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 01:37:12 -0500 "ric" wrote: >> you’re a welcome addition to my reading Richard >I agree on this one. ;o) >> if we guess that the common thread bringing most everyone here >> is the word and experience "loneliness" then perhaps it’s not >> so surprising that the group is not the model of functional >> social behaviour… I mean, if we were all able bodied skilled >> social being, we’d probably not be lonely… >Wait. This is an oversimplification, as it applies to some but >not to all. Lack of social skills, one way or another, is a >typical cause but far from being the sole. Let me remind a >couple of further "classes of cases".

definitely true, I simplified a lot… my attempt not to step on toes definitely makes for a shallow perspective, but I would not wish a repeat of previous misinterpretations so I stay shallow and as general as possible for now… I’ll discuss things in more depth in other forums… >1. Loneliness consequent to unwanted physical/geographical isolation. >Perhaps the most common is that of the homebound (maybe consequent to >an accident or illness that took place during adulthood). >In this case, being *not* used to loneliness from youth is >supposedly not an advantage. >Also, such situations *may* be permanent.

agreed >2. Loneliness due to a different nature/attitude/culture/interests >with respect to surrounding people. This is less easy to recognize >as such, but not less real and I think it is not that rare. Pretty >common among artists and phylosophers.

agreed >You see, we’ve boxed a number of people, a category that, >considering both cultural and individual differences, let >aside alternative reason that took them here, is not only >wide, but very scattered.

agreed >At a first glance, the expression "group for loneliness" is >almost an oxymoron as "leaders of anarchists". In reality, >this is the less focused NG of the category alt.support. >What we have all in common? A word that is not meant by >everybody the same way.

agreed >This is the reason because one cannot expect a very >compact forum. Attempts to make it like this may be >counterproductive. This does not mean that we should >give up in improving the group, only that this >polymorphic nature should be taken into account.

agreed >Actually, the last remark sounds again in agreement >with Ric, who also adds: >> in this world there nobody can please everyone… >> tolerance for differences and forgiveness of trasspasses >> are two skills very necessary to be social beings… >ATB >Raffaele

thanks for responding Raff… and thanks for the creativity and information and work you put into your websites and the cooperative work that is bringing good people and good web-work together… I encourage everyone to check out your sites and join the webring (for more information feel free to contact me privately honest love, ric "love while you can, cry when you have to be who you are, that’s a part of the plan await your arrival with simple survival and one day we’ll all understand… "                                 ~ Dan Fogelberg ~ >Remove MAPS from the address to reply. >                *** Homepage *** ><http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/> >                *** ASL RAF FAQ *** ><http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/aslfaq.html>

.. ..

Response:

Hey guys, after you explain that one, could someone then define what a "pot stirring troublemaker" is? Thanks, NMB Gina wrote: > Say….could someone define "SPAM" for me ?  I know it has been talked about > before, but I’m not real sure what actually constitutes "spam" in a newsgroup. > Thanks. > Smiles, > Gina > http://hometown.aol.com//lawdawga/HomePpage.html > *Visit ASLFAQ’s FAQ Page* > http://members.aol.com/aslfaq

  ——–== Posted Anonymously via Newsfeeds.Com ==——-      Featuring the worlds only Anonymous Usenet Server     ———–== http://www.newsfeeds.com ==———-

Response:

 Perhaps some do,but not everyone blames you Pamela.           Scott Pamela wrote:

Blame me.. it seems many do anyway.. and you don’t wish to understand it all… sometimes ignorance is bliss.. Pamela

Response:

thank you Zella… how are you? life here is pretty hectic with my roommate’s houseguests (one is a 2 year old, and as 2 years olds do, she’s taken over the house)… and I’ll be on the phone waiting on line long distance to clear up car paperwork stuff (switching states isn’t always a smoothe operation)… hopefully it won’t take too long, but that’s the day ahead for me… hope your day is smiling for you honest love, ric "don’t let it get you down   it’s only castles burning   just find someone who’s learning   and you will come around…"         ~ Neil Young  (paraphrased) ~ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Zella wrote in message <38b1683e.5473…@168.0.0.200>… >welcome back, ric >Zella

Response:

Say….could someone define "SPAM" for me ?  I know it has been talked about before, but I’m not real sure what actually constitutes "spam" in a newsgroup. Thanks. Smiles, Gina http://hometown.aol.com//lawdawga/HomePpage.html *Visit ASLFAQ’s FAQ Page* http://members.aol.com/aslfaq

Response:

Hi Ric and Richard! Or Ric and Ric? Welcome to ASL, Richard. I’ll not ricall you to read the FAQ. Actually, your suggestion to "not read posts that make you angry" is a netiquette tip consistent with its content. You both make some good points and I agree with some. OTOH, my analysis of the specific issue of this thread was different. I will also focus now on deviations of my opinion from Ric’s (and Richard’s too as they sound pretty alike, let aside the name <giggle>). On Mon, 21 Feb 2000 01:37:12 -0500 "ric" <asl…@REMOVE-CAPS-BEFORE-REPLYegroups.com> wrote: > you’re a welcome addition to my reading Richard

I agree on this one. ;o) > if we guess that the common thread bringing most everyone here > is the word and experience "loneliness" then perhaps it’s not > so surprising that the group is not the model of functional > social behaviour… I mean, if we were all able bodied skilled > social being, we’d probably not be lonely…

<snip> Wait. This is an oversimplification, as it applies to some but not to all. Lack of social skills, one way or another, is a typical cause but far from being the sole. Let me remind a couple of further "classes of cases". 1. Loneliness consequent to unwanted physical/geographical isolation. Perhaps the most common is that of the homebound (maybe consequent to an accident or illness that took place during adulthood). In this case, being *not* used to loneliness from youth is supposedly not an advantage. Also, such situations *may* be permanent. 2. Loneliness due to a different nature/attitude/culture/interests with respect to surrounding people. This is less easy to recognize as such, but not less real and I think it is not that rare. Pretty common among artists and phylosophers. You see, we’ve boxed a number of people, a category that, considering both cultural and individual differences, let aside alternative reason that took them here, is not only wide, but very scattered. At a first glance, the expression "group for loneliness" is almost an oxymoron as "leaders of anarchists". In reality, this is the less focused NG of the category alt.support. What we have all in common? A word that is not meant by everybody the same way. This is the reason because one cannot expect a very compact forum. Attempts to make it like this may be counterproductive. This does not mean that we should give up in improving the group, only that this polymorphic nature should be taken into account. Actually, the last remark sounds again in agreement with Ric, who also adds: <snip> > in this world there nobody can please everyone… > tolerance for differences and forgiveness of trasspasses > are two skills very necessary to be social beings…

<snip> ATB Raffaele Remove MAPS from the address to reply.                 *** Homepage *** <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/>                 *** ASL RAF FAQ *** <http://www.angelfire.com/mi/raffaele55/aslfaq.html> — Free audio & video emails, greeting cards and forums Talkway – http://www.talkway.com – Talk more ways (sm)

Response:

welcome back, ric Zella

Response:

>I dont want ot blame anyone Pamela.. really.. I just want everyone to be >happy.. thats why I am worried… >Hugs , Marta

Dear Marta….I didn’t read in any blame in your very caring message…..I did read genuine concern and worry.  While it’s my opinion that there are a few responsible for the disruptions…..the fault belongs to no one single person. I’ve been known to bite the bait myself and it always makes me feel so bad and sad after that happens….but it makes me even sadder to see some honest, lonely, caring people being taunted, or their feelings trivialized.  It is sometimes a no-win situation…but in the end, the truth of who is and who is not sincere shines brightly.   Thank you for helping support to return to ASL. Hugs and Smiles, Gina http://hometown.aol.com//lawdawga/HomePpage.html *Visit ASLFAQ’s FAQ Page* http://members.aol.com/aslfaq

Response:

I dont want ot blame anyone Pamela.. really.. I just want everyone to be happy.. thats why I am worried… Hugs , Marta U

Filed under: Overcoming Loneliness

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